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Archive for the Heidi Montag Category

2013

08

Nov

Heidi Montag’s Breast Reduction Tits Still Suck of the DAy

There’s always a level of funny when someone who thought they were so important, like Heidi Montag, who would do insane things like get ridiculous amounts of surgery to look like a Barbie Doll, is forgotten for a few years and decides the only storyline people will notice is if it involves downsizing her broken, sad, failure tits to a smaller implant size, because maybe, just maybe, some asshole with a site will find it absurd, pathetic and funny enough to post the “after” photoshoot…like her tits, or her fucking matter…so she was on a massive reality show, like all reality shows, bitch is forgotten…as she pushes 35…and remains a talentless hack…with an overbearing weirdo husband…who she is only with because she’s still living in the fantasy bubble of her shitty fucking 4 minute long career…fuck this bitch…literally..with my mouth…I would totally try to home wreck just for the sake of telling people I fucked Heidi Montag…10 years after she died…

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Posted in:Heidi Montag|SFW

2012

30

Nov

Heidi Montag is Still Staging Bikini Pics of the Day

Heidi Montag has climbed out of rock bottom….a place where no one gives a fuck about her….and has managed to get the attention of one photographer or photo agency willing to notice her in a bikini and put out the pics of her like she still matters…a move that will in fact make her hit even deeper rock bottom when she realizes that no one fucking does….so the life lesson is if a reality star who sold her soul and identity to the devil falls off the radar after the show was cancelled and she lost her mind….hits the beach in the bikini for a paparazzi she hired cuz they don’t want to waste resources taking pics of her….does she make a fucking sound….I don’t have the answer..but whatever it is sounds like fucking drowning….next stop…porn!


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Posted in:Heidi Montag

2012

16

Nov

Heidi Montag is Still in Staged Bikini Pics for the Paparazzi of the Day

If you’re wondering what Heidi Montag has been up to …. and I know you haven’t been….because she barely exists in the grand scheme of things…but she’s trying…trying so fucking hard…just to get people to pay even just a little attention to her….even though her celebrity has run its course…but if you’re the one weirdo who cares…she’s been staging bikini pics for the paparazzi in hopes that sites write about her….and I’m a sucker for bikini pics…so here they are to start the miserable day.


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Posted in:Heidi Montag

2012

08

Nov

Heidi Montag in a Bikini of the Day

You know I’ve been feeling a little down and out lately…you know a little empty as a person…like a shell of a man…and not because I have no emotions or soul…but because I haven’t had a low level, bottom feeding, MTV star from 4 years ago….cry for attention in a staged bikini shoot that she paid the paparazzi to take of her for publicity….in far too fucking long….

Now don’t get me wrong, I hate the existence of Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt as much as the next guy…but for a few years of running this site…there were daily annoying updates from them…that usually included her skinny, big fake titty body in a bikini….and when they fell off…I guess part of me fell off too….it’s just that I’m too old to bother learning about the new bottom feeders…that when bottom feeders form the past feel like home…

Maybe I am just getting nostalgic and shit…cuz American Thanksgiving is only 2 weeks away….or maybe I’m just happy to post a good old fashion staged bikini shoot from someone who fucking needs it more than anyone….

Today is a good day to be alive…except maybe for Heidi Montag….


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Posted in:Heidi Montag

2012

04

Oct

Heidi Montag is a Stripper of the Day


Heidi Montag is doing what she is meant to be doing…or at least dabbling with what she is meant to dabble in….as a bitch who bought herself G-Cup tits with a face of a ragged retired pornstar…there was really only one direction for her career to take…and that was to the pole…..

I figured there woulda been more college party hosting, and maybe other events that pay her to appear…but she fell off fast…

Now, Crazy Horse is paying her 25,000 dollars to appear, which is more than she deserves, I woulda expected her to get 50 bucks and the door….or some shit..but I guess she’s still high enough profile…but the only issue is she’s not getting naked….but she will…give it time…she’s not even 30 yet…but already rock bottom…so much to come like overdose and porn….and I’m pretty ready for it.

Posted in:Heidi Montag

2011

19

Sep

Heidi Montag’s Useless 25th Birthday of the Day

If a useless cunt no one remembers has a 25th birthday, does it make a sound?

25 or not, bitch might as well be dead.

She doesn’t matter.

Here’s her botched plastic surgery.

