Elisha Cuthbert may be relatively uninteresting….you know a girl who had 5 minutes of fame years ago, fell off, and became known as Paris Hilton’s friend….you know a Montreal Local Hero who I wanted to have a candlelight vigil for when she was fat, not working and all around sucking…but she landed a TV show, bounced into shape and the 30 plus Elisha Cuthbert is looking better than she has the last 10 years….and as much as I hate admitting it, these Maxim pics are her at her hottest….funny how people get a second chance…
Montreal Hometown Hero…who is probably not really even considered from Montreal anymore….you know now that she’s been living in LA for the last 2 decades….is in some promo shots for her TV show I have never seen and didn’t know she even had…I just assumed she died….cuz I haven’t heard or seen shit about her in the last 4 years…and the last time I did hear about her she was some gutter, fat, coked up looking pig who didn’t really shower and who I assumed had given up….being Paris Hilton’s best friend does that to a person….and now she just pretends she’s one in promo shots for her show….that remind me of every girl I’ve ever picked up after a night out…only a bit better dressed…a little less scabby…..a lot less covered in puke….and a lot more alert….the hollywood version of a good old drag her in the alley for your first date good time….
All this to say….Cuthbert….a girl I was trying to stage a candle light vigil for her career at her parent’s house in flash mob awesome viral video form….is back on some Girl Next Door hotness….and here are the pics….
Remember boys and girls…spending half your 20s being a cokewhore doesn’t always ruin you….and this is the proof….
I am pretty uninterested in Elisha Cuthbert. Maybe that’s cuz she’s from Montreal, the place where I live, that hasn’t given me a key to the city yet, even though I’m substantially more important than most of the locals, except maybe this bitch and Jessica Pare, who is the wife in Mad Men, who recently blocked me on Facebook, cuz I know she’s not actually hot in person…..cuz I’ve seen her in person….
But I think it has more to do with her being some sloppy, chubby, friend of Paris Hilton, who may be on TV, but who still deserves a candlelight vigil outside her parent’s house….cuz she doesn’t turn me on like she did in that one movie she did, not even in photoshoots where she’s photoshopped and grabbing her tit like it matters….
I don’t know she’s dull, but I’m posting the pics anyway, cuz I got nothing better going on, see cuz unlike Cuthbert, I’m no celeb but a bottom feeder….
I know people who know Elisha Cuthbert because she is from Montreal…which happens to be where I live and there are only a dozen english people so everyone knows everyone….Apparently, she always had an ego, always thought she was important, because at a young age she was cast on some shitty TV show and the second you put a bitch on TV it’s all fucking over, their egos inflate, they move to LA and get cast in movies…only to come back with their hockey boyfriends and happen to be in the same bar as me one night…unwilling to respond to my requests to grab her breast….That’s why I tried to organize a candle light vigil for her career at her parent’s house, cuz her sister was living here, but no one was into my genius concept…instead they all wanted to jerk off to her cuz she was on 24 or Girl Next Door or some shit….
Either way, I hear she’s back on TV, and here are her tits in some photoshopped photoshoot that erased all her hard living and the fact that she’s pretty much 30 and boring….but she’s got tits…and I guess that counts for something…and that something doesn’t matter…this bitch needs to get substantially more naked, more scandalous, cuz that’s what I think her career and your masturbation habits really need…not that I like giving you my advice on your masturbation…it’s kinda gay…but I do prefer when the pics I post aren’t this well dressed and put together and more raw and gaping…Goodtimes…
Remember when Elisha Cuthbert was this hot thing everyone wanted a piece of, I mean maybe because I live in her hometown, I heard a lot more buzz about her than the rest of the world, but she was definitely all over the fuckin’ place, dudes were jerking off to her in that Girl Next Door movie, and she had some Maxim covers, and now she’s pretty much a dumpy lookin’ nobody. The only thing upsetting in these pictures is that she hasn’t come back home so that when I get drunk in the same bar as her I can do my best to destroy the little self esteem she has, you know make her feel like she really sucks at life for not being a big star, and making her want to prove herself to me by sitting on my face. See, I don’t care that she’s got fatter and looks like the kind of girl who doesn’t shower always, doesn’t keep her bush maintained and who may or may not have a 3 week old tampon lodged in her pussy, just because it was too much work to take it out, I’m talking Toxic Shock Syndrom pussy motherfuckers.
Here she is doin’ nothing, something she’s pretty fucking good at lately.
Here’s Elisha Cuthbert’s arm on fire on the 24 set. I didn’t know she was still working, I thought she was just some Canadian puck slut working the Hockey circuit and by the looks of this soap opera star performance, they probably should have let the rest of her burn up in flames with her career, but maybe putting out the fire was just symbolic of her career being snuffed out, because killing her on set would have lead to legal issues, but then again, what the fuck do I know,
The last time Cuthbert was partying in her hometown of Montreal, she had a security detail, thinking people actually give a fuck about her still and when a guy I know managed to sneak in and give her a flower as a joke, she snubbed him like she’s too fucking important to interact with the locals. Now, if you’ve ever been to montreal, you’d know that nothing here is “exclusive”. Homeless people party in the “hottest” clubs here and manage to get into the VIP rooms poppin’ bottles and I’m just tired of these Montreal sluts who leave the city to go onto bigger money and better things, coming back and acting like they are anything but the fucking white trash middle class suburban cunts we know they are.
