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Archive for the Christina Aguilera Category

2007

08

Aug

I am – Christina Aguilera Lookin' Like One Classy Broad of the Day

Christina Aguilera

I had to transfer to another school halfway through my sophomore year cause we moved and they wouldn’t let me go to the same school. I don’t make new friends too well, so school basically became a day to day schedule me being picked on and getting my ass kicked, cause I wasn’t a loser-jock-girl-fuck who wore Sweatsuits to school everyday with the word JUICY blazing across my ass. There was this one asshole named Juan who fucked with me everyday and was basically the dude who lead everybody else in fucking with me and the other kids, and who everyone in the school hated him but never said shit to him about it.

Before the end of the year he was drunk and crashed his car, genius that he was, and fucking died. Low and behold, all the sudden everyone was so sorry he was gone, and there was yearbook dedications and days off of school etc. What pissed me off most was how all those fucks that said they hated him the day before were suddenly so sad he was gone.

Not me, I didn’t give a shitand told everyone so and even got in trouble because of it. But that asshole had it coming, and karma is a bitch. They gave us all the day off on his funeral. I went out and got drunk with my friends from my old school in the park and lit firecrackers while I screamed with excitement. I knew that asshole was the cause of my problems, and sure enough, I had no problems at school after that and finished the school year in peace. Ding, Dong, the witch was dead.

I always liked Christina Aguilera, not just because shes an amazing fucking talent (her music kinda sucks, granted, but fuck can she can sing) but because I once read that everyone hated her in highschool and she used to get the shit kicked out of her all the time. It gives me hope that my piece of shit life will one day turn around and I will be rich, famous and throwing eggs at the people I hate while I hang out the roof from my Limo with a bottle of vodka.

Okay maybe not the Limo, cause limos are for losers but you get the idea.

hugs and kisses
Marie-Eve Martinez


Related Posts

I am – Christina Aguilera at a Press Conference in China With Her Big Ol’ Tits of the Day
GO

I am – Christina Aguilera in Montreal of the Day
GO

I am – Christina Aguilera’s Tour Bus of the Day
GO

Posted in:Christina Aguilera|Unsorted

2007

08

Aug

I am – Christina Aguilera Lookin’ Like One Classy Broad of the Day

Christina Aguilera

I had to transfer to another school halfway through my sophomore year cause we moved and they wouldn’t let me go to the same school. I don’t make new friends too well, so school basically became a day to day schedule me being picked on and getting my ass kicked, cause I wasn’t a loser-jock-girl-fuck who wore Sweatsuits to school everyday with the word JUICY blazing across my ass. There was this one asshole named Juan who fucked with me everyday and was basically the dude who lead everybody else in fucking with me and the other kids, and who everyone in the school hated him but never said shit to him about it.

Before the end of the year he was drunk and crashed his car, genius that he was, and fucking died. Low and behold, all the sudden everyone was so sorry he was gone, and there was yearbook dedications and days off of school etc. What pissed me off most was how all those fucks that said they hated him the day before were suddenly so sad he was gone.

Not me, I didn’t give a shitand told everyone so and even got in trouble because of it. But that asshole had it coming, and karma is a bitch. They gave us all the day off on his funeral. I went out and got drunk with my friends from my old school in the park and lit firecrackers while I screamed with excitement. I knew that asshole was the cause of my problems, and sure enough, I had no problems at school after that and finished the school year in peace. Ding, Dong, the witch was dead.

I always liked Christina Aguilera, not just because shes an amazing fucking talent (her music kinda sucks, granted, but fuck can she can sing) but because I once read that everyone hated her in highschool and she used to get the shit kicked out of her all the time. It gives me hope that my piece of shit life will one day turn around and I will be rich, famous and throwing eggs at the people I hate while I hang out the roof from my Limo with a bottle of vodka.

Okay maybe not the Limo, cause limos are for losers but you get the idea.

hugs and kisses
Marie-Eve Martinez


Related Posts

I am – Christina Aguilera at a Press Conference in China With Her Big Ol’ Tits of the Day
GO

I am – Christina Aguilera in Montreal of the Day
GO

I am – Christina Aguilera’s Tour Bus of the Day
GO

Posted in:Christina Aguilera|Unsorted

2007

25

Jun

I am – Christina Aguilera at a Press Conference in China With Her Big Ol' Tits of the Day

christina_aguilera_tits_top.jpg

I was out of town all weekend, like Christina Aguilera, only she was in China promoting something with her fat pregnant tits and I was up in the woods with no internet connection.

It’s called a low cost family vacation and what you do is hitch a ride up to the country with your neighbor and set up a tent he provides in the backyard of the shitty trailer park camp ground he’s been going to for the last 25 years and spend 2 days drinking his beer and eating his potato chips but the most important thing is to leave your fat wife at home and not tell her where you are going because she’s fat and wouldn’t fit in the tent, or be able to bend down and crawl in, but also becaue she is annoying and would constantly want me to babysit her while I want to do other things like sleep all day, try to spy on other campers all night in hopes of listening to them bang.

