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Archive for the Gisele Bundchen Category

2010

14

May

Gisele’s Hot Mom Body of the Day

Fine. I’ll stop beating the dead horse with my dick. Gisele isn’t a tranny from Brazil. Tom Brady isn’t a faggot who joined football for sexual reasons. The baby wasn’t staged to kill the rumors cuz they are rich and powerful and can afford to manipulate the world with fake babies…..as long as she agrees to keep on putting out modeling pics like this…cuz dick or not…sometimes it’s ok to stop asking questions…and take things at face value…especially if face value looks like this and if we really need an expert opinion, I have no problem volunteering my mouth to explore the mangled mess in her panties, cuz cock or not, getting off to this is not homo…even if it’s smoke, mirrors, duct tape and photoshop…..good enough for me….and I’m sure it’s good enough for you too…you sick fuck

Posted in:Body|Gisele Bundchen

2010

13

May

Gisele and Tom Brady’s Public Gay Sex of the Day

I don’t know much about Brazilian tranny sex with closet case football players who only play the game cuz they love the locker room before and after the game and the only way to not get beat the fuck up is to be really good at your position, if you know what I mean….but I do know that it looks a hell of a lot like dude’s training for his lifeguard license or doing a CPR course or some shit, cuz this “PDA” looks more like “CPR” and the whole this is boring and almost unbelievable. I think this is just a continuation of the whole “Gisele is actually a woman” publicity stunt…but what it comes down to is who fuckin cares….

Pics via PacificCoastNews

Posted in:Gisele Bundchen|Public Sex|Tom Brady

2010

07

May

Gisele Uses Her Purse to Hide Her Penis of the Day

I’m not a cop, I’m not an FBI or CIA agent, I’m not even a recreational private investigator, I’m just a voyeur…a pretty fucking good voyeur with serious paranoid anxiety, especically since the handful of times I’ve been caught.

But based on my expert conspiracy theorist, crazy person opinion…Gisele is a man….You know one of those beautiful trannies from Brazil who you can’t tell are guys until you get their pants off after taking a blowjob from them under the boardwalk of Rio and you aren’t even considered gay when you fuck them up the ass after finding out they don’t have a pussy, because hormonally they are 85% where they need to be…..

I’m convinced Victoria’s Secret fired her cuz we were onto her and they didn’t want further investigation going into the shit. I’m convinced Leonardo DiCaprio dated her when he was experimenting with homosexuality as most actors are in love with themselves and he thought all that jerking off in front of the mirror meant more than meets the eye. Tom Brady married her because he could get away with all his locker room fantasies without being known as the Quarterback who fucks dudes, but as the one who marries models, which works out better during the new teammate initation gangbangs when the team tells each other what they are doing isn’t gay. I’m convinced her pregnancy was staged and a mechanism to trick people cuz she and her man have got a career and image to maintain…..and now she’s got her purse placed in front of her cock cuz she didn’t have time to strap down and was stuck in a pair of tight pants….

Pics via Fame

Posted in:Gisele Bundchen|Tranny

2010

20

Apr

Gisele Bundchen Does the Gym of the Day

Here are some pictures of “Mom” Gisele Bundchen heading to the gym…..I’m still not covinced that she is an actual woman…and have a feeling the pregnancy was just a PR stunt to try to spin rumors that she was born a man.

Brazil is very tranny friendly, so tranny friendly that if you go there, you usually can’t tell the difference between real woman and man dressed like a woman or man who got cheap Brazilian surgery to become a woman.

She has very very hard features and before getting fired from Victoria’s Secret, she was getting a ton of negative press ripping into her for having a cock, leading to her getting fired from a company who NEVER fires any model and pretty much sign them for life….

There’s something going on here, I just don’t know what it is, and I wouldn’t mind using my dick and tongue to explore how authentic her pussy actually is, cuz I know I’d be able to feel and taste the difference between real vagina and inside-out scrotum….I don’t feel the need to go into why I know that I can feel the differnce…I just know I can and that’s all that matters…

Here is some Gisele heading to the gym.

Pics via Bauer

Posted in:Gisele Bundchen|Gym|Off-Duty Model

2010

18

Mar

Gisele’s Mom Tits of the Day

The rumor is that Gisele is working off her new baby weight and showing off her milk-filled tits, but she’s not fooling any of us…we all know she’s actually a dude they found in a small brazilian town…because men make better bikini models since they don’t get their periods…I mean Brazil is known for their trannies being very believable, so where the fuck else would the gangsters at Victoria’s Secret go to kidnap a motherfucker to work their asses off for them in exchange for their family’s freedom…who had to stage a pregnancy to justify his new breast implants…we know how it works…you’re not fooling us Gisele…or should I say George….

