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Archive for the Lindsay Lohan Category

2009

08

Sep

Lindsay Lohan’s Fat Lips of the Day

I like Lindsay Lohan….I really do and I don’t think I’ve ever done anything on the site to prove otherwise. I think that over the last 5 years of doing this, she’s looked pretty hot at least once, she’s brought me some entertainment at least once, she’s “accidentally” flashed her vagina at least once, she’s flashed tit at least once, she’s marketed herself as a sex addict which is something I admire and then she did the whole lesbian thing and over the course of that time, I managed to become best buddies with her, at least best buddies according to me, she doesn’t know I exist….

So when I say that she’s gone really fucking overboard with her lips, I mean it in the nicest way, as a friend would tell another friend that they got a bad haircut, because although fat lips create blowjob fantasies, even when lesbians have them, way too fat lips just bring up spousal abuse fantasies and as much as I love punching my wife in the face, it’s not something I really ever get away with.
Seriously, I’ve read that Lohans’ been having relationship issues with Ronson, not that I ever believed they were actually a couple, but asking the plastic surgeon to do build a swollen pussy on her mouth is no way to lure new pussy, but it is a good way to get the job you always wanted as the clown at the circus.

The good news is that these lip injections are offered at the local spa, and shit will eventually go back to normal, but there’s gotta be some serious self-esteem issues to make a girl do this in the first place, a real fuckin’ issues if they think it’s hot. I guess there’s just a whole lot of pressure on today’s generation, when all they really need to learn is that as long as they put out and aren’t fat, they’re good to go.

Pictures via INFphoto

Posted in:Fat Lips|Lindsay Lohan

2009

28

Aug

Lindsay Lohan Makes Me Horny of the Day

I don’t know what’s up with Lohan, but she looks angry. Maybe Samantha Ronson’s sticking her dick in some other famous pussy now that she’s gone as far as she can go by riding Lohan’s name and becoming relevant, at least more relevant that her acoustic stage show she was hustlin’ before, or maybe it’s got nothing to do with Samantha Ronson and she’s just having a bad day, and really why do I fucking write about it like I care, when I totally don’t. If anything, I just like how Lohan constantly changes her look to give me different characters to include in my masturbation fantasies, whether it be ex stripper, or strung out stripper, or teen popstar, or whatever, her outfit changes do serve a purpose for me and that purpose is cumming.

Posted in:Lindsay Lohan|Messy

2009

26

Aug

Lindsay Lohan’s Legs After She Got Robbed of the Day

Lohan was robbed for the third time this past weekend, you’d think that it’d make sense if after the first time she either hired a security company to park outside her house at 10 dollars an hour, or even get a motherfucker to stand next to the door for the same fucking price. Maybe she could even get an alarm system or pretty much anything because getting robbed 3 times in a year is a little fucking excessive and I guess it’s made her paranoid cuz here she is sneakin around, hoping no one sees her….or maybe that’s caused by the prescription drugs…either way I think she looks amazing….

Posted in:Legs|Lindsay Lohan|Robbed

2009

20

Aug

Lindsay Lohan Takes Her New Face Shopping of the Day

This is like a scene out of that movie Pretty Woman, not becauase Lohan’s lookin’ pretty, but because she’s lookin like a streetwalker who has landed a John dumb enough to give her his credit card to hit up the highend boutiques and buy herself something that makes her look presentable for all his upper class lawyer friends. Not only am I surprised that she still has money to buy all the expensive clothes she buys, but I’m also surprised at why her face looks like a Halloween mask and it’s only August, not to mention the boutique was nice enough to let her bring her Monkey inside to shop with her, which is a lot better than the store owners around me who yell at me when I bring my dog in, I guess because I’m not Lindsay Lohan and I didn’t star in a couple movies 5 years ago. Just another example of how life is unfair…..

Posted in:Lindsay Lohan|Shopping

2009

18

Aug

Lindsay Lohan Takes Her Pet Monkey on a Walk of the Day

Lindsay Lohan is such a show off. I know there have been rumors of her going broke and not being relelvant or getting work, but if she was so fuckin’ broke, how the fuck could she afford a pet monkey. That’s on some exotic, eccentric pet collector shit that is really only for rich crazy people like Michael Jackson and here she is showin’ it off, just to remind us that she’s better than us. I wonder if she changes its diapers or if she has hired help to do that for her. I guess I will never know.

Posted in:Lindsay Lohan|Monkey

2009

31

Jul

Lindsay Lohan’s NEW Look for her NEW Job of the Day

Lohan’s been reported to be desperate for money and here she is with some new look, with new blonde hair and new lips that she claims is for a new part, which is technically the truth, but it’s not gonna be a movie for Disney, shit’s gonna be a fuckin’ porn, at least that’s what I assume because the porn companies are offereing her huge money and everyone knows that girls who jack up their lips and bleach out their hair are into suckin’ dick on camera, or stripping, or just attracting male attention cuz their dad’s were too busy spending late nights at the office…..

Either way, I’m excited for this move and I think it was a great decision on her part. The work is gonna be constant and well paying, the fans are gonna be excited to see her back on screen only doing what she does best and most importanlty she’s really gonna love giving her vagina an opportunity to make up for lost time, you know, this whole lesbian phase left the fucker feelin’ left the fuck out..

Here’s her new porn look for you to get ready to the face you’re soon gonna be masturbating to….

Posted in:Lindsay Lohan|Porn

2009

30

Jul

Lindsay Lohan’s My Kind of Girl of the Day

Girls who go out of the house lookin’ like shit, with their hair all crazy and covering their face are girls who don’t mind getting dirty in the bedroom and I’m not talking about STD dirty or smelly pussy dirty, although that is likely, I am talking about the kind of girl who lets you fuck her ass while she’s on her period then begs you to shove your shit covered dick down her throat while she fingers her period pussy and smears the shit all over your wall, only to take a load on her face and not bother showering before leaving…I mean that’s what I imagine she’s like when she’s not all caught up in this lesbian pussy grinding bullshit….and imagining is enough for me because I am kinda scared of the real thing.

Posted in:Lindsay Lohan|Messy

2009

29

Jul

Lindsay Lohan Shoppin’ in a Tank Top of the Day

Here is some Lindsay Lohan shopping, because that’s all she does since she’s got all kinds of money and nothing better to do with herself, and she’s wearing a tank top, while covering up her tits, because her nipples are hard and she’d hate to accidentally turn on a dude, because it’s in her nature to jump on the shit and fuck it, and that doesn’t really work for her whole lesbianism.

Posted in:Lindsay Lohan|Shopping|Tank Top

2009

27

Jul

Lindsay Lohan’s Too Busy for Me of the Day


There was a time when me and Lohan were homies. Sure it was just for half a minute and I’m not even entirely sure if I was being emailed by her, but I like to think I was, because it adds meaning to my already useless fucking life, so I reached out to her in the last week or so saying she’s a bitch for droppin me on twitter like I was hot, while we all know I mean temperature and not sex appeal, and she actually wrote me back saying she’s insanely busy and has no time for our internet love affair anymore, so if you, like me are wondering what she meant when she said she was too busy to write me an email, here is a little taste of what she’s been up to….

Firstly, here she is pretending to drink a milkshake for publicity at the milkshake shop owned by a fuckin’ paparazzi…..

And here she is not in a bikini at the Malibu Beach House….living her too busy to follow me on twitter busy fucking life….

Overall, she makes me feel way more useless and irrelevant than I already do feel. I mean is there even a point in doin what I do….If you’re wondering the answer, it is no, but I’m gonna keep on doin it, for lack of better things to do…

Posted in:Legs|Lindsay Lohan|Malibu