I always hated camping, even though it was cheap. I just found the whole concept stupid and I like beds more than sleeping on the ground in the woods getting eating by mosquitoes. But I guess as time goes on you realize that being at one with nature while drinking free booze and watching young french girls in bikinis is a hell of a lot better than sitting at your shitbox apartment eating ground beef.

When I was a kid, I was sent to some bible camp by my “foster/adoptive” parents in texas. The fucking thing was a week of Jesus but on the second night there, I snuck out to wander the grounds and shit, I came across 2 of the councillors, who were probably 16 or 17 going at each other like rabid raccoons, bitch was sprawled on all fours and dude was slammin her like it was an order from god. He was committed to her shit, and I sat and watched as it was my first time seeing people bang and I was loving it. The rest of the week, when dudes told me to be good or filled me up with that religious propaganda I knew that they, like me, were full of shit….

I guess all these camping stories kinda suck, but so does the fact that Christina Aguilera is married and knocked up to some dude who may not be much of a looker, but is more successful than you’ll ever be, so I guess you can shit on him all you want or just accept that she is a wallet fucker and start earning for your chance in. Good news is that she doesn’t use condoms….

Posted in:Christina Aguilera|cleavage|Pregnant|Tits|Uncategorized|Unsorted

2007

25

Jun

I am – Christina Aguilera at a Press Conference in China With Her Big Ol’ Tits of the Day

christina_aguilera_tits_top.jpg

I was out of town all weekend, like Christina Aguilera, only she was in China promoting something with her fat pregnant tits and I was up in the woods with no internet connection.

It’s called a low cost family vacation and what you do is hitch a ride up to the country with your neighbor and set up a tent he provides in the backyard of the shitty trailer park camp ground he’s been going to for the last 25 years and spend 2 days drinking his beer and eating his potato chips but the most important thing is to leave your fat wife at home and not tell her where you are going because she’s fat and wouldn’t fit in the tent, or be able to bend down and crawl in, but also becaue she is annoying and would constantly want me to babysit her while I want to do other things like sleep all day, try to spy on other campers all night in hopes of listening to them bang.

I always hated camping, even though it was cheap. I just found the whole concept stupid and I like beds more than sleeping on the ground in the woods getting eating by mosquitoes. But I guess as time goes on you realize that being at one with nature while drinking free booze and watching young french girls in bikinis is a hell of a lot better than sitting at your shitbox apartment eating ground beef.

When I was a kid, I was sent to some bible camp by my “foster/adoptive” parents in texas. The fucking thing was a week of Jesus but on the second night there, I snuck out to wander the grounds and shit, I came across 2 of the councillors, who were probably 16 or 17 going at each other like rabid raccoons, bitch was sprawled on all fours and dude was slammin her like it was an order from god. He was committed to her shit, and I sat and watched as it was my first time seeing people bang and I was loving it. The rest of the week, when dudes told me to be good or filled me up with that religious propaganda I knew that they, like me, were full of shit….

I guess all these camping stories kinda suck, but so does the fact that Christina Aguilera is married and knocked up to some dude who may not be much of a looker, but is more successful than you’ll ever be, so I guess you can shit on him all you want or just accept that she is a wallet fucker and start earning for your chance in. Good news is that she doesn’t use condoms….

Posted in:Christina Aguilera|cleavage|Pregnant|Tits|Uncategorized|Unsorted

2007

30

Mar

I am – Christina Aguilera in Montreal of the Day

christina_montreal_top.jpg

Here are the only pics I could find of Christina Aguilera partying in Montreal with her back-up dancers, or as I like to call them, a popstars hired friends and future husbands.

I didn’t got to this event, because I don’t leave the house, but I did see her tour buses and it was almost as hot as the real thing, because despite how much I want to see Christina sitting on her husbands face, she kinda looks like she’s been run over a few times since her days at Disney.

Speaking of sitting on faces and Disney, I went to a Disney exhibit at the local art museum, because Disney is apparently art and they had a modeling sized Pinnochio model that you’d probably like to sit on its face.

If you are wondering why I was at a Disney exhibit it was because there was promises of free booze and I wanted to scope out security before starting my Sunday Morning protest outside the museum picketing. I am protesting that Walt Disney molested my grandmother when she was a little girl at his theme park. I think it will get me some airtime on local news. I will keep you posted on how it all works out for me…I may be too lazy….

