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Archive for the Jessica Alba Category

2010

16

Aug

Jessica Alba Looks Sloppy When She Plays with Balls of the Day

Not only has this bitch pretty much killed her career and sex appeal while she was at her peak, but now, she’s not even trying to get the male attention that made her who she is and that helps her afford to pay her shitty fucking kid’s way. I don’t know what kind of message she’s trying to teach the kids, but it has a lot to do with giving up and putting no effort in whatsoever, hoping one day things will turn around, but when they don’t and she’s broke, she’ll always have the sex tape to fall back on, cuz even in 20 years we’d all watch that shit, even if we forget who Jessica Alba is, something I think is probably going to happen…at least that’s what this “on her period but wearing white pants anyway cuz at least it brings my boring life excitement now that I am lazy pig of a girl” outfit is screaming….

Either way, she’s playing with balls, not necessarily the balls you’d like to want to see, but I’m sure that day will come…you just gotta be patient and she’s gotta be desperate…it will happen…it always does…

Posted in:Jessica Alba

2010

11

Aug

Jessica Alba Seduces a Cop with Bullshit Acting of the Day

This cop is a fucking idiot….She is an actor. I can see past that “oops, I didn’t mean to” look….she’s working him like a fucking whore that she is trying to get what she wants and he’s just smitten that his menial bullshit job giving people tickets for talking on their cellphones finally had some purpose….all cuz he pulled over a celebrity, giving him a story to tell his wife who thinks he’s a fucking failure because the only reason he moved to LA wasn’t to be a cop, it just kinda happened after his attempt at an acting career failed him.

If I was in his place, I woulda gone for the blowjob, and sure a little ticket won’t give her the fear she needs to suck you off, so I’d also have to make up some crime that looks real serious, like maybe even hit her for murder, even if the victim was her career and sex appeal and the weapon was her pregnancy….give her the death penalty, even though I guess she kinda already gave that to herself…

Either way, here’s the only acting work she gets lately….

Posted in:Jessica Alba

2010

07

Jul

Jessica Alba at some Event of the Day

Here is Jessica Alba looking old and washed up because she is old and washed up…you know since she had a kid and is a mom and shit that she should have waited a decade before doing, but instead decided to throw away whatever jobs she had lined up as the hottest bitch in Hollywood, to be replaced by all the other sluts eager to get noticed who don’t have kids, and she did it all to trap a motherfucker and the whole thing depresses me, but if you look at this shit cross-eyed after a few drinks she looks almost like she did 5 years ago when she mattered.

Pics via Bauer

Posted in:Jessica Alba

2010

22

Jun

Jessica Alba is Still Hot of the Day

Just a heads up….I can’t testify that her pussy is still up to speed or even still a pussy after the baby, but the rest of her looks alright to me and that’s all that matters to me since I’m not trying to stick my dick in her gaping hole and not touching the vagina walls, I’m just looking at pictures of it clothed and that’s all I have to say about that….

Pics via Fame

Posted in:Jessica Alba

2010

04

May

Jessica Alba’s Mom Ass Crack of the Day

Here are some pictures of Jessica Alba playing mom to her kid since she is a mom now…not that you even remember who Jessica Alba is because she’s wronged you by taking the pregnancy plunge and quickly became insignificant…..

Which is crazy because her career relied on being the young, hot, half spic pussy who didn’t have a kid so everyone wanted a piece of, fantasizing about trying to give her a kid, but she let her emotions get the best of her and figured she had already made enough money if her career would end and knew she could afford to fade into obscurity if that was the worse case scenario, as long as she was locked into her man who was going to leave her prior to the pregnancy for life, but she is the kind of cunt who probably had an ego that didn’t even let her believe that her career would ever dry up, I mean she was the MTV award winner of best actor at least 10 times….i

Either way, like the hot moms on my street who worked back into their stripper bodies, bending their stripper bodies in a variety of hot positions while tending to their half-black stripper offspring, I like to watch but what do you don’t see in these pictures is her violated vagina lips dragging on the city sidewalk….she’s probably thanking god for pants…but I know I’m not…

