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Archive for the Christina Aguilera Category

2010

12

May

Christina Aguilera’s Nude Mom Body Does GQ of the Day

I was always more of an X-Tina fan than a Britney fan. I was into her small hispanic single-parent tight body. At the time I thought X-Tina Aguilera was a one maybe two hit wonder. I was so convinced that I used to make drunken bets with the drunks I hung out with about how she’d be some gutter pig 10 years down the road, who had burned through her one or two hit wonder money, and who would be easy to fuck if you had a couple bucks for her to use to fuel her drug addiction.

I figured the only challenge was going to be finding her…..I was convinced I was going to get a chance to try to impregnate her before finding out she had a hysterectomy due to HPV she caught on the streets singing into stranger cock and unfortunately I was wrong, because if I was right, it’d be a lot more fun that this 10 years later cocktease…..

She’s making a comeback after having a kid with the ugliest human alive, and she’s making us forget she has a kid with the ugliest human alive, because she’s getting naked and photoshopped for GQ, and I guess it’s better than her laying low in shame like she has the past few years…cuz nakedness is nakedness even if is staged in a way I can’t see cunt lip or nip. Tease.

Posted in:Christina Aguilera|GQ|Nude

2010

07

May

Christina Aguilera Covers Up for Oprah of the Day

I have a feeling Oprah has a crush on Aguilera and said that if she wants to come to her show she has to show up in lingerie….and Oprah knows she wants to come on her show, cuz Oprah has a God complex and knows to get she can hel get Aguilera that launch Aguilera needs…..because Aguilera decided to step down from fame for a bit and start a family with possibly the ugliest human in the world, a circus act that didn’t have the same “Freak Show” appeal in today’s society as it did in the 20s when traveling Carnivals rolled through Americana small towns, so she needs the extra push to remind people that she isn’t Lady Gaga and that Lady Gaga isn’t the only fake blonde, fat uterus Madonna impersonator, despite what the music charts seem to say the last 18 months and that Aguilera was there first and deserves to get her place back because she is stronger, at least according to the lyrics of her last hit song….8 years ago….and I really don’t care, because seeing lingerie under a robe doesn’t get me off as well as seeing lingerie, not to mention her whole 1950s bullshit glam Marilyn Monroe shit isn’t working for me as well as flashing her mom pussy on mother’s day would…but I guess her Oprah appearance has nothing to do with what I want out of her. Cunt.

Pics via Fame

Posted in:Christina Aguilera|Covered Up|Oprah

2010

30

Apr

Christina Aguilera’s New Sexed Up Video of the Day

I get annoyed when I see people do obvious things to shock and awe and get noticed. It’s like bitch studied the Lady Gaga video and said “shit, if I do the exact same thing in a church, people will really think I’m wild, they won’t thing I’m trying too hard, or hanging on too hard, or being too obvious at all”….

I don’t get annoyed when I see popstars from my past half naked and trying to impress us all and captivate us all after years off by getting half naked and doing the gaga cuz at leasnt she’s not fucking Gaga and has some pussy I wouldn’t mind looking at or playing with even though her baby beat me to the fucking shit…cuz there’s nothing worse than a nasty weak chinned sloppy bodied popstar…

Either way, watch it. It’s a good comeback for the bitch. I am just happy people are talking about her and not Lady Gaga or Katy Perry who moved in when this one retired….and the visuals gives us hope of where the entertainment industry is going….and that’s deep into the depths of fetish porn.

Posted in:Christina Aguilera|Video

2010

28

Apr

Christina Aguilera’s Half Naked Lady Gaga Impression of the Day

Christina Aguilera is previewing her new video cuz she’s making a comeback….

It depresses me that Lady Gaga became such a big deal in music because now everyone is biting her style that she bit from Madonna in some kind of bullshit hipster fashionista claim that she’s a “performing artist” and that she pushed boundaries with her “House of Gaga”….

Not because I don’t like seeing these celebrities half naked fighting to get noticed, especially when they are Christina Aguilera and her breast implants, but because it just takes away the whole effect when I know this is her thinking Gaga’s way is the only way, essentially giving Gaga the credit she doesn’t fucking deserve just because she’s got a bunch of singles….

I don’t know how to make this make sense because I am a drunk, but what I am trying to say is that I hate that bitch can’t come up with her own act that is equally half naked while giving Gaga credit she doesn’t deserve and making herself look like a bottom feeding piece of trash, when really she paved the way for this bullshit…

I don’t think that made it make more sense….but watch the preview and enjoy.

Posted in:Christina Aguilera|Half Naked|New Video

2010

24

Mar

Christina Aguilera is a Cocktease in Shorts of the Day

Christina Aguilera is a cocktease. Not only did she get married young and have a baby young, killing our fantasies early on, before she got old and tired and we had no choice by to kill our fantasies ourselves, in some kind of jerking off suicide…but also in releasing her new single…from her new album….