For some insane Christina Aguilera Cleavage Pics GO HERE

Posted in:Christina Aguilera|Unsorted

2007

29

Mar

I am – Christina Aguilera's Tour Bus of the Day

Christina Aguilera was in town tonight and I got something more interesting than pics of Christina Aguilera upskirts according to me and that’s a video of Christina Aguilera’s tour buses after her show. She did some cameo at some club that tried to charge me 20 dollars to get in and I don’t have any fucking money and left. But fate brought me together with her tour bus on the highway because a higher power new that we were connected at the fuel pump and lucky for me bitch’s tour buses were rolling next to us for a few minutes. This is the closest I will ever get to this cunt, but reality is that when I was a kid I always wanted a Tonka truck and not a blow up dolls, so it all worked out in the end….Look at me I am TMZ motherfuckers.

If you’re lucky there will be more pictures to come from inside the event…

Posted in:Christina Aguilera|stepTV|Unsorted

2007

29

Mar

I am – Christina Aguilera’s Tour Bus of the Day

Christina Aguilera was in town tonight and I got something more interesting than pics of Christina Aguilera upskirts according to me and that’s a video of Christina Aguilera’s tour buses after her show. She did some cameo at some club that tried to charge me 20 dollars to get in and I don’t have any fucking money and left. But fate brought me together with her tour bus on the highway because a higher power new that we were connected at the fuel pump and lucky for me bitch’s tour buses were rolling next to us for a few minutes. This is the closest I will ever get to this cunt, but reality is that when I was a kid I always wanted a Tonka truck and not a blow up dolls, so it all worked out in the end….Look at me I am TMZ motherfuckers.

If you’re lucky there will be more pictures to come from inside the event…

Posted in:Christina Aguilera|stepTV|Unsorted

2007

12

Mar

I am – Christina Aguilera's Orgasm Face of the Day

christina_aguilera_orgasm6.jpg

The site seems to be working, I think it was better for the world when it was down. Being down really doesn’t have that much of an impact on me because I really only have about 15 readers and I don’t really give a fuck about you anyway, otherwise I’d be running a mainstream site and trying to make money that way. I was told by some dude they make 1000 dollars a fucking day….that dude wasn’t me, I am too stupid or that, I putting days of writing into this site doesn’t pay the fucking bills and I am pretty sure it won’t be opening any doors for me but that’s ok, I can open my own doors, but my wife can’t because she is too fat to fit through the door.

I was at a coffee shop getting a blueberry tea because it has natural anti-depressants in it and overheard a rich 15 year old talking to her dad about how her friend’s dad has 2 Range Rovers and that he only has one. She was mocking him like he was a failure and the dad got up in a fit of shame and said he was going to call Mike and get a second Range Rover too.

It reminded me of when I worked at Bar Mitzvah’s operating the Mechanical Bull before getting fired. I’d end up at these 400,000 dollar events that you know were only that much because Daddy wanted to upstage the neighbor. It’s this competitive streak I will never understand, but that’s probably because I can’t even afford a bus ticket.

Speaking of Rich and Jewish people who like to upstage the neighbors here are some pics of Christina Aguilera looking like she’s having an Orgasm from last night. I doubt her husband makes her cum, even though he is rumored to have a huge cock, because he’s probably too busy counting his money and bragging to his neighbor’s about how much better she is than their haggard high school sweethearts that they ended up with.

Here are some Unknown Photoshoot Pics Floating Around…

Posted in:Christina Aguilera|Unsorted

2007

12

Mar

I am – Christina Aguilera’s Orgasm Face of the Day

christina_aguilera_orgasm6.jpg

The site seems to be working, I think it was better for the world when it was down. Being down really doesn’t have that much of an impact on me because I really only have about 15 readers and I don’t really give a fuck about you anyway, otherwise I’d be running a mainstream site and trying to make money that way. I was told by some dude they make 1000 dollars a fucking day….that dude wasn’t me, I am too stupid or that, I putting days of writing into this site doesn’t pay the fucking bills and I am pretty sure it won’t be opening any doors for me but that’s ok, I can open my own doors, but my wife can’t because she is too fat to fit through the door.

I was at a coffee shop getting a blueberry tea because it has natural anti-depressants in it and overheard a rich 15 year old talking to her dad about how her friend’s dad has 2 Range Rovers and that he only has one. She was mocking him like he was a failure and the dad got up in a fit of shame and said he was going to call Mike and get a second Range Rover too.

It reminded me of when I worked at Bar Mitzvah’s operating the Mechanical Bull before getting fired. I’d end up at these 400,000 dollar events that you know were only that much because Daddy wanted to upstage the neighbor. It’s this competitive streak I will never understand, but that’s probably because I can’t even afford a bus ticket.

Speaking of Rich and Jewish people who like to upstage the neighbors here are some pics of Christina Aguilera looking like she’s having an Orgasm from last night. I doubt her husband makes her cum, even though he is rumored to have a huge cock, because he’s probably too busy counting his money and bragging to his neighbor’s about how much better she is than their haggard high school sweethearts that they ended up with.

