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Archive for the Lily Allen Category

2009

20

Oct

Lily Allen Topless on her Hotel Balcony of the Day

I don’t really follow Lily Allen’s life. All I really know about her is that she’s a little fat, her songs are a little annoying, her talent is really fucking questionable, her parents are hooked up in the entertainment industry in the UK and that she’s just another typical rich girl who wants people to notice her because her parents were too busy living their own lives for her.

I do know that a couple of weeks ago, she went to Twitter and said she was retiring, probably because she realizes that she’s peaked, or maybe it’s got to do with other things, like drug addiction or bi polar disorder that leads her to fucking homeless dudes, before walking out to the balcony to contemplate suicide naked, because she’s done enough living, only to be saved by the homeless man she fucked, because he realizes if she dies, he won’t get the free meal she promised him, and the whole thing is like a scene out of a really boring movie, but at least she’s topless and doesn’t give a fuck if people post pics, cuz her world has become self involved and self absorbed meaning no one but her and her pain matter, the kind of crazy I fucking love…..

Posted in:Hotel|Lily Allen|Topless|Venice

2009

22

Sep

Lily Allen Shows Off a Good Look For Her Ugly Brethren of the Day

I always hate on Lily Allen, but she is the least offensive or nauseating or whatever word you want to use for this new generation of popstars, because she isn’t in denial that she’s a fat pig like Katy Perry and Lady Gaga are, and she doesn’t try to put herself out there to never disappear, pretty much polluting my life like Katy Perry and Lady Gaga are, and if anything, I think she hates herself as much as I hate her which is nicer than Katy Perry and Lady Gaga who think they are the fucking gods of the world because everyone around them sucks their dick and the best thing about all this is that she even covers her ugly face when walking around, so I don’t have to be bothered by it. So let her be a pop idol cuz more girls need to take her fuckin’ lead.

Pics via Bauer

Posted in:Brown Paper Bagged|Lily Allen|Ugly

2009

14

Sep

Lily Allen’s Shitty Tits in GQ of the Day

The only thing good about seeing Lily Allen topless in a magazine is the hope that an actual hot girl who I actually want to see topless will eventually show off her tits in the magazine. The other good thing about it is that it is a reminder to all the companies who call me a porn site and refuse to give me money, depriving me of the life of luxury I feel I deserve from all the hard work I’ve put into the site by sleeping in pretty much everyday the last 5 years, that tits aren’t fuckin’ pornographic, they are just hot, except in Lily Allen’s case, where they are just some kind of cruel joke, like when this homeless dude shoved his dick down my throat one night when I passed out drunk, only without the taste I couldn’t get rid of for a week, since I’m pretty good at forgetting horrible things, and really how bad could this really be, I mean it’s a picture of fucking tits, shitty or not, they are still tits. Right?

Posted in:GQ|Lily Allen

2009

21

Aug

Kate Moss and Lily Allen Smoke Weed With Kids of the Day

I am all for getting high, gettin drunk and fucking in front of kids because I figure they are never too young to learn the good stuff life has to offer and I figure they are too young to realize what is going on Sure, I don’t smoke weed anymore cuz it makes me bug the fuck out and I don’t really hang with kids on the regular cuz my stepkids are grown up, but there was a time when I did smoke weed and I didn’t try to hide it from the kids, I’m sure I even encouraged them to do drugs, but I am not a celebrity so this shit is just irresponsible parenting, not that anyone ever thought that Kate Moss the drug addict who is never with her kid was a good parent in the first place, let’s just hope this gets the kid taken the fuck away from the authorities….and if the weed isn’t enough reason for that, then the fact she hangs with Lily Allen should be….cuz Lily Allen is fucking garbage…

Posted in:Kate Moss|Lily Allen|Weed

2009

10

Aug

Kate Moss’ Nipples Hang with Shitty People of the Day

I guess Kate Moss’ nipples realize that her prime is behind her and it’s all downhill for her as her body slowly gets more cylindrical, her career gets less and less work and the men in her life do less and less heroin, and I guess that depresses them because they’ve lowered their standards in who they hang out with, because everyone knows only someone suicidal would spend their afternoons intentionally with a twat like Lily Allen and that’s all I have to say about that.