Pics via Bauer

Posted in:Ass Crack|Jessica Alba|Mom

2010

22

Mar

Jessica Alba in Some Shorts of the Day

Jessica Alba has the ablility to make short demin shorts boring as fuck because making things boring seems to be her mission in life. It’s like we all want to see the bitch naked, even after her pregnancy, but we can’t manage sitting through the shitty movies, or go through the shitty pictures that make up her life….she always looks miserable and I guess it all stems from being the “hot chick” who doesn’t want to be the “hot chick” until she realizes she has no fucking money and has to go back to work and will be forced to realize that her only talent she has is that her mexican pussy can trap men, and she’ll be thrown back into a fuckin’ bikini where she was meant to be before she went of course thanks the love…

Pics via Fame

Posted in:Jessica Alba|Shorts

2010

18

Mar

Lookin’ Down Jessica Alba’s Shirt in the Park of the Day

I spend a lot of time in parks because parks are free, people leave you alone and there’s a whole variety of bullshit going on in them, whether drunks getting more drunk, crackheads doing more weird shit to trees, moms and their kids hanging out and playing, bending over and breast feeding or young couples fooling around and cuddling, thinking that perverts like me aren’t watching….There are girls suntanning, people exercising and even bitches doing Yoga…I’ve had sex in parks, seen people have sex in parks, jerked off to people having sex in parks, it’s better than watching a movie, and it is the ultimate escape from my shitbox I call home…

So when I saw these pictures of ex-actor who once had a ton of sex appeal before she let her insanity get herself knocked-up prematurely to trap her boyfriend who was leaving her, I was reminded all the good times I am going to have in the park, you know when lookin’ down a shirt is actually hot, and not just hanging onto a memory…..

Pics via PacificCoastNews

Posted in:Jessica Alba|Mom|Park|Tits

2010

05

Mar

Jessica Alba Shopping for Underwear of the Day

Jessica Alba was out shopping for underwear and no one cared because no one cares about Jessica Alba anymore and she only has herself to blame, see she was a the top of her game, the girl everyone wanted to fuck who couldn’t act, who was easy to replace cuz there are many hot girls in the world, but had so much momentum behind her that no one could really catch up, until she let her personal life get in the fucking way, and single handedly made herself obsolete by getting knocked up to keep her boyfriend who was about to leave her before she polluted her womb…Career Sucide, like real suicide is nothing to respect and I guess that’s why no one bothers with her except me, but that’s only because we have that Mexican connection despite her pretending she’s not Mexican….I guess she thinks we’re dirty….cuz she’s a snobby delusional cunt like that….at least the public are giving her what she fucking deserves….

Pics via Fame

Posted in:Jessica Alba|Shopping|Underwear

2009

11

Dec

Jessica Alba in Some Tight Shiny Clothes of the Day

It’s Friday, I have no patience for Jessica Alba or her stupid flashy outfit…I see girls like this everywhere, you know who take style to the next level of bad and try to squeeze into every fucking possible popular trend….it’s usually tacky fucking immigrants who don’t have much money or a fucking clue, and they’ve just managed to save up enough money to get the bootleg version of whatever is popular and in efforts to fit in they put it all on at the same fucking time like some kind of fucking clown, only Jessica Alba has enough money to know better. She’s got people to stop this kind of thing and should have people who advise her to flash her pussy every once in a while….but unfortunately, they dress her like Christmas ornaments instead…..and no one fucking cares…not even me….

Pics via Fame

Posted in:Clothes|Jessica Alba|Tight

2009

27

Nov

Jessica Alba Shows Off Some Back of the Day

I assume this was the view Cash Warren had the fateful night that he pulled out and came on her ass, only to have her run to the bathroom and turkey baste herself so that he could never leave her even though he tried so many times, because there comes a time in every man’s life when you realize the hot chick the world wants to fuck, is just the annoying bitch who constantly nags more than every other bitch and who doesn’t like giving head after a month of dating like every other bitch, and who doesn’t take it up the ass cuz she thinks its gross like every other bitch, she’s just easier on the eyes but not quite worth putting up with all the high maintenance bullshit that comes with her, until she mysteriously gets knocked the fuck up out of nowhere in some “Surprise….you’re stuck with me for life..motherfucker”…..

Pics via Fame

Posted in:Back|Jessica Alba

2009

02

Nov

Jessica Alba is Dora the Explorer of the Day

For you perverts who get off to kids shows….and I know you fucking exist. Because anything you can think someone jerks off to, there is probably someone who has and really when it comes to Dora the Explorer, who really can’t find her dark complexion and little shorts hot, especially considering she is an explorer, something that usually translates into “Adventurous Enough For Anal”, something Alba probably should have channeled the night she flipped the used condom inside out after skipping her birth control pill to get knocked up to lock Cash Warren in for life, but instead was too emotional and scared of being alone.