On Her Website she was advertising a new song was going to drop and there was a countdown…when the countdown hit zero…they released the lyrics to the fucking song…and no song…that’s some bait and switch shit if I’ve ever seen one…What the fuck can you do with lyrics..but I guess it involves her fans spending the next 20 hours trying to figure out the melody of the song on their own or some shit and posting it on youtube or some shit…

Now, I’m not a fan of much other than her tits and the fact that I thought I’d bang her at least once before I die, but that marketing lie would seriously piss me off…If I was sitting here at the computer waiting for the, you can’t fucking trick me like that…It reminds me of when girls promise me nudes and send me a pic of a naked old lady after I invest hours in making them feel pretty…and that makes me fucking angry….

Here are some pics of her with stupid hair and a stupid outfit showing off some leg….and in 20 hours we can all cry masturbating to her angelic voice in shitty pop song format again…good times…

Pics via PacificCoastNews

Posted in:Christina Aguilera|Shorts

2010

17

Feb

More of Christina Aguilera’s Hot Little Body on the Day

If you read this site, you will know that I posted a few pictures of Christina Aguilera on set of her new movie, because I guess she’s an actor now, as acting doesn’t take much talent. She was wearing tight leggings and her body looked rockin, because I guess being in a movie called Burlesque means she strips down, not that burlesque stripping is really anything to get excited for, but we cal all hope Hollywood puts a hotter spin on it that the burlesque shows I’ve been to, where girls who dress like Betty Page and think they are in the 1950s, who you would assume is a lesbian and who is a solid 35 pounds out of weight humiliates herself in nipple tassels, trying to cocktease, when really just providing serious comedy….because hot girls don’t need to do that kind of song and dance to get laid….they can strip at real stripclubs or fuck rich guys who pay their way…like Christina Aguilera did and I am loving Christina Aguilera’s little whore body in tights…it brings back memories of jerking off to her ten years ago…good times.

And Some Hot Mom Camel Toe

Pics via PacificCoastNews

Posted in:Body|Christina Aguilera|Hot

2010

16

Feb

Christina Aguilera is a Street Walker on Set of the Day

I always knew she was a whore, but it really solidified when I found out she married that really ugly dude. It was clearly not a marriage of convenience since he is Jewish and you have to work to convert to marry a Jews, like Ivanka Trump and it was obviously not a marriage due to his boyish good looks, I think the only justifiable explanation is that he bought her with all his money. Sure she had enough money of her own to last a few lifetimes over, but there’s no way that this was for “love” or not monetary, because it is impossible to fall in love with something you can’t stomach lookin’ at, but it is easy to pretend you are, for a paycheck, especially if you are a whore….cuz whores love fucking for money…at least that’s what I’ve learned from my experience with whores…which is relatively extensive but mainly on the low end of the spectrum, cuz 50 dollars a cum was always maximum budget…not that you care..

On a sidenote, the only good thing about Christina Aguilera taking up acting in this Burlesque movie, is that it will prove to everyone that acting doesn’t really take talent or skill and that they’ve just been fooling you all these years to keep their club an exclusive one…cuz if every idiot became an actor, none of them would get paid stupid money and the whole industry would go to shit.

Pics via PacificCoastNews

Posted in:Christina Aguilera|Whore

2010

02

Feb

Christina Aguilera is Boring on Set of the Day

I downloaded these pictures thinking I wasn’t going to end up with pictures of some Celine Dion lookin’ trash. I was like “oh shit, Aguilera on set of something called Burlesque, this is gonna be good”, maybe she’d have cameltoe, or she’d be breast feeding, or maybe even have a hard nipple, fuck I thought she’d at least look like she was worth trying to abduct and make your wife in the woods somewhere before getting caught and shot by the police but I was wrong… I am posting them anyway because I want you you to share my disappointment with me. Feel the disappointment and remember that feeling because I am sure you’ll feel it again soon, like next time you look in the mirror, or next time you open your pay check, or next time you sober up and see what you just slept with…I’m sure you’ve felt it before, only know you’ll think of me when it happens again and I’ll be glad to join you in spirit…This shit is far too emo…gonna put it out of its misery now….

Pics via PacificCoastNews

Posted in:Boring|Christina Aguilera

2010

01

Feb

Christina Aguilera’s Mom Tits of the Day

I had a bet that I would fuck Christina Aguilera at one point in my life. In 1997 it seemed like it was possible. She was a good girl who had years ahead of her to go sour and I was an ambitious alcoholic who was addicted to drugs and totally fucking delusional and believed I was going to get to Hollywood and find a way to stick my dick inside the bitch…but with my laziness came marrying a fat chick for security and with her lack of a father came marrying a really ugly dude and having his baby pretty much killing herself without actually killing herseland I guess the whole thing officially went sour when the guy I made the bet with died in a car accident….but I can still celebrate her fake tits like I did when they were slowly being installed in installments so that she didn’t just show up after a vacation with huge tits, throwing off her 10 year old girl fans in a time when the world was way more sensitive….

