I wish the Pussycat Dolls were more honest in their name than they are, when I think of Pussy, I think of hot wet vagina, but for some reason these bitches just do tame, mainstream burlesque, and never actually show their pussies. So shit is a fucking lie. When I think of dolls, I think of the girl you will end up with, who isn’t actually a girl, but a 5000 dollar Real Girl who looks a bit like a girl and who never says no to sex, not because she’s a minx with a high sex drive, but because you are a rapist and its just your jerk your hand the next generation or some shit. The Pussycat Dolls should be called the Half Naked Cockteases, and when they have guest appearances from people like Kardashian, who are starving for press they change the Marquee to the “Ditchpig Immigrants”.
Kardashian is fat because she eats too much, she has no business dressing in lingerie, except when alone at home trying to feel sexy for a candle lit masturbation sessions, or when she gets down with black dudes, like she was a middle aged divorcee on Vacation in Jamaica lookin’ for a good time to help her get on with her life, but definitely never in public or on stage for people who paid tickets to see the shit like it was some kind of modern sexy freakshow at the fuckin’ carnival. It’s offensive to me and you encouraging her doesn’t help her or the obesity crisis, it just makes things worse.
Speaking of obesity, I went out drinking on Saturday, because I couldn’t kill my hangover and figured that drinking it was I do and when I drink consistently I don’t get hungover and as I was walking out of the bar drunk and tame, I walked into a group of Napolean small man syndrome jacked dudes punching each other in the face. I tried capturing the ridiculousness on video for stepTV but when one of the 5 foot 3, cocained-up, martial artist lame thugs saw me he got up in my face and threatened to take me down. As he was getting in my face, 5 of his mini men with biceps and tight shirts surrounded me like I was their next target and despite finding the whole thing to be a scene from a cartoon, I backed down because I am too old to fight 24 year olds for no reason. As they surrounded me, they were spitting out shit like “fatso” and he even went so far to call me “tits McGee” like some kind of trash redneck Canadian dis that was hysterically bad, I ended up getting out of the situation without getting hit, but about 4 minutes later I was innocently standing next to a hot girl and a dude walked by and said “your girlfriend is hot, but you’re fat”, the worse thing about that was that she wasn’t even my girlfriend, because if she was I wouldn’t have cared so much about being called names for no reason, because hot girls have that effect on me.
Either way, I went home with my tail between my legs, feeling like shit about myself, not because I didn’t already know I was fat, but because the world has little creativity when it comes to dissing someone, it’s like they go straight to the obvious. So instead of getting beat up about it and hitting the gym, I am going to make an effort in creatively cutting people down from this day forward, because there are a lot of assholes out there, I might as well be the best one.