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Archive for the Jessica Simpson Category

2010

20

Jan

Jessica Simpson Shows Off Her Big Bra of the Day

Here are some pictures of Jessica Simpson and her date…her bra…because it turns out her bra is the only support she has in her life. She has no fans cuz she has no career. Her family have all eyes on Ashlee who has this new bustling career, this seemingly happy marriage and this new baby who has proud much excitement and pride to the Simpson family, while Jessica has brough nothing to the family……She has no boyfriend cuz they all leave her, her husband is no her ex-husband and he is off with some immigrant leaving her with she has no one to pat her on the back, offer her a hand and help her back on her feet, no one to settle down and start a family with, no one to hug her when she feels sad and along, but she’s got her bra and that fucking thing looks like strong and like it will support her through everything….even a Haitian Earthquake….

Pics via Bauer

Posted in:Bra|Jessica Simpson|See Thru

2010

14

Jan

Jessica Simpson Showing Off her Tits of the Day

Jessica Simpson is lookin’ pretty fucking amazing….If you think busted up and broken down is amazing, which I do, because I like shit from the gutter, especailly when that shit in the gutter was once at the top, it means she’s fallen off her high horse, leaving her second rate to her sister who was already second rate to begin with, so I’m not sure where that leaves Jessica, I just know that the only thing she has going for her is that she’s gained a lot of weight, looks like shit and is rumored to be dating some freakshow from Smashing Pumpkins which is totally fuckin’ weird, but

Pics via Fame

Posted in:cleavage|Jessica Simpson|Tits

2009

24

Dec

Jessica Simpson Without Make-Up of the Day

Whoever told Jessica Simpson this was a good idea, needs to be fired….but at least she’s dressed like a Christmas present, which is only fitting because I hear when you unwrap her ass, it looks like sugarplums dancing in your head, smells and tastes like Christmas Dinner if it was blended and left in the sun for a week and has the constant discharge that has the color and consistency of eggnog….and I’d totally feast on this shit if given the opportunity cuz all I want for Christmas is to K-Fed her….

Pics via Fame

Posted in:Jessica Simpson|Make-Up

2009

22

Dec

Jessica Simpson and her Furry Coat of the Day

I wonder if Jessica Simpson maintains her pussy hair as well as she maintains her jacket. I figure as a recently fat chick, that means she’s going through some kind of depression, pretty much giving up on herself, partially because her sister is doing so well after living in her shadow for so long, partially because her career has gone to shit, partially because she can’t land a stable boyfriend to marry her and knock her up and partially because her dad’s insisted on using condoms now when he fucks her for fear that she hasn’t been taking her pill and knowing that she won’t buy the abortion line again cuz she is dying to be a mom and he can’t have that flipper baby be proof of where he dips his dick into what is his because he made it, but what society won’t allow him to use the way he wants to, even though he made it.

And…here’s a video of her fucking a candle with her ear, because she is an idiot and thinks it cleans our ear wax, which is disgusting, but also BULLSHIT and she’s doing it for a gay. It was posted on Twitter 2 days / 400,000 views ago…..in case you haven’t seen it….

Pics via Bauer

Posted in:Coat|Fur|Jessica Simpson|Pussy Hair

2009

04

Dec

Jessica Simpson’s Wet Spot as her Fat Ass Struggles to Get Out of a Car of the Day

After the last 4 hours staring at this picture of Jessica Simpson, I am pretty sure I see a wet spot in her crotch. I’m lying. I don’t think anyone has spent more than a few minutes staring at her crotch in the last 5 years, which is a huge part of why her jeans are so huge, another huge part of why she is so huge is that no one wants to marry her and knock her up, so she figures she’ll do it herself with cake, all while her younger sister is living a substantially better and more successful life than her, as she accompanies her dad, the only man who will love her unconditionally and the only man who can make her cum in under 7 minutes, because they’ve worked out a system after all these years of working together. He made this pussy and he knows it like the back of his fucking hand….mainly because he uses it as a glove at least twice a day.

