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Archive for the Lily Allen Category

2009

16

Feb

Lily Allen and Her Panty Flash of the Day

I am a hypocrite. I am inconsistent. I am full of shit. I’ve been making fun of Lily Allen the last 2 years for no reason other than it being easy because she’s foreign.

I’ve acted passionate about having this hatred for her that I never really had, truthfully, like all things in my life, I was pretty indifferent, but if you read my shit about her abortion/miscarriage and the other evil jokes I made about her, you’d think I had a picture of her on my living room floor that I’d shit on daily until the smell got too bad that I’d be forced to hunt her down, kidnap her, and make her clean it up with her mouth.

But I was never phased by her, so today when I saw these pictures of her showing off her stomach as if to say to the radio host that that is where the baby lived before it fell out of her (got sucked out of her) and these are where she’s been letting her pet ferret suckle because she has the urge to feed something and since the baby is no more, shit’s gone sour, like the Milk in my broken fridge that I drank anyway, so I can relate.

Maybe our connection is obesity and a love for food and drink, maybe there is no connection, maybe I do hate her but just got tricked by a clever interview I saw with her, maybe I like making fun of her, because I really just want to be her friend, at least for today today, but I do know that unlike everyone else, she writes her own music, is successful with her own music, and you can’t hate someone who’s successful for doin’ their own thing, their own way and who clearly doesn’t take herself too seriously and can laugh and enjoy the ride, which is al lot more than you can say for these American celebrity cunts out there. I’m talking to you LOHAN and friends, not that Lohan has friends, but you know what I mean.

Posted in:Lily Allen|Panties|Uncategorized

2009

02

Feb

Lily Allen Shows Off her Barren Ass in a Stupid Outfit of the Day

Lily Allen is stepping up the whole Lady Gaga shit by wearing one piece outfits that show off her fat barren ass. First they manage to make me hate my life every time I leave the house and hear their music on every fucking radio station in every fucking public place that plays the radio. I am talking sodomizing my fucking ears like I was in a back alley with no way out in the wrong part of town with a very strong ex-con who has a taste for man pussy. Now, they are really trying their hardest to turn me off of the one piece of clothing that touches pussy/ass/tits at the same fucking time, something I once found fascinating but with every photo set that comes out like this, is becoming harder and harder to appreciate.

BONUS – There was as snow storm in the UK that turned out to be a great photo op for Lily Allen to go play with kids and show how wholesome and maternal and fun she is, even though they aren’t her kids because decided to end her pregnancy through smoking and drinking induced miscarriages/abortions. Selfish pig.

Posted in:Ass|Costume|Lily Allen

2009

29

Jan

Lily Allen Recreates Her “Miscarriage” With Her Mouth of the Day

These are some pictures of Lily Allen doing the best impression of what her vagina went through back when she had her miscarriage (abortion).

Let me walk you through what’s going on here, you know try to relive recreation with her, since we weren’t with her when it really went down, because she hates us:

In picture 1, she’s showin the fetus coming out of the vagina.

In picture 2, she’s sayin’ “woah, that wasn’t normal, what’s the smell, I feel a little lighter on my feet, there’s a little more hop to my step, get me another drink man, I think I’m losing my buzz”.

In picture 3, upon sobering up a little and realizing what the puddle on the ground was, finally grasping the concept of being free of all responsibility and decides to give the whole “Fuck you fetus parasite, you can’t stop me by gripping onto my uterine wall with your little maggot claws, I’ve got a vacuum cleaner on my side, you had no chance, now get me another fucking drink wanker…”

You liked how I threw in wanker didn’t you, it made it more British.

What didn’t rock, was probably the show she played after these pictures were taken, because no one cares about Lily Allen anymore except me.

Posted in:Lily Allen|Miscarriage|Silly

2009

19

Jan

Lily Allen’s Stupid Hat and Ass Crack of the Day

Lily Allen was out showing her ass crack in her stupid hat and I can only assume it’s got to do with having a broken vagina. You know, like the virgin I used to hang with who would still suck dick and get with dudes, but her vagina was off limits, only Lily Allen’s no virgin, she just has anxiety about getting a dick near her after what happened last year. She sees cock as a weapon that destroys hopes and dreams by planting it’s seed and ripping it out from under your fingers when sitting on a toilet or on the hospital bed with a vacuum up your box because the pregnancy came at an inopportune time.

