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Archive for the Lindsay Lohan Category

2013

09

Oct

The Lohans Riding Citi Bikes of the Day

I don’t know why, but seeing the Lohans…in all their cocaine fuelled glory…trying to look normal in this obvious paparazzi photo opp that you know they tipped the paparazzi off on…so that these would exist and that their broken down family would look like they’ve overcome all their demons and now are just doing normal person things….like what they should have done when Lohan was a kid, rather than whore her out to the industry for money…because it’s never too late to find your childhood…

The whole thing is just bullshit staged PR, and I think that’s what makes it better, because you know they are all still getting wasted…and they are all still broken down people…but when on bikes, in pics…smiling…and acting…they look like the nuclear family…from the 50s…before the nuclear meltdown….

I am into it…but in my defence maybe I just want to sniff her bike seat.

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Lindsay Lohan

2013

18

Sep

Lindsay Lohan’s Fat Thighs in Leggings of the Day

This just in…Lohan’s thigh in leggings is looking kinda fat..because either she’s got coke bloat like she was Chris Farley…or so many fat coke heads before her…or maybe the medication she’s on has some fat chick side effects….or maybe just maybe she’s sober and taking up eating again…but I don’t care…I would still link every square inch of her, and this weight gain just means there’s more lohan to lick…I mean I’m so into this girl, I’d do it during a herpes outbreak while she’s on her period…I’m a fan….which is probably gross to some of you, but sounds a lot like heaven to me…

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Lindsay Lohan

2013

05

Sep

Lindsay Lohan Big Tits in a Crown for Fashion Week of the Day

Lindsay Lohan even though her face tells a different story…and she’s at fashion week at some event wearing a crown, because she’s the queen of her own life, now that she’s been pumped full of bullshit therapy we all know she doesn’t listen to because she’s too far gone to really ever recover….and her face is too far gone to ever really look her age again…but the good news is when she dressed in a dress like this…her face just doesn’t matter…but rather them big fake titties do…

The sick thing in all this is that I think she’s the hottest bitch around…and I’ve seen the Canyons, a movie I hoped she got ploughed down in, because it was so bad, even with the nudity, you’d leave it hating her…but for some reason, I reason I call nostalgia and no standards…I think she’s fucking perfect…

I like to believe that one day she will win an Oscar, but hope things fail for her and she ends up sitting on my face…cuz that’s one disgusting piece of flesh I am willing to taste…

To see the rest of the pics CLICK HERE

Posted in:Lindsay Lohan

2013

19

Aug

The Lindsay Lohan vs. Oprah Interview Preview of the Day

You may hate Oprah, because you are a racist and you don’t feel like black people should succeed, especially not at her Oprah level…or maybe you just hate her for being an opportunist cunt who has convinced the world she is trying to save people, or really get to the bottom of the issues, when really she’s just exploiting down on their luck motherfuckers for their own personal gain, like this Lindsay Lohan they are pushing hard…because everyone cares about Lohan, since we’re all brain washed and the real issues of the world just don’t matter, whereas Lohan’s drinking and self destruction does…

The highlight of this video is when Oprah tells Lohan that she’s extremely talented, unlike all the other actors, even though acting doesn’t require talent…or more importantly, when Lohan goes off about how she has a gift to give the world, through shitty movies like The Canyons, that I actually watched and hoped for a drug overdose the entire fucking time.

I mean sitting and watching two delusional cunts talking about how they’ve changed and how much better they are now or that there is a higher purpose for them…is a whole lot of fucking crazy…

But I will say this, I love Lohan even though she’s turned her back on our love, I love her tits, even though they aren’t real, I love that her skin and face is back..and I am ready for her to win an Oscar in the comeback story doesn’t matter…while Oprah remains porn to me, ever since she was the only thing on TV one afternoon and I figured, I’ll give ‘er a go to this thing…..

TO SEE ALL THE PREVIEW CLIPS IF YOU CARE AND YOU DO CLICK HERE

TO SEE HER TITS IN THE CANYONS (GOOD TITS/WORST MOVIE EVER) CLICK HERE

Posted in:Lindsay Lohan

2013

16

Aug

Lindsay Lohan Selfies of the Day

Lindsay Lohan is back…and she’s taken to the internet to post a few selfies…selfies that are unlike the selfies I am usually a fan of…because they don’t involve her poppin her booty out, or touching her toes, or topless, even though at this stage of her career, they probably should. It would do some good for her…and for me so that I could masturbate to her…like it was 2004 and we were dating in my mind…while she was busy cheating on me with everyone in LA with or without herpes …slowly destroying everything about her…from her body to her soul…I’m just bummed she doesn’t look 45….

Lindsay Lohan, I still remember….Never forget…Send Nudes.

Posted in:Lindsay Lohan

2013

02

Aug

Lindsay Lohan Naked in The Canyons of the Day

Lindsay Lohan is a fucking star.

