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Archive for the Kelly Rowland Category

2010

01

Jun

Kelly Rowland Implants in a Bikini of the Day

I wonder how much Kelly Rowland resents Beyonce for leaving her behind and running off with her own solo career, because Beyonce is an ego and didn’t like sharing the stage with the other girls. Sure, Kelly Rowland made a ton of money, doesn’t have to work ever again, but you know how people are, they always want what they don’t have, and don’t appreciate what they do have, so everytime Beyonce’s name comes up, her insides just cry, leaving her with little else to do but spend her time getting implants and walking around on the beach, hoping that a rapper will miraculously sweep her off her feet and give her work like she was Rihanna, but I think it’s safe to assume standing under the sun is the only shine this popstar will ever get again…and here are the pics…

Here she is in some one-piece….

Pics via Fame

Posted in:Bikini|Implants|Kelly Rowland

2009

02

Nov

Kelly Rowland and Her Shitty Implants in a Bikini of the Day

Kelly Rowland got the shitty end of the deal with that whole Destiny’s Child shit, not that she didn’t make great money doing the whole Destiny’s Child shit, even though no amount of money would be enough to stomach hanging with Beyonce and her bullshit over the course of a bunch of years, but because her partner went onto have a solo career and acting career, becoming this phenomenon all while Kelly Rowland is stuck training for the circus because that’s the only place a clown like her can get work.

The real confusing thing in all this, and what makes this story even more outrageous is the fact that Beyonce was the fat one and everyone knows the fat friend is the one who is supposed to be stuck on the backburner and ignored until one night when she finally stands up for herself and asks her skinny friend to leave one guy for her for a change, and that dude just happens to be you, forcing you to go home with the fat manager and not the chick you initially planned on going home with. If you know what I mean….if you don’t I’m trying to say that the fat friend doesn’t usually take the fuck over, she usually gets forgotten, but in Beyonce’s case, she became a fucking machine because I assume the millions of fat chicks who feel like they’ve been wronged, or like they’ve lost out to skinny chicks out there supported her quest to get to the top, despite everything working against her fat ass.

Either way, I wrote too much about this, when really all this is about is Kelly Rowland on the beach in a bikini while working out with some dude…..I went a little off track.

Pics via Bauer

Posted in:Bikini|Implants|Kelly Rowland

2009

27

Oct

Kelly Rowland and the Smallest Fake Tits on the Beach of the Day

These are probably the hottest pictures I’ve seen on the beach in a long time, not because she looks good, or sexy or even worth fucking, but because if it wasn’t for Destiny’s Child, this bitch would just be pregnant in the projects, and I’m not saying that cuz I am racist or think that’s where all black girls belong, but she had an abusive alcoholic father and that’s just the fuckin’ stats motherfucker, so instead of working the welfare check line, she’s working the beach and living the decadent life, unfortunately, not working a hot bikini to show off her shitty small implants, because that’d make these pictures make a hell of a lot more sense…..

Pics via Bauer

Posted in:Beach|Kelly Rowland|Tits

2009

28

Sep

Kelly Rowland and Her Breast Implant of the Day

When Destiny’s Child disbanded, Beyonce the Ego who felt she carried the band because her dad was their manager and he obviously favorer her and went and launched a solo career that has led to acting jobs, solo careers and awards while Kelly Rowland her partner she came up with, went out and got implants.

That’s like when my friend I used to party, drink, do drugs and pick up girls with feel off the scene and got a job, eventually leading to making millions with his own company, while I just stuck around and got herpes only the herpes didn’t cost me 5000 dollars like Rowland’s tits, they were only 60 bucks, she was a cheap whore and I guess you get what you pay for, so take that all you assholes who landed with the shit for free, my strain is by far more luxurious.

Pics via Bauer

Posted in:Breast Implant|cleavage|Kelly Rowland

2009

09

Jul

Kelly Rowland’s Shitty Implants of the Day

Kelly Rowland spent her Destiny’s Child money on a set of fake tits. I think she should ask for a refund because they are clearly pretty fuckin’ shitty tit and she should spend that money on fixin’ her horse grill, because some of us like ridin’ horses, some of us like fucking horses, some of us even like betting on horses, but I’m pretty sure none of us like lookin’ like horses, especially not horses with bad tit jobs….

Now let me put it in terms Mr Ed will understand:

Naaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy you fuckin horsetoothed cunt…. NAAAAAAYYYYYYYYY!