Posted in:Heidi Montag

2011

20

Jun

Heidi Montag Hosts a Vegas Pool Party in a Bikini of the Day

I guess it only makes sense that Heidi Montag would be hosting events at Vegas on a slow day, I mean where else is there to go when you’re a reality star everyone hates, cuz you pretty much represent all that is wrong with the fucking world….oh right Playboy….

I guess that’s why bitch co-hosted a pool party with Hef’s Crystal Harris bitch he recently fired, cuz either she wants to be the next in line as Hef’s fake wife, it’s one of the best jobs for fake tit, fake tan, fake hair whores in the world….way better than stripping locally…

I mean unless she’s just using this as a publicity stunt to get noticed…which would make sense, as all reality TV idiots are addicted to their 5 minutes and any chance to be talked about is good enough to them…

But I think it’s safe to say her next stop with her DDs is playboy….I mean that’s pretty much the look she’s got going and there’s pretty much no where else to go….I mean other than being irrelevant in Vegas….but that will end soon….and her getting naked will commence….and I’ll be watching unless of course I Ryan Dunn myself.

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Posted in:Heidi Montag

2011

04

Jan

Heidi Montag Playing Up Her Plastic Surgery of the Day

This hit magazine stands yesterday, so I can only assume this has done the rounds of the internet, but I figured for those of you who can’t get enough plastic surgery scars on useless, insecure, bottom feeding bitches you probably won’t remember in 2 years, despite her efforts to be remembered, cuz she doesn’t realize just how bullshit she is, you’d appreciate seeing Heidi Montag whine about surgery she did to herself in efforts to be seen as something worth looking at…when she really just ended up looking like a fucking clown….

This is from Life & Style, if you want to jerk off on her, you’ll have to buy the magazine…..cuz there’s just something magical about old school sticking pages together….Internet has tried to ruin that…but I’m hoping you won’t let it….

Posted in:Heidi Montag

2010

22

Sep

Heidi Montag Flashes her Bikini Covered Twat of the Day

Heidi Montag has clearly worked out a deal with this paparazzi company to release staged pictures of her, so that everyone makes money off bullshit….

The paparazzi agency is called “Pacific Coast News”. They used to give me images for free, cuz they were nice and understood I was broke, but eventually turned into typical paparazzi scum and tried to exploit me for stupid money I don’t have to post their staged bullshit pictures of idiots….

For some reason, people give a fuck about these cunts…so here are Heidi and Spencer milking their low level of fame, flashing a little bikini bottom covered cunt, in this staged set of pictures….

The world has evolved from getting excited about seeing a bitch in a bikini and having that being enough to really secure their place in the industry….and for that reason I think these assholes should step it up by releasing their murder suicide videos, or at least some sex tapes, cuz plastic pussy or not, I’d still like to see her get fucked…but the again, I am down to watch anyone fuck.


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Posted in:Heidi Montag

2010

16

Sep

Heidi Montag’s Tits at the Zoo of the Day

Heidi Montag is a waste of fucking space. I know the handful of people who can’t let go like to watch her bullshit purchased tits in various states of falling out of her bikini, but really we’d want to see any girl tit falling out of a bikini, hell, I’ve even been at the public pool staring at a 90 year old aquarobic class hoping one of their big vagina lips or big deflated tit would make it’s way out of the bathing suit, because that’s just what perverts do….but there’s just so much annoying about this bitch, that big bullshit purchased tits aren’t enough for me to ignore that I can’t stand her or anything she does because her bottom feeding isn’t crafty, interesting, fun or even clever, it’s obvious, mainstream and borderline retarded….and for some reason the people sitting at their offices surfing the net cuz they hate their lives love to eat it up…like they care if these idiots are married, divorced, pregnant, in a sex tape we haven’t seen clips of or not…it’s a real life Soap Opera only far less interesting….

Posted in:Heidi Montag

2010

15

Sep

Heidi Montag Holding Her Big Stupid Tit of the Day

I feel like I may have missed this picture of useless bottom feeding trash pulling out her fake tit she got for attention while in staged bikini pictures she is taking for attention…because her sex tape rumor needs to be kept alive since it has people who want to see how bad her plastic face fucks…..from yesterday’s Heidi Montag Fake Tits in a Bikini Post

I find the whole thing tedious, boring, repetitive, obnoxious…but I have my fingers crossed that this story ends in murder suicide…something we can all collective jerk off to in excitement…


