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Archive for the Lindsay Lohan Category

2013

28

Mar

Lindsay Lohan Bushing her Teeth on Set of Anger Management of the Day

Lohan is the best. There’s so many rumors about her lately, from homewrecking, to lesbianism with Kristen Stewart, to being asked to leave the set of the show she’s on, to ditching rehab for Coachella, reminding me that she still fucking matters, something I’ve been saying forever, you see cuz as hard as she falls off, she’s still Lohan and she’s still got great fucking tits. I’m on her team, in her court, and would love to be in her bed.

These are a few pics she posted to instagram…reminding me that I would also like to brush Lindsay Lohan’s teeth….with my dick.

Speaking of toothpaste….

Here are pics of her in bed with Charlie Sheen….from their show she is probably going to win a Golden Globe for hot tits….right?

I love me some Lohan.

Posted in:Lindsay Lohan

2013

22

Mar

A Nice Reminder of Lohan’s Tits of the Day

Before my love for Lohan, or at least my fake stalker, hoping to get arrested as a publicity stunt, that no one paid attention to was replaced with Miley Cyrus, Amanda Seyfried, and pretty much any actress who still gets work and that I am not tired of hearing about, I was a huge fan of Lohan’s perfect tits, that after a lot of debate, have been decided are just awesome fakes. Turns out, I still am and that she’s still got a warm, spot in my bed next to my fat diabetic sweaty, apnea gurggling wife and pug.

When I see her walking bra-less and in a tank top, when she’s supposed to be in lock down, I can’t help but feeling all those things I once felt for her, which isn’t really much considering I have no emotions, and was more a “hey that girl on TV has great tits”…but it’s better than forgetting she fucking exists, even if she wants me to, since she stopped texting me 3 years ago, and I feel that was both of our peak….even if she’s still fucking perfect.

Posted in:Lindsay Lohan

2013

21

Mar

Lohan’s Lawyer’s Daughter Rachel Heller is a Babe of the Day

A bunch of sites are shitting on Lohan’s lawyer, Mark Heller, for whatever reason. Despite the fact that she’s never gone to jail and is sentenced to rehab for 90 days, like that’s a fucking punishment. If anything, I think that makes him an awesome lawyer, considering that Lohan should be locked the fuck up for a few years, at least in the lesbian fantasies of my mind.

Well, sites are starting to do some background research in Mark Heller, the lawyer, for whatever reason. They have figured out that his son Mike is Lohan’s buddy, a guy I have met and who as far as I’m concerned is pretty decent.

But what they aren’t focusing on, is what actually matters, and that is Mark Heller’s hot as fuck daughter.

Her name is Rachel Heller, I’ve been trying to get her pregnant with my mind for the last few years. It hasn’t worked.

I posted her IN HER BIKINI in 2010…and since then have been wanting to make her fall in love with me….or at least let me go down on her for a week or until my tongue falls off but like everything I do, I’ve failed.

It’s ok, I get it, she’s too good for me. You know from the upper crust of society, all classy and high end luxury and shit, but I still write her love letters, put them in bottles with my semen and thrown them in the river hoping they wash up in New York or LA, where she’s filming a TV show and a Movie….cuz she’s gonna be famous, even though those love letter probably end up at the sewage treatment facility…it counts.

She’s glorious, she’s the real reason you should be talking about Mark Heller, Lindsay Lohan, or even LOVE…..

Rachel Heller, we may not know each other, we may never know each other, you may not know I exist… but we’re connected at the soul…or at least we should be…and by soul I mean genitals….

Remember, I’ve been stalking you pretty badly, inconsistently, and not quite as committed as I should be, because I forget and I’m lazy, for at least 3 years. That’s gotta count for something.

Here are some hot pics of her…

Posted in:Lindsay Lohan|Rachel Heller

2013

18

Mar

I am – Bummed Lohan isn’t Going to Jail of the Day

I am still a fan of Lindsay Lohan. I think she’s got serious potential and good things will eventually come her way….because let’s face it…she’s Lindsay Lohan…and herpes or not…I’d love to smear that vagina all over my face…

I was really hoping her sentence would lead to her in jail. I figure she could use the time out of society, and since she’s already a lesbian…or was a lesbian…she’d be in heaven…like on set of a lesbian porn scene….

With all celebs breaking the law, she got off easy….90 days in a lockdown rehab facility….30 days of community service…..18 months of therapy….

If only all people with her record got treated this way…breaking the law would be a lot more fun to do….but not all people are celebrities and don’t get that preferential treatment…

I’m just hoping she doesn’t die….cuz I’m into her…or at least her tits..and think they have a few more years in them….

She’s just a broken girl…and I don’t think this is really news….but I’m posting it anyway…cuz I like to live and breathe all things Lohan….when I remember she exists…like on sentencing days like today.

