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Archive for the Jessica Alba Category

2010

02

Sep

Jessica Alba Needs to Go Back to Pregnancy of the Day

Jessica Alba needs to go back to babymaking, at least that will give her something she can pretend to be proud of, you know minor purpose in her life, cuz based on this recent publicity tour for Machete, she’s totally fuckin’ done.

Irrelevant and hated by all men for ruining herself with that whole hole in condom trick that brought her a kid that will never let her man Cash Warren leave her….

Remember, with irrelevance comes sex tapes….not that you want to see the mangled mom pussy, but I know I do….for reasons deeper than seeing a mangled mom pussy….and those reasons are that she had a no-nudity clause and I need to be reminded that when push comes to shove, all women are whores….even mothers trying to get noticed again….

Posted in:Jessica Alba

2010

31

Aug

Jessica Alba Promoting Her Comeback of the Day

I figured it was only a matter of time before someone gave Jessica Alba a hand out. She was a huge success at one point in her career and people were very into her….and by people…I mean perverts.

She was this cocktease whore who would get in her bikini and never anything less, and she kept her stock up, like any non-nude model before they get naked and see their online following drop, only in Alba’s case, she didn’t show pussy, she got pregnant…

Perverts tend to be loyal to girls they always wanted to fuck, or at least see naked, so if you put the bitch in whatever you are doing, there’s bond to be the leftover fans willing to watch, hoping they will finally get what they want….

So here she is showing off her little bloated belly that never quite bounced back to where it was and her deflated tits, cuz that’s what happens when you spend your days working out hoping to get rid of your bloated belly that never bounced back…..

Posted in:Jessica Alba

2010

27

Aug

Jessica Alba Lets Us Look Up Her Skirt of the Day

If you’re into scoping out mom pussy, you’ll probably like this. I unfortunately have this issue that no matter how bad I wanted to fuck the girl before she got knocked up, and not matter how well she bounced back from that pregnancy, I can’t look at her in a sexual way, at least not when I am sober, cuz all I can think about is her mangled mess that look like some kind of space alien, or accident victim, who may or may not have been badly burned, squeezed and harnessed into her underwear as tight as she can, so no one but her miserable husband have to know…

But this is still Alba, she’s still letting us look up her skirt, and mom pussy or not, and murdered career or not, it is still pretty fucking amazing…but not as amazing as her future sex scenes, cuz a bitch who once refused to nude scenes, may change her tune when nude scenes are all she gets….

I am now wishing she wasn’t wearing underwear, but that’s just cuz I am always down to get spooked by mom pussy…especially when I’m watching it from a voyeur angle….

Posted in:Jessica Alba

2010

26

Aug

Jessica Alba at Machete Premiere of the Day

I can’t imagine you care about Jessica Alba’s comeback tour now that she’s landed her first gig since being a mom in the movie Machete, you know since she’s let us all down and is dead to us. But I figured I’d put up the pictures anyway, to remind you all to not buy into her second attempt at a career, and encourage you to punish her for her actions by making her fade the fuck away….especially when wearing such stupid fucking dresses that don’t really give boners…something she’s been keen on since she’s become a mom…

She fucking sucks…no wait, she rips holes in condoms of guys she never wants to have leave her so that they stick to her uterus and make her babies….but that’s a form of sucking…just with less mouth.

Posted in:Jessica Alba

2010

23

Aug

Jessica Alba Covered Up and Insecure at a Photoshoot of the Day

Jessica Alba got booked to do a photoshoot, something she hasn’t really been asked to do for a while, you know since she committed career suicide by becoming a family woman thanks to an arrogance that came from all the constant re-affirmation, and she looks pissed. The paparazzi say it is because her stylist put her in some half naked outfit, an outfit her body probably can’t handle as well as she’d like it to, or as well as it used to and she proves that by walking around covered the fuck up like a fat chick at the waterpark, with a miserable looking face cuz she clearly didn’t win the fight. It’s a rat race out there and if you wanna make money, you gotta step the fuck up and strip the fuck down like the whore that you and your uterus are….

