Here is Karen Mulder, some washed up model I wanna fuck and she’s dressed like a gay biker on Gay Pride weekend lookin’ for twink man pussy to gang rape. You know all leather all the time. Throw in a few poppers, maybe a little meth and ask the DJ to play your favorite song and we’ve got a fuckin’ party.
Sure at 39 years old you should probably be doing better, more responsible things with your time, like raising your 3 year old and not jacking your shorts in your pussy to make the shit sweat while too wasted to get it nice and lubricated enough to fuck in the bathroom, because shit doesn’t work the way it used to, especially when you’re drunk but I’m 40 and I’m not doing anything responsible because responsible is fucking boring and if anything I should try to befriend her so I can stop wasting my time with poverty parties and follow her around to party in luxury cuz she made her money when she was youn so that she could party into the fucking sunset, while I still have to steal from my wife to buy 40s.
So Karen Mulder, if you’re out there, let me be your Scully (I figured the x-files reference would give you virgins a boner, you’re welcome)……..
OMG!!!!!!!!!!! It’s Karen Mulder and her old wringled, moldy, rotting flesh, stagnant swamp, expired milk slowly turning into yogurt, pussy in a motherfucking bikini top and I don’t fucking care. Maybe you do…
The only exciting thing in all this is that she’s rockin out with that mutant lookin’ French Actress Lou Doillon and she was hanging with Kate Moss topless , making all me think St Tropez is a really friendly place where everyone can be friends, but after writing that out I realize how that’s not exciting at all….
Karen Mulder is some model who was big at some point in her career and tried to kill herself in 2002 by taking pills like she was Owen Wilson. IN 2006 she had a kid and I am reading wikipedia right now…..
Speaking of suicide and kids, I am always fascinated when a guy tells me he has a kid, it means that some girl liked him enough to keep his baby and I just can’t seem to grasp that concept, because girls never even liked me enough to have sex with me when sober, return my calls when, admit they ever banged me, or talk to me if they ever ran into me on the street.
Either way, I landed my wife because she was really fucking lonely and even she wouldn’t have had another kid to keep me around so I am pretty much this dude who will never have a kid because no girl would carry my baby and I will always remain fascinated with guys who tell me that a woman either wants their kid or has their kid, because it means they are doing something I am not and that they are by far more a man than I’ll ever be. I have low self-esteem but the only because after years of the same message being driven down my throat you realize that you suck at something, in my case life. I think it makes for good comedy.
At least better comedy than your depressing life… living the suburban life, with the suburban middle management job you hate, going home to your boring wife who is 35 pounds heavier than when you first met, and ugly kids… making your monthly payments on your house and car…over-extending yourself because you want to take the family to Disneyland, or because your kid’s in private school because you want a better life for him and you need to buy him designer clothes so he doesn’t feel inadequate amongst his peers…Or you’re living at home with your mom, unable to find a job, jerking off more than ever, spending your time online trying to find pussy but even the girls you pay to go on cam won’t show you their cunts…forcing your to carve a vagina into your bedpost, the same bed you slept on when you were ten, because that’s the only thing that would fuck you…….I guess there’s a lot funny about that..
Here are some pictures of Karen Mulder, the bitch who failed at killing herself because she takes life and herself too fucking seriously, while on a boat tanning in St Tropez because life is so hard on her….don’t take yourself too seriously, have fun with your shortcomings because if you can’t laugh about shit you end up being miserable, and there’s nothing fun about crying, now is there, pussy. I am pretty inspirational. I am like a modern day Batman…