Posted in:Kate Moss|Lily Allen|Nipple

2009

02

Jun

Lily Allen Brings Out Her Tit to an Event of the Day

Lily Allen is really negligent with her tit lately, but I guess not as negligent as she was with her uterus last year when she mysteriously got pregnant than wasn’t pregnant.

I wrote a post on this subject yesterday, when she was caught tanning and rubbing a chick down topless I figure I don’t need to go into an analysis of Lily Allen’s sour milk filled tits a second day in a row…so look at the pictures while I hate myself for having to post on Lily Allen tits instead of sucking on real tits like I want to be doing right now.

Posted in:Lily Allen|Nipple|Tit

2009

01

Jun

Lily Allen Tanning Topless of the Day

Making fun of Lily Allen’s lifeless tits is getting boring. We all know she was pregnant once, they filled with milk and then the baby was exterminated, whether it was intentional, you know at the abortion clinic or unintentional, you know after a night of hard drinking and cocaine use, leaving her tits unsure of what to do, so they slowly soured and deflated, because they were tricked into thinking they’d be of use, only to have that purpose ripped away from them.

I guess she’s found some other use for them, cuz here she is using them to distract us from her floppy gunt, or whatever the hell is going on where her womb once lived happily before being violated by the vacuum cleaner.

Posted in:Lily Allen|Topless

2009

21

Apr

Lily Allen Looks Hot of the Day

I was almost going to say that Lily Allen looks hot, not because I was trying to be clever and she’s walking around in a blanket, like the time I thought it’d be funny to wear a full ski suit to a picnic at the park so that people would think I was crazy and give me free food, but because she’s coverin’ up that busted face, but then I realized I can still see her short, think, heavily downloaded legs and I’m not really able to see past that. This bitch needs to put a picture of her friend Lindsay Lohan on her fridge and get thinspired, she’s trying to be famous and obesity may have worked for Oprah, Rosie, Roseanne, that bitch in what’s eating Gilbert Grape, Lily Allen to date, John Goodman and probably a lot of other people, but I never jerked off to any of them on a regular basis and I figure real success people should be looking for is directly tied into what I jerk off to.

On a sidenote, I was teasing her on twitter today, this is what I said…not that you care…and either does she, cuz I didn’t get an answer….

@lilyroseallen please don’t take your clothes off cuz you’re shameless and that’s what it takes to get famous. I am not ready for that vag.

@lilyroseallen oh shit – i forgot – @perezhilton already posted your pussy. I guess to make his bisexual readers take the gay plunge.?

Yes, my site is about following useless, unattractive popstars I hate today.

Posted in:Hot|Lily Allen

2009

07

Apr

Lily Allen and Lohan Cover Womanizer of the Day

I haven’t been keeping track of pretty much anything the last couple of weeks, because I don’t really care. I read Lohan and Ronson are broken up, I read Ronson is getting a restraining order because Lohan is crazy and on drugs, and I did a google search to see if Lohan has died yet, because she hasn’t called to wish me a happy birthday and that’s so unlike her, you know since she’s never called to wish me a happy birhthay, or called me for anything for that matter.

I ended up coming across this video, that 300,000 people have seen, so I am not really quick on the shit, but apparently Lohan got on stage with Lily Allen at her concert and if you can stomach seeing this fat broken uterus in offensively tight shorts, you’ll see Lohan get on stage and sing along with Lily Allen awkwardly, probably because she knows that Lily Allen is good friends with Sam Ronson, and Lohan’s done gone nuts.

Why did I just write all this?! I really couldn’t tell you.

Posted in:Lily Allen|Lindsay Lohan|Womanizer