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Archive for the Gisele Bundchen Category

2009

25

Sep

Gisele is Pregnant of the Day

I guess these pictures prove that all those theories of this hard faced supermodel actually being a dude wrong. I would like to defend my stance for a minute, because I am one of the many who said that shit on the regular, because I was trying to fit in. The truth is that she was from Brazil and I know people who have gone down to Brazil and who claim the trannies are substantially better lookin’ than the regular women, leaving a whole lot of mystery and a whole lot of posibility, but logically, I knew that if she was actually born a dude, Victoria’s Secret would have dealt with that after kidnapping her and bringing her to America, you know with some bootleg surgery, but logically, why would they bother when they could just kidnap an actual girl from the third world who they don’t have to waste all that time, energy, money and recovery time on just to give her ladyparts.

All this to say, that I obviously knew Gisele wasn’t a dude, I actually found her hot at least once 10 years ago, but the dude angle made for easy jokes, but now I’m left with nothing but the hope that this is just some movie-magic like Lohan’s Labor Pains, or Schwartzneger’s Junior. You know fake pregnancy prosthtic to keep the lie alive, cuz until I see the birthing video, she’s got Balls to me…..

Pics via Fame

Posted in:Gisele Bundchen|Pregnant

2009

10

Jun

Gisele’s Naked Body Tattooed in a Magazine of the Day

The only thing more disgusting than one of those inked up alternative models naked and pierced and tattooed for guys who have no standards because those whores have no business being naked, but only have business being whores, because whores don’t have to be hot, they just have to get naked for sites like suicide girls, is supermodels who look like dudes naked and pretending to be tattooed.

Posted in:Gisele Bundchen|Naked|Tattoo

2009

31

Mar

Gisele’s Long Legs and Man Ass of the Day

I don’t know why everyone hates on Gisele for being a man, sure she may have a hard face, but would a man really wear lady jeans, I don’t think so. And would a man really marry some pro football player, everyone knows football players are straight as a fuckin’ arrow. They shower together and shove broomsticks in each other’s asses because they’re just that straight.

Here are her legs.

Posted in:Ass|Gisele Bundchen|Legs

2009

16

Mar

Gisele’s Married Nipple Does Brazil of the Day

You know it takes a certian guy to marry Gisele. You know, the kind of guy who lost his viriginity to his college football team during some kind of initiation, the kind of guy who can’t shower without met to feel really clean, you know a jock who likes his cock surrounded and compared to other cock because it brings him and his bros closer together.

Here is the happy couple in Brazil…you know…introducing Brady to real live chicks with dicks…not just chicks who look like they have dicks who he married, something the boys back home will never believe exist…you know “it’s like what you guys do to me in the shower after we win or lose or finish practice – only its got tits and HIV”….

Posted in:Gisele Bundchen|Married|Nipple

2009

09

Mar

Gisele’s Got the Discount Brazilian Tranny Whore Lip of the Day

If you read this site you know I like whores. I don’t just mean drunken party girls you’d call a whore. Or girls who try to sleep their way to the top or who use their bodies for their personal gain, but actual drug addicted gutter-rat shit you find in the dirtiest part of town, willing to do the dirtiest things you want done to on the cheap, because you have to settle for doing it in a park with someone barely human, instead of the whole high class, take regular showes and use condom bullshit you get with overpriced escorts.

I am talking raw, real, authentic hookin’ at it’s fucking best, the way it was meant to be, with crack addiction and no self respect because of years of being abused and abusing themselves, the kind of whore who has shit stains on her pants and a who re-uses tampons when she gets her period, which is rare since she’s so malnourished.

That said, one of the most exciting things that can happen when trying to find a whore to get you off, is for her to have a dirty herpe lip because you can really negotiate the already reasonable price down, since they can’t hide their battle wounds.

Posted in:Brazil|Gisele Bundchen|Herpes

2009

03

Mar

Gisele and Her Hard Nipples in Short Shorts of the Day

The rumor is that Tom Brady and Gisele had a secret wedding and I don’t really know why anyone really cares, I have no idea why them being married will have any real impact on anyone’s life, it’s not like we’re friends with the couple and they went off to Vegas or Mexico and came back hitched, I mean they are just people we see on TV and in magazines and shit and aren’t even real, so when I saw the story everywhere, I couldn’t help but think anyone who would talk about this in their everyday life, was seriously lacking substance and a life of their own, so to honor that opinion I wasn’t going to write about it, but then bitch goes out in short shorts with hard nipples and I am forced to, I am a weak man.

