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Archive for the Jennifer Aniston Category

2014

08

Apr

Jennifer Aniston Monster of the Day

Jennifer Aniston always looks like this to me. Everyone, and by everyone I mean a handful of people with nothing better to discuss than Jennifer Aniston’s transformative role in some new movie, despite being a horrible actor to begin with, but hollywood spews nonsense and hollywood fans buy into it…perpetuating this horrible horrible world…

But for the last 5 years, despite her solid tits and hard nipples, this is all I saw when I saw Aniston playing the love interest or sex symbol in movies…Some old, saggy faced, overrated actress, who should be replaced with someone who isn’t 100 years old…because as fun as old ladies trying to be young girls since they can’t get pregnant cuz they removed their uterus for their career, I see similar women all the time, because I guess it’s a trend for moms to compete with their teen daughters for who has a nicer ass, it always has a nice level of pathetic, but not as much pathetic as I really want, because she’s probably worth 100 million dollars thanks to doing this shit and I guess that means the jokes on us…I mean look at this face…

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2014

12

Mar

Jennifer Aniston Face of the Day

Remember when Jennifer Anistion was considered this hot thing all because she was on TV and had hard nipples? Or more importantly remember when Jennifer Aniston played a stripper a year ago in a movie like she wasn’t 100 fucking years old…

Well here’s Jennifer Aniston…now…not looking’ her best…

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2013

31

Dec

More Jennifer Aniston Bikini Pics of the Day


If life wasn’t bad enough…knowing that we are heading into another miserable year…where we will be another year older…another year of more debt, failure and disappointment, where all our aspirations and hopes and positive expectations for ourselves will be fall and leave us exactly in the same place this time next year…Jennifer Aniston decided to get into a bikini and show everyone her body that if this was 1995…even 2005…it’d be hot and fun and exciting even…but bitch, we’re so bombarded with babes, even nobodies on our Facebook feed, that look better than this, it just pisses me off knowing these tits made her 100,000,000 dollars or more…what a fucking scam…

This would be much better if Jennifer Aniston chose a ski vacation instead of this.

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2013

30

Dec

Jennifer Aniston is a Bikini Monster of the Day


I saw Meet the Millers where Jennifer Aniston played a stripper monster who had no business stripping thanks to being 100 fucking years old…but it was a movie and I’ve been to strip clubs and know the broken down women in their 40s who still strip and hate it…so I could let it slide as a slice of reality in an otherwise pile of shit…the sadness in her face as she tried to be sexy knowing she isn’t sexy…

But here she is being a bikini monster far too old, and possibly pregnant, even if she’s likely too old to be pregnant…and the whole thing is scary to me…like a horrible nightmare that I may be taking bit too seriously, because with all inappropriate or misappropriation of bikinis, I can always turn the other way and look elsewhere, but really the fuck would I do that, I am totally into train wrecks…in the form of women who think they still got it.

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2013

05

Sep

Jennifer Aniston’s Stripper Scenes from We’re the Millers of the Day

I don’t mind watching Jennifer Aniston trying to strip, because she’s horrible at this stripper shit, and since she’s won at life, it’s nice to see her fail at such a major scale…I’m talking on the big screen for everyone to ridicule, even though I know people are idiots and probably love the shit, even though she’s pushing 60 years old, and is clearly too old for this shit…not that you can ever be too old for stripping, some of my favorite strippers, the real desperate kind, are in their 50s…because they don’t have to take nights off cuz of that pesty period….like Jennifer Aniston…and they don’t even have a body nearly as good as Aniston, who spends hours a day on this shit, because the second she loses it, she won’t matter anymore….

Either way, based on her moves, she’s probably a really shitty fuck…but Brad Pitt could have told you that…and that was before menopause…

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2013

21

Aug

Jennifer Aniston’s Paparazzi Bikini Product Placement Pics of the Day

Some people get excited when they see Jennifer Aniston in her bikini pics and by some people I mean her corporate sponsors who I know pay her a few million dollars a year to promote their “Smart Water Brand”…because why else would she always be seen drinking the shit…it’s straight up product placement…

The simple law of paparazzi is that every picture you see is staged.

If Jennifer Aniston doesn’t want to be seen in a bikini in pictures when in a bikini, she isn’t…

My theory is that in her contract it states “This water must be in at least 10 different paparazzi pics a year” and she’s up to 8 and trying to pull it all together…to get paid, because celebs love their fucking money.

I mean the fact that the water is even in the shots is just proof to how full of shit she is, and really who cares about her water, or her hard nipples in her bikini, when the real highlight is how old as fuck she looks when she gets wet…like a real fucking Lochness Monster pissing in the pool cuz she’s got no bladder control thanks to menopause…and all the anal she had trying to not get pregnant to focus on her career. Good Times.

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2013

02

Aug

Jennifer Aniston Either Ate or is Pregnant of the Day


Jennifer Aniston looks old and ugly, probably because she is, or maybe that’s just her pregnancy “glow”, you know that look pregnant chicks get that guys are willing to fuck because they know they can’t get them pregnant, and they get off knowing a bitch is such a slut that despite being pregnant with some other dudes kid, she’s fucking you….and that other girls envy, for fear of being forever alone, and jealous that this bitch achieved what all girls strive to achieve before it is too late and their bodies turn it off, even after it is too late, like they were Jennifer Aniston, defying nature or some shit, that I am sure cost a lot at the fertility clinic…

Ultimately, who really cares if she just ate, or if she’s pregnant, or if she’s a freak lab experiment, she’s Jennifer Aniston and ultimately, she doesn’t fucking matter..even though she really fucking thinks she does.

Remember, she looks like shit and this is what she wants you talking about, she’s promoting a new movie motherfuckers…she needs her name in the media…this is a good way to do it.

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2013

24

Jul

Jennifer Aniston’s Hard Nipples on Set of the Day

Jennifer Aniston kinda lost her appeal when she hit menopause. Seeing her hard nipples, even if she’s cast as a stripper, reminds me of when I see an old lady in the drug store buying her blood pressure medication, hit by the Air Conditioning. You know thick granny nipples, that have been sucked for generations, all thick and callused.

But maybe she’s not that bad yet, I mean she’s sitting on the fence, a few hormone therapy treatments away from being knocked up, the uterus on the last legs, so it’s not quite a fetish to jerk off to her yet, but in a 6-12 months, motherfucker, you’ll be into granny porn, and that’s so fucking vile….not that you already aren’t…freak.

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2013

27

Jun

Jennifer Aniston Leads Men to Do This of the Day


If you were marrying Jennifer Aniston, you know if you were the chosen, you’d probably be out killing dogs too…

I mean you are the one dude who has pulled off a task so many dudes have bowed out of both gracefully, and not so gracefully…

All to make the general public really question her vagina and it’s inability to seduce men…

I mean she looks ok in the movies, she’s got hot tits and a toned body, but she must be a real fucking devil pussy, with a sour and horrible personality, cuz she just can’t keep a dude locked in…..

But going out there and killing dogs…that shit helps deal with the anger you feel inside when trapped by her….

At least that’s what I assume this is all about…I mean it couldn’t be a movie set or anything, that’d be crazy talk.


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