They pretend they are too good for this shitty city, and maybe they are, I mean I’ve met ex strippers who are onto better things since leaving this city, but when they are here, they act like they are too big for the place and that they are doing me a fucking favor for visiting, like I give a fuck. I remember meeting this bitch from here, who had moved to LA a few years before and was visiting her parents over the holidays a couple years ago. After an hour of her talking about how great LA is and how well liked she is and how hooked up she is and how many celebrities she parties with and how amazing the clubs are, she turns to some falling apart stone building and asks me if it had aways been there, she was trying to be so fucking LA that she couldn’t be bothered to remember buildings in the city, or recognize something that’s been there for 300 fucking years, thinking that I’d be impressed with how sophisticated and Sex and the City she is for leaving the city because no one liked her here, and that I’d be impressed with how industry she is by being too important to remember here, when the truth is, I don’t give a fuck about Montreal and I don’t give a fuck about LA, I do give a fuck about being forced into tedious conversations with a piece of fucking shit of a person. Not that you do care…..because she wasn’t Cuthbert, in fact she was a total nobody, but I’m pretty sure they have the same attitude.
I guess the real sad thing in all this is that they couldn’t put out her double chin…..if I was more eager, I’d find the Cuthbert family home and hold a candlelight vigil for her career and her sex appeal, that shit would be number 1 on Youtube.
Elisha Cuthbert is still on the beach, but then again these pictures could be a couple of days old – I am not entirely on the ball when it comes to this shit. I have a few issues with the site, mainly that I could be getting sued for the use of copyrighted images despite taking down the images within 24 hours of receiving notice of who the pictures actually belong to because when I post them I have no idea who took them. I know this shit is repetitive and I am trying to figure out how to work around it, but there really is no way and as bigger corporations make their way onto the internet, running personal sites like this and running commentary on shit I find online is becoming harder to do. I don’t know what the future of the site is but I wanted to let you know that a lawsuit could be hitting soon and it’s kinda putting a damper on my day, kinda like how you feel after seeing your celebrity girlfriend who you thought you had a chance with because she’s not all that famous out in Hawaii with a richer more successful and famous dude than you, because you can be pretty sure if they are on a resort together, they are definitely havin sex with each other.
Here’s Elisha Cuthberty and her dumpy ass still on the beach, only today they decided to do fun activities like Sea Kayaking. I know that getting away to a sunny paradise is something you want to take full advantage of but when your a fresh new awkward lookin’ couple, I think it should be spent exporing each other’s bodies, figuring out what each other like sexually and most importantly fuckin’ like crazy people, because from my experience the best sex I’ve had has come from the mentally and emotionally unstable.
This one time, this schizophrenic chick drank on her meds when she wasn’t supposed to and it lead to her pretty much raping me and begging me to have a threesome, I was totally down until I realized that the other person involved was her alterego who was a 45 year old Jewish Accountant demanding me to give him my recipts, I still did it cuz I was in a vagina but I questioned my sexuality for about a week.
I guess none of that matters, what does matter is that Cuthbert is wearing her American pride bikini to get popularity votes by supporting your troops in Iraq while her hockey player supports her tits in his mouth as the dance around on the beach like a couple of fags.
Elisha Cuthbert is on Vacation in Hawaii and new bikini pictures of her from her trip with her boyfriend have hit because it turns out that people with money wear more than one outfit over the course of the week, something I can’t really relate to. I have my one trusty pair of jeans that are too small on me and my 3 T-shirts that I rotate as often as I have to based on smell. I do have a lot of pairs of socks because I’ve accumulated them over the years, they don’t match but they get the job done and I don’t really believe in underwear. I have the same pair of running shoes that I’ve had or about 7 years and that’s pretty much the story of me, but when Elisha Cuthbert pictures are being posted, I know that I’m not what you care about. I am a second rate citizen and can’t compete giving me more reason to hate this bitch for trying to steal my thunder. That said, she’s from Montreal and I’d love to find out what her home address is here so that I can invite myself over or Christmas Dinner. It’s probably a a lot better than the free shit they give you at the homeless shelter and it’s never too early to start planning.
