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Archive for the Kylie Minogue Category

2014

17

Nov

Kylie Minogue in Lingerie of the Day

The other day, I posted this video of Kylie Minogue behind the scenes of some underwear campaign…

I was fascinated by it because Kylie Minogue has been relevant since the late 80s. That is almost 30 something years of relevance…which seems scientifically impossible since at 25 a girl is officially washed up, and pre 18 you’re just a fucking pervert, meaning the actual career or window of masturbation opportunity for a girl is 10 years at best…making Kylie a freak of fucking nature….maybe her “cancer” treatments were more genetically modification making her some kind of robot….alien…or 50 year old I want to fuck…

Posted in:Kylie Minogue

2014

12

Nov

Kylie Monogue in her Underwear BTS of the Day

Kylie Minogue was in her underwear despite being 100 years old, and the crazy thing in all this is that she looks better than most 20 year olds, I guess cancer surviving makes you some kind of hot as fuck superhero…and the real weird thing in all this is that as an Australian, she’s not quite leathery or white trash enough, I guess that’s what fame and fortune does to you…it preserves you enough for me to want to masturbate to you…if only my penis still worked…

Posted in:Kylie Minogue

2014

11

Nov

Kylie and Dannii Minogue Sister Porn of the Day

Kylie and Dannii Minogue are Australian sisters you want to fuck, despite being old and in this scene far too long. I remember when Kylie was doing the Locomotion and it dropped in the 80s…it is the 2014s…that’s 30 years of this…and when Dannii was tired of being in her sisters shadow and started to start getting press for more than just being Kylie’s hot sister, like for doing such great things as – having good tits, even in the dark time Kylie was going through cancer of her tits…

It doesn’t matter, what matters is that they are rubbing each other like I always hoped they would, you know it’s not gay if we’re twins, it’s just masturbating, only we aren’t twins, so it’s just finger banging each other….whatever it is…it is good, despite them being 100 fucking years old…

Posted in:Kylie Minogue

2014

29

Jul

Kylie Minogue in a Bikini for GQ Italia of the Day

I don’t know what they did to Kylie Minogue during her Breast cancer treatment, but I can only assume that it was on some comic boook nerd shit, you know mix her with some radiation and she becomes some kind of superhuman, because this woman…is still fucking amazing, even if photoshopped and she must be in her 60s.

I feel like The Locomotion was back in 1985. I could be wrong, I have a horrible memory and I am too lazy to google the shit, which would probably end this post right here and now – when we all find out that she’s actually only 35….and just seems like we’ve known her and that we’ve wanted to fuck her for 4 decades…

I like the superhero angle better, not because of comicon week, not because I like anything comic related, but because I feel like if she was a superhero, she’d have a tight gripping vagina, and that’s better than worrying about her birthday year…or if breast cancer just gave her good fake tits…that she’s far less exciting.

Posted in:Kylie Minogue

2014

25

Mar

Kylie Minogue’s Hot in Some Magazine at 100 of the Day

The other day Kylie Minogue reminded us that Breast Cancer didn’t rob her of her femininity…but rather did the opposite because she’s hotter than ever and I am all about her SEXERCIZE VIDEO despite memories of her in the early 90s making it hard for me to be into someone born the same decade as her…you see, because she’s old as fuck…

But here she is in some magazine, looking amazing, like some kind of freak of nature who can’t really be australian, since every Australian I know, turns into some kind of shrivelled looking sun damaged alligator-faced monster that could have killed Steve Irwin, if the stingray didn’t beat them to it…

So I’m here thinking maybe the cancer treatments also killed the aging process, or maybe she’s now some genetic freak, but ultimately, none of that matters, what matters is that she’s perfect.

Posted in:Kylie Minogue

2014

21

Mar

Kylie Miogue’s Sexercize Video of the Day

I feel like I did the locomotion in the late 80s, when Kylie Minogue was in her 20s, meaning that she must be in her 70s now, and for 70, she’s looking pretty good.

In fact, she’s looking better than most girls in their 40s, at least in this in Gym white Leotard erotica that features twerking, humping the dildo swiss ball, it’s a real sex toy, and all kind of other moves that remind me of every time I work out…

It was filmed by Roman Coppola, and they did good…It’s up on some Call On Me, work out erotica. I watched it on mute…because I don’t like Kylie Minogue’s music as much as her cancer surviving, but I will say that this makes me want to hang with more 70 year old bitches at the gym…a little geriatric aquarobics motehrfuckers.

Posted in:Kylie Minogue

2014

31

Jan

Kylie Minogue Spinning Properly of the Day

Like a gay man working on getting fit enough for his HIV ridden South American import he’s trying to get a work visa for…I have done a spinning class once…and I did survive…

My motivation…was to be locked in a room with sweaty babes in tight clothes…

What I experienced was not so many sweaty babes in tight clothes…but more fat chicks trying to be sweaty babes pig in the city….and at least one of them kept farting…

What I didn’t experience was proper heels and tight dress apparel like Kylie Minogue brings…

Kylie Minogue may barely exist since the cancer, but shit…she still brings it.