Either way, real tits, mom tits, fake tits on a tranny or not, she’s lookin’ better than ever…so new moms or dudes who are pretending to be new moms take some fucking notes…

Pics via Fame

Posted in:Gisele Bundchen|Gym|Model|Mom|Tits

2009

25

Sep

Gisele is Pregnant of the Day

I guess these pictures prove that all those theories of this hard faced supermodel actually being a dude wrong. I would like to defend my stance for a minute, because I am one of the many who said that shit on the regular, because I was trying to fit in. The truth is that she was from Brazil and I know people who have gone down to Brazil and who claim the trannies are substantially better lookin’ than the regular women, leaving a whole lot of mystery and a whole lot of posibility, but logically, I knew that if she was actually born a dude, Victoria’s Secret would have dealt with that after kidnapping her and bringing her to America, you know with some bootleg surgery, but logically, why would they bother when they could just kidnap an actual girl from the third world who they don’t have to waste all that time, energy, money and recovery time on just to give her ladyparts.

All this to say, that I obviously knew Gisele wasn’t a dude, I actually found her hot at least once 10 years ago, but the dude angle made for easy jokes, but now I’m left with nothing but the hope that this is just some movie-magic like Lohan’s Labor Pains, or Schwartzneger’s Junior. You know fake pregnancy prosthtic to keep the lie alive, cuz until I see the birthing video, she’s got Balls to me…..

Pics via Fame

Posted in:Gisele Bundchen|Pregnant

2009

10

Jun

Gisele’s Naked Body Tattooed in a Magazine of the Day

The only thing more disgusting than one of those inked up alternative models naked and pierced and tattooed for guys who have no standards because those whores have no business being naked, but only have business being whores, because whores don’t have to be hot, they just have to get naked for sites like suicide girls, is supermodels who look like dudes naked and pretending to be tattooed.

Posted in:Gisele Bundchen|Naked|Tattoo

2009

31

Mar

Gisele’s Long Legs and Man Ass of the Day

I don’t know why everyone hates on Gisele for being a man, sure she may have a hard face, but would a man really wear lady jeans, I don’t think so. And would a man really marry some pro football player, everyone knows football players are straight as a fuckin’ arrow. They shower together and shove broomsticks in each other’s asses because they’re just that straight.

Here are her legs.

Posted in:Ass|Gisele Bundchen|Legs

2009

16

Mar

Gisele’s Married Nipple Does Brazil of the Day

You know it takes a certian guy to marry Gisele. You know, the kind of guy who lost his viriginity to his college football team during some kind of initiation, the kind of guy who can’t shower without met to feel really clean, you know a jock who likes his cock surrounded and compared to other cock because it brings him and his bros closer together.

Here is the happy couple in Brazil…you know…introducing Brady to real live chicks with dicks…not just chicks who look like they have dicks who he married, something the boys back home will never believe exist…you know “it’s like what you guys do to me in the shower after we win or lose or finish practice – only its got tits and HIV”….

Posted in:Gisele Bundchen|Married|Nipple

2009

09

Mar

Gisele’s Got the Discount Brazilian Tranny Whore Lip of the Day

If you read this site you know I like whores. I don’t just mean drunken party girls you’d call a whore. Or girls who try to sleep their way to the top or who use their bodies for their personal gain, but actual drug addicted gutter-rat shit you find in the dirtiest part of town, willing to do the dirtiest things you want done to on the cheap, because you have to settle for doing it in a park with someone barely human, instead of the whole high class, take regular showes and use condom bullshit you get with overpriced escorts.

I am talking raw, real, authentic hookin’ at it’s fucking best, the way it was meant to be, with crack addiction and no self respect because of years of being abused and abusing themselves, the kind of whore who has shit stains on her pants and a who re-uses tampons when she gets her period, which is rare since she’s so malnourished.

That said, one of the most exciting things that can happen when trying to find a whore to get you off, is for her to have a dirty herpe lip because you can really negotiate the already reasonable price down, since they can’t hide their battle wounds.

Posted in:Brazil|Gisele Bundchen|Herpes

2009

03

Mar

Gisele and Her Hard Nipples in Short Shorts of the Day

The rumor is that Tom Brady and Gisele had a secret wedding and I don’t really know why anyone really cares, I have no idea why them being married will have any real impact on anyone’s life, it’s not like we’re friends with the couple and they went off to Vegas or Mexico and came back hitched, I mean they are just people we see on TV and in magazines and shit and aren’t even real, so when I saw the story everywhere, I couldn’t help but think anyone who would talk about this in their everyday life, was seriously lacking substance and a life of their own, so to honor that opinion I wasn’t going to write about it, but then bitch goes out in short shorts with hard nipples and I am forced to, I am a weak man.