I’m loving these pictures, but that’s just because I love insecure girls, especially when they were the hot chick, like the time I slammed the captain of the high school cheerleading squad, 15 years after graduation, or what I like to call 15 years of getting fat, miserable, down on your luck, broke and pretty much as gutter as possible….but the whole time her sloppy tits slapped against her chin and I lost feeling from my waist down, I knew what she was and what she became and that kind of sad story will always be porn to me…

So here’s an angry Mom Alba bringing back the memories of what once was…..but she shouldn’t be so nervous and miserable…they are obviously gonna photoshop the shit out of her and the only people who have to see her stretch-maked ass and stomach are the poor fools on set….who I hope hate their jobs enough to leak the un-retouched pictures to me…

Posted in:Jessica Alba

2010

16

Aug

Jessica Alba Looks Sloppy When She Plays with Balls of the Day

Not only has this bitch pretty much killed her career and sex appeal while she was at her peak, but now, she’s not even trying to get the male attention that made her who she is and that helps her afford to pay her shitty fucking kid’s way. I don’t know what kind of message she’s trying to teach the kids, but it has a lot to do with giving up and putting no effort in whatsoever, hoping one day things will turn around, but when they don’t and she’s broke, she’ll always have the sex tape to fall back on, cuz even in 20 years we’d all watch that shit, even if we forget who Jessica Alba is, something I think is probably going to happen…at least that’s what this “on her period but wearing white pants anyway cuz at least it brings my boring life excitement now that I am lazy pig of a girl” outfit is screaming….

Either way, she’s playing with balls, not necessarily the balls you’d like to want to see, but I’m sure that day will come…you just gotta be patient and she’s gotta be desperate…it will happen…it always does…

Posted in:Jessica Alba

2010

11

Aug

Jessica Alba Seduces a Cop with Bullshit Acting of the Day

This cop is a fucking idiot….She is an actor. I can see past that “oops, I didn’t mean to” look….she’s working him like a fucking whore that she is trying to get what she wants and he’s just smitten that his menial bullshit job giving people tickets for talking on their cellphones finally had some purpose….all cuz he pulled over a celebrity, giving him a story to tell his wife who thinks he’s a fucking failure because the only reason he moved to LA wasn’t to be a cop, it just kinda happened after his attempt at an acting career failed him.

If I was in his place, I woulda gone for the blowjob, and sure a little ticket won’t give her the fear she needs to suck you off, so I’d also have to make up some crime that looks real serious, like maybe even hit her for murder, even if the victim was her career and sex appeal and the weapon was her pregnancy….give her the death penalty, even though I guess she kinda already gave that to herself…

Either way, here’s the only acting work she gets lately….

Posted in:Jessica Alba

2010

07

Jul

Jessica Alba at some Event of the Day

Here is Jessica Alba looking old and washed up because she is old and washed up…you know since she had a kid and is a mom and shit that she should have waited a decade before doing, but instead decided to throw away whatever jobs she had lined up as the hottest bitch in Hollywood, to be replaced by all the other sluts eager to get noticed who don’t have kids, and she did it all to trap a motherfucker and the whole thing depresses me, but if you look at this shit cross-eyed after a few drinks she looks almost like she did 5 years ago when she mattered.

Pics via Bauer

Posted in:Jessica Alba

2010

22

Jun

Jessica Alba is Still Hot of the Day

Just a heads up….I can’t testify that her pussy is still up to speed or even still a pussy after the baby, but the rest of her looks alright to me and that’s all that matters to me since I’m not trying to stick my dick in her gaping hole and not touching the vagina walls, I’m just looking at pictures of it clothed and that’s all I have to say about that….

Pics via Fame

Posted in:Jessica Alba

2010

04

May

Jessica Alba’s Mom Ass Crack of the Day

Here are some pictures of Jessica Alba playing mom to her kid since she is a mom now…not that you even remember who Jessica Alba is because she’s wronged you by taking the pregnancy plunge and quickly became insignificant…..

Which is crazy because her career relied on being the young, hot, half spic pussy who didn’t have a kid so everyone wanted a piece of, fantasizing about trying to give her a kid, but she let her emotions get the best of her and figured she had already made enough money if her career would end and knew she could afford to fade into obscurity if that was the worse case scenario, as long as she was locked into her man who was going to leave her prior to the pregnancy for life, but she is the kind of cunt who probably had an ego that didn’t even let her believe that her career would ever dry up, I mean she was the MTV award winner of best actor at least 10 times….i

Either way, like the hot moms on my street who worked back into their stripper bodies, bending their stripper bodies in a variety of hot positions while tending to their half-black stripper offspring, I like to watch but what do you don’t see in these pictures is her violated vagina lips dragging on the city sidewalk….she’s probably thanking god for pants…but I know I’m not…

