Here are some pictures of a new Jessica Simpson with her ripped legs. The funny thing about being famous is that when bitch was 15 pounds fatter we all ripped into her for being a fat bitch who needed to lay off the ice cream sandwiches in John Mayer’s dressing room. Now bitch has committed to herself to working out, lost all the fat and has legs that remind me of a wrestler and the easy thing to do would be to dis her, but I won’t because I’d take a strong chick over a fat chick any fucking day, and if I could get my wife to fit into a pair of small shorts instead of the XXL sweats she currently rocks, my penis would be in a happier fucking place.
I used to go to a strip club that always had muscle chicks on staff. They looked nothing like a Jessica Simspon, because these bitches were the real deal. I am talking 30 inch thighs, huge biceps and the broadest fucking backs. I never understood why they were there, I think the manager was into that kind of thing or something, or maybe they couldn’t hold down a real job because they were too busy doing push-ups or some shit. Everytime they’d try to sell me a lap dance, I’d ask them how much it would cost to arm wrestle them instead. Unfortunately, these bitches didn’t think like dudes because otherwise they’d laugh and have a go, but they just looked liked dudes and thought the same way the other hotter strippers thought, like that they were some kind of goddess or fantasy who deserved my money for showing me her pectorals and clit the size of a grown man’s thumb…I never went through with it because I was scared, but I am sure they were really nice people.
Either way, here’s the Jessica Simpson in shorts rockin’ some solid legs I would still like to wear as a scarf.