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Archive for the Jessica Biel Category

2010

15

Jun

Jessica Biel’s Ass is in a Jumpsuit of the Day

I am into jumpsuits. I don’t think it’s cuz I have some kind of paratropper fetish, but more that I like how one piece of clothing can touch all the good parts, and when shit’s an inch too short, it jacks up the ass like some kind of hammock I want to take a nap in or harness specifically dedicated to giving the bitch booty….

Now I don’t give a fuck about Jessica Biel, her strength, her fake relationship with Justin Timberlake so people think he’s straight, or her fashion sense, career choices or pretty much anything about her….but I dick this outfit and how it’s holdin’ her ass up like something Kim Kardashian invented in her whore workshop to keep herself relevant…cuz everyone knows if you strap shit up proper, it looks proper…

Pics via Fame
Pics via Bauer

Posted in:Jessica Biel

2010

06

May

Jessica Biel’s Ass in Jeans of the Day

Here is the ass that Justin Timberlake sings to at night when it’s sleeping and he’s done watching gay porn. The ass that he tries to finger before she straps on and fucks him from behind so that he can smell her shit on his fingers while she has his way with him like the bitch you all know he is thanks to his angelic voice and Lou Perlman….in one of those reliving the memories of being molested as a kid that made him the riches he has….only now there’s none of that “Not fitting in” he had to deal with as a little boy that made him feel inadequate for not getting Lou Perlman off while Joey Fatone had no problem fitting Lou Perlman in….cuz Biel has a whole bucket full of strap-on attachments….those are just the perks of being rich….

Pics via Bauer

Posted in:Ass|Jessica Biel

2010

03

May

Jessica Biel and Her Short Shorts and Boots of the Day

Jessica Biel looks a hell of a lot less like a dude than she has looked the last few years, I guess she cooled down on the weight lifting and let her estrogen out to breathe and blossom and I am pretty sure Justin Timberlake is pretty upset about it, cuz no one who sings like the angel he sings like doesn’t like getting things shoved deep in his ass while tickling his balls.

Here are some pictures of her ass getting pushed into a car by Timberlake which is the same strategy I’ve used on bitches throughout my life…I mean a motherfucker’s gotta get laid …..

Pics via Bauer
Pics via PacificCoastNews

Posted in:Jessica Biel|Short Shorts

2009

25

Sep

Jessica Biel and Some Ill Fitting Pants of the Day

I never found Jessica Biel hot. I wasn’t like those motherfucker who fell in love with her watching Seventh Heaven, who never fully let that celebrity crush go and move on with their lives.
She’s just a little too rugged and strong lookin for me. I like my women to look weak and frail to run from me, not like they can run a marathon, build a log cabin from scratch and wrestle a bear and win all in the same day all in efforts to escape my penis.
And I definitely don’t find her hot in this outfit, but that’s probably because she’s dressed like the 75 year old science teacher I had who took me bird watching in a pair of Knickerbockers before raping me back when I was 12.

Pics via Bauer

Posted in:Ill Fitting|Jessica Biel|Pants

2009

04

Jun

Some Jessica Biel Outside the Letterman Show of the Day

I downloaded these pictures thinking her nipples were hard, or that she had a boner, or that something interesting was going on. You know a little tranny scandal to get the party started the only way I like parties started, but I was wrong, so instead I just had pictures of some bitch in a silky top showing off the body part she’s most proud of, like the faggot rich kids I was forced to sit next to a couple weeks ago who were so impressed with their gym work outs that they felt the need to check who had the biggest tricep over a bottle of Goose, in their Ed Hardy shirts, before I peaced the fuck out because it was fight of flight motherfuckers, and by fight I mean with myself for subjecting myself to that bullshit.

Posted in:Jessica Biel|Shoulders

2009

11

May

Jessica Biel’s Nude Scene from Powder Blue of the Day

I didn’t watch this full clip. No, I am not gay, I figure anyone who can get off to this girl could be be, but then again just because she’s rock fuckin’ hard, doesn’t negate that fact that she does have a vagina, so I guess I shouldn’t hate so much.

I just have no real interest in watching shitty staged stripper scenes by a hungry actor who is trying to stay relevant, you know, years after the stint on some shitty WB religious show that made her famous in the first place ended.

Getting naked for a role in a movie that is going straight to DVD is a bad fucking sign of where things are going for you, but then again I’ve seen a few actors pull out of the gutter after being involved in pure shit naked roles, so it may not be over for her, especially if she manages to get Timberlake to marry her, in which case, she’ll be set for life and always in the paparazzi eye.

So maybe this is just the nail in the coffin she needs to do what really matters and that’s poke holes in the condoms, skip her pill, and make Timberlake stick it in her vagina for a change, despite how gross he finds vagina, to trick the motherfucker into getting her pregnant. It’s really the only intelligent retirement plan, since her career is HIV Positive.

Posted in:Jessica Biel|Nude Scene|Powder Blue

2009

24

Apr

Jessica Biel’s Dancing Coach for Her Stripper Movie of the Day

Her name is Cati Jean, she coached Jessica Biel in stripping for that stripping movie she’s doing. I don’t think this bitch every strippers and is just a fake, because everyone knows that strippers die or burn out before hitting her age and never amount to legit careers coaching for movies. So she’s some professionally trained, educated faggot dancer perpetuating lies, making the public think stripping is this deeper fucking cause, when all it really is about is grabbing fucking tits and seeing fucking pussy. If anything I’d want Jessica Biel to be taught by some crackhead, weathered, professionally trained whore who is still stripping to pay for her addiction, or from some abusive boyfriend or pimp trying to exploit some desparate runaway pussy to ball hard…..at least that’d authentic.

Posted in:Cati Jean|Coach|Jessica Biel|Stripper

2009

20

Apr

Jessica Biel Naked in Her Movie of the Day

Jessica Biel gets topless for her new movie where she plays a stripper, that is usually a move an actor takes when they are peaking and by peaking I mean on drugs because their careers have nose-dived and they are trying to hold on for their lives. You know a desperate.

Sure, everyone hates on her for being manly and hard bodied, but call me easy, she’s topless and I’m sold, penis in those sheer full back panties or in Justin Timberlakes ass or not. I don’t care, I’m just pissed that she’s rockin’those panties, because nothing pisses me off than going to a stripclub and the bitch on stage doesn’t get fully naked until the last 20 seconds of her second show because she thinks she’s better than stripping even though it pays her and her deadbeat boyfriend’s bills. Cunt.

Posted in:Jessica Biel|Movie|Naked

2009

02

Apr

Jessica Biel Plays a Stripper of the Day

So Jessica Biel plays a stripper in her next movie and here’s some Access Hollywood segment that they did on her practicing for her role, because I guess stripping is a tough fucking job, that’s why every stripper I’ve met has been really intelligent, focused, talented and fit, and by all those things, I mean, a slut. It seems like Biel put a little too much effort trying to figure all this stripping thing out, when it is all really simple, all you have to do is take off your fucking clothes.

If I was Biel, I wouldn’t worry about her broad shoulders too much, there’s a strip club around here I used to go to that always had two female body builders on staff. They’d get on stage and do chin-ups, sit-ups, push-ups and make their titty do that pec dance, and they seemed to get constant fuckin’ work.

Posted in:Jessica Biel|Stripper