Yeah, I know what you’re thinking, she’s got a dick, from the neck up she looks like Fabio or Sean Penn in Fastimes, you know hard man features and a pointy scary face, but that body is pretty alright, the kind you’d fuck, even if it was pre-op.

Posted in:Gisele Bundchen|Hard Nipples|Legs|Shorts

2008

27

Oct

Kelly Ripa and Gisele Sing Some Karaoke of the Day

Here’s a video of Gisele showing off her bass singing skills like she was Lance Bass after he his puberty but I was too lazy to find the actual video of and was stuck with more Kelly Ripa stealing the spotlight because girls are jealous and catty and she’s trying to wants the spotlight on her and not on the leather pants wearing model legs. I think the highlight of the clip is the way she introduces “Bon Jovi”, it sounds a hell of a lot like “Blow Job”, maybe it’s a freudian slip because she’s sitting there feeling like getting her dick sucked, but it’s probably just the language barrier, either way, it’s worth watching, otherwise I wouldn’t be posting it. Asshole.

Posted in:Gisele Bundchen|Karaoke|Kelly Ripa

2008

23

Apr

Gisele Bundchen’s Tit in DT Magazine

I just wrote about how Alessandra Ambrosio being a pregnant Brazilian with big pregnant lady tits is nothing to get off to, but Brazilian tranny porn is. Part of me hates saying that this slut Gisele is a tranny because everyone says that shit all the time and it’s repetitive, but the truth is that no one I know finds her hot and like to reference Leonardo DiCaprio’s time with her as an experimental time in his life. I also like to say that she reminds Tom Brady of the those college football initiation days, when he would shove a broom stick up his ass while jerking off for his teammates before showering in their cum in the lockerroom before washing up together and goin’ out for a beer to fuck bitches together….Either way, this tranny has a tit and it’s distracting us from her busted up mug, so enjoy it, cuz it’s not gay if she looks like a girl, at least that’s what everyone I know who’s been sucked off by trannies have always said to me and I believe them….because they have no reason to lie to me, it’s like once you openly tell someone you’ve got off to a tranny you’ve pretty much divulged your deepest darkest secret and there’s little worse than that…I don’t know what I am talking about but I do hate you…and if that doesn’t make this post better…I don’t know what does.

Posted in:Gisele Bundchen|Photoshoot|Tits

2008

04

Apr

Gisele’s Ass in Some Jeans of the Day

Nothing says creepy pervert like standing across the street from a girl and watching her either put things in or take things out of her car in hopes to get a good look of her ass, except for maybe following a chick from the bar home and climbing her fire escape to watch her either drunken masturbate or have a booty call while you sit there jerking off like you’re watching some kind of live-action porn. It’s on the same level as watching a girl shopping at the mall and seeing her reach down for the perfect bikini or watching her model it for her friend before buying the perfect one. It’s like peaking into the curtain-doored changing rooms to watch them change without getting caught or even like hanging out at the bottom of open-backed stairs and watching girl walk up and down the stairs.

These are some pictures of GIsele putting things in or taking things out of her car and you can see the top strap of her panties, and those panties are actually touching her pussy,which must be pretty exciting for someone who has never seen a vagina….but is probably not all that exciting for the rest of the world. I call it the process of desensitization, like when I used to get a boner holding hands with a chick or seeing her in a bra and now I can barely get hard for a hot girl on all fours with a finger on her clit, begging me to stick it in, but I still try and thats all the matters to me, even if it turns out to be the worst sex for her. Let’s face it, I am not trying to impress anyone.

Posted in:Ass|Gisele Bundchen|Jeans

2008

02

Apr

Gisele Bundchen Does Assless Pants of the Day

Looks like Gisele is working the next big Gay Pride Parade and these are pictures from the photoshoot to promote the big day. I always found her hard face a little manly, but had no idea that she was a lady boy from Brazil, despite being far too familiar with Brazilian lady boys but that’s a story I am planning on taking with me to the grave. I guess it’s good to see her breaking out of her shell and letting us all know about her alternative lifestyle by throwing on a pair of her friend who died of AIDS last year’s favorite pair of pants….living a lie is always a huge weight on your shoulders that often times needs to be broken down, despite how embarrassing it is for you and your family. I’m talking to you closet case.

Either way, if Gisele is your thing, here’s her ass in a pair of Gay Village special assless jeans that always throw me the fuck off when they walk by me on a big muscular dude in a leather vest, but may make you a little uncomfortable when you cum all over your lucky pair of underwear…weirdo.

Posted in:Ass|Assless|Gisele Bundchen|Pants