Carmen Electra is pushing 40 but more importantly is pushing boring. It’s just not quite the same as staring at her in the 90s at her peak of fame. It’s like she had her moment of glory, her time to shine, and seeing her now, is not one of those “For Old Times Sake” but is more “Old Timer”…there’s so much hotter young pussy we should focus on, let’s think of this as the unofficial Carmen Electra Sexuality Obituary….
I may be repetitive, but so is Carmen Electra’s…it’s getting as old as her….
So here she is hosting a Labor Day party with her cleavage in a tight dress….and it’s safe to say it is because all the real celebs were busy…and the time and a half stuatory holiday pay wasn’t enough for them to take time away from their long weekend…forcing promoters to book the low level trash, we call them the second string, to come in and take their place…..I mean you see this in all businesses open on Labor Day….it’s always the new girl, the half retarded girl, the person with a gambling problem who doesn’t take the day off because they need the work, they want to prove themselves, they have nothing better to do cuz they are the second string in all aspects of life….but at least she’s showing off body…
Maybe I’m desensitized and I don’t find this Pussycat Doll Vegas Burlesque shit fun or interesting to watch. I grew up on hardcore porn and real strippers, and although I can appreciate the art of striptease, I don’t like when the shit is intellectualized or made into anything more than getting naked for a motherfucker to throw a handfull of dollar bills at a slut , or maybe Carmen Electra is just oo old for this choreographed Vegas show, like a 20 year old just starting out and trying to get work in entertainment…while Carmen Electra is on the tail end of her fucking career and is just doing this for one last paycheck and cheer from a man who remembers her from the 90s.
There comes a time in every woman’s life where she gets old and grows herself a muff gut….Even for bitches who have relied on their looks and luckily it worked out for them….You know just nothing she can do to deflate that fat above her uterus…sit ups won’t work, bigger fake tits won’t work, nothing will work…but to accept the natural process of man…and stop wearing tight fucking clothes…End of an era maybe, but I’m pretty sure she’s still a fucking a slut…
I call Carmen Electra Carmen Sandiego cuz I don’t know where in the world she is….You know since her career died and she pretty much disappeared. I’m witty like that, you know almost comedic genius except for the whole “it’s not funny” part…at least not funny according to her ex husband and my twitter best friend Dave Navarro who told me I was an idiot when I wrote that…which would have hurt my feelings if I had feelings..
That said, here are some pictures of Carmen Electra, clearly still alive, dressed for St Patrick’s day, stretching in all kinds of good ways next to the pool, even if this isn’t the 90s and she’s not the hottest fake tits on MTV….even if she’s no longer in her 20s….even if she looks like Fergie….even if she’s wearing too much clothes…it’s good enough for me cuz I’m the kind of guy who likes watching local yoga troops in action…it’s like free porn in the park during the summers…and free porn is always good porn…even if the girls in the shit justify why it’s free…if you know what I mean…
I guess horse racing has lost its appeal. There was a time when this was the most exclusive shit you could attend. You know high society in their hats betting all kind of money for a festive day at the races….it is some sophisticated gambling that takes some intelligence but now they are letting stripper trash through the doors….you know the kind of shit you’d expect to see rockin’ the slot machines in a Nevada gas station…with memories of her glory days rockin’ celebrity cock in the most luxurious suites Vegas had to offer…..for 1000 dollars an hour…but now she can’t even get work jerking off cows at a dude ranch….
Sure, in Carmen Electra’s defense, some of the most active horse betters I know are fat, old, french trash who live in a disgusting one room aparment near the track…so I guess there is room for her…and I guess it’s better in Australia, where these pics were taken, cuz she’s not getting shit done over here….
Gapped tooth bikini model who actually looks good outside of her stupid dresses and in bikinis was also there cuz she’s Australian….and possibly got kicked in the face by a kangaroo as a poor child who couldn’t afford surgery or orthodontists…
NewNowNext Event makes me laugh because with a name like that you’d expect the shit to generate some interest for up and coming stars, not bitches I used to jerk off to in the 90s. Seriously, what the fuck happened to Carmen Electra. I remember thinking she really had it going on, but then one day she disappeared and I guess me and everyone else forgot about her, until now…because I guess she’s planning on making a comeback, I mean why else would she be at the NewNextNow event, but in all liklihood, maybe they had free food, something her lack of work bank account appreciates…
Here’s Perez Hilton, another soon to be has-been who was at the event begging for attention…cuz I don’t know anyone who bothers with his site now that there’s TMZ and RadarOnline…but when the motherfucker is dressed like this…I don’t mind posting it…cuz it’s too weird, trying too hard, too lame to be ignored…seriously – what the fuck is this…what a fucking joke. More people need to punch him.
So there was a Carmen Electra sex tape that hit a few weeks ago. It was pretty clear the shit was a publicity stunt, it just wasn’t obvious what the shit was a publicity stunt for. You know she was a Playboy whore who showed her naked pussy to establish a career, so it was only natural for her to whore herself as her career slowly comes to an end. Unfortunately, it was just a viral ad for the internet to generate some buzz for some fashion designer, and not a publicity stunt to get her a reality show or her own line of perfume like she was Paris Hilton, so there’s no pussy penetration, just some strategically shot bullshit to look like it’s more relevant than it actually is.
This seems about right, I haven’t heard shit about Carmen Electra in at leaast a year and now home made sex tapes with her making out with chicks in her underwear hit the internet. It’s a formula all the whores are doing and Carmen Electra is one of the original piece of trash in Hollywood to get famous from her fake tits, so it was either do Dancing with the Stars or this, and since Dancing with the Stars doenst allow her to be naked sucking dick on camera which is all she really knows, she opted for this and I’m not complaining, just wish it happened a few decades ago instead of now, but a few decades ago the desperation just wasn’t there, since people still cared about her….
