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Archive for the Fergie Category

2009

26

Mar

Fergie’s Legs Go on a Fitness Hike of the Day

Fergie’s not the rock hard body she used to be. I call this the marriage workout. She can finally kick back and take it easy and tell her husband that she was out exercising, meanwhile she’s just planning on gaining enough weight for her husband to regret ever marrying her.

Maybe this low intensity working out, is because her heart is so wrecked from her meth addiction, but I have a feeling that whole meth addiction was bullshit, because I know meth addicts and the last thing I expect out of them is a successful music career and happy, rich, full life, I just expect the scabs and premature death. Maybe Fergie knew someone who did meth and she smoked a hit once but didn’t inhale, but no meth addicts succeed, no matter how many days they stay up jacked and ready to work….because their idea of work is painting their one room apartment black and similar insanity.

Either way, she doesn’t look hot, but she’s hotter than my wife, so I’ll post it.

Posted in:Fergie|Hike|Legs|Workout

2009

20

Mar

Fergie and Her Shorts of the Day

Fergie got married and now she’s a whole new person. She’s got different color hair, she dresses pretty conservative like a mom and I am not just saying that because her uterus seems to be busting out of the front of her shorts.

To think that a girl who used to miss her period for months at a time because of all the hard drug use, partying, malnourishment and random sex with HPV when she fell from her Disney channel big break, could manage to salvage the broken pieces and put it all together.

Maybe there’s hope for all of us. Fergie is inspiring.

Posted in:Fergie|Legs|Married|Shorts

2009

06

Mar

Fergie’s got a Pot Belly for Mac of the Day

Typical, Fergie quits meth and doesn’t get fat, you know she gets her shit together, gets fit, gets out of debt, launches a successful career and uses the meth card as a lesson to us all that if you do meth, you will succeed, but the second bitch gets married she lets it all go and gets fat.

Now I don’t know if she’s pregnant or if this is just an early case of “I can’t believe you are the woman I married”, but since I feel like the meth broke her uterus, I’m going to go with that she’s just gettin’ fat and fat people disgust me. Just about a minute ago I was taking a shit, and sure I hate when people talk about shitting, it’s all way too frat boy for me, but I looked down and saw what I’ve done to myself and was ashamed and disgusted, and I don’t even give a shit about myself, so when I see sluts I would have fucked at one point in time, following in my footsteps, I just can’t help but hate them.

Posted in:Fergie|Pot Belly|Pregnant

2009

17

Feb

Fergie’s Still in a Green Bikini of the Day

I got into conversation with some 18 year old hot chick the other day. She was on the bus reading some US Weekly or InStyle magazine, because in case you didn’t know, 18 year old girls are hooked on this celebrity scandal bullshit, and she was talking to her friend about what the fuck is going on in Josh Duhamel’s mind for marrying Fergie. She couldn’t get why a guy so good lookin would marry a girl so hard who really has nothing hot about her. I chimed in and said because he’s a faggot, loves cock in his mouth and can’t let the world know, so he settled for the closest thing he could find. They laughed awkwardly and changed seats.

The truth is that maybe they are in love, hot girls date ugly guys all the fucking time, maybe Fergie gives the meanest blowjob, you know cuz having been born with a dick she apparently has a first hand knowledge of how to work one.

Sure the tranny shit’s old, but she looks like this bodybuilder stripper who used to do chin ups on stage who I always got lap dances from because no one else wanted her and I can never turn down a deal, even if it makes me question my sexuality, but maybe she’s a nice girl.

Here she is in the green bikini that has been milked pretty hard this week. Something, Josh Duhamel knows all too much about.

Posted in:Bikini|Fergie|Green

2009

16

Feb

Fergie in Her Bikini on Vacation and in Love of the Day

Here are some more pictures of Fergie on vacation in her bikini. I am going to go get drunk so you should just try to write your own post in your head while jerking off, or doing whatever you do to bikini pics of Fergie. I hear playing some of her music while opening these pictures makes the whole experience all the more pathetic, a feeling you’re probably used to every time you cum….and by you I mean…me.

Posted in:Bikini|Fergie|Vacation

2009

16

Feb

Fergie is On Valentine’s Day Vacation of the Day

Looks like Fergie went of vacation in some other country for Valentine’s Day shit because he’s in love. I know, it was just a couple years ago that the only love in her life was Crystal Meth before he broke her heart and left her face battered.

I guess she feels like her life isn’t enough of a vacation. I am not judging, because if I had the money I’d be on the beach laying in the sun and creeping on unsuspecting sluts too, I’d even encourage the locals to call me something like “Senor Sticks His Dick in Anything that Shows Up on the Beach and Gets too Sun Stroked to Resist” but since I am an asshole, I wouldn’t have a social responsibility to my fans to spend my money during the recession locally by vacationing within the country, not that I have fans, but you get what I’m saying, this $20,000 or more could have really helped some bed and breakfast in Vermont that is about to go bankrupt, but I guess in from her celebrity perch, she just doesn’t care about the people who buy her shit, but she does care about treating her leather face the way it deserves to be treated, like a fuckin’ saddle.