Posted in:Lindsay Lohan

2013

07

Feb

Lindsay Lohan Going Through Airport Security of the DAy

Hands down…Lindsay Lohan is my dream girl….she is the ultimate in Hollywood, she represents a perfect balance of class, luxury, mental health disorders, addiction, sex appeal, broken childhood, and broken dreams…..and one of life’s great tragedies was that I didn’t marry her back when I had the chance…not that I officially ever had the chance to marry her, but she did follow me on twitter, and I guess I could have proposed to her until she said yes in private messages….and now the only way I’ll ever touch her is if I become really famous for doing nothing….and if she falls off even harder than she already is….or if I become a airport security guy like this asshole mocking me with his vagina scans of her he should release to the internet – cuz sometimes it is better to lose your job for the greater good of man….

All this to say. I still love me some LOHAN.


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Posted in:Lindsay Lohan

2013

08

Jan

Lindsay Lohan Does Marilyn Monroe of the Day

This is the trailer of some movie called InAPPropriate Comedy that is produced, or written, or directed by the genius millionaire hooker beater Vince over at the Slap Chop….the concept is pretty simple…inappropriate jokes….you know just a pile of nonsense with obvious joke after obvious joke that I probably could have and should have written…because I want to make money too…and despite hating everything in Hollywood…this looks pretty alright….staring Rob Schneider, Adrien Brody and most importantly Lindsay Lohan has a cameo where she plays a little Marilyn Monroe with a little panty flash…and the only thing disappointing in this is that Lohan’s doing these stupid comedies and not more serious straight to DVD rolls where we get to see her tits…because that’s all she’s become…a host body for those awesome tits…


TO SEE SOME PICS OF LOHAN MAKING WEIRD FACES IN LONDON
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Posted in:Lindsay Lohan

2012

18

Dec

Lindsay Lohan in a New R.E.M. Video of the Day

I guess R.E.M. hasn’t died of AIDS yet, because they just released a video OVER 1 MONTHER AGO – that no one gave a fuck about until they realized that Lindsay Lohan was in it earlier today…..

Her cameo is all of 30 seconds and she’s rockin’ her fake porn lips, posing slutty half naked, while people take pics of her….all set to a horrible fuckinbg song that makes me want to get sodomized like I was Michael Stipe and die of AIDS so that I either get where he’s coming from in this pile of shit before not being stuck in a world where this kind of shit exists. Maybe I’m being Dramatic….but I guess that’s just what Lohan’s awesome tits do to me…cuz seeing her star in garbage like this…when she should be staring in Oscar Winning porn movies with me….is a bigger tragedy than her life is….

Posted in:Lindsay Lohan

2012

29

Nov

Lindsay Lohan Gets Arrested of the Day

Lohan was at Club Avenue when she got into some sort of argument with a female patron and it became physical. We’re told cops came and arrested Lindsay for allegedly assaulting her

Here is the pic of the girl Lohan went nuts on…because Lohan is nuts…

I don’t see much damage but I am sure it is there…and that’s just what crazy people do…all that pent up aggression of people mocking her when she really believed she was gonna prove herself with her last job..only to realize her producers, directors and all the people who suck her dick lied to her….humiliated her…and made a mockery out of her.,….

She’s a mess, she’s fallen off, it is a tragedy, cuz I coulda saved her..but she didn’t believe when we spent that night in a hotel together…and that’s an even bigger tragedy…

Crazy girl…I still believe….in you and your chins ability to win an oscar…

This kind of behavior is pretty obvious…

Posted in:Lindsay Lohan

2012

21

Nov

LIndsay Lohan Bloated Botox Fake Tit Porn Face of the Day

I love Lindsay Lohan…and I know Lindsay Lohan is trying her best with the insanity she’s been given…to have a normal and successful life…and I know there is no real plan or intent to be a weird failure…cliche child star…who was prostituted by her parents and now confused as to which way to turn….I know she actually thinks Liz and Dick will be her big break….her welcome back to the world of acting…and I know her fake lips, botox face, that makes her look like a weird, used, washed up, stripper, or low level pornstar face…is actually her thinking she looks good…but it’s all too fucking clowny…

Now, I’m a fan of Lohan, her tits, her ass, her skillset…even her personality…she’s funny and a good time…just a victim of her elements…but shit…whatever she’s done to her face…looks like it belongs in a fucking circus….gettting out of a small car with 12 of her friends…a car we can all hope she’s not driving….

Here she is at some Premiere for Liz and Dick last night..some shit she is staging legal issues to get more coverage for….when all she really needs to do is juggle and make animals out of balloons…with my liz and dick….