Yeah, I know what you’re thinking, she’s got a dick, from the neck up she looks like Fabio or Sean Penn in Fastimes, you know hard man features and a pointy scary face, but that body is pretty alright, the kind you’d fuck, even if it was pre-op.

Posted in:Gisele Bundchen|Hard Nipples|Legs|Shorts

2008

27

Oct

Kelly Ripa and Gisele Sing Some Karaoke of the Day

Here’s a video of Gisele showing off her bass singing skills like she was Lance Bass after he his puberty but I was too lazy to find the actual video of and was stuck with more Kelly Ripa stealing the spotlight because girls are jealous and catty and she’s trying to wants the spotlight on her and not on the leather pants wearing model legs. I think the highlight of the clip is the way she introduces “Bon Jovi”, it sounds a hell of a lot like “Blow Job”, maybe it’s a freudian slip because she’s sitting there feeling like getting her dick sucked, but it’s probably just the language barrier, either way, it’s worth watching, otherwise I wouldn’t be posting it. Asshole.

Posted in:Gisele Bundchen|Karaoke|Kelly Ripa

2008

23

Apr

Gisele Bundchen’s Tit in DT Magazine

I just wrote about how Alessandra Ambrosio being a pregnant Brazilian with big pregnant lady tits is nothing to get off to, but Brazilian tranny porn is. Part of me hates saying that this slut Gisele is a tranny because everyone says that shit all the time and it’s repetitive, but the truth is that no one I know finds her hot and like to reference Leonardo DiCaprio’s time with her as an experimental time in his life. I also like to say that she reminds Tom Brady of the those college football initiation days, when he would shove a broom stick up his ass while jerking off for his teammates before showering in their cum in the lockerroom before washing up together and goin’ out for a beer to fuck bitches together….Either way, this tranny has a tit and it’s distracting us from her busted up mug, so enjoy it, cuz it’s not gay if she looks like a girl, at least that’s what everyone I know who’s been sucked off by trannies have always said to me and I believe them….because they have no reason to lie to me, it’s like once you openly tell someone you’ve got off to a tranny you’ve pretty much divulged your deepest darkest secret and there’s little worse than that…I don’t know what I am talking about but I do hate you…and if that doesn’t make this post better…I don’t know what does.

Posted in:Gisele Bundchen|Photoshoot|Tits

2008

04

Apr

Gisele’s Ass in Some Jeans of the Day

Nothing says creepy pervert like standing across the street from a girl and watching her either put things in or take things out of her car in hopes to get a good look of her ass, except for maybe following a chick from the bar home and climbing her fire escape to watch her either drunken masturbate or have a booty call while you sit there jerking off like you’re watching some kind of live-action porn. It’s on the same level as watching a girl shopping at the mall and seeing her reach down for the perfect bikini or watching her model it for her friend before buying the perfect one. It’s like peaking into the curtain-doored changing rooms to watch them change without getting caught or even like hanging out at the bottom of open-backed stairs and watching girl walk up and down the stairs.

These are some pictures of GIsele putting things in or taking things out of her car and you can see the top strap of her panties, and those panties are actually touching her pussy,which must be pretty exciting for someone who has never seen a vagina….but is probably not all that exciting for the rest of the world. I call it the process of desensitization, like when I used to get a boner holding hands with a chick or seeing her in a bra and now I can barely get hard for a hot girl on all fours with a finger on her clit, begging me to stick it in, but I still try and thats all the matters to me, even if it turns out to be the worst sex for her. Let’s face it, I am not trying to impress anyone.

Posted in:Ass|Gisele Bundchen|Jeans

2008

02

Apr

Gisele Bundchen Does Assless Pants of the Day

Looks like Gisele is working the next big Gay Pride Parade and these are pictures from the photoshoot to promote the big day. I always found her hard face a little manly, but had no idea that she was a lady boy from Brazil, despite being far too familiar with Brazilian lady boys but that’s a story I am planning on taking with me to the grave. I guess it’s good to see her breaking out of her shell and letting us all know about her alternative lifestyle by throwing on a pair of her friend who died of AIDS last year’s favorite pair of pants….living a lie is always a huge weight on your shoulders that often times needs to be broken down, despite how embarrassing it is for you and your family. I’m talking to you closet case.

Either way, if Gisele is your thing, here’s her ass in a pair of Gay Village special assless jeans that always throw me the fuck off when they walk by me on a big muscular dude in a leather vest, but may make you a little uncomfortable when you cum all over your lucky pair of underwear…weirdo.