I don’t care how hard she falls off, she will always be Lindsay Lohan, and in being Lindsay Lohan, she’s got rockin’ amazing tits…

She’s also got a well oiled machine…literally…where everything is strategically leaked and released and planned in efforts to have the biggest impact and the good news is that this time around on her comeback tour, she’s more naked that usual…You know less about the flashing her pussy at clubs, and more about being naked in movies.

I am sure she wants to be working, and winning Oscars, and taken seriously, and not in the media as some tabloid joke…so this is how it’s done, or at least attempted to be done.

The sex is shitty, but believable, I mean just cuz she fucked a lot doesn’t mean she fucked well.

The movie looks like a pile of shit, but I’ll probably see it. It’s my duty as he number one fan who believes in her awesome natural looking implants….even though part of me hates her for abandoning our friendship…

She didn’t book Lovelace people, but she can still get naked in movies people. She’s Lohan, anything is possible….somewhere out there there is a man with a camera willing to shoot her naked…like this guy right here.

I’d say fuck The Canyons and their leaking lohan nudes for attention, you know a little marketing, but I love me some Lohan….

Ultimately, she’s got the best tits in the game, and no matter how hard she’s fallen off, they will always matter, they will always be there to carry here, or act as a life vest when drowning, both figuratively and literally…and purchased or not, they are glorious.

Lohan, if you’re out there, I may have to start stalking you again…I don’t even mind her dead eyes and porn quality face surgery, if anything, I really like it.

Here are the clips…apparently they are pretty gay.

Here’s the trailer if you care to learn more about this movie, even after seeing the good parts.

If you are looking for a Lindsay Lohan Experience, take my man Foetus La Plantain’s 4 step plan to experience Lohan without Lohan’s involvement.

1- make an old roast beef sandwich and heat it up in the microwave until its all dry and leathery
2- add cottage cheese to it for texture,
3- fuck the sandwich with my eyes closed while licking a dirty ashtray
4- listen to patty and selma from the simpsons.

its like you really there…..

Share your Lohan experiences with us in the comments…

Posted in:Lindsay Lohan|NSFW

2013

11

Jul

Lindsay Lohan’s Comeback in The Canyons of the Day

I am a firm believer that Lindsay Lohan will win an Academy AwardI am a firm believer that she will be making a comeback….I am a firm believer that a star as bright as her can’t ever be turned off…I am also a firm believer that Lohan and I are connected at the soul, I am also a firm believer that aliens live amongst us, that AIDS is a myth, that the smell of cheese between my wife’s legs is edible and not unhealthy…and so many other irrational, even crazy things…I am also totally inconsistent, but I will say this…Lohan is in a bra in the trailer and I like it…because her breasts are the most important thing to have happened in the 21st century…and that is one thing I know for sure…even if I don’t know much, but I know I love her…and that may be all I beed to know.

Posted in:Lindsay Lohan

2013

02

Jul

Topless Tribute to Lindsay Lohan for Her Birthday of the Day


If you’re like me, you probably forgot Lindsay Lohan existed.

Which is too bad, because for the longest time I was her biggest fan, I would leave her creepy voicemails and post them to YOUTUBE….and I even became her text message buddy, that lead to me spending a night in her hotel room once, drinking her Vodka and eating her sweet potato fries while she danced to her album that never got released…but then she officially fell off…turned 25 and it all ended…leading to nonsense stories of Rehab and court dates, that made the damage less fun, more repetitive, and if anything just a disappointment…

I like when girls are fucking messes, especially rich girls, it is fun and inspiring, it’s office “I Don’t Give a Fuck, I’m Too Broken”…but unless they take ownership of it…it gets boring fast..and they disappear…even to those of us who really loved her fucking tits..

Well she’s 27 now, old as fuck, this is the year for her to die like she was Cobain, even if to most of us she’s already dead.

I have hope…that there is another round for this one….and if there isn’t, at least we have her amazing tits to remember her by….

Happy Birthday Lohan. This is your year.

If you’re wondering what has happened to her – I am going to assume she’s gone off and had a baby and we have the exclusive footage right here…

Posted in:Lindsay Lohan|NSFW

2013

15

Apr

Lindsay Lohan’s Crackhead Instagram Coachella Pic of the Day

I guess Lohan is having fun at Coachella, cuz she posted this crooked ass picture of someone who is either her or her sister in a bikini, probably trying to fuck with our minds, or I guess it is possible that she’s fucked out of her mind, because her whole drug use, addiction, going to 90 days in rehab thing when she gets around to it, and when commercial, garbage, corporate sponsored music festivals in the desert are over, and I think the whole thing is funny. Whether she is master minding us or whether this is just her idea of a joke or if she doesn’t know what right side up is in more than just her driving, it is all perfect to me.