BONUS – People Are Claiming This is A Nipple Slip…I Don’t See It…But Then Again…I’ve Had Sex
Elisha Cuthbert is in Hawaii with her Calgary Flames hockey playing boyfriend and I find that shit offensive. We get it, you’re fuckin’ Canadian bitch, you like hockey so much that you have to let their dicks up inside your dumpy ass consistently and to you hockey players are some kind of royalty because in Canada that’s how shit works and Hockey is the only thing important because celebrities in Canada and movies and TV and Music from Canada are all lame . I know that I hate hockey and I fuckin’ hate hockey fans and up until last week, when the Montreal Canadians were thankfully eliminated from the series I couldn’t leave my motherfuckin’ house without seeing the fagiest fuckin’ flags on cars and shirts on every fuckin’ person like I was in some kind of Twilight Zone episode because t, like Cuthbert think Hockey is a fuckin’ religion and would probably jump on hockey dick the first chance they got even if they never experienced dick before because they feel that passionate about the shit. I don’t understand why people can’t be normal and just obsess over normal things like the Girl Next Door, but I guess it doesn’t matter when Cuthbert is in a bikini because her nipples are hot and her body looks pretty alright and if I was a hockey team I would totally gang-rape her too, because it’s not considered the gayest thing when you’re a pro athlete and you spend your entire life in a shower or changing room with a group of men you’re supposed to be brothers with and prove that bond by shoving broom sticks up each other’s asses as initiation.
I am a drinker and I get drunk but for some reason I kinda hate drunk girls despite how slutty they get, just because trying to talk to them and manage their craziness becomes too much fuckin’ work, but the thing I like about drunk girls is that they let down their guard and usually are willing to jump on dick in some irrational horny lapse of judgment because the guard is down and they usually don’t use condoms because they are too drunk to be smart about their junk, making the girls you meet in bars usually a lot dirtier than the whores you meet on the street and here’s some Elisha Cuthbert walking out of somewhere totally wasted with some big guy who gives it to her and will probably have to deal with her puking all over his chest after going down on him because the room is spinning and the dick is hitting the back of her throat, but I guess that’s a small price to pay to have some d-list actress who hardly works up on your dick.
Elisha Cuthbert did Maxim and looks good but I pretty much have no interest in this Cuthbert. She’s from Montreal but has denounced Montreal, which I totally understand but since she thinks she’s too good for the city, whenever she comes back to visit her family who still lives here she acts like she’s god’s gift to the city, like she’s the biggest export that everyone should acknowledge when all she’s really done is one stupid teen move and a job on 24 which to me is substantially less successful than other Montreal exports like Celine Dion that bitch is my hero.
What I was trying to do was reach out to her sister because I heard she was worth fucking and more accessible since she’s trying to break free from her sister’s shadow. Girls her feel less relevant than their sisters are always willing to suck dick because they feel they deserve the attention. I once knew these sisters who were both pretty slutty, but the one who killed herself was the one who wasn’t molested by her father. She always felt like a second rate citizen to her sister who was obviously more desirable, at least in her mind because their dad chose her and that left some serious emotional trauma. I like the think that the Cuthbert sister is up on the same shit, but instead of their dad choosing Elisha, the rest of the world has and that’s some pretty serious shit to try to live up to and that’s why I am willing to hold her hand through the hard times.
Elisha Cuthbert is from Montreal and has a sister. I met someone who knows her and I decided that it would be funny to do stalker videos of her doing everyday things without her knowing. A little Elisha Cuthbert’s sister drunk leaving a club or Elisha Cuthbert’s sister buying milk or Elisha Cuthbert’s sister on a date. The lead I had told me she’s some store manager so I thought shit was easy. I figured that because her sister is an unsuccessful actress in Hollywood, she has to work retail to pay the bills, but then I was told that she doesn’t actually work and is hard to stalk because she thinks she’s some kind of local celebrity because of her sister’s fame so the idea was put on the back burner until I get more info.
It turns out that Elisha Cuthbert still has some tits and here are some pictures of her showing them off. The last I heard she was a lesbian with Paris Hilton and her lesbian haircut pretty much proves that to be a fact. So do her lesbian boots that I suspect are steel toed and go amazing with her flannel she left at home.
Either way, since she fucks Paris, I guess that means she’s got herpes, what I call the gift that keeps on giving… Paris is a modern day Mother Theresa, or even Santa Claus. She just keeps on handing that shit out like everyday is Christmas or like shit grows on trees, which I guess technically it does, because last I heard Paris had a pet monkey living in her box, no wait that was just Nicole Richie and they were just experimenting.
Elisha Cuthbert, if I was a hockey playing lesbian, would you be my Valentine?
Here are some pictures of Paris’ Practice Pussy that is now Damaged Goods in the world of Lesbianism because she has a boyfriend who “knocked” her up, when I really think dude’s just a bitch on hormone therapy cuz no man would be such a cunt….Nicole Richie showing off her pregnancy tits.
I can’t figure out what’s worse, partying with Paris Hilton or partying with Paris Hilton and taking a backseat to her when the paparazzi hits, because they have more interest in her than you, when you’re the one who is supposed to be a movie star and she’s just a tranny lookin’ rich kid with a sex tape. It’s gotta be one of those desperate times callin’ for desperate measures in Elisha Cuthbert’s career but at least she’s wearing a Jewish Outfit of the Day because Jews always succeed and this projection shit may work…..I’ll admit, I didn’t really spend all that much time thinking about this important issue and Ididn’t spend all that much time writing this post. I’m sick, it happens, Fuck You.