Posted in:Fergie|Vacation

2008

13

Oct

The Meth Catches Up With Fergie of the Day

Fergie is looking old and haggard a little pre-maturely and it’s all thanks to meth addiction and not a math addiction, because Fergie doesn’t know how to count.

Either way, we all know that despite how bad drugs are for us and how they make our skin fall off our faces, they are a hell of a lot of fun and in Fergie’s defense, she’s managed to get out of it and make all kinds of money before the shit showed up on her hardened face. So even if she did bow down because none of us want to bend her over our stained couches and eat her stained asshole for days, she’s pretty much set for life and can head back to the pipe to deal with the loss that was people jerking off to her when performing, and the real tragedy is that she will never end up on the stripper circuit where her performances would be a hit and where real addicts belong because she made it to the big screen, when it should have been left on the street corner, if you know what I mean. Because I don’t.

Posted in:Fergie|Haggard|Meth|old

2008

13

Aug

Fergie’s Ass in Some Military Romper of the Day

I was looking at these Fergie Military uniform pictures and was thinking going to war and fighting for your country wouldn’t be so bad, you get to kill a race of people you were raised to hate because they flew planes into your buildings, you get to be in the hot weather all the fuckin’ time, you don’t have to worry about making yourself dinner and life would pretty much be like a college spring break party with booze, opiates and a bunch of buddies and then you get to come back to base to deal with your female colleagues dressed like this, the kind of outfit you’d expect on a creative stripper who is tired of the whole school girl thing and onto more socially relevant themes like War, but then I remembered what bitches in the Army look like and the only thing I’d want for them is to put on some more clothes to cover those lesbian bodies, and to be put on the front line like they were Black in WWII and Vietnam, because let’s face it, the world needs less penis hating, masculine, empowered dykes who know hand to hand combat.

Either way, I don’t mind when Fergie and her masculine features do it, because she’s still got a body and ex-meth addict face that brings back great memories of cheap back alley blowjobs…

Either way, she’s dressed like a two year old and doesn’t look like one because she’s had too much cock, but I’d still watch her crawl around like one. There’s nothing like an outfit that touches pussy, ass and tits at the same time. It’s some kind of magical even when Fergie’s penis gets in the way.

Posted in:Ass|Fergie|Legs

2008

01

Aug

Fergie in Leather Pants for Slash’s Birthday a Couple Weeks Ago of the Day


Here are some pictures of Fergie sweating as she celebrates Slash’s birthday by rockin’ leather pants and pretending she’s a fucking rockstar. I heard that these are a couple of weeks old and figured since I am old and tired and that I don’t really give a fuck about celebrities and what they are up to, it was only fitting to throw these up.

Now I don’t find Fergie hot, and I don’t really think seeing her sweating is something that would turn anyone on and if anything is kinda disgusting because I am old school and believe that when a woman sweats she’s a fucking sloppy pig and not someone I’d want to get naked. I remember when I used to steal clothes from the Laundromat, there was this really amazingly hot girl who I’d prey on because she’d go in, drop off her shit then fuck off for an hour, giving me a lot of time to get down to business. I remember taking some lacey shirt that I thought would feel amazing against my balls, and when I got into the bathroom, I noticed these yellow fuckin’ stains on the arm pitts, shit threw off my game, but I still managed to cum all over it and throw it back into the dryer before she got back to pick it up. Yeah, my life is pretty sad.

Posted in:Fergie|Leather Pants|Slash

2008

21

Jul

Fergie’s Ass in Shorts of the Day

I am hurting today because the weekend was involved a lot of drinking, drunk driving and passing out in beds with my stepdaughter and her friends, fondeling one of them and getting me in trouble. I do remember that through the messiness that is my life, I had a conversation about Fergie with a Fergie hater. I had her back, not because I think she’s hot, but because I know she’s hotter than anyone you’ve ever fucked and because she was the ploy of the Black Eyed Peas to make a ton of fucking money, because before she was in the picture, they were just a second rate hip hop dance act that were self promoting themselves so hard that they sat outside a club in Montreal about 4 years ago handing out stickers for their new album, the one before Fergie blew them up. So you can look at her, dis her for being muscular and rough lookin, but all I see is ta prized meth addicted pussy with dollar signs for an ass and here it is dancing on stage in shorts.

Posted in:Ass|Fergie

2008

16

Jun

Fergie Takes a Jog of the Day

Fergie is known for being fit and having a tight body, a body so ripped it looks like it may have a pair of little steroid testicles tucked between her legs. I was actually convinced I met Fergie last night at a bar until I realized that I was actually talking to some dude who happened to be a mixed martial arts fighter and went on about how badly he likes breaking bones, while wearing some kind of faggy cut off shirt showing off her “pythons”.