Here are some Unknown Photoshoot Pics Floating Around…

Posted in:Christina Aguilera|Unsorted

2007

05

Mar

I am – Christina Aguilera's See-Through Dress of the Day

christina_aguilera_dresstop.jpg

It was the Jewish Halloween this weekend, the reason I know is because I only have Jewish girls on my facebook. The reason I only have Jewish girls on my facebook is because I think only Jewish girls use facebook. It’s a site made by a Jewish dude for Jewish people that has all the Jewish support because dude’s Jewish and Jewish people like all things Jewish. I was going to say that it’s a lot like the Jewish deli down the street from me where Jewish people go to buy Jewish Kanish, but the dude who bought that Jewish store from the Jewish people isn’t even Jewish, he is brown and Jewish people don’t really like buying Jewish food off brown people, but as Jewish people become more socio-economically stable, as doctors and lawyers and budding champions of business and leaders of the entertainment industry, their dreams of opening shitty deli’s become dreams of expensive cars, big houses, and 150,000 dollar bar mitzvah’s for their kids….the dreams of opening shitty deli’s goes to the new age immigrants, like south east asians and people from India.

Point of this post is that Christina Aguilera jumped on the Jewish train, but not the kind that took them to the concentration camps back in the 40s, even though she dresses like she’s from the 40′s in all her videos…but she did jump on a Jewish rich kid with a record label and big Jewish dick to satisfy her trashy mexican ass…train and here she is advertising that she has an amazing body that I’d turn Jewish just to get inside too. That means get the top of my dick cut off for her. I am that committed.

Posted in:Christina Aguilera|Unsorted

2007

05

Mar

I am – Christina Aguilera’s See-Through Dress of the Day

christina_aguilera_dresstop.jpg

It was the Jewish Halloween this weekend, the reason I know is because I only have Jewish girls on my facebook. The reason I only have Jewish girls on my facebook is because I think only Jewish girls use facebook. It’s a site made by a Jewish dude for Jewish people that has all the Jewish support because dude’s Jewish and Jewish people like all things Jewish. I was going to say that it’s a lot like the Jewish deli down the street from me where Jewish people go to buy Jewish Kanish, but the dude who bought that Jewish store from the Jewish people isn’t even Jewish, he is brown and Jewish people don’t really like buying Jewish food off brown people, but as Jewish people become more socio-economically stable, as doctors and lawyers and budding champions of business and leaders of the entertainment industry, their dreams of opening shitty deli’s become dreams of expensive cars, big houses, and 150,000 dollar bar mitzvah’s for their kids….the dreams of opening shitty deli’s goes to the new age immigrants, like south east asians and people from India.

Point of this post is that Christina Aguilera jumped on the Jewish train, but not the kind that took them to the concentration camps back in the 40s, even though she dresses like she’s from the 40′s in all her videos…but she did jump on a Jewish rich kid with a record label and big Jewish dick to satisfy her trashy mexican ass…train and here she is advertising that she has an amazing body that I’d turn Jewish just to get inside too. That means get the top of my dick cut off for her. I am that committed.

Posted in:Christina Aguilera|Unsorted

2007

01

Mar

I am – Christina Aguilera in Concert of the Day

xtina_concert20.jpg

Here are some pictures from Christina Aguilera’s tour. I am pretty sure that I have expressed my serious like for this slut because she is pretty open about being a slut. Whether it’s talking about spending the day naked or talking about her husbands massive cock that she loves or whether she’s rockin’ a pair of panties showing off her fake pierced tits, she always brings the goods. She’s one of those popstars who’s video you can jerk off to, but that’s not saying much, you’ve probably jerked off to 90 percent of MTV’s videos, not because they are hot, but because your retardation makes it hard for you to pull your hand away from you dick, chronic masturbator….

The other thing I like about Christina Aguilera is that she dates and marries ugly looking motherfuckers. Sure her Jew is richer than most people, but I am sure that’s got nothing to do with her wanting him up inside her. She’s got enough money to pay the phone bill so it’s safe to say that she’s got no taste and a celebrity with no taste works for me because it increases my chances of hanging out with them…

I know I’ve mentioned this to you before, but I am going to say it again, when Aguilera first hit the scene I bet a dude in the park that I’d bang her before I died. The chances of that happening are pretty slim because my obesity, sedentary lifestyle and horrible diet, my years of substance abuse and my new found love for cigars means my time is running out, but I still believe the dream, cuz without dreams we’re nothin’

I once dreamt that I had sex with a homeless woman for a home cooked meal and a shower and I kept that dream going for about a day before actually going out there and propositioning the better looking ones…and having my way with them….Which goes to show you that dreams do come true….

Posted in:Christina Aguilera|Unsorted