I don’t know what I am talking about…I just like watching the fall of Jessica Simpson, only because I always like seeing fat chicks fall, as their struggle to get back up is always funny.

Pics via PacificCoastNews

Posted in:Fat|Jessica Simpson

2009

01

Dec

Jessica Simpson is Fat and Dressed Like a Disco ball of the Day

Jessica Simpson is my favorite emotional eater who was once relevant. The reason she is my favorite is because how broken she is and how we know it because it shines through in her dress size. Whether it’s gotta do with the fact that her cunt, useless sister everyone hated who was in her fucking shadow all these years has made a huge fucking comeback in her career from being on 90210 to getting a gig in the play version of Chicago, making her more successful than Jessica Simpson, but more importantly she is also happily married to a bisexual guy who doesn’t fuck her except to make babies that she is the proud parent of, while Jessica Simpson just eats and eats and eats cuz no one loves her and all her men leave her and even her dog committed suicide by getting eaten by a coyote to not deal with her heavy petting and her stupidity, cuz we all saw the reality show back when she was famous, and we all know she’s annoying as shit…

I figure in 20 more pounds, she’d be so low she’d be willing to bang one of us, so let’s start sending her baked goods, cuz we all know she’ll eat them as she cries….

Here she is dressed like a disco ball because I guess when you’re shaped like a ball, you might as well dress up like the most glamorous ball around…but what the fuck do I know…

Pics via PacificCoastNews

Posted in:Discoball|Fat|Jessica Simpson

2009

28

Oct

Jessica Simpson’s Hand Looks Like She’s Been Fistin’ Ass of the Day

Looks like Jessica Simpson was up to no good on her recent trip to India…like she shoved her hand up some Slumdog Millionaire ass because she came back all stained the fuck up. In her defense, she can’t land a man to marry her again, or have a family with her here, and her time is running out. All the cock around her has shriveled up just as fast as her career, so she went on some spiritual jouney to find out why and how she could change her destiny. Unfortunately for her, instead of meeting some high priest or expert at the top of a mountain, she asked some pervert she met on the street and motherfucker took advantage of the situation by makin her dig deep within him for answers….these pics are of the aftermath….

Pics via Fame

Posted in:Henna|Jessica Simpson

2009

14

Sep

Help Jessica Simpson Find Daisy of the Day

My heart is broken because a coyote took my precious Daisy right in front of our eyes. HORROR! We are searching. Hoping. Please help!

So while Kanye and Patrick were stealing the news headlines, this story went under the fuckin’ radar and it’s a real tragedy. Jessica Simpson’s dog Daisy has gone missing, it was eaten by a Coyote right in front of her and that is a kind of pain I just can’t fathom. I have a dog and it is all I love in this world and I’m actually married and not a total failure at relationships destined to be alone with my dog for life like she is, or I mean was, I mean until he was taken before his time.

If you have any information on this nature crime, email the right people, let’s solve this crime, let’s get on our knees and pray, our combined thoughts may make miracles happen….

Posted in:Dog|Jessica Simpson

2009

14

Jul

Jessica Simpson Sex Tape with Her Lover of the Day

These are some pictures of Jessica Simpson’s intimate relationship with food. You know when all she needed to feel sensual was an all you can eat buffet. Her animalistic cravings for BBQ meats, fried foods and the dessert cart lead to steamy, sometimes raunchy, often obscene and always hot nights together, until a few months went by and she realized not only could she not fit in her pants but that the world had turned on her after finding out about this lucid affair, forcing her to quit the shit cold turkey and hit the gym, turning a new leaf…one without the lover that still hangs over her head, but is now just a memory of a salacious affair she holds dear to her vagina.

We’ve got some screencaps of a filthy and raw and carnal night she spent with a chocolate bar. I’m excited to see what went down after the blowjob…I’m thinking anal….

Posted in:Jessica Simpson|Sex Tape