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Posted in:Heidi Montag

2010

14

Sep

Heidi Montag Bikini Pictures of the Day

Heidi Montag is not hot. I don’t care what anyone says, or how many times they call me gay for saying that there’s really nothing special to her. She’s got a shitty looking face, she’s got a decent at best body, and the only good thing about her are a couple tits she bought and anyone with 10,000 dollars could have. Not to mention, her low level attempts to get media attention, her fake husband and possibly fake sex tape that I am sure will be a real sex tape soon enough, because let’s face it, seeing her fuck post surgery, is hardly like seeing her fuck at all, cuz Hollywood ate her up, spat her out, and turned her into a monster that is barely human…and definitely not who she was before….and I think people need to really just flick the off switch on her…cuz she will go away and all her annoying cries for attention ignored….will make the world a better place…

Here she is in some staged bullshit bikini grabbing her tits…cuz that’s all she has going for her…and even that is hardly interesting…but at least she’s a pussy in a bikini…cuz that’s good enough for me.


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Posted in:Heidi Montag

2010

09

Sep

Heidi Montag Staged Bikini Pics So You Don’t Forget Her of the Day

Heidi Montag does whatever it takes to stay in the media, I guess she figures she’s put all this work into committing to being a trashcan of a person, focusing on nothing more than getting people to notice her, all while sacrificing any self-respect she might have….

That is why she pretended to get divorced to someone I think she pretended to marry. That is why they are now reporting she has a sex tape with some other useless attention whore. That is why she had the plastic surgery. That is why she is pretending to get the plastic surgery reversed. That is why she uses twitter to talk about massaging her implants. That is why she is in these staged bikini pics…

The real unfortunate thing in all this is that I don’t find her hot, or interesting, or even human, she is so low grade they wouldn’t feed her to orphans or homeless people if she was beef, but I guess pussy in a bikini is pussy in a bikini…even if it is the representation of all that is wrong in this world…

I do know that she’s gone this far, so the sex tape is probably real, and when it drops, I’ll be sure to climb on that like it was my wife busting my balls to fuck her….very cautiously….

The real depressing thing in all this is that she’s in Costa Rica and not Mexico, where she could have been confused for a drug lord’s slut wife, or a drug mule, resulting in her death…..but I guess we’re stuck dealing with her stunts a little longer…..


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Posted in:Heidi Montag

2010

27

May

Heidi Montag’s Transformer’s Audition is Desperate of the Day

Like the bottom feeding trash that this bitch is, she is trying to get Megan Fox’s job in transformers by posting a shooting gallery training session with a cop on her twitter directed @michael_bay, like the time I tried to get sex with Lohan by writing @lindsaylohan “Let’s have sex”….it’s laughable, it’s a joke, she’s a joke that is hopefully coming to a fucking end…because she can’t go on forever and suicide or a botched plastic surgery is inevitable, but there’s always something guys find hot about bitches with guns, no matter how low level and useless they are….so here are some pics of her with guns, that aren’t that recent, but are doing the rounds, cuz people find this twitter hustle a fucking joke and we all like watching bitches with egos fall…lets just hope we are hear about a gun accident in their mansion in the near future….murder suicide can be a beautiful thing when it involves these twats.

Pics via PacificCoastNews

Posted in:Guns|Heidi Montag

2010

24

May

Heidi Montag’s Stupid Fake Tits Eat Ice Cream of the Day

Here are some pictures of Heidi Montag feeding her new tits ice cream. It’s obviously a publcity stunt because she knows that pictures of her emotionally eating two servings of ice cream while showing off her new stupid tits are enough to get the paparazzi excited, and apparently, it’s enough to get you excited, cuz it’s far more entertaining than standing outside your ice cream shop staring at the fat mom’s and white trash stuffing their gutter faces….that’s not to say Heidi isn’t trash, it’s to say tits are hotter than the tattooed up sloppy shit with their gutter kids that I am going to spend my afternoon staring at….cuz licking ice cream is a fetish, except when the licking is done by an old queeny fag on the boardwalk I saw yesterday who I am pretty sure thought he was sucking a young vibrant cock while rocking a boner in his short shorts leaving everyone around him feeling pretty fucking uncomfortable….it is hot outside and there is no reason for me to be inside…especially since I hate my wife’s heavy breathing and the smell of this but I also hate giving Heidi Montag any fucking attention…Good thing no one reads this site…

Pics via PacificCoastNews

Posted in:Fake Tits|Heidi Montag|Ice Cream