Posted in:Ass Crack|Lily Allen

2009

10

Jan

Lily Allen Picture of the Day

I decided to start a new feature that will probably only last this one time, so take it in, shit’s limited edition like all those street wear kids like their shoes to be. I came across this picture from a week ago of my favorite chubby UK singer with a barren uterus and cocaine addiction, Lily Allen and her very old “I have daddy issues because the man I am fucking has grey hair and a middle-aged beer belly” making out on the beach, but this picture was in the set and it was just too funny to not post. And that concludes the Lily Allen Picture of the Day

And here’s the grey haired dude she’s fucking setting up this shot because he’s a fucking pervert who clearly likes girls who know how to get a good abortion/miscarriage.

Posted in:Beach|Lily Allen|Picture of the Day

2009

06

Jan

Lily Allen Could be Topless on a Yacht of the Day

It looks like Lily Allen may be topless for a fraction of a second on a yacht when changing and the paparazzi were there to get the beautiful picture. Sure, you can’t see her fucking tits and that’s what makes it such a beautiful shot to me, because nothing about Lily Allen topless from the front is worth seeing.

I hear whenever she sees water her throws off her top, in hopes of jumping in and having a couple of stray fish swim up to her and suction on to her nipple and start sucking, it’s the closest thing her hormones get to filling that need she has to feed the relatively new born baby she would be feeding had things worked out a little differently. I mean other than grabbing random babies she sees off the street and shoving them up her shirt, but that gets embarrassing and is pretty much criminal.

Here are the boring pics….

Posted in:Lily Allen|Topless|Yacht

2008

23

Dec

Lily Allen is Topless on the Beach of the Day

Lily Allen brought her cankles and really thick lower body out to the beach and figured it’d be a good idea to show the world her uneven tits her baby will never suck on, because she ended it’s life with a big ol’ vaccuum cleaner, because the guy who knocked her up peaced the fuck out after realizing that if she looks this sloppy at 22, imagine what hell the future holds for him, not to mention her drinking, smoking and drug use, woulda probably made the fucker some kind of retard, and no one needs that guilt of institutionalizing it hanging over their head all their life, so I guess it all works out in the end….except for Lily Allen, who’s all alone, because no one really cares about how she feels about this whole thing, especially when we already know what her tits and body look like, and it’s safe to say you’d feel really disappointed if you had picked her up before she was famous and was working as a receptionist behind a desk somewhere, only to go meet for the date to discover she’s fat chick from the waist down…

The only amazing thing in this picture is how good a job she did of stuffing her unborn fetus back inside her to feel like she’s still a mother-to-be and not a murderer and not having it’s little fetus arm or leg or head poking out into her bikini bottom.


To See More Pictures of this Slut Topless Because I Don’t Want to Get Sued
GO

Posted in:Lily Allen|Topless

2008

19

Dec

Lily Allen in a See Through Stomach Exposing Top of the Day

So Lily Allen decided to bust out her classiest Jackie-O outfit and hit the streets showing the world her barren stomach. I get a lot of hate for laughing about her miscarriage because I don’t think she actually had one and if I am wrong, which I don’t think I am, she was drinking and smoking and pretty much was responsible for that shit. So when I say things like “here she is walking without her baby because it was never born”, or if I say “here are her nipples making an appearance hoping to find the baby they were hormonally ready for before it was rudely taken from them”, or when I say “her body still looks 4 months pregnant, maybe she pulled the miscarriage out of the toilet and stuffed it back in her because she can’t accept the loss just yet”, I don’t mean to offend all the people out there trying to have babies but instead are dealing with constant disappointment and sadness because their bodies aren’t taking shit well, I do mean to offend Lily Allen for being an irresponsible fat chick who would have made a horrible parent and probably made the right choice, but we can still laugh about it because I know no tears were shed over this, maybe just minor inconvenience.