We get it bitch, you’re a mom, you know kids shows, just shut the fuck up and put on some lingerie. Couldn’t you have been Dora the Whore Explorer or some shit, this is useless….step it the fuck up Alba, or should we just call her a series of constant disappointments….

Bonus – Cash Warren Standing Next to Ass

Pics via PacificCoastNews

Posted in:Dora the Explorer|Halloween|Jessica Alba

2009

09

Oct

Jessica Alba in Stupid Shorts of the Day

There’s no better way to cover up your disgustingly ravaged body for an ill-advised decision you made on a whim while sitting alone in your bathroom with a mouthful of cum after giving your ex a break-up blowjob in order to get yourself pregnant with your because he was trying to break up with you so that he could move onto move onto the newer teen heartthrobs after your fame and sex appeal was past its prime and on the fuckin’ decline, than a pair of oversized shorts.

Don’t get me wrong, I’d be more than happy to try to rebuild her vagina with my dick, or spend the night kissing the scars on her pussy from the birth better, but these pictures remind me of an old man at the hardware store buying gardening supplies….and last time I checked, that didn’t make me cum but probably could if I really focused because I am weird…

Pics via Fame

Posted in:Jessica Alba|Shorts

2009

01

Oct

Jessica Alba’s Got a Pug My Pug Wants to Fuck of the Day

As a pug owner, who is more like a pug’s personal assistant, because the fucker controls my fucking life ever since my wife brought him home from the shelter. I have to clean up his piss and shit, feed him, and pet him when he demands my attention, I feel like I should turn this site into a pug fan site, since pugs are a hell of a lot more interesting than celebrities and a lot more entertaining with their weird stupid faces that wake me up everyday when I am hungover and trying to sleep, but I guess I’m only saying that cuz my pug is my only friend….

But it turns out that Jessica Alba has a pug and that makes me feel the need to coordinate a pug-meet in her neighborhood, cuz nothing gets pussy like watching your hood pug fuck the shit out of a hollywood pug, even though my hood pug is far better lookin than this pug….and I guess she’s far better lookin’ than me, so together, we balance it all out…

Pics via Fame

Posted in:Jessica Alba|Pug

2009

31

Aug

Jessica Alba is Trying to Wash Away Her Dirty Sins of the Day

Based on Alba’s baby, it’s safe to say she’s a dirty fucking girl, because to have a baby takes cum attaching itself to a uterus and in order for that to happen, Alba had to pull the condom out of the garbage and put it inside out and shove the shit inside her at least 20 times before it actually worked, cuz Cash Warren knew she was skipping her pill to trap him, and insisted on using rubbers that he brought, sometimes doubling the fuck up just in case she poked a hole in the shit or one was to break because she lined her pussy with Vaseline or oil based lubricant that destroys condom or some shit cuz she was just that desperate to get knocked the fuck up and trap the man she convinced herself was her soulmate.
So seeing her with wet hair reminds me that like my friend who fucked a girl with AIDS, no matter how many times she scrubs herself down, even to the point of bleeding, the damage is done and she’s still got serious baggage in the form of a kid and despite how great being a stepfather is, it’s not something I recommend for masturbation fanatasies…..dirty girl.

Here are some pictures of her from last week bending over that I forgot to post…..

PICS VIA FAME

Posted in:Dirty Girl|Jessica Alba|Wet

2009

03

Aug

Jessica Alba Inspires New Mothers With This Body of the Day

It’s taken a while, but it looks like Jessica Alba’s gone and got her body back. I guess we can all stop hating on Cash Warren and calling him a muderer for killin’ her body and we can go back to sympathizing with him knowing that this bitch trapped the motherfucker for life, but at least she’s lookin good now while doin’ it.

Let’s just hope for everyone’s sake, the next time she lets a dude cum inside her that she has the decency to herself and the rest of us to get fuckin’ Plan B morning after pill, or better yet a fuckin’ abortion, because abortions are like porn to me, they are also a total relief and if I could, I’d devote my life to abortion, but unfortunately it takes years of schooling to be an abortionist, that you can work your way around if you want to get arrested. I’ve looked into it.

Here’s her body in her bikini for her big reveal you’ve all already masturbated to..

Posted in:Bikini|Body|Jessica Alba