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Archive for the Kim Kardashian Category

2010

24

Nov

Kim Kardashian is the Human Bathroom of the Day

This is actually funny to me. It is rare that this celebrity bullshit I write about every day ever makes me laugh… There’s just not campaign that makes more sense for a celebrity to be endorsing…you know it is so appropriate that you’d expect to see this on some stupid sketch comedy shot and not in real life…it is one of those things you’d think she’d have turned down and fired her agent for the sick joke when it landed on her desk and read “you will be promoting the Charmin toilet paper’s Bathroom” campaign, in a “come on guys, the jokes getting old” kinda way, you know because she is a fucking bathroom at least when she’s filming a sex tape….and that she’s had more black man urine on her than the toilets at Cook County Jail or pretty much all prisons combined for that matter…cuz getting pissed on is just the kind of degrading she loves…not that I am against pissing on girls…I’ve done it many fucking times….but I’ve never been able to organize a special event sponsored by a toilet paper company to draw attention to the fact that bitch likes being pissed on…I’m not a celebrity with big budgets and I don’t now corporations down to co-brand with a porn slut in unprotected sex videis, but I have pointed and laughed at the slut when introducing her to my friends.

Either way, this is one of those you can’t write jokes better than this, I mean unless you’re the marketing exec who snuck this one in without anyone noticing…good work….she just looks like she feels so at home….like she’s finally found her calling….like she’s one step closer to be an honorary toilet from the toilet paper people…It is like winning the World Series or more appropriate Superbowl in her field…get it? Yeah, I know I’m a genius…

Posted in:Kim Kardashian

2010

23

Nov

Kim Kardashian Showing Off Her Tits of the Day

I don’t know why Kim Kardashian is standing next to a tall bitch painted silver, but I think it’s a mistake…this is the reason fat chicks need to be photographed with people who are either way fatter than them, or alone but next next oversized couches, chairs or other props to make us think the bitch isn’t a fucking tractor trailer of a pussy….the second they slip up and give us an actual thing to compare them to, like this tall thin model who Kim Kardashian is a foot shorter and a foot wider than, the world learns how short and thick her body is…but luckily for her and the success of Snooki, people apparently like this kind of body, despite how small it makes your penis look while trying to enter them, because I guess fat bitches are more comfortable to cry on and less likely to leave you for lack of physical ability but more importantly cuz no one wants a fat bitch…

Posted in:Kim Kardashian

2010

11

Nov

Kim Kardashian Gets Recognized for her Business Skills of the Day

What people don’t seem to understand about Donald Trump is that as much of a business man as he is…he is that much of a showman. Meaning dude’s in it for attention and that is what makes his fucking business. So associating or inviting Kim Kardashian onto the apprentice is in no way a “high five” about her business skills or intelligence…but is totally about getting ratings to his show…because everyone knows that Kim Kardashian success came with a great publicist and a sex tape scandal. She’s a fuckin’ pornstar and nothing but a pornstar and as the days go by and her work and revenue comes from legit sources…she’s still a fucking pornstar….when you lower yourself to be in the sex trade…you are always a tainted fucking pussy…..and in Kim Kardashian’s case…also a urinal.

I just had to put this out there, cuz people tend to forget…and trust me if this was your girlfriend…and you found out she used to be a prostitute…you would think about it everytime she slide down your dick….and you should have the same anger towards this twat.

End of story. Here she is in a tight dress.

Posted in:Kim Kardashian

2010

03

Nov

Kim Kardashian With a Pull Sign of the Day

Here is a fat Kim Kardashian at the nail salon getting her nails done and I am only posting these pictures cuz I thought it was funny that it looked like she had a “Pull” sign attached to her back…Sure it’d be funnier if it was a public toilet sign that read “put seat down when done” or “don’t miss the target” a tacky mom put in her bathroom to motivate her kids to stop pissing on the floor, you know cuz Kim Kardashian had a sex tape where a dude pissed on her, but pull works for me…maybe cuz I know that’s what her pants she squeezed into are going through, or maybe cuz I know her belly is trying to pull it’s way out of the harnesses she wears to look like she’s got good shape…and really who cares, I’ve already spent too much time on this…Here’s everyone’s second favorite donkey looking pornstar in denial after that one you saw in that bootleg Tijuana donkey show video…

Posted in:Kim Kardashian

2010

01

Nov

Heidi Klum’s Halloween Party and her Guests of the Day

Apparently Heidi Klum does more than just get pregnant with Seal, but she also throws these Halloween parties and so many important people, like Kim Kardashian and Coco attend. I guess that’s what happens when you retire from the scene to be a family woman. I am not sure what she is dressed as, but I do know I can’t comfortably jerk off to it without feeling weird about it….

