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Archive for the Jessica Simpson Category

2014

13

Jun

The Best Picture You’ll Ever See of a Fit Jessica Simpson of the Day

When I think of all the things in the world I would like to see…an up short shot of mom of two or three Jessica Simpson, pushing 35, after gaining a losing a ton of weight, before having a baby shat out of her, and that was just from all the ribs she was eating, before saying “I’m a legit billionaire, I can afford a cook and trainer to follow me around all day, and I have a multi million dollar contract with weight watchers I would like to collect on, maybe I’ll stop being lazy for a fucking minute and get my shit together, it only takes 6 months to get fit if you try”….kinda thing…

You see, that stretch mark filled mess…is not the promised land, it’s not the 90s anymore, if anything, it is a terrible fucking place that has seen terrible fucking things…but I’ll post this picture anyway, because virgin losers who read these sites are committed to specific girls, they are also in their 30s, cuz kids don’t need sites like this to find tits or ass…they just have to text the girls they know…and shit’s younger and fresher…new generation…

Posted in:Jessica Simpson

2014

27

May

Jessica Simpson in a Bathing Suit for Instagram of the Day

The key to not looking so fat – is making your shoulders look massive…

This reminds me of so many 50 year old waitresses I’ve met at various diners across america, really skinny, strong legs, with a barrel belly and big shoulders and arms…making for a weird boxy beer drinking body, that is built from all the running back and forth to and from the kitchen carrying heavy trays of food….

It’s not attractive, just middle aged and white trash, which I guess Jessica Simpson is despite being rich as fuck for being a fashion icon, and pop star ….

I mean if it wasn’t for her creepy, gay, stage dad who had dreams of being a showgirl as a little boy, dreams he channeled into his eldest prized hen, the only real reason he’d ever stick a dick in a vagina…that worked…she’d probably be working a diner too..

All this to say, weight watchers contract made this happen, otherwise she’d be 300 pounds, and now she looks like all the women I try to bang in Florida…which I am going to go find right now

Posted in:Jessica Simpson

2014

31

Jan

Jessica Simpson Photoshopped for Jessica Simpson Brand of the DAy

Apparently Jessica Simpson in a bathing for her billion dollar Walmart brand is a big deal…everyone is talking about it…

I think isn’t big on so many levels…from the amount of hours that went into the photoshop retouching…to the actually weight of each of her tits…to her hip to waist ratio…that when out of shaping bathing suits and while standing next to young hot babes you realize just how big she is…

Not to mention, the fact that she heads a billion dollar brand…is as confusing to me…as the fact that I am trying to masturbate to these pics…I mean maybe because they don’t even look like Jessica Simpson anymore…

All I know is skinny is better.

Posted in:Jessica Simpson

2014

30

Jan

Jessica Simpson’s Mom Cleavage of the Day

Jessica Simpson has always been busty, so that’s not going to change just because she’s had a bunch of kids and gained a bunch of weight….if anything that bustiness is gonna just get more busty and not in a good way…because if you’ve ever fucked a depressed, sad, sloppy, fat single mom, because you could, you will know her tits look more like the frozen vomit you left on her front porch…than something you’d masturbate to pictures of…

So sure, she is contractually obligated to lose a ton of fucking weight, and with that coupled with baby making…comes deflated boobs…and I guess this is what those boobs look like in a push up bra…not all that good right.

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Jessica Simpson

2013

04

Dec

Jessica Simpson is Boxy Christmas Mom of the Day

I kinda like how with the birth of her two kids, an eating disorder that involves overeating Texas BBQ, Jessica Simpson has the ability to look like a white trash mom in her 40s at her office Christmas party in her best dress she picked up at Sears for the occasion…

It’s like a Christmas miracle or some shit, that a mom could look like a mom…showing off some cleavage to distract from the fact she has no neck, probably harnessed into straps and shit…and the whole thing just reminds me how old I am, because there was a time Jessica Simpson was a serious babe…that time..has come and gone…but with every negative there is a positive, and in this case, the positive is new pussy that has replaced her…thank god for that…cuz she’s done.

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Jessica Simpson

2013

04

Nov

Jessica Simpson’s Huge Mom Tits of the Day

Today’s question is….If a Jessica Simpson wears a push up bra with her milk-filled mom tits that were huge prior to making babies…thanks to good old fashion texan eating…do they make a sound…or do they just sweat…like a pig on a hot summer day….and what it comes down to is that I’ll totally just stare at them…in all their fatness despite of her gut…because that’s just the kind of prevert I am…I’m all backwoods and don’t mind the well fed ones…as long as I am not marrying it or accidentally getting it pregnant…you know…but rather keeping things private…

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Jessica Simpson

2013

25

Sep

Jessica Simpson’s Fat Titties Live of the Day

Jessica Simpson has not eaten herself to death like she was Mama Cass…based on her baby weight that just became over-eating weight you’d think she woulda ended up like this dude having a heart attack in Turkey…

But instead she’s been able to pull her shit together and really look like the rich southern mom with a horrible body but the ability to showcase her massive tits to distract from the rest of her…

The kind of mom you probably would have got a boner for as a kid at your friends house while she was serving you lemonade or some shit…

The kind of mom you probably still get a boner for…because you see tits…and tits is all you need…

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Jessica Simpson

2013

21

May

Jessica Simpson Pregnant Pic of the Day

I don’t know why pregnant pics of Jessica Simpson bring me such joy….but they do…she’s a fucking tank…filled with fetus and Texan BBQ….and her ankles look like they are going to break from all the pressure and her pants look like they’ve taken on the biggest challenge of their pants life….because she really takes pregnancy and eating for two seriously…and the whole thing is fucking lovely….the beautiful glow of a pregnant woman….who is about to explode and splatter cake all over people in a 20 foot radius of her….

Normally pregnancy grosses me out…but today…it makes me laugh…


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FOLLOW THIS LINK

Posted in:Jessica Simpson

2013

07

Mar

Jessica Simpson is Having a Boy of the Day

The biggest mistake in trying to determine the sex of Jessica Simpson’s baby…is trying to determine the sex of Jessica Simpson’s baby….because you shouldn’t care about anything to do with

The other mistake in trying to determine the sex of Jessica Simpson’s baby is trying to interpret Jessica Simpson….when some retards just can’t be cracked cuz they are retards…

Not that you really have to interpret anything….since she announces she’s having a boy on the Kimmel Show…but I like to think it was more of a cover-up to her comment of “who knows a wiener could make me this nauseous”…..because I guess it is not very Christian to talk about dicks making you sick in reference to being cummed inside….

All this to say, why the fuck am I posting Jessica Simposn pregnancy news…that’s not erotic…and either was she in the making of this pregnancy….it was all greasy BBQ fingers and one too many beers….

Posted in:Jessica Simpson