Pics via PacificCoastNews

Posted in:Christina Aguilera|Tits

2010

12

Jan

Christina Aguilera is Still On Set of the Day

I hate when people defend actors. They tell me how hard their jobs are and how many hours they put into the shit, when I know that all they do is remember a handful of fucking lines they are about to shoot, and spend the rest of their time on set either repeating themselves until it is perfect, or sitting in their trailer doing blow, playing videogames, or pretending they are so fucking great while fucking groupies in front of the mirror, all while getting paid millions of dollars….I think the fact that Christina Aguilera was cast to be in a movie just proves that anyone can act and that everyone has what it takes, it doesn’t take years of training or any of that shit, you just need to know how to read or have someone next to you tell you the lines you have to say. It’s a great fucking scam that I wish I got up on, but I just don’t think the camera loves me as much as it should….in fact no one loves me, but that doesn’t change the fact that Aguilera brought her little slut ass out to set….where she got to rub up next to a dude who doesn’t look like her monster husband….and here are the pics….

Pics via Bauer
Pics via Fame

Posted in:Burlesque|Christina Aguilera

2010

11

Jan

Christina Aguilera, Cher and Kristen Bell Do Burlesque of the Day

I am too lazy to figure out what’s going on in these pictures. I just know that Vampire Den Mother Cher gay icon tucked her weathered Native American cock into her sequined girdle or the “Spanx” as the trendy refer to them today, only to taint Kristen Bell’s fat ass that her new brown hair can’t distract me from, while Christina Aguilera’s skinny ass and busted face waited outside a Burlesque show, where I guess she’s going to learn a few dance moves because pregnancy took her out of her “Dirrrty” mindset and just made her pussy dirty to look at or fuck thanks to opting out of the “C-Section” she was offered….good times…

Pics via Bauer

Posted in:Burlesque|Cher|Christina Aguilera|Kristen Bell

2010

08

Jan

Christina Aguilera in a Short Skirt on Set with Cher of the Day

Cher and Christina Aguilera are working together on set for something I can only assume gay guys are going to go fucking nuts over, I mean that is if gay guys other that Chazz Bono are still into Cher and her glamorous deep voice…and if they aren’t it still looks like its destined be something I will jerk off to when drunk and questioning my sexuality, cuz sometimes we gotta switch things up a little to see what it is that we really like and I’m assuming when I am done wiping the tears of shame from my eyes, this won’t be one of those things…either way, whatever is going on is weird and I’ll leave it at that cuz I’m hungover and don’t really care…

Pics via PacificCoastNews
Pics via Fame

Posted in:Christina Aguilera|Short Skirt

2009

30

Dec

Some Christina Aguilera for Old Times of the Day

I wonder if Christina Aguilera cares that Lady Gaga is the new her. You know does she sit at her luxury home watching MTV practicing Lady Gaga dance moves and dressing in Lady Gaga outfits remembering the glory days of when she was still relevant and not a washed up mother with an ugly husband who didn’t quite accomplish what Gaga has in the past year in her entire career….maybe it doesn’t really matter to her, maybe she’s happy with her life and family and I figure if I made a ton of money at a young age, I’d just spend my life getting fat and drunk not giving a fuck about anyone else, hell, I did that without making tons of money…but then again, I’m not Christina Aguilera and I don’t have the same hair dresser as the biggest thing in music…something she aspired to be….

Either way, here’s a reminder that Aguilera is still alive.

Pics via Fame

Posted in:Christina Aguilera|Mom|old

2009

25

Sep

Do You Remember Christina Aguilera of the Day

Do you remember a time when Christina Aguilera wasn’t a mother with an ugly Jewish husband and a shitty body? Remember, back when she was a hot body with perky fake tits and a tight ass that was making music videos that were the closest thing to trashy gutter porn on TV? Well based on this pictures, we should forget those days, retire those memories and give up on her because it’s pretty clear that this bitch has and that means she doesn’t deserve our support. What a fuckin’ waste of a good pussy.

Pics via Bauer

Posted in:Christina Aguilera|Retired

2009

01

Apr

Jordan Bratman’s Pussy Buys Lingerie of the Day

I did a post on panty shopping yesterday. How many times can a man admit his weakness or fetish or whatever the fuck you want to call getting off to watching girls I don’t know buy underwear. You’d think Aguilera would have a sponsorship set up, maybe free underwear shipped to her monthly, because got knows she goes through them like toilet paper, that drippy bitch. I guess she’s out trying to be sexy, you know to turn on her man, since she’s got all fat from the last pregancy and feels like shit about herself, smoke and mirrors and lingerie may do the fuckin’ trick. I guess she doesn’t realize that before her, dude was locked in his basement watching porn and fucking household objects before becoming rich, you know, cuz if she did, she probably wouldn’t have married him.

Here’s a video of her shopping on Melrose….

Posted in:Christina Aguilera|Lingerie