I think it’s time for Carmen Electra to throw that stipperobics DVD she hosted back in and start practicing what she learned cuz she’s lookin’ fat. Maybe she’s getting ready for a role as a fat chick, but I don’t think Carmen Electra ever got work for any reason other than her hot body….
I guess it is normal that with age comes sagging and weight gain and as much as I liked Carmen Electra and her fake tits, that Iam sure she’s glad she has now that her body has started to turn thick and rectangular, and they keep things a little top heavy and curvy like some kind of optical illusion, like most post-menopausal women and that I am sure she was glad she had when she was younger because they are a hug part of her fucking career, but that I am not glad she has because I hate fake tits, not that my opinion really matters to this whore, so I don’t know why I’m bothering writing it out, I should just say appreciate this bitch while you can, because like a roller coaster ride, the fun always comes to an end and I have a feeling these pics are the last fuckin’ stretch and I’m just amazed that with a body like this, she hasn’t had a few kids fuck her shit up, instead she only has her and her laziness to blame….
This video is annoying but you can see Carmen Electra in a thong, or Kim Kardashian dressed like a slutty sailor. I think the whole pinup burlesque shit is designed for fat, ugly girls who can’t make it as real models, but Carmen Electra is still hot even though she’s old. Kim Kardashian not so much…
So it was Coachella this past weekend. Coachella is some bullshit music festival in the middle of the desert, where idiot hipsters, music snobs, followers, celebrities, the media and pretty much everyone make a point of going to. I don’t like music festivals because if I wanted to rub up against a lot of dirty, unshowered assholes, I’d just hit up the homeless shelter or wherever else unshowered people hang out. Music festivals are places I don’t belong. I hate crowds and I hate idiots and if I need to listen to music, I’ll just turn on the fuckin’ radio.
So doing what any media giant like myself would do, I google searched Coachella and came across this garbage party footage that has 1 view.
In it Carmen Electra says her birthday is today. So happy birthday goes out to her you know since all these years she’s given us the gift that is her tits.
Here’s another video called “Celebrities at Coachella” that I didn’t watch…
I met a make-up artist on Twitter since it’s my new hang out . I pretty much use it to respond to random famous people and make stupid comments about the shit they write and the whole thing is pretty funny to me, but like everywhere else in my life, I get ignored and I can’t get as many followers as even the most useless pornstar, but I guess none of that matters.
What does matter is that this make-up artist told me that Carmen Electra is a natural beauty and by lookin’ at her tits, I think it’s safe to say the only natural there is the fact that I want to cum all over them. She’s older and has seen more and more cock as the years go on, but she still looks good to me and by me I mean Lenny from Motorhead, but let’s face it, his sexual catalog of pussy he’s fucked, is trashy old strippers from small towns with shitty tit jobs and a deep love for the song “Ace of Spades” because it has been a huge part of their livelihood and life all these years and just having the opportunity to meet him will let them die happy if for whatever reason they go home with a bad john, take bad drugs, or hang themselves from the shower curtains because their lives fucking suck.
That said, here’s some Carmen.
Here’s some Lenny from Motorhead singing Ace of Spades for the whores out there…
I didn’t check my email today – because I am lazy – but my good internet friend over at Antiquiet sent it these pictures that he took at the Chelsea Girls show all this went down at…..
Christmas came early for Hollywood’s favorite Lesbian when Carmen Electra showed up and did a little slutty stripper dance that we all know she’s very familiar with because she’s pretty much Hollywood’s version of a slutty stripper that ended with an ass slap that I think that it was a little too much for Lesbian Ellen to handle because by the looks of it, I think she came and had to change those Lesbian pants for the next segment but no one could tell because all her Lesbian pants are the same.
Also on the show today was slutty Anna Faris showing her legs and giving Ellen a pair of tacky tranny Christmas Shoes…that she goes onto model for us….something no pant wearing lesbian should ever do…
And to close out the show The Pussycat Dolls were there to keep shit wholesome….
BONUS – She’s Doing a TV Giveaway for Christmas and after luring Carmen and Ana Faris into Clooney’s Office to Take Smutty Pics (can’t find video of that), they roll out a TV to give to her audience and shit falls and I laughed…
And She Reveals the Costumed Whore Dressed Like a Hot Soothing Drink and It’s Paris Hilton….what she gives lasts more than just 12 days of Christmas…..
Now I’ve officially posted an entire episode of Ellen and I feel like I’ve paid back my lesbian brethren.
Carmen Electra was out dressed like a Playboy Bunny dealer at some Vegas Playboy Casino because I guess she’s trying to promote her new spread. I can only assume it was part of the deal she made with Hef when she was on her knees begging that she needed this recognition to feel like she hasn’t got too old to be worth fucking. I am sure 98% of straight men could have given her that boost of confidence she needed because she’s still got it going on, but unfortunately Carmen Electra thinks she’s too good to get with 98% of men and has probably already go through the 2% she does think deserve alone time with her pussy.
I was invited to a poker night tonight, I don’t know how to play, but figure getting in a room with a bunch of men, talking about fucking, smoking cigars, gambling and eating Pizza can be fun…as long as it’s strip poker and the bunch of men are actually a bunch of whores and instead of stripping, they have to get fucked, finger banged or suck my dick when they lose a hand, but only if the buy in is less than 10 dollars because that’s all I can afford.