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Posted in:Fergie|Jog

2008

20

May

Fergie Does it All For the Kids of the Today Show of the Day

Fergie performed on the Today Show today in a pair of leather pants. She ended up grinding the stage, suggestively went down on her guitar player, did a booty shake and the whole performance looked like watching a ghetto stripshow in too many clothes. I guess she learnt this shit when she was a meth addict and needed to make some extra money at stag parties, you know dudes would pay top dollar to see any Disney slut all jacked on drugs and getting naked in their hotel suite.

The sex on stage wasn’t what made Fergie’s performance funny, the fact that she was performing for a group of middle school kids who were probably on their grad trip to NYC is what made it funny. Shit’s on Daytime TV and it looks more like I am watching a behind the scenes DVD on her life at Disney when dirty old men producers made her and her co-star Mika get it on in his office in exchange for promises of renewing that shit another year.

I am not a parent and I figure that having my 10 year old daughter doing this shit in the park with her friends is a bad thing. I went to a concert twice last year, one was a free thing in a park and the other was a free ticket to Gwen Stefani and Akon and at both shows, there were kids around me grinding up against each other like they were fucking and it made me uncomfortable, especially at the Akon show when he sang his “I wanna Fuck You” song and they were singing along, but the creepy dude in the trench coat and sweat pants behind me seemed to like it enough to start jerking off to the scene before security took him out. So at least one person approves and I guess it’s never too early to learn about the birds and the bees, maybe in 8 years you’ll be getting down to some of these girls and they’ll be like slamming a 35 year old divorcee with a horny vagina and with years of fucking experience, because they all lost their virginity at 12 and their anal virginity at 12 and a half. It’s a new scary generation and I am happy that I am not a father because even the Today Show is pornographic.

Here are the videos of her in action.

Posted in:Fergie|Today Show

2008

05

May

Fergie Ass Performing of the Day

Here are some pictures of Fergie performing with her big ass. I kinda miss the crystal meth days when she was picking her scabs off her arms and eating them in hopes of getting a fix and crawling through the gutter collecting cans to take back to the grocery store for money for her next fix. It’s one of those success stories where you go to the people from the past and say “look at me now motherfuckers” as she cruises by in her Bentley, only in this case everyone from her past is dead because meth is just that good.

Posted in:Ass|Fergie

2008

22

Apr

Fergie is in a Bikini Again of the Day

I think it’s great that Fergie was able to pull her vagina out of the gutter, get off drugs, get out of debt and now have the money to buy anything she wants but doesn’t have to buy because companies are throwing the shit at her for free. It’s always been one of life’s weird dynamics, where companies want celebrities to promote their brands so they give them tons of product even though they can afford the shit while poor people they are marketing their shit too have to work their asses off for a month just to be able to afford a pair of fuckin’ sneakers they want. I guess it doesn’t matter, but is part of the reason why I’ve decided to make myself famous.

The bad news for Fergie is that despite her rise to the top, she forgot her face in the gutter and looks about 15 years older than she is. She’s like one of those kids I saw on Maury who had that disease where they age at hyperspeed and die of old age by the time they are 5. Her fake fiance will be in for an interesting surprise in a couple of years when he’s stuck dealing with a bitch who looks 75, and for his sake I just hope her pussy isn’t on the same course, because despite how sexy some 75 year olds are, their vaginas are pretty fuckin’ disgusting and smell like moth balls. At least that’s the story I heard…..

Posted in:Bikini|Fergie

2008

21

Apr

Fergie Bikini Pictures of the Day

I met a girl where I meet all the girls I know and that’s at the stripclub this weekend. Strippers always act like they are celebrities, or unattainable, or more important than they are and try their best to avoid having to talk to me and when they do they try to make me feel like I’m lucky to be talking to them, but the truth is that it’s one of the only places where 10 dollars puts that ego aside and leads to me grabbing their tits within about a minute of approaching them. The are just high volume shitty prostitutes that try to convince themselves that they are celebrities and I like to single out the one with the most attitude to use.

Either way, this weekend, the stripper was some fitness bitch who was more acrobatic than the other lazy sluts. She was bouncing off the walls, flipping herself in all ways possible and knew how to work the crowd because she spread her ass apart on stage like it was a cheap porno shoot. She had a hard face from years of smoking, drinking and drugs and her body was fuckin’ tight and she was doing it all to a Fergie song and I thought that I just witnessed some kind of ironic moment, but don’t know what the word ironic means so can’t be too sure….

Here’s Fergie in a bikini from this past weekend with her tight body and hard face….unfortunately she’s not spreading her ass like my Fergie was, but I guess this is as close as she gets….since she’s famous and doesn’t need to do it to pay her rent which is really too bad because Fergie was a drug addicted child star who burnt through all her money and could have either gone deeper into the gutter, but somehow managed to get out that makes us the real losers in this whole recovery shit…

Posted in:Ass|Bikini|Fergie|Tits