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Archive for the Jessica Alba Category

2011

16

May

Jessica Alba Pregnant Bikini Pics of the Day

I don’t know if I already posted these pictures, pregnant chicks, especially when half naked, are kinda like what black people think about white people, that they all look the same.

That’s not to say I wouldn’t try to have sex with her unprotected for confidence that I wouldn’t knock her up and have that lifetime commitment, but is to say that I’d probably hit it from the back, cuz that baby filled stomach with a buldging belly button is about as erotic as finding out a bitch has AIDS before sticking it in.

If that makes any sense…

Posted in:Jessica Alba

2011

13

May

More Jessica Alba Pregnant Bikini Pics of the Day

I figured we needed a little horror for Friday the 13th, and as far as I’m concerned having a creature growing inside you is as bad as it gets, for both career, sex appeal and most importantly vagina….

Clearly, I’m not one of those people who think pregnancy is hot. Ever.

To See the Rest of the Pics
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Posted in:Jessica Alba

2011

12

May

Pregnant Jessica Alba in a Bikini of the Day

The only time I find a pregnant chick hot is when it is my wife and the I know for a fact the kid isn’t mine because then I have an excuse to leave the bitch with a smile on my fucking face.

I am not one of those idiots who thinks pregnancy is beautiful. I know the damage it does to a woman’s vagina, the headaches it causes, and if anything a living thing inside you, even if it is natural, seems so fucking unnatural….

So here are some pics of Alba throwing away her career a little more, and the positive side of this is that she’ll come back as a mature actress willing to get naked, the unfortunate side of that is that it’ll be too little too late, cuz this coincides with her not being at her prime.

If you know what I mean.

To See the Rest of the Pictures
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Posted in:Jessica Alba

2011

19

Apr

Jessica Alba’s Pregnancy Pictures that Represent Bad Decision Making Skills of the Day

Here are some pictures of a pregnant Alba…What a fucking waste.

Maybe I’m just saying that cuz I’m a firm believer that pregnancy isn’t hot and that it kills bodies, careers and vaginas……

Maybe I’m just saying that cuz I don’t realize how naked she is gonna be getting in future roles to stay relevant and to get paid….

Maybe I’m just saying that cuz I firmly believe in abortion as a form of contraceptive…third trimester if escape route is needed….

Maybe I’m just saying that cuz these aren’t pics of her in a bikini….

Posted in:Jessica Alba

2011

08

Apr

Jessica Alba for Vogue Italia of the Day

Jessica Alba too a bad decision and decided to make it worse by doing it again. I am talking about pregnancy. I get the whole strategy to keep your significant other who is trying to escape your cunt diva behavior by making him feel obligated to be a good dad, and I get the insecurities and daddy issues a Mexican American who made it famous has, but I still think it shoulda have waited til her peak was over….she got arrogant, figured work would always be there, but it wasn’t so instead of stopping at one chile, I guess cuz the damage was done, she’s onto another one, but luckily she’s got nannies so it doesn’t burden her life in anyway….it just burdens her twat…

The only good that has come is that with all the poking and proding by the doctors with her vagina, and the lack of work she’s been able to get, she’s far more inclined to get naked in movies…so the future of Alba is gonna be far more naked…and that’s good enough even if she’s not at her prime…

Posted in:Jessica Alba

2011

16

Mar

Jessica Alba Mom Cleavage of the Day

After that whole PINK pregnancy disaster, I figured I’d reclaim sexy pregnancy with these pics of Alba’s pregnant tits, no wait, that’s right, although a step up from Pink, pregnancy is always disgusting…do you people not believe in abortions anymore?! Seriously, they invented them for a reason….Milk filled tits or not, there’s nothing awesome about a tattered body and more importantly a vagina that was a shell of what it once was….


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Posted in:Jessica Alba

2011

14

Mar

Jessica Alba’s Boring Pregnancy Continues of the Day

Apparently she hasn’t had an aboriton yet…Instead she decided to bore us with her happy growing family bullshit, when she should be boring us with her vagina, you know in an “oh Alba’s nude in another movie, god does she know how to do anything else” kind of way, but instead we gotta deal with this bullshit….So much wasted potential all thanks to an internal cumshot and a Catholic use of birth control…Disgusting.

You can see her pregnany milk producing mom nipples from far but not when close up.

Posted in:Jessica Alba

2011

09

Mar

Pregnant Jessica Alba in Leggings of the Day

These were pictures of Jessica Alba pretending to be a good mother by hugging her daughter goodbye for the paparazzi before passing her off to the nanny to tend to her because her kid thinks her nanny is her mother, and Alba is some Aunt who takes her out for photo opps….

You see when she got knocked up the first time by Cash Warren, it was to trap him when he was trying to escape his relationship to her, she never really planned on doing any of the work, that the benefit of being a rich self involved cunt, she probably didn’t realize it was going to ruin her career, cuz self involved cunts don’t realize they have no talent and were just cast cuz people wanted to fuck them….not that I really know anything about Alba, other than that she’s pregnant again, and walking around in pussy hugging leggings, that I don’t mind lookin’ at, cuz pregnant or not, mangled mom pussy or not, fat, sloppy or not, I’m always down with leggings on bitches, especially when they can’t do the whole bikini thing anymore and this is the best the bitch can get…It’s one of the main reasons I leave my house.