Here’s Kim Kardashian, still looking fat, even with her legs crossed and obesity strapped up in one of those harnesses they sell to fat chicks via infomercials late at night…the corset looks like it is gonna break, these costume grade shit’s aren’t meant to be used as functional fat chick shapers….

Here’s Coco lookin like Paris Hilton with tits and just being ridiculous, not necessarily justifying why she was invited to Heidi Klum’s party, but definitely justifying why I am compelled to look at her, like the elderly woman walking around in nipple tassels yesterday, I would have rather no bother staring at her or chasing for a pic, but her old lady tits just sucked me in.

Here’s Ashanti for those of you who like thick legs on a bitch who once had a hit song….which is probably all of you cuz pussy is fuckin’ pussy…no matter how low grade the meat is, we are hungry and need to be fed, except maybe for Ashanti who looks like she’s been fed plenty and that she’ll be just fine…

Posted in:Coco|Heidi Klum|Kim Kardashian

2010

29

Oct

Kim Kardashian is a Fat Chick Dressed Skinny of the Day

These are some weird pictures…

If Kim Kardashian wore her skirt any lower, she’d be at risk of showing the world all her straps and harnesses she uses to squeeze her into an “hourglass” figure.

If Kim Kardashian wore her bra any lower, she’d be at risk of it holding up her battered pussy life from all the negro dick, I’m talking deflated balless scrotum lips and dick shaped clit, instead of her big fat chick tits..

Trust me, I’ve seen bitches choked the fuck out almost on a regular basis a few years ago and I can tell you one thing by her facial expression that even botox can’t cover-up…and that’s that whatever is going on under the grey skirt is some serious fucking industrial strength spanx…

I guess all she needs to do to keep up this lie is keep dressing like she’s skinny, I’m sure she has a team of experts working on this all the time, cuz they’ve figured out that as long as her calves are in decent shape or she keeps wearing heels…no one will notice how fucking fat she is…

I’m eager to see her naked, without all the photoshop, cuz I have a feeling when all is let loose, it’s a fuckin’ disaster…I’m talking a Tsunami for the poor fucking who’s face is in between her legs when she unbuttons the floodgates that are her specially crafted in a lab by scientists underwear.

Posted in:Kim Kardashian

2010

22

Oct

Kim Kardashian’s Period Bloat in a Tight Dress of the Day

I know it’s not actually her period bloat and is just her bad diet, laziness and pig behavior that is going to catch up with her, especially now that she’s into her 30s and her metabolism is slowing down, but I thought it’d be nice to pretend she’s got period cuz we all know faces like that, no matter how well they are shaved, or how well they are made up, generally don’t have dick….

Oh right….she had that sex tape….kinda hard to fake black dick going in and out of her before pissing on her face…I guess this just proves that anything is possible…and that you can’t always judge a fat bitch in a dress by it’s cover…

I don’t know what I’m really getting at here…oh right…Kim kardashian is fat cuz you know that she’s strapped down and as harnessed up as a bitch could possibly be without cutting off the circulaition, rupturing an organ or dying and she’s still bustin’ out….

On a sidenote, how do you feel about my use of “oh right”?

On another sidenote…this bitch is big….

Posted in:Kim Kardashian

2010

18

Oct

Kim Kardashian’s Fat Tits Cry For Attention of the Day

Kim Kardashian made this statement, that I can only assume she is making to draw attention to her last nude shoot for W magazine ….

I don’t know (if I’ll pose nude again), I’m too old for that now…I wanted to get it all out of my system before I turned 30.”

My “style has evolved to be a little more sophisticated. It’ll probably just keep on evolving in that direction.”

Coming from a trashy attention whore bitch who launched her career doing a porn tape with a black dude who pissed on her and fucked her unprotected…this is obviously a fucking joke…She just knows how to work it enough for idiots like me to talk about it….

Posted in:Kim Kardashian

2010

18

Oct

Kim Kardashian Gets Naked for W Magazine of the Day

I don’t know what this picture is of…but apparently it’s Kim Kardashian totally naked for W magazine….which is typical because bitch built a career on getting fucked by a colored in video in her Kim K Superstar Sex Tape …but a little surprising because she’s the kind of whore who is trying to legitimize herself by not being a whore…or giving the public another taste of her nakedness….she even went after Playboy cuz they ran a pic of her a few months ago…proving that she’s just a publicity queen who loves any attention and as long as she gets naked, photoshopped or not…I’m down….even though I can’t stand this lazy, sloppy lookin scam artist cunt…

Either way, this is huge….literally….


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Posted in:Kim Kardashian