The Elle Style Awards were last night and I wasn’t invited. I know. I am so offended. You’d think I’d be the first on that guest list. I don’t know what went wrong, but think you should all send Elle emails demanding my presence at the next one…mainly cuz these sweat pants in all their two sizes too small glory are fucking Fashion….
Here are a handful of bitches who were invited…cuz clearly they are more important than me, cuz not only are they on TV and in the tabloids, rich and famous but mainly cuz they have vaginas….and vagina is all it takes..
Cheryl Cole could be shitting and I’d still wanna lick her asshole….
Emma Watson cuz You’re All Nerds and Appreciate this Shit
Geri Halliwell cuz her Dress Is 50% see thru, just the wrong 50%
Blake Lively Making Her Squinty Eyed Faces to Hide her Horrible Aging….