I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

Archive for the Eva Longoria Category

2024

12

Feb

Eva Longoria’s Hard Nipple Robot Look of the Day

Eva Longoria posted a set of pictures to her instagram where she’s wearing what looks like some metallic dress. If you zoom in on the tit, which I did, because what the fuck else are you supposed to do with instagram pics, you can see what looks like a hard nip.

The Mexican who I feel grew up pretending to be as far removed from being Mexican as possible, only to decide to embrace being Mexican when realizing how fucking awesome being Mexican is, especially when the powers of the Hollywood industry that control you because they gave you a lifeline decide that they need a Mexican voice to execute their money making scheme….

Well, Longoria has WAY too much hype and money for what you’d want from a first generation border jumper. People on the international level love her, like they love Taylor Swift and it’s hard to wrap your head around since neither are that great…but in the gold dress, with what could be the outline of a nipple, it’s fine….she’s old, but it’s fine…

Posted in:Eva Longoria

2024

02

Jan

Eva Longoria Yacht Girl of the Day

Since I love Mexico and Mexican women, except maybe my prostitute mom who died of AIDS in the 80s, but I’m not one of those damaged victim losers who hold grudges and who blames their miserable life, their unhappiness, their terrible choices on other people, like parents, exes or trauma….I hold no real grudges because I am too fucking lazy and the fact that a prostitute mom did not kill me off is actually a win, a huge positive thing for society as a whole because I get to update this site in what will be 20 fucking years this November…I started it in 2004. Shocking. Miserable but also pretty hilarious, the longest running troll I’ve ever committed to and it’s allowed me to meet all of you.

Anyway, since I love Mexican women, I feel compelled to post content from the famous Mexican women, like Eva Longoria who is arguably the most OVERRATED Mexican woman, one I assume barely even speaks Mexican because as a first generation she shunned her amazing Mexican culture to be the whitest of white gringo fucks at the mall plotting her takeover of Hollywood that would DEFINITELY include exploiting being a marginalized Mexican women, even though she likely employs marginalized Mexican maids for her LA house just to assert her dominance like humping dog at the dog park.

I guess what I am saying is that my love for Mexican women runs deep, but some don’t quite make the cut when they’ve shunned Mexico unless it’s beneficial for their bullshit. Eva Longoria is the worst.

She’s in a bathing suit though, so tits in a bathing suit, not quite the taco we’d want to eat, but it’s something for the brainwashed Longoria fans.

JOIN THE NEWSLETTER YOU ASSHOLES!

Posted in:Eva Longoria

2023

06

Sep

Eva Longoria Swimsuit of the Day

As someone who didn’t give a fuck about Eva Longoria, because I am a self hating Mexican and like my black manager at the grocery store, can’t stand seeing one of my own whoring herself out to the Gringo, or in Longoria’s case selling out her culture to pretend to be a tanned Gringo, until realizing that exploiting her culture is more than just hiring a Mexican gardener or maid, but something you can do in making movies, story telling, selling tequila, Mexico is a hot ticket item and the bitch who turned her back to Mexico will be the first to hop on it.

Yeah, my black manager would turn his back to any black strippers in the stripclub he paid for us to attend with money he embezzled from the grocery store….literally turn the chair on pervert around to stare at the wall because he refused to accept a black goddess doing that low level shit, which in that era was frowned upon and not something celebs do on the internet for stupid money cuz they are whores…

So as someone who didn’t find Longoria hot or interesting, despite the international fame she’s received, the 45 year old photoshopped version isn’t really something I’m jerking off to, but it’s here, it’s queer, get used to it.

JOIN THE NEWSLETTER YOU ASSHOLES!

Posted in:Eva Longoria|Eva Longoria

2023

09

Aug

Eva Longoria Beach Body of the Day

Eva Longoria, the very rich from some dumb show, producer and director, who owns her own Tequila brand because she’s not done exploiting Mexicans since Mexico is her heritage that she is likely totally disconnected from….was never someone I bought into or appreciated when she was getting all her hype…

But now that she’s a dinosaur with international fame, hustling her wares in slutty bikinis, I find her a little more appealing…you know, because I like whores or when women reduce themselves to their half naked bodies, even when they are old and clearly have had work down while giving the illusion they haven’t, because they are actors and as actors they can’t rot like the normies, even though they are still rotten like the normies, you just can’t see it as clearly because they have a fresh coat of paint over that mouldy ass bathroom of a cunt…

JOIN THE NEWSLETTER YOU ASSHOLES!