Posted in:Jessica Alba

2011

26

Jan

Jessica Alba’s Titty is Boring in a Tight Dress of the Day

Who gives a fuck about Jessica Alba. We need to remember her as the starlet who wronged us. Who chose her cunt self over her career and keeping her pervert fans happy. Who felt too important to get naked on camera, cuz she felt she had integrity and didn’t want to cheapen herself, even though she only was getting work for being hot, and who instead went and got knocked up to keep her boyfriend who was trying to dump her, like she lived in the fucking projects or some shit….The whole thing is fucking ghetto and I hope the only way she ever makes a comeback involves me seeing if her pussy is an inny or an outty…

That’s all I have to say about that…

Here she is showing off skinny calves on the street….like a common whore….

Posted in:Jessica Alba

2011

21

Jan

Jessica Alba Feeding the Meter of the Day

I like watching bitches shove money in inanimate objects. It’s a fetish that I can only get a taste of standing at vending machines, gumball machines and parking meters…I don’t know what it is, but can assume it’s all about the penetration…

I don’t know what I’m talking about, I don’t have that fetish….the only sex with money games I play involve roles of quarters and willing assholes which has nothing to do with parking meters or the bitches confused by their complexity….the only insertion in coinslots I’m into involves meaty inny vagina….

I just felt like I had to get these Alba pics up, even though she’s a mom and thus disgusting…cuz she’s still Jessica Alba….

Posted in:Jessica Alba

2011

13

Jan

Jessica Alba Isn’t Hot Doing Boring Mom Shit of the Day

I am pretty confident that these pictures prove that there is little hot about being a mom. I mean this is Jessica Alba and she should in theory look good under all circumstances, in any condition, from shitting, to taking out the trash, to being unshowered, to gaining 20 pounds, to the idea of her nagging the fuck out of us to do more around the house cuz the Mexican maid she hired as a tribute to her Mexican father, but the second that shit happens knowing she has a kid….it loses all its appeal…..unless of course it is naked…which in these pictures she’s not….

Posted in:Jessica Alba

2010

28

Dec

Jessica Alba in Some Erotic Photoshoot of the Day

I don’t know what these pictures of Jessica Alba are from. I am assuming they are pre-baby, because if they were post baby, her labia would be hanging down to her knee, but maybe that’s just my misconception on the vagina’s ability to go back to its original form after child birth, because let’s face it, I’m not a gyno, and I don’t ask the whore’s I sleep with how many times they’ve had kids, that’s a little too personal for my needs as I climax on their faces, not that that’s even an option anymore with the whole impotency thing, but looking at these Alba pics, I wish it was cuz she’s looking good. Maybe that’s the hangover talking, maybe I’m just into anything in that stance, let’s just hope she keeps it up.

Posted in:Jessica Alba

2010

16

Dec

Jessica Alba Showing Some Tit at Some Bullshit of the Day

Jessica Alba is fucking boring….what is even more boring is that I am writing about her just for wearing a dress that showed off a little titty like it’s a big deal. Seriously, when I think about the fact that I pulled these pictures off the internet, resized them and uploaded them to my site one by one, like some kind of virgin loser who doesn’t have better things to do but gather pictures of bitches he is convinced are of his bride who just doesn’t realize it yet and the whole thing makes me feel fucking pathetic. Seriously.

I don’t know why I do what I do. I’m too cool for this shit. It makes no sense to me, especailly when I don’t make money on this shit and don’t care or have a passion for this celebrity lie, especially when the pics are of some bitch who had a no nudity clause when she mattered before she got herself knocked up to get her man back…..

Here is her cleavage. I hate myself for this post…but I hated myself before this post…so I did it anyway…

Posted in:Jessica Alba

2010

08

Dec

Jessica Alba’s Big Box of the Day

No, I’m not talking about Jessica Alba’s actual box, but I am assuming that hers is just as cold, dead and cavernous, you know capable of storing your Christmas decorations, and that midget stripper prostitute you kidnapped during a drug raid at the local midget strip club that you accidentally fucked to death when you got it home cuz you didn’t realize her little stripper pussy couldn’t handle your forearm, cuz shit hit vital organs unlike the pussy you are used to that is built like Jessica Alba’s box, cuz it has a couple kids and is lifesize. If you know what I mean.

Posted in:Jessica Alba

2010

05

Nov

Possible Jessica Alba Mom Sexting of the Day

Seeing as she’s been with the same dude for a long time and they have a kid together, I doubt he’d go around showing people these pictures for jokes, so either it’s not Alba, or it’s an inside job to regain her sex appeal after having a kid and pretty much ruining it….I guess you can be the judge and all I really know is that bitches with digital cameras change fucking lives…

Unfortunately, as Jessica Alba’s sext can confirm, sexting takes on a whole new level of disgusting when it is monitoring baby weight, or post baby weight, which I can only assume this is, you know those pregnant bitches just can’t get enough watching their body’s transform…and think the guys they are with who are fucking hookers behind their back to feel like men cuz their bitches have morphed into monsters are into it…

But like I say whenever I watch a bitch breast feed her kid in public, at least there’s nipple.

Posted in:Jessica Alba