Posted in:Ass|Assless|Gisele Bundchen|Pants

2007

23

Oct

I am – Gisele Bundchen’s Bikini Ass of the Day

gisele_bikini_ass_top.jpg

I like skinny chicks and I know that pisses off fat chicks, but it’s just the way it is. My theory is that I am fat enough for the two of us or maybe even fat enough for four of us and what it really comes down to is that the thought of two fat people banging disgusts me. I have been with fat girls and my vaginal penis just couldn’t make it’s way into all the right places, our stomachs or her fat ass kept getting in the fucking way, so god knows why the fuck I married a fat chick, because I hate them so fuckin’ much, but I guess I was lonely and found it comforting to have someone pay my rent for me.

Now here is the sequel to yesterday’s Gisele bikini pictures, where we get a solid look at her small, tight ass, and it may not make black people or white people who pretend to be black people excited, it works for me because bitch is skinny and that’s kinda my thing and as a follow up to yesterday’s question about whether she had a dick or not, it looks like she’s got some vagina definition, so either she’s legit or she’s just good at tucking things in and taping them down.


Related Posts:

Gisele’s Bikini Pictures from Yesterday

Gisele’s Mountain Bikini Thong
Adriana Lima at the Airport

Posted in:Ass|Bikini|Gisele Bundchen|Nipples|Unsorted|Vagina|Wedgie

2007

23

Oct

I am – Gisele Bundchen's Bikini Ass of the Day

gisele_bikini_ass_top.jpg

I like skinny chicks and I know that pisses off fat chicks, but it’s just the way it is. My theory is that I am fat enough for the two of us or maybe even fat enough for four of us and what it really comes down to is that the thought of two fat people banging disgusts me. I have been with fat girls and my vaginal penis just couldn’t make it’s way into all the right places, our stomachs or her fat ass kept getting in the fucking way, so god knows why the fuck I married a fat chick, because I hate them so fuckin’ much, but I guess I was lonely and found it comforting to have someone pay my rent for me.

Now here is the sequel to yesterday’s Gisele bikini pictures, where we get a solid look at her small, tight ass, and it may not make black people or white people who pretend to be black people excited, it works for me because bitch is skinny and that’s kinda my thing and as a follow up to yesterday’s question about whether she had a dick or not, it looks like she’s got some vagina definition, so either she’s legit or she’s just good at tucking things in and taping them down.


Related Posts:

Gisele’s Bikini Pictures from Yesterday

Gisele’s Mountain Bikini Thong
Adriana Lima at the Airport

Posted in:Ass|Bikini|Gisele Bundchen|Nipples|Unsorted|Vagina|Wedgie

2007

22

Oct

I am – Gisele Rocks a Bikini of the Day

gisele_bikini4.jpg

I thing I like about Gisele is the mystery of whether she has a vagina or not. Bitch is from Brazil and everyone I talk to who knows anything about Brazil say they have the hottest lady-boys in the world and that you can’t even tell the difference and when drunk and in Brazil, who needs to tell the difference, especially if AIDS is your thing.

I used to know this fag who didn’t know he was a fag but was obsessed with Tranny porn, he claimed it wasn’t gay because he was only into lady-boys slamming chicks and not dudes slammin’ lady-boys up their lady-boy asses, so he was convinced shit was less gay than watching straight porn because the dude looked like a chick and it was more like hybrid lesbian porn with some chick with dick shit instead of a strap on but still 2 sets of tits and 1 dick, instead of that faggot ass straight porn you watch, because I know you’re not actually getting off to the chick getting fucked but to the porn dick. Fag.

Either way, bitch has some serious legs, and I guess even if they lead to a fat cock, I’d still have no choice but to watch her jerk off on my fatty man tits, because I have a thing for models.


Related Posts:

Gisele’s Got Some Fuckign Legs
Live Bloggin The Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show
Gisele Mountain Biking
Adriana Lima Vs. Airport Security

Posted in:Bikini|Gisele Bundchen|Legs|Tits|Unsorted

2007

08

Oct

I am – Gisele Bundchen Goes Mountain Bikini of the Day

gisele_biking_top.jpg

I am a pervert and as a pervert I fucking love watching girls on bikes. It’s probably got something to do with them staying fit and fitness is like some kind of myth in my life as I watch my wife eat donuts while watching tv, so I think my love for bikes comes from the position a girl is in when she’s riding. You know all bent over ready to take it while the seat gets eaten up by their crotch and their asses just kinda stick out in a way that allows you to stare at them as they ride into the distance, because you know they are too busy watching for traffic, or catching their breath to turn back and catch you jerking off to them. I guess I also like the fact that their tits hang out but you can never get as good of a look because they’ll catch you, and when they do you gotta smile and ask if the seat feel good or if they’d rather replace it with your face.