Pics via Bauer

Posted in:Ass Crack|Jessica Alba|Mom

2010

22

Mar

Jessica Alba in Some Shorts of the Day

Jessica Alba has the ablility to make short demin shorts boring as fuck because making things boring seems to be her mission in life. It’s like we all want to see the bitch naked, even after her pregnancy, but we can’t manage sitting through the shitty movies, or go through the shitty pictures that make up her life….she always looks miserable and I guess it all stems from being the “hot chick” who doesn’t want to be the “hot chick” until she realizes she has no fucking money and has to go back to work and will be forced to realize that her only talent she has is that her mexican pussy can trap men, and she’ll be thrown back into a fuckin’ bikini where she was meant to be before she went of course thanks the love…

Pics via Fame

Posted in:Jessica Alba|Shorts

2010

18

Mar

Lookin’ Down Jessica Alba’s Shirt in the Park of the Day

I spend a lot of time in parks because parks are free, people leave you alone and there’s a whole variety of bullshit going on in them, whether drunks getting more drunk, crackheads doing more weird shit to trees, moms and their kids hanging out and playing, bending over and breast feeding or young couples fooling around and cuddling, thinking that perverts like me aren’t watching….There are girls suntanning, people exercising and even bitches doing Yoga…I’ve had sex in parks, seen people have sex in parks, jerked off to people having sex in parks, it’s better than watching a movie, and it is the ultimate escape from my shitbox I call home…

So when I saw these pictures of ex-actor who once had a ton of sex appeal before she let her insanity get herself knocked-up prematurely to trap her boyfriend who was leaving her, I was reminded all the good times I am going to have in the park, you know when lookin’ down a shirt is actually hot, and not just hanging onto a memory…..

Pics via PacificCoastNews

Posted in:Jessica Alba|Mom|Park|Tits

2010

05

Mar

Jessica Alba Shopping for Underwear of the Day

Jessica Alba was out shopping for underwear and no one cared because no one cares about Jessica Alba anymore and she only has herself to blame, see she was a the top of her game, the girl everyone wanted to fuck who couldn’t act, who was easy to replace cuz there are many hot girls in the world, but had so much momentum behind her that no one could really catch up, until she let her personal life get in the fucking way, and single handedly made herself obsolete by getting knocked up to keep her boyfriend who was about to leave her before she polluted her womb…Career Sucide, like real suicide is nothing to respect and I guess that’s why no one bothers with her except me, but that’s only because we have that Mexican connection despite her pretending she’s not Mexican….I guess she thinks we’re dirty….cuz she’s a snobby delusional cunt like that….at least the public are giving her what she fucking deserves….

Pics via Fame

Posted in:Jessica Alba|Shopping|Underwear

2009

11

Dec

Jessica Alba in Some Tight Shiny Clothes of the Day

It’s Friday, I have no patience for Jessica Alba or her stupid flashy outfit…I see girls like this everywhere, you know who take style to the next level of bad and try to squeeze into every fucking possible popular trend….it’s usually tacky fucking immigrants who don’t have much money or a fucking clue, and they’ve just managed to save up enough money to get the bootleg version of whatever is popular and in efforts to fit in they put it all on at the same fucking time like some kind of fucking clown, only Jessica Alba has enough money to know better. She’s got people to stop this kind of thing and should have people who advise her to flash her pussy every once in a while….but unfortunately, they dress her like Christmas ornaments instead…..and no one fucking cares…not even me….

Pics via Fame

Posted in:Clothes|Jessica Alba|Tight

2009

27

Nov

Jessica Alba Shows Off Some Back of the Day

I assume this was the view Cash Warren had the fateful night that he pulled out and came on her ass, only to have her run to the bathroom and turkey baste herself so that he could never leave her even though he tried so many times, because there comes a time in every man’s life when you realize the hot chick the world wants to fuck, is just the annoying bitch who constantly nags more than every other bitch and who doesn’t like giving head after a month of dating like every other bitch, and who doesn’t take it up the ass cuz she thinks its gross like every other bitch, she’s just easier on the eyes but not quite worth putting up with all the high maintenance bullshit that comes with her, until she mysteriously gets knocked the fuck up out of nowhere in some “Surprise….you’re stuck with me for life..motherfucker”…..

Pics via Fame

Posted in:Back|Jessica Alba