Either way, here she is showing off her body and I must be horny becaue I find these pictures kinda hot, but in my defense, I find a lot of disgusting things hot.

Posted in:Lily Allen|See Through|Stomach

2008

18

Dec

Lily Allen and Her Miscarriage Fish Nets of the Day

Here are some pictures of Lily Allen in a homemade Coco Chanel shirt that I find kinda funny, because a bunch of years back, I did the same thing with a marker and a white t-shirt, only I didn’t do Coco Chanel, I went with Nike, because I wanted people to think I was into fitness and not trying to make some kind of commentary on designer clothes being a waste of money, despite Lily Allen’s closet probably consisting of more designer shit than anyone you know, leaving her in no position to get all ironic on our asses, if that’s even irony, because I am not a fucking English teacher and I don’t do definitions, but you know what I’m saying, it’s like a chick with implants stuffing her bra, or maybe it’s not like that at all, what do I fucking know, I’m hung over….

The good news is that her pantyhose to a good job keeping the fetus she’s been too emotional to flush and that she instead shoved back inside her in place. It’s like trapping the fucking thing in a net so it doesn’t run away like she’s on a fucking fishing trip, if you know what I mean….which you don’t because I don’t.

For the record, she may look like a dumpy short legged troll, but I’d still fuck her.

Posted in:Fishnets|Lily Allen|Shorts

2008

05

Dec

Lily Allen’s Miscarriage Ass Goes Shopping of the Day

Here are some pictures of Lily Allen wearing the panties she should have kept on when she got knocked up and was forced to abort the mission because the relationship with the baby daddy went sour and because she was more into feeding herself liquor and drugs than breast feeding babies, so that’s why she’s out not shopping for baby clothes. It’s really too bad this short legged dumpy ass didn’t take fertilization when she had a chance, because based on how she looks, the next time around, provided her uterus wasn’t damaged by a botched abortion, will definitely be with an opportunist lookin’ to K-Fed a bitch, than someone who truly loves her or finds her attractive, because I know ugly girls get laid, because guys are horny as fuck, and sometimes guys get locked in and marry the ugly girls because they have no other prospect and they like the sex and are in too deep and don’t like being alone, but those ugly girls aren’t famous and don’t have guys knockin’ down their doors to get a date with them because they are famous, so the future of Lily Allen will be her being used for her money and not for her pussy like all other girls and I guess when she figures all that out, it’ll sting, probably a lot less than the regrets of her abortion….

Posted in:Ass|Lily Allen|Miscarriage|Panties

2008

03

Dec

Lily Allen is Babyless and Out of Gas of the Day

January 18th of last year, Lily Allen had a miscarriage. As a 22 year old pop star, miscarriage is code for abortion, they just don’t like using the word Abortion, because it pisses off her pro-life fans. The cause of the baby in training’s death doesn’t matter. The fact that she’s into hard drinking, smoking and drug use just means the dead baby is better off being a dead baby. What does matter is that on December 1 of this year, Lily Allen wasn’t carting around her 2 month old baby, making a stop at the gas station to fill up her minivan, because she never had to get one and that’s a good thing, because bitch can’t even keep gas in her babyless car, leading me to believe that she probably wouldn’t have been able to keep her baby fed and alive for very long if she hadn’t ended the pregnancy, so I guess someone needs to let her know that the mourning process is over and she can stop the emotional eating because America like their popstars a lot less tubby than this bitch.

Posted in:Babyless|Lily Allen

2008

20

Aug

Lily Allen Nipple Slip Brawl of the Day

Lily Allen doesn’t like bras but she does like brawls.

Here she is coming out of a club drunk with her nipple floppin every which way, not because it’s looking for a baby to feed because it’s still got remnants of the sour milk from her short lived pregnancy, but because she doesn’t give a fuck if the world sees her tits because she’s given up.

It’s like this woman I knew who tried so hard to have a baby for years and years and who ended up killing herself because of the emptiness she felt. Near the end of her life, it was pretty obvious she had given up, not only was she doing tons of drugs, but she was also walking around her apartment complex naked, and one day even went grocery shopping in her undewear, unshowered and was taken to the psych ward, that didn’t do a whole lot of good for her, because when she got home she ended it all.

