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Archive for the Jessica Alba Category

2013

06

Feb

Jessica Alba is the Worst for Women’s Health of the Day

I don’t know what compelled me to watch an interview with Jessica Alba for Women’s Health’s latest edition….but I did it….I think it had something to do with her being in some kind of crop top showing off where a couple babies ruined her career and motivated her to start some company of her own that I am pretty sure she plugs along the way but can’t be too sure cuz I muted the bitch…something I assume her husband probably wishes he had the power to do….you know ever since she trapped him into marriage by getting pregnant…it was like dude was banging her at her peak and now he’s stuck with her through her demise…but at least she’s not fat….

Posted in:Jessica Alba

2013

14

Jan

Jessica Alba Boring But I’d Still Fuck Her in InStyle of the Day


Jessica Alba is in a recent issue of InStyle where she’s not doing anything particularly sexy…I mean she’s posing with kids toys, which unless you’re the fucking sexy nanny I am coming home to fuck while my wife is at the hair salon, I’m not entirely interested…cuz eating a pussy that I know a baby was shat out of more than once…kinda makes me fucking sick…the whole alien parasite nesting shit I just can’t wrap my mind around because I’m either autistic or because I don’t want to believe or accept that’s how we are made….but I am willing to accept that Alba still has sex appeal…only more mature…bringing out fantasy of a wife you’d want to break down year after year…ignoring her after she threw away her dreams to be with you and have your family..who doesn’t know she’s this hot….cuz you don’t show her appreciation…and who just constantly seeks your approval not knowing millions of better dudes would treat her like a queen…but her focus, like all girls is micro….and that makes her totally devoted to you cuz you are her everything….leading to better blow jobs…true story.

Posted in:Jessica Alba

2013

03

Jan

Jessica Alba’s in a Bikini and I Don’t Care of the Day

There’s something about a bitch having two kids that makes her invisible….even if her body is incredible…even if she’s someone who was considered the hottest Mexican to grace shitty movies…that she never got naked in….before doing typical hoodrat Mexican shit like getting herself knocked up to lock in a man….

The only good thing about her, is that she puts all other fat lazy mom’s to shame….cuz they pretend they can’t bounce back from their uterus being used to its full, unfortunate potential…

Yeah yeah…I get it…you wish this kind of thing was your wife or what your wife looked like…but what kind of person fantasizes about a wife…that’s way too lonely, sad, hopeless romantic…fantasies should be about hot pussy.

You see cuz there are a lot of under 30s out there, pre-baby making, who look better than this without starving themselves and trying so hard to have a second go at a career

I suggest we focus on that.

But on a positive Not AT LEAST SHE’S NOT Reese Witherspoon who Should Be Banned from Beaches ….Seriously….I know it’s not saying much but REESE WITHERSPOON ON THE BEACH SCARES ME …..

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Posted in:Jessica Alba

2012

05

Oct

Looking Down Jessica Alba’s Shirt of the Day


I keep holding onto the Jessica Alba dream because I am dated, out of the loop, I don’t leave my house and I don’t pay attention to the new Jessica Albas, the up and comers, the future….but after seeing her deflated mom tits in a bra, I figure it’s time to say goodbye to yesterday…

Alba’s an old lady, a mom, and even if she bends over in the rain wearing a black bra, all for the paparazzi to say “look at me, I’m still here and stylish, relevant and hot”…..I think it’s time to catalog her in the box in the basement of our minds as a teen dream we used to jerk off to and eagerly await hard nipple pics of….in a time that is long gone.

She’s done, or at least I’m done with her, but here’s one more run of Jessica Alba for the believers.


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Posted in:Jessica Alba

2012

28

Sep

Jessica Alba Ass Scatcher of the Day


There is something that comes with being a mother that is amazing and beautiful….but there is so much more that comes with being a mother that is fucking disgusting….like the fact that these women spend so much time in doctor’s offices spread…or dealing with puking, shitting babies, even if the nanny does most of the work….coupled with hormones and exhaustion that lead to doing inappropriate shit like scratching your hermorhoided mom ass in public cuz your designer panties are irritating them….and for some reason I like this better than when bitches are young, conservative prude…giving up is awesome.


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Posted in:Jessica Alba

2012

17

Aug

Jessica Alba in a Kids Pool in an Actual Pool in a Bikini of the Day


Jessica Alba has blocked me on twitter becasue she didn’t like my love letters I’d send her every hour on the hour….discussing the way I would treat her half mexican baby making ass like it was a dog I rescued from a backyard breeder….so I don’t know when this crafty bikini pic was taken all I know is that she’s showing off her cunt privileged life of being so rich and fortunate that she can swim in a pool within a pool, while the average american only gets to swim in sewer drainage ditches after a rainstorm….Oh how good it is to be hollywood…

I’m just posting it cuz she’s in a bikini and that’s the only way I like girls.

Posted in:Jessica Alba

2012

16

Jul

Jessica Alba’s in a Bikini of the Day

I realize that the pic I posted isn’t of Jessica Alba in a bikini, but bitch is on a boat in a tube top, looking like a castaway on Survivor, crossed with some Mexican looking bitch, cuz she’s Mexican, on a fucking boat, rocking some thin shoulders, but during this trip….Jessica Alba was out in a bikini and I don’t have the rights to post the pics but I can link to them….and that is what I am going to do….and really it is probably better for me to keep 30 plus moms in bikinis off the site…cuz that’s the kind of shit, even when it is starring Jessica Alba, that shouldn’t fucking happen….there comees a time in every shredded thanks to pregnancy vagina that it needs to assume the role of middle aged mother…and that time has come for Alba…even if she’s hotter than most bitches, she’s still only a fragment of what she was….but I guess she’s still Jessica ALba…maybe I am just made cuz she blocked me on Facebook and Twitter for no reason….other than my hateful yet hilarious comments.


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Posted in:Jessica Alba

2012

11

Jul

Jessica Alba in Her Bikini of the Day

I posted this pic of Jessica Alba in Italy in her bikini yesterday, or whenever it was that she put it up on Instagram, because I’m a fan of girls who are content produers….and who put the shit out before the paparazzi get to it….because the paparazzi are the devils and making the obsolete is a good thing…even the whole point of this post is to drive you to the paparazzi pics of Alba in her bikini …..

I like tacky girls marketing themselves in bikinis, it is the basis of most of my facebook masturbation sessions….you see cuz girls you know half naked is more fun than girls you don’t know getting fucked….and the real highlight of personal pics is finding out that bitch’s Mom’s got some Tits…..


TO SEE THE PAPARAZZI BIKINI PICS
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Posted in:Jessica Alba

2012

10

Jul

Jessica Alba Twitter Bikini Pic of the Day


I woke up and turned on my instagram cuz I am only following hot girls who seem to post all kinds of bikini pics of themselves in a way that would make me wonder if they ever sleep or if they are in perpetual sun in a bikini, if I wasn’t too busy masturbating to their pics….and these Alba shots of her being a drunk in a bikini dropped that I decided to comment saying

I can see your boner….no wait that’s mine

To which she responded by blocking me.

Posted in:Jessica Alba