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Archive for the Jessica Alba Category




The Photoshoppped Jessica Alba Bikini Pics of the Day

Jessica Alba is 400 years old, and I guess into showing off the fossilization process of a totally irrelevant sex symbol, who decided to run off and make babies for her own ego, to trap her man, who she was obviously a crazy, instead of doing the right thing…like getting naked in movies…

So here she is in some Entertainment Weekly shit her expensive publicist set up, because maintaining celebrity is important to the success of her internet business/scam she’s running…

She’s in a bikini, photoshopped to shit, looking like a cheap Sears Catalog, but you’re going to masturbate to it, because you are the kind of person stuck in 1998, who can’t move on, because those were the glory years when you still had hope…now you just have to embrace your middle aged irrelevance…

And what it comes down to, is photoshopped or not, she’s still better than any mom of two you’ve had sex with…including but not limited to your wife, provided anyone has ever let you have sex with them…

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Jessica Alba’s Bikini Ass for Entertainment Weekly of the Day

Jessica Alba posted this bikini ass shot that is on the cover of Entertainment Weekly…and as much as I love photoshopped 30 year old has-beens, who probably still have awesome bodies, even after having a couple kids, but who probably doesn’t still have an awesome vagina, after having a couple kids, because you can work your body back into shape if you do fitness and eat right, but you can’t rebuild a vagina…even with surgery…specially not when you’re building a huge business for other new moms, making you the figure head of young moms with this lifestyle brand bullshit….

What it comes down to is that staring at her bikini ass is so standard, and obvious. It’s like it was 1999 all over again, but we’ve had 15 years of desenstization, I’m far for more into getting off to something more obscure….like her selfie reflection of her playlist…and her doc martins…it’s a new kind of porn…a very specific new kind of porn…

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Jessica Alba Bikini Parties for Mother’s Day of the Day

Jessica Alba is pretty full of shit. She’s just understands marketing and how to present herself to the public so that they buy into her stupid brand that probably makes a ton of money. She’s probably not even fucking or sleeping in the same bed as her husband, you know shit is probably all about money and the business and both parties are totally cool with their partnership…even if it is really just a lie…

So I see see was wasted at a bikini pool party…mom’s are allowed to get TURNT up…but I went to her instagram and all she posted was her at some mother’s day charity bullshit…meaning her getting TURNT is not really how she wants to present herself to the world, yet she still want to get TURNT…

It’s just this hypocrisy that goes on in the world, because I don’t want to support some Martha Steward of Parenting, knowing she’s just a bikini clad party slut up on some Tara Reid shit…I want bitch to commit to her Brady Bunch shit and to me this is a slip up, even though I love girls in bikinis..

I guess what it comes down to is that Jessica Alba doesn’t matter anymore..she’s old and a mom and even in a bikini sucks…so I should just end this post now.



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Jessica Alba Walking of the Day

I started the site in a time when Jessica Alba was the biggest deal, even though she can hardly act, and never got nude in movies, making her pretty useless as far as my very astute taste in women goes..it’s like either give me talent or titties…this filler shit that looks alright cuz it isn’t fat and has a nice enough Mexican face is ok, but I don’t celebrate shit unless I see her tits…and that was before being a mom of two…

So I guess I am posting this as a memory of what was, or maybe to say she’s not so great, or maybe to speak to you old timers who haven’t moved the fuck on, or as a reminder to the new comers who don’t remember who Jessica Alba was because she hasn’t mattered the last 10 years…that she doesn’t matter, even when in clown pants and her corporate mom site shirt…but people like me will post it anyway…even though they are the worst paparazzi pics pretty much ever…


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Jessica Alba in a “Kill The Bush” Campaign of the Day

Jessica Alba is perpetuating the evil kill the bush movement…with her mom blogger ad campaign that is designed to speak to wive’s everywhere, because that is her audience, who should, like all girls, not be shaving their pussies, but rather have more excuse not to shave their pussies, because the cost of having their man, who is conditioned by the bald pussy thanks to porn movement, leave them is too high…

It’s like half of everything I own to fuck this bald pussy, all because big corporations created an insecurity for women, a fake want for men and a billion dollar industry, killing the bush in the process thanks to laser, when bush is one of the most erotic accessories a pussy can have besides an asshole..

So I guess Alba really is evil…and perpetuating negative body image for girls everywhere, by helping women feel objectified, with unrealistic media produced demands like hair removal…

But she got paid over 100k for this people, so it is totally worth it…

Devil woman.

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Jessica Alba Stiripper in Sin City 2 of the Day

Jessica Alba is a stripper in the new Sin City..

This is the promo pic…

As much as I like single mother strippers trying to make enough money for their drug habits…

This is just too candy coated hollywood for me…

There’s no herpes scabs or broken souls…which is a fail….

But I’ll still look, despite the whole not being naked yet being a stripper lie that is being presented to us.

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Jessica Alba Bikini Pics of the Day

The only thing less attractive than seeing a mom in her bikini, is seeing a grandmother in her bikini, not that I wouldn’t want to fuck a mom and a grandmother and a daughter in their bikinis all at the same time, but individually, they aren’t that impressive, even when they are Jessica Alba, in her bullshit fake marriage that she used her uterus to trap and make happen, leading a a miserable husband who she probably lets fuck other girls, because the tightness in her vagina disappeared with child birth, and because they are from LA and no one in LA is monogamous…not even with Jessica Alba because there are hundreds of girls in LA way better looking, who are younger and down to fuck knowing you’re Alba’s husband…it’s just the way it is….but I’l still look at her in a bikini and not hate her for being half naked, but rather hate her for being so fucking boring…

That’s not to say I wouldn’t stepfather her kids, cuz I totally would..but it is to say that she’s not spreading her asshole…which is what makes it fun…

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Jessica Alba for Glamour of the Day

I don’t get overly excited about Jessica Alba, but she’s still Jessica Alba…you see she’s always been hot enough to look at…but she’s also always been fucking annoying. Whether it was never getting naked in her movies despite being cast as the hot chick, to having babies pre-maturely to trap her husband, to now doing some Martha Stewart shit, it’s just been fucking consistent disappointment with her…so I know what she’s posing for magazines, it’s not for a “before and after” expose on mom vaginas…it won’t even be artistic nudes, even after being spread out on the hospital bed birthing, it’s will just always be G-Rated, leaving us wanting nudity, and after so many years, it no longer remains cute, if anything it just makes me mad…

I don’t even really want to see a naked mom of 2 in her 30s…I mean despite the fact that I want to see every single woman ever naked…but it’s not my fetish or something I seek, but her constant tease, the 2 decade old tease, that always ends in disappointment, kinda makes me want it more…

So her she is in August’s Glamour….we’ll leave it at that.

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Jessica Alba for the Sunday Times of the Day

Jessica Alba was in the Sunday Times and she looked pretty fucking lovely, despite not being naked enough for my liking, she’s Jessica Alba, and has never been naked enough for my liking, she always knew she was hot, and always knew that getting naked would end her appeal, so she never fucking did it. I just assumed falling off the map and having a couple of kids would have made her more desperate, only instead of taking any job she can get, now more naked because she’s eager to get back in the limelight, or even to establish herself as an actor now that she’s more comfortable being spread out on a table in front of a room full of people thanks to child birth…

But instead she took the Martha’s Stewart route…you know if Martha Stewart wore evening gowns on tennis courts..

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