Last year, when I heard that Carmen Electra was hosting a local night club for 2,000 dollars, I thought she had hit rock bottome.
It turned out that I was wrong.
Because in that year, she’s decided to come up with some stage show, despite being 40, where she actually sings and dances like some kind of poptart, despite being 40, and the whole thing, despite her still having a hot enough body, and rockin’ fake tits, is a horrible fucking joke.
She played some McDonald’s sponsored event and I can’t find video of it, because I assume it was that bad, and everyone was too busy laughing.
At least she looks classy – more 40 year old women need to dress and act like this.
Here is a some pics of Carmen Electra in her hotel room….having her pics taken by the paparazzi…a fact that in and of itself says that this shit is staged…cuz the last time the paparazzi was allowed anywhere near a hotel room of a star…it was Britney Spears during her crazy cry for attention I’m Bi-Polar phase…and he was having sex with her…
So she’s in her workout gear, all made up, and dying her shoe like a stripper putting on a weak stage show, a career that was probably better suited for Carmen Electra, but her timing was good and she won at fucking life…
But seeing her do this, like she’s not 100 fucking years old….is just awkward as fuck.
Carmen Electra decided to perform at someone’s birthday this past weekend…now I am not sure whether she was hired to perform as some kind of sick joke mocking her for being willing to get up on stage at 45 and pull this shit it….or if someone legitimately wanted to see Carmen Electra perform…or if this was actually just for fun…you know to be playful amongst friends…and the paparazzi just happened to be there…I just know it happened…and her fit body…looks fucking amazing…and despite hating girls over 30…I think I may be in love…and that’s not just because I liked her when she was relevant in the 90s…it is because this girl knows how to fucking move….a star stripper…who keeps her clothes on…I’m a fan…
Carmen Electra doesn’t realize that there comes in time in every farmer’s life where he has to take his old cow, or sow, or mare out back and put a bullet through her fucking head because she is no longer of use to him as she’s not producing and just wasting resources…and even if he still loves the beast and likes to bet her and take her to pasture to graze….there are younger and hotter versions of her to pick-up her job where she left off…
Seeing a 40 year old dressed like this on any day that isn’t Halloween is just awkward…..
There comes a time in every woman’s life where she hits a certain age and her vagina can no longer be referred to as a vagina cuz it is atrophied, ineffective, no longer functional…espeically when hep ridden and pretty much on Dialysis treatment away from death…..and I think it is safe to say that both Pam Anderson and Carmen Electra, memories from jerking off in the 90s, are at that point…but their retarded fake tits keep on delivering, because I guess they are still tween aged….
Lovecat magazine recruited these hags, and here are some of the pics…if you like expired milk…this is for you..
Carmen Electra is flashing her panties and/or vagina that no one cares about anymore because she’s 90. It would be safe to assume that she’s doing it for attention, you know hoping to get noticed since her last big gig was hosting the opening of an obscure club in small town canada for 5,000 dollars, but I like to think she just doesn’t give a fuck, like all 90 year olds who have been battered and broken down…trying to stay that hot girl from the 90s forever….just throwing the towel in to get on with retirement…kinda thing..
Whatever the reason, at least it happened, cuz I’m still down to look up any skirt, relevant, famous, hot or not.
I realize the stars who were representing her in the 90s when she successfully made the move from girl in Playboy to girl on MTV who made a lot of money…something very few girls have done before her….but it was back in the Pam Anderson / Jenny McCarthy/ Hef was booking hot enough girls for the mag, cuz he wasn’t a senile fuck who developed a love for manly lookin’ bitches with bad hair and bad tits, that if you’ve ever seen Playboy the last 3 years, you can probably agree with…unless you are one of Hef’s girls and this makes you sad and feel bad about yourself, which is should….
But what ever this hanging on to what she had strategy is, it is horrible. She’s staging self shot bikinii pics at her house, these are the third or fourth self-produced trying to be sexy acting like she’s not 40 in the last 2 months, hoping to get noticed, and this time she recruited a UFC girl with a huge fan base to join her, in efforts to steal some of her fans and get noticded…
It is pathetic…but not as pathetic as some of her club night appearances….
Sometimes, it is time to hang up the thong and retire gracefully….this is one of those times.
I don’t know if Carmen Electra is being entrepreneurial and launching some kind of bikini line, because this isn’t the THE FIRST TIME IN RECENT MONTHS that she has been in these weird staged bikini shoots at her house, like it was 1998.
I don’t know if it is part of her media kit she sends to clubs to book her to host parties like she wasn’ in her 40s and this was 1998….
I assume it is anything for attention cuz her self worth stems from people being interested in her it 1990s….even though it is not the 90s, but instead a 40 year old holding on as hard as she can….but I guess her tits are only 15 years old, so if you don’t look at the rest of her, it’s almost sex offending, I mean if only they weren’t buried under loose in elasticity, 40 year old skin…..