Posted in:Eva Longoria|Eva Longoria

2023

24

Jul

Eva Longoria Cleavage of the Day

Eva Longoria is a pretty old bitch who for whatever reason was way overpaid, and became way too fucking famous from a shitty fucking show like the Desperate Housewives show she was on, where she played the Mexican Sugar Baby with the rich husband to offset the ugliness that was Teri Hatcher…I don’t know why I’ve always hated her, but I have.

Anyway, I always felt she was a fake Mexican, a first generation who was so disconnected to being Mexican, raised white and the minute she made it in America, she’d hire Mexicans to do her yardwork, allowing her to feel like top dog, near white Mexican, because she was rich.

I don’t know how accurate that is, but after seeing her directorial debut about the Flaming hot Cheetos janitor, it’s safe to say she’s so disconnected from the Mexican people, that her using Mexican slang throughout the series, basically reduced the Mexican characters to being as stereotypical as you’d expect a white person making a movie about Mexicans to do….BECAUSE she doesn’t actually know Mexicans bro, she’s just happens to be Mexican culturally…..

The point of the story is Mexico is amazing, Mexicans are amazing, and Eva Longoria is garbage, even with her tits out while pushing her Tequila brand because she’s a fucking APPROPRIATING CULTURE VULTURE who can get away with it like Drake, or other fake fucks that get a pass because of the CUM they were made from.

Eva Longoria’s Fat Burrito Eating Ass in a Thong Suit Despite being 100 Years Old was also part of the trip:

JOIN THE NEWSLETTER YOU ASSHOLES!

Posted in:Eva Longoria|Eva Longoria

2023

16

Jun

Eva Longoria Gets Rubbed Down by The President of the Day

I saw some story about how Eva Longoria was hosting a movie night at the White House, which is almost as weird of a thing to do at the White House as inviting topless trannies to dance around with the commander in chief, but these are weird modern times, and that’s just how thing work out.

I was wondering if the screening was a paid ad by the movie company, you know part their marketing initiatives, because the movie “Flamin’ Hot” about the guy who created the Flaming Hot Cheetos flavor, who it was probably stolen from as he was a low level worker, but I don’t actually care to find out what the real story is because it’s fucking Cheetos man….who fucking cares…

So the White House isn’t screening any historical movie, any WAR movie, and America is amazing, look at what we’ve done movie…but rather Eva Longoria directed Cheetos smut…it’s fucking odd…..

Then I realized, “how did Longoria get famous anyway”, I know the official story is that she was born in Texas, first generation but couldn’t that be faked, and couldn’t she actually be one of the human trafficked kids who they just allowed into Hollywood based on good dick sucking behavior? I mean the elites can’t KILL every kid they traffic, can they? Some must end up somewhere, doing some work as the mind controlled slaves they’ve been abused into being….but that’s probably all just CONSPIRACY.

Well, there’s a clip circulating of Longoria and the President from the event, which could definitely be AI from the ALT RIGHT to push some agendas they push, or it could in fact be real, where they CLEARLY seem to know each other well.

You gotta give it to the President, if Longoria is that close to you and you don’t cop a feel or do an accidental RUB down, you’re kinda missing the point…and it’s that GRAB THEM BY THE BALLS attitude that allows you to lead the FREE world into the greatness he’s led you into.

I’m Canadian, so our dude’s rubbing down Drag Queens not top stars dudes jerk off to, so America remains more masculine to us cucks….

She seems to have liked the presidential rub down, some JFk / Marilyn Monroe shit right here? Right?!

Posted in:Eva Longoria

2022

13

Sep

Eva Longoria Side Tit of the Day

This is from September 5th, so I may have already posted it, you know, all these clickbating celebs trying to compete with the influencers in the most desperate ways is hilarious, since there was a time when celebrities were kept at an arm’s length from you, their personal lives secret, the allure of celebrity compelling because it was a limited club, and we only got what they fed us!

Now these aged out bitches who shouldn’t even know what the internet or social media is based on their age alone, but also based on their celebrity alone, are posting thirst trap pics in their mid 40s to get jerked off to, or to show off that they do fitness!

They are rich, they are working, this Mexican has a Tequila brand, yet here she is with a “look at me, you’d like to fuck me, but you never will since I’m famous”..

So they all have the same shitty “I am a celebrity, thus better than you” ego, but they also post low hanging fruit safe for work smut like they’re an 18 year old about to launch an Onlyfans because working is for suckers!

It’s a weird dynamic, but I’ve hated Eva Longoria pretty much since she became famous as a race baiter, who is Mexican, but who seems like she uses that to get ahead and that’s just trash!