Posted in:Kylie Minogue

2013

12

Dec

Kylie Minogue Legs in Her Red Bottoms of the Day

OH shit…Kylie Minogue, who must be a robot because she still looks good at 75, I mean I remember doing the locomotion in the 80s, and she was running shit then…not to mention she survived cancer with her tits…and now she’s showing off her red bottom shoes like some stripper or fame whore or ghetto club girl on instagram…and I don’t really have a foot fetish, or heel fetish, or expensive shoe fetish, but I do when it involves someone who is not wearing pants…cuz skin pants are my favorite…

Posted in:Kylie Minogue

2013

17

Oct

Kylie Minogue’s 2014 Calendar of the Day

Breast Cancer survivor Kylie Minogue has a 2014 Calendar out, which makes sense because she’s in her 40s, and still remembers a time when calendars were relevant, and people did not have computers or smart phones…you know a simpler time when creepers would put their favorite pin-up in their locker at the shop, or in the garage they worked at, because knowing the date comes in handy while counting the days off until you die…

I don’t know if this is a breast cancer campaign, which would make sense, because why would she need the 500 dollars she’ll make selling these to her 8 fans who would actually pay for this…while the other 30 fans she’s got will wait until 2015 when they can pick it up for a discount….

But I do know that she’s looking pretty fucking awesome considering everything she’s been through, like being born in the 60s.

If that doesn’t excite you – because Calendars are Some Dated Shit – Here’s a fashion video she did for GQ Germany…

Posted in:Kylie Minogue|SFW

2013

16

Aug

Kylie Minogue Holding Her Tits for POP Magazine of the Day


I guess Kylie Minogue was having a flashback to her pre-cancerous tits, because she posted this 2006 POP magazine cover on her instagram for Throwback thursday, of her grabbing at her tits…

I kinda get the vibe that this is framed on her wall, as a tribute to what was…not that she really had tits then, or doesn’t have tits now and I am just assuming that when they found the cancer, they took out her nipples, as they often do, like she was Angelina, because that is the responsible thing to do…

But I guess with or without her nipples, she’ll always have this cover..and she looks pretty amazing, good enough for me to book a trip to Australia in a time machine yo..cuz I can do the locomotion…but I’d rather she does it…on my face.

Posted in:Kylie Minogue

2013

25

Jul

Kylie Minogue Rockin’ The One Piece of the Day

I guess it makes sense that she’d be in a one-piece, with being 90 and all.

I respect that unlike other 90 year old bitches who have even a worse body than Kylie the Cancer survivor, she’s in the one piece…rather than half naked in a bikini….not that I mind anyone in a bikini…I just think at a certain age, the classy thing to do is never even think about putting one on…

I get it, old bitches like competing with young bitches, usually their daughters, to feel like they still got it…but there’s really no contest, and even if they are fit, they really always come in second…so deal with the awkward tan lines…take the high road…and remember your bikini days are behind you….and now all you have to look forward to is death.

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Posted in:Kylie Minogue

2013

10

May

Kylie Minogue Slaps Her Own Ass on Twitter of the Day

Kylie Minogue posted this stupid picture of her slapping her own ass, in what I call Technology making triplet fantasies come true for those bitches who aren’t triplets but who you wish were, except there’s not enough eating herself out or fucking herself with a strap on to really make it count…remember it’s not incest if you’re from the same litter, it’s masturbation and it is definitely not incest if you were photoshopped to look this way….

Boring, I know. Posting it anyway. Deal.

Posted in:Kylie Minogue

2013

28

Jan

Kylie Minogue Gets Sexy For Australia Day of the Day

It’s nice to see that cancer didn’t get Kylie Minogue down…unless it was just a publicity stunt to justify why her pop albums were awkward….seeing as she was in her 40s…pretending it was still the fucking locomotion….

When it doubt blame it on cancer…I mean it’s something I’ve been doing for years in efforts to get free meals at restaurants….free movies…and free trips to Disneyland….

But cancer or not…she’s a survivor…and more importantly a patriotic as she’s doing her country like it was a record exec in the 80s before she got her first deal….rocking this Australia flag in her Australia Day pics….like it was a cumshot….

Posted in:Kylie Minogue

2012

23

Oct

Kylie Minogue has a 2013 Calendar of the Day

I am confused by the fact that Kylie Minogue has a 2013 Calendar…I am going to assume it is for some breast cancer charity bulllshit she is involved in…because she survived breast cancer…and fighting breast cancer is a charity I support..because I like titties….even when they are fake….

I am even more confused by the fact that I want to masturbate all over each and every month in it…

Posted in:Kylie Minogue

2012

28

Sep

More Kylie Minogue Artsy Erotica of the Day

I don’t know if this is for a Breast Cancer campaign – since she had breast cancer – or if this is a midlife crisis that makes her want to get involved in some artsy half naked shit cuz it makes her feel like she’s doing something substantial…and really I don’t care…I’m just glad it happened.

Posted in:Kylie Minogue