Nothing says hot like a bitch who was toned, hot and naked in the 90s, than seeing her turned into a mom, with a mom body, trading her size 0 waist for some kind of boxy weirdness she can than menopause and being in 40s for….it’s some kind of cry for attention that luckily involved her hiding her ass…cuz that shit would clearly make all of our memories of this bitch and her hotness come crashing down like the rest of her thanks to “gravity” and weakened elasticity in her skin….
I guess she’ll do anything for attention, just a few months ago she was hosting a club night at a local club and no one cared…I guess getting in a bikini was meant to generate some buzz…buzz that would be better spent starving herself and doing sit-ups……
I’m not an asshole, I just hate these bitches who don’t let go. They don’t embrace that they won the lottery and are millionaires thanks to their hot young bodies and fake tits, far more successful than local strippers with similar morals and values, you know naked in playboy for a quick buck that lasted a decade….longer than it should have….They are just greedy and want the money train to continue…even though they are talentless and their body that got them here didn’t stay up to par for the task….cuz beauty is fleeting motherfucker…and here is the proof….
Let go Carmen Electra…go back to your real name, Tara Leigh Patrick and be an adult, adopt a baby and be a mom, and save the bikinis for your vacations like other moms with fake tits….you’re done.
Carmen Electra is pushing 40 but more importantly is pushing boring. It’s just not quite the same as staring at her in the 90s at her peak of fame. It’s like she had her moment of glory, her time to shine, and seeing her now, is not one of those “For Old Times Sake” but is more “Old Timer”…there’s so much hotter young pussy we should focus on, let’s think of this as the unofficial Carmen Electra Sexuality Obituary….
I may be repetitive, but so is Carmen Electra’s…it’s getting as old as her….
So here she is hosting a Labor Day party with her cleavage in a tight dress….and it’s safe to say it is because all the real celebs were busy…and the time and a half stuatory holiday pay wasn’t enough for them to take time away from their long weekend…forcing promoters to book the low level trash, we call them the second string, to come in and take their place…..I mean you see this in all businesses open on Labor Day….it’s always the new girl, the half retarded girl, the person with a gambling problem who doesn’t take the day off because they need the work, they want to prove themselves, they have nothing better to do cuz they are the second string in all aspects of life….but at least she’s showing off body…
Maybe I’m desensitized and I don’t find this Pussycat Doll Vegas Burlesque shit fun or interesting to watch. I grew up on hardcore porn and real strippers, and although I can appreciate the art of striptease, I don’t like when the shit is intellectualized or made into anything more than getting naked for a motherfucker to throw a handfull of dollar bills at a slut , or maybe Carmen Electra is just oo old for this choreographed Vegas show, like a 20 year old just starting out and trying to get work in entertainment…while Carmen Electra is on the tail end of her fucking career and is just doing this for one last paycheck and cheer from a man who remembers her from the 90s.
There comes a time in every woman’s life where she gets old and grows herself a muff gut….Even for bitches who have relied on their looks and luckily it worked out for them….You know just nothing she can do to deflate that fat above her uterus…sit ups won’t work, bigger fake tits won’t work, nothing will work…but to accept the natural process of man…and stop wearing tight fucking clothes…End of an era maybe, but I’m pretty sure she’s still a fucking a slut…
I call Carmen Electra Carmen Sandiego cuz I don’t know where in the world she is….You know since her career died and she pretty much disappeared. I’m witty like that, you know almost comedic genius except for the whole “it’s not funny” part…at least not funny according to her ex husband and my twitter best friend Dave Navarro who told me I was an idiot when I wrote that…which would have hurt my feelings if I had feelings..
That said, here are some pictures of Carmen Electra, clearly still alive, dressed for St Patrick’s day, stretching in all kinds of good ways next to the pool, even if this isn’t the 90s and she’s not the hottest fake tits on MTV….even if she’s no longer in her 20s….even if she looks like Fergie….even if she’s wearing too much clothes…it’s good enough for me cuz I’m the kind of guy who likes watching local yoga troops in action…it’s like free porn in the park during the summers…and free porn is always good porn…even if the girls in the shit justify why it’s free…if you know what I mean…
I guess horse racing has lost its appeal. There was a time when this was the most exclusive shit you could attend. You know high society in their hats betting all kind of money for a festive day at the races….it is some sophisticated gambling that takes some intelligence but now they are letting stripper trash through the doors….you know the kind of shit you’d expect to see rockin’ the slot machines in a Nevada gas station…with memories of her glory days rockin’ celebrity cock in the most luxurious suites Vegas had to offer…..for 1000 dollars an hour…but now she can’t even get work jerking off cows at a dude ranch….
Sure, in Carmen Electra’s defense, some of the most active horse betters I know are fat, old, french trash who live in a disgusting one room aparment near the track…so I guess there is room for her…and I guess it’s better in Australia, where these pics were taken, cuz she’s not getting shit done over here….
Gapped tooth bikini model who actually looks good outside of her stupid dresses and in bikinis was also there cuz she’s Australian….and possibly got kicked in the face by a kangaroo as a poor child who couldn’t afford surgery or orthodontists…