JOIN THE NEWSLETTER YOU ASSHOLES!

Posted in:Eva Longoria

2022

22

Aug

Eva Longoria Wet Bikini of the Day

Eva Longoria is another aged out talent that was marketed as a babe about 20 years ago, who has found fitness, starving herself, some health and wellness tactics, some non-invasive procedures, I mean they’re rich as shit, they can fake being hot like strippers do…..only far more high end, I mean you realize she has an IMDB page right.

So yeah, despite the money, the fame, the connections, a production company that gets her paid on a series of shows, a booze company, all her other investments, she’s still reducing herself into a bikini body for the other old ladies to look up to her, to follow her lead in hopes that they’ll look like her with their Walmart trailer park budget, good luck……save the vampires that don’t age to the 50+ year old geriatric, drug store discount celebs who won’t give up as they do young girl tactics of THIRST TRAPPING!

JOIN THE NEWSLETTER YOU ASSHOLES!

Posted in:Eva Longoria

2022

19

Aug

Eva Longoria Bikini Body of the Day

I see the comments the thirsty fans of these old bitches who still produce half naked smut on social media in efforts to compete with the young babes of instagram who built their audience by being slutty on instagram.

It’s one of those celebs know they have influence, so it’s an easy fucking play to do the whole tits get hits, since a million people will like a pic of their smoothie on a tuesday without any of the sleaze..

It’s also one of those celebs love having all the attention and see nobodies getting famous organically, in ways they can’t control, so they have to follow their lead to solidify their spot at the top of the food chain.

It’s also one of those celebs need a social media presence as a promotional vehicle for any projects they do, so they can negotiate more money from investors, producers, brands or partners, even though they already get paid stupidly, it’s an add on.

So it’s a keep relevant, get paid, do the basic shit dumb hot chicks have figured out, because tits get hits……..and instad of people saying “Bitch you old, put some damn clothes on”, we get “fierce”, “amazing”, “sit on my face”, “you’re perfect”, “Linda”, “SHOW ME BOBS DESI”, you get what I am saying, just a collective dick suck like she’s giving you the world, by posting a bikini pic, only the wrong dick’s being sucks, since it’s sucking Longoria’s long whore dick.

Do we care why they do it, not really, old lady bikini is still worth looking at, especially since Longoria’s been working out, starving herself, putting that money to use, with non-surgical procedures to have that real life IG filters….looking better than she has in years,..but it’s a thirst trap, and at her level, she should do better.

I also can’t stand Eva Longoria, maybe like my old boss who was black and used to take us to the strip club with money he was stealing from our job, who would literally turn his seat around when the black strippers would come on stage because he felt they were coping out, selling out, doing what society expected of them, while he’d jerk off on the faces of the white strippers in the booth, cuz they were french Canadian and appreciated the extra 50 bucks he’d pay them…oh to be rich.

JOIN THE NEWSLETTER YOU ASSHOLES!

Posted in:Eva Longoria|Eva Longoria

2022

09

Aug

Eva Longoria Dresses like She’s 14 of the Day

Must be feeling fit, showing off like

45 year old bored bitch who has been watching too much instagram and doing her best impression of it to try to matter, exist or still be seen as hot amongst the younger generation of “Fuck the going to hollywood to be famous, I’ll just sell sex tapes and make more than these celebrity bitches”..

I mean she is an actor and social media is their enemy, or new hustle, but maybe this is her version of method acting, you know one you didn’t get a full taste of when she was a glorified soap star, which is a glorified porn star, back on the Housewives show that made her matter.

She’s obviously more about her body than her face, since she’s basically erased her face in some of these strategic marketing selfies, typical old, near or post menopausal bitches holding onto the dream.

I see women like this everywhere, they have kids they dress like, compete with and try to out-slut.

I guess narcissism never expires, doesn’t have an age limit, can go on forever, even when the pussy of said narcissist fully rots……..I mean you can practically smell her old musky musty ass twat through the computer and it sure don’t smell as delicious as the chorizo tacos I just ate for lunch….and no, I didn’t make a mexican taco joke about a Mexican’s taco intentionally, but I guess I just did…….thank god it wasn’t funny, so no on will notice….but everyone will notice Longoria’s midlife crisis, or three quarter life crisis if she’s vaccinated, but they won’t say “why is this old bitch trying so hard, like an old guy trying to play pick up basketball with the kids, only to die of a heart attack, but in outfits”..they will say “she’s fierce”……..weird world.

Posted in:Eva Longoria