Yes, I still haven’t figured out what I am doing….

Posted in:Implants|Kelly Rowland|Tits

2009

26

Jan

Kelly Rowland Was On The Beach of the Day

Kelly Rowland was out on the beach, doing the only thing that makes sense and that’s getting a little sun, because I guess she doesn’t feel dark enough now that’s she’s made all this money in the white man’s world by appealing to white girls. I like to call this shit getting back to her roots and keeping it real, even if the concept of black folk tanning makes no fucking sense to me. On a side note, she has fake tits and forgot her bikini, but you probably already figured that part out on your own. Forget what every teacher, boss, family member and friend has ever said about you being a fucking moron who will amount to nothing, you just proved yourself to be a genius to me and sure that may not get you anywhere in life, but sometimes that pat on the back is all you need.

Posted in:Beach|Kelly Rowland

2008

29

Dec

Kelly Rowland’s Fake Tits in a Bikini of the Day

Two people asked me if I was gay this weekend. Maybe the meds brought out the showtune performing poofter in me, maybe it was the fact that I was offering to send them a video of me fucking a tranny like she was Audrina Patridge, by sucking on her dick, which for the record, doesn’t exist, at least not that I know of, but I think it has to do with me constantly ripping apart female celebrity vagina, but not the kind of vagina ripping I am into, like it was my fucking job, not that it is, because I am not into work, for their imperfections. One guy asked me when I was going to turn the site into a Lance Bass Dancing with the stars man-pussy fan site, because I never say anything positive about these famous sluts, and I act like none of them are up to my standards, like I was trying to cover something up, like homosexuality, but it’s just strategy man, I try to lower their self esteem to increase my chances of licking their assholes while Lance Bass strokes his dick in the corner, because sex without Lance Bass is not sex at all, no matter what your orientation is, true story.

Here’s Kelly Rowland in her bikini…with her modest fake tits, with a fat chick to make her look skinny all because she’s insecure, the way i like them.

Posted in:Bikini|Fake Tits|Kelly Rowland

2008

28

Jul

Kelly Rowland Shows Off Her Fake Tits and Forehead in a Bikini of the Day

I don’t know why Kelly Rowland is at the beach, it’s not like girl needs a tan and every black person I know hates swimming because there was no pool in the projects they are from, just broken down fire hydrants they used to run through and that doesn’t really help you become comforable with sharks. They also hate getting their hair wet, even when they shower because it fucks up their relaxer or whatever the fuck they put in that shit, so Kelly Rowland’s really got no business being at the beach other than to get some attention by showing off the smallest set of fake tits ever purchased.

I blame Beyonce for leaving Rowland behind on her rise to the top. Now when you ask teenagers if they like Destiny’s child when you are trying to make conversation with them at the mall, they don’t know who the fuck you are talking about and look at you like you’re some kind of sex offender who talks to them about blowjobs on Xbox Live late at night.

I guess when you were once at the top, beggin’ for someone to pay a little attention to you isn’t worth laughin’ at, and you should all just make Rowland feel better about herself and take a good look at how skinny shit is…maybe you could even put it on the cover of a tabloid to help prevent her from following her career’s steady plung by jumping off her 18th story condo balcony.

I like to think I just saved a life. I am a hero like that.

Posted in:Bikini|Kelly Rowland|Tits

2008

06

Mar

Kelly Rowland Admits to Having Implants of the Day

So we all knew those of us who still know who Kelly Rowland is also knew that she got a new set of tits recently and now she admits that she went from A cup to a B cup and that she’s been thinking about it since she was 17.

She also said that she got the bigger tits because she couldn’t fit into designer clothes and figured that designer clothes was all she had going for her, that she might as well do it proper. If she had that same determination in her singing career as she does in dressing up, then maybe she wouldn’t have been Beyonce’s back-up singer scraping up media attention the easiest way she can.

I guess it gives young girls a great role model to look up to, now 14 year old girls everywhere who haven’t developed tits yet can feel inadequate and hate themselves at a young age.Dreams of wearing designer clothes will be shattered because they don’t have tits. and even even when they get boobs, they won’t be happy with them because they’ve hated them for so long they can’t see how good they actually are.

I predict the future holds very few natural tits and I’d blame it on Kelly Rowland, but I guess the truth is that she really isn’t that relevant anymore and breast implants or not, kids don’t give a fuck about her and the only thing these breast implants have changed is her underwear drawer.

Posted in:Breast Implants|Kelly Rowland|Tits