The other day I was sitting on a bench and this hot chick rode past me in a mini skirt, and I saw pretty much everything she had to offer and it made me feel like I won the lottery, kinda like Gisele. Her thong may not be like winning the lottery unless that shit was left in your hotel room after slammin her, but that’ll never happen to you because just getting into Gisele’s pants is like winning the lottery, and since you’re a loser, winning’s never really been your thing.


Related Posts:

Gisels’ Legs are Amazing Pictures
Gisele, Lima and Kurkova Performing
Gisele on the Beach
Gisele Adjusting Her Tits

Posted in:Ass|Biking|Gisele Bundchen|Thong|Unsorted

2007

08

May

I am – Celebrities Showing Off Their Tits at the Metropolitan Museum of Art Gala of the Day

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I am all for girls rocking cleavage shirts because I am a pervert and this site has given me a keen eye for spotting nipple slips. I was standing outside a bar, hoping a drunk guy who came out for a cigarette and accidentally drop his wallet the other day, and a group of hot chicks walked out with low cut shirts on, I guess it’s in style to show off your rack and I am not really complaining. One of them conveniently dropped something and when she went to pick it up her shirt dropped and I saw full fucking massive tit, while the other guys next to me missed it. It reminded me of when I was 12 and my foster mother used to come give me talks about God before I went to bed. She’d be in her night gown while I’d be lying in bed. She’d bend over to tuck me in, full tit exposed and I’d totally get a boner and jerk off to it the second she walked out. I always got scared that God was watching me, then I realized that if he was, he was a total pedophile and I might as well give him a good performance, because let’s face it, if I get him to get off when I was 12 only good things would be coming to me….I was wrong…

I am guessing that these celebrities are thinking the same thing, they are advertising their tits at some exclusive black tie event I wasn’t invited to, so that people like us fall into their booby trap…get it..I am so witty and that is good enough for you to start your day to….you’re welcome…


Jessica Simpson May Be Busted But Her Tits are Fucking Huge


Lohan May Be Distracting Us From Her Cocaine Video, But At Least She’s Doing it Properly, this shit will even get Disney to Sign Her Again


Salma Hayek is Pregnant and Full of Milk and That’s Pretty Much What I Wish All My Diet Consisted Of…


Jennifer Garner is Post-Pregancy and Her Tits Have Dried Up, But I’d Still Try To Get the Last Drops Out of Her


Rose McGowan has Always Had Hot Tits


Christina Ricci May Look Old and Beat Up and Her Tits May Have Been Reduced But She’s Still Packin’ Heat.


Scarlett Johannson Still Has Tits and I am Still Lookin’ At Them


Julianne Moore is the First Fire Crotch I Ever Saw in a Movie and Will Always Hold a Warm Place in My Heart for Proving that Myth Isn’t a Myth….


Rosario Dawson’s Tits Look Small But Small Titis are Tits Too…


Juliette Lewis is a Crackhead and Crackheads Don’t Have Tits, But She’s Still Trying…


I Don’t Really Give a Fuck About Mischa Barton But Whatever This is Still Cleavage…


Alicia Keys Has a Hairy Chest, So I Don’t Know If She Counts, But Even Men With Tits Count in Your World, Cuz You Are Desperate…

A few new ones…

I think Ivanka Trump Looks Awesome….I’d wallet-fuck her…


Karolina Kurkova Models Bikinis and I like Bikinis, Especially when they are on me, I feel so pretty…


Gisele isn’t with Victoria’s Secret Anymore, She’s Not a Hot as She Used To Be, But She Has Done A Lot in Her Panties and That Pretty Much Redeems Her….

Posted in:Alicia Keys|Christina Ricci|cleavage|Gisele Bundchen|Ivanka Trump|Jennifer Garner|Jessica Simpson|Julianne Moore|Juliette Lewis|Karolina Kurkova|Lindsay Lohan|Mischa Barton|Rosario Dawson|Rose McGowan|Salma Hayek|Scarlett Johansson|Uncategorized|Unsorted