So pretty and peaceful by my pool right now with my brothers and sister @codylohan @mikelohan @alianataylor

Posted in:Lindsay Lohan

2013

12

Apr

Lindsay Lohan is Amazing at the Scary Movie Premiere of the Day

Lindsay Lohan, despite all the botox, is amazing and I’m not just saying that because I love emotionally damaged women who look beat the fuck up, sad, and in need of being saved by a pervert like me, all ready to pounce on them, because the fact is, no matter how broken Lohan is, she’s still Lindsay Lohan and she still makes a lot of money, lives the celebrity life of luxury, so fuck her and her problems and fuck anyone who feels sorry for this trainwreck, she’s the only with the last laugh, because she’s still fucking Lindsay Lohan, something I’d like to be doing, without a condom, like I was Sam Ronson’s dick.


TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS
FOLLOW THIS LINK

Posted in:Lindsay Lohan

2013

10

Apr

Lindsay Lohan Talks Rehab with Letterman of the Day

David Letterman asked Lindsay Lohan about rehab, because I guess he’s at the stage in his career where he doesn’t have to walk on eggshells and avoid questions the publicists outline that he can’t ask when agreeing to do his show, because he’s David Letterman, and it’s his fucking show. Not that Lohan has a publicist, I mean she’s pretty much at the bottom of the barrel, but I still think she’s fantastic, just not quite as fantastic as Letterman taking her to an uncomfortable place, and not pulling back, until he saw he wasn’t getting anymore out of her. I would have been a little happier if this ended in a cocaine fueled fit of rage, with chairs thrown, hair pulled, security called, but everyone kept their composure, even if you can see the war going on in Lohan’s head as she deals.

She’s the best.

Posted in:Lindsay Lohan

2013

08

Apr

Lindsay Lohan’s Hot Enough Instagram Pic of the Day

Lindsay Lohan posted this picture to Instagram reminding me that she’s a delicate flower behind all the botox and fillers she gets at her plastic surgeon’s despite being 25 years old, but more importantly, that she was sent here from heaven, with the ability to make enough money to buy great tits, that I think could save the world, if only she used them for good, and by world I mean me, and by using them for good I mean rubbing them on my cock.

Seriously, seeing her in a robe, making sad faces, all done up, like a pornstar on a porn set, is pretty awesome, so awesome I hope this dream I am seeing comes true, and that the rest of the pics of the football team showing up to gangbang her to see if she still feels, come out tomorrow.

Lohan is a babe, a haggard, washed up, self destructive, career ruining babe, but a babe none the less and I want to marry her, at least for a publicity stunt to put me on the map.

Lohan is still the girl I’d stalk if I wasn’t so lazy.

Posted in:Lindsay Lohan

2013

05

Apr

Lindsay Lohan and Charlie Sheen in the Scary Movie 5 Promo of the Day

I can only assume that this promo clip for Scary Movie 5 starring Lohan and Sheen in bed is 97% of the footage of them in the movie, it’s one of those trailer revealing all the well written, amazingly executed, genius jokes you just can’t high 5 hollywood for putting millions into the shit…and by that I mean…garbage…this shit is garbage…but what is real fucking garbage is just how bad Lohan plays herself, you’d think that’d be the easiest gig of her career, but instead she fucking fails, because I guess she doesn’t really know who Lindsay Lohan is….but she does have great tits.

Posted in:Lindsay Lohan

2013

02

Apr

Lindsay Lohan’s Beat the Fuck Up in a Bikini of the DAy

Here is Lindsay Lohan in probably the least flattering bikini pic of her career. Almost as bad as Vanessa Hudgens in Spring Breakers. Which is a serious LOW point for Lohan and her awesome tits.

:(

She’s lookin’ wrecked

:)

I love girls who look wrecked.

98% of girls I have had sex with have been bruised the fuck up, lookin’ unhealthy as shit, all fucking weirdly shaped from self destruction, and if you hose them down with perfume, and ignore the fear of having your face eaten off by them, and just ride it out and hope they don’t steal your wallet and find out where you live, shit is actually a lot of fun, like a mini-adventure!


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Posted in:Lindsay Lohan

2013

01

Apr

Lindsay Lohan’s Awesome Titties Get off a Helicopter of the Day

As much as people hate on Lohan, I’ve always been pretty loyal to her, or at least to her amazing tits. I believe that as much as she’s fallen off, and as much as she’s raped her career, there is still hope for her, or at least for her tits. To inspire, to create, to achieve greatness or at the very least to be masturbated to. She may be an ex-text-buddy, old facebook friend, ex-twitter follower to me…gone but never forgotten…because these tits, are fucking legendary and if they are in fact fakes, as rumored for many years, they should be a mandatory purchase for all women, because that one thing will make life a better place, because I know that Lohan’s tits make my life a better place.

Here they are getting off a helicopter, spilling out of her dress, legendary/


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Posted in:Lindsay Lohan