The truth is that all that was crazy, but not nearly as crazy as her toilet that was filled with blood and fetus from her last miscarriage that she refused to flush and would sleep next to at night calling it Charlie the name she intended to give it while screaming and crying. It was a fuckin’ horror show, but she’s in a better place now with all those dead babies.

Unfortunately for Lily Allen, she’s not in a better place, she’s just falling apart, self-medicating and fighting, I hope the girl on the receiving end realizes that she’s dealing with a muderer, it’s one of those never fight someone you don’t know cuz they may have a weapon situations, only in this case Lily Allen’s uterus is her weapon, shit kills babies and that’s pretty fucking psycho. Either way, here’s her nipple.

Posted in:Lily Allen|Nipple|Slip

2008

07

Aug

Lily Allen Nipple Slip of the Day

This isn’t so much a nipple slip as it is a nipple lookin’ for a baby to feed because it was jacked with maternal hormones before rudely having the baby taken away from it when it prematurely killed itself after realizing who its mother was. Just notice how ready it is eager to feed, long after the little milk it started producing when Lily Allen was pregnant dry up like her murdering womb and her career.

The truth is that Lily Allen is only giving us all the finger because we just witnessed a really personal issue she’s been having with her tit for the last year because it is mad at her for pretty much firing it from its life work and she is embarrassed by its behavior in public. I guess some people have an easier time forgiving people for drinking and smoking and killing off their unborn kid, especially when it wasn’t actually a miscarriage but an abortion because her relationship wasn’t working out.

I guess who really cares. I know I don’t.

Posted in:Lily Allen|Nipple Slip

2008

23

Jun

Lily Allen’s Long Luscious Miscarriage Legs of the Day

I feel bad because I’ve been writing some pretty ripping commentary about Lily Allen’s miscarriage and that brought me happiness over the last few months, because I am a sick motherfucker. Unfortunately, a reader reached out and told me that they worked at the abortion clinic where Lily Allen got her baby sucked out of her and that it wasn’t a miscarriage at all.

at and now I feel bad about making jokes about the baby life wrongfully taken from him. He could have been the next president of something, inventor, Nick Lachey, the possibilities were endless but some selfish cunt decided to take the vaccuum to the motherfucker like some it’s some dust bunny in the corner of the room. Abortion is completely disgusting and unacceptabe and nothing that should be laughed at, just something that should be protested.

Either way, I doubt any of the 5 of you who reads this site work at Celebrity abortion clinics, in fact, I highly doubt you have jobs and stealing change out of your mom’s purse doesn’t count as work no matter how chanllenging it is. But here are some pictures of a stalky Lily Allen rockin’ out and by rockin’ out I mean discreetly giving us the finger like we were the fetus in her womb all while rockin’ her stupid cotton candy hair, cotton candy the baby she murdered won’t ever be able to eat, so Lily Allen’s guilt is making it up to him by only eating cotton candy and other sugar based delicacies, that’s how she stays so tight bodied, and by tight bodied I mean look’s a lot like the dude who played Willow .

Posted in:Lily Allen|Stalky

2008

04

Jun

Lily Allen is a Drunken Pink Haired Mess of the Day

Since Lily Allen’s dreams of being a mother were rudely ripped from her uterus, she has decided to follow her other dream of being a drunken clown it’s one of those things when you can’t have children of your own because of fetal alcohol syndrome always giving you miscarriages, at least you can make them smile while wearing funny wigs at birthday parites before sexually harassing the moms and throwing up all over your emotionally wrecked self and getting carried away by the dad’s at the party.

On a sidenote the man who is carrying Lily Allen is actually a past winner of a strongman competition and early today has suggested carrying a drunken Lily Allen be one of the challenges because he hasn’t felt this kind of burn after a good work out since the time he tried to pull a dump tuck 100 yards.

Here are her before and after shots, which are more dramatic than mine because I fall somewhere in the middle at all times, doesn’t matter how sober or drunk I am ….I am always a mess, but at least I can always manage to stumble home without the help of a carrier.

Posted in:Drunk|Lily Allen