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Posted in:Lindsay Lohan

2012

20

Nov

Lindsay Lohan’s Funny Face for Fake Legal Issues That May End Up in Jail of the Day


I wish this Lindsay Lohan lawsuit shit was a hell of a lot more erotic…but instead shit is just weird….even depressing…and I figure if I want a convict to masturbate to…I might as well just hire one off the street who is way less maintenance than this white collar crime bullshit…I like my unstable women a little less hollywood and a lot more down on their fucking luck to find their next hit…not to order their next meal at their 5 star hotel’s room service.

Lohan coulda been saved…but I am pretty sure – she’s fallen off so hard she can’t get back up…ever….all while wasting the tax payers money with spoiled brat bullshit.

But I’ll still believe there’s hope cuz I am a Lohan believer….and I know like a phoenix she will rise from the ashes and win an academy award…that or die of an overdose alone in her hotel room…either way…I mourn her or at least what she was…..

This is just a cry for media attention…and I’m buying into it – cuz I have a crush on her.

Posted in:Lindsay Lohan

2012

15

Nov

Lindsay Lohan Does Jummy Fallon of the Day

I can’t stand Jimmy Fallon and I think he needs to be shot…and that happened long before he used Lindsay Lohan in what is the worst possible way you could use Lindsay Lohan….and I am not talking like how her mom, friends and Sam Ronson and everyone around her used her….or how she used drugs….but by having her smear cake in some dudes hair semi-erotically…is just humiliating for her….doing any gig she can…god fucking knows why…cuz she should just retire instead of helping fuel idiots like Jimmy Fallon who are using her to give himself more street cred than using The Roots as his band…..I encouraged people to hunt him down….for all the wrong he has done in the world….and I encourage Lindsay Lohan to give me a call if she really wants to save her career…I got all the ideas that involve more tit and less of this garbage….

Posted in:Lindsay Lohan

2012

14

Nov

Lindsay Lohan’s Trashy Slut Attempt at Art of the Day

There’s a pretty silly “indy” internet film coming out called The Canyons that is starring Lohan and a pornstar named James Deen that I guess is her attempt at honing her art…or her craft…to break free from all the negative press and to be taken seriously as an actress instead of a Disney puppet that has fallen off…

I get that the “style” of the movie is meant to be porno quality….low level…shit acting…but I think that’s just their way of addressing their shit actors and porn stars…..

Serious bad fucking strategy….nail in the coffin level move on her part if getting back in the scene was on her fucking todo list…

What a waste of great implants.

Posted in:Lindsay Lohan

2012

10

Oct

Lindsay Lohan Forgive Each Other of the Day

So the biggest story in celebrity gossip no one cares about…or that no one should care about…but that people care about…cuz their own lives suck…is that Lindsay Lohan referred to a CRAZY 1 and Dina Lohan referred to as Crazy 2 got into a blowout fight, Crazy 1 called Michael Lohan or Crazy 3 was called to call the cops cuz Crazy 2 was jacked on Coke and losing her shit on Crazy 1, Crazy 2 made her limo driver lock Crazy 1 in the car so Crazy 1 did the sane thing and seeked help from Crazy 3 who she’s not supposed tto be talking to cuz she hates him….but now they are hugging because life is so hard on their spoiled brat lives and they love each other and their fight was stupid….overreacting in crisis then everything goes back to their normal which isn’t normal cuz that is what rich spoiled bra life is all about…and it’s making me so fucking horny right now.

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Posted in:Lindsay Lohan

2012

09

Oct

Lindsay Lohan’s Nipple in The Canyons Trailer of the Day

Lindsay Lohan showed off some nipple for a split second in the trailer for The Canyons, some movie she got cast to play the whore in….and here’s the trailer….

The movie is about some sex crazed kids in their 20s, starring Lohan and pornster James Deen, which pretty much tells us how shit this movie is going to be, low budget, badly shot, and all the work Lohan can get….

The really interesting thing in all this is that I heard Lohan and James Deen shot a sex tape while filming this movie…and that there will lots of sex in his movie…so I’m just waiting for the highlight reel and more importantly for the sex tape to drop…cuz I think it is time we see Lohan fuck. She’s been around too long to keep that from us….

Posted in:Lindsay Lohan

2012

30

Sep

Lindsay Lohan Was “allegedly” Assaulted by a Republican of the Day

So Lohan invited a dude back to her hotel for an after party last night, that ended with the dude getting arrested for assaulting her….

His name was Christian Labella, he’s obviously connected, and they deleted his facebook, but before they did we grabbed this pic of him and Paul Ryan….cuz he is connected with the Republicn party…

The story is that she freaked on him for taking a pic of her and he ended up choking her and mounting her…cuz she’s clearly a cunt and he clearly has a tempers and thinkshe is above the law….

Luckily she wasn’t alone with him, or this publicity stunt coulda ended in murder, but instead her friends pulled him off her, and she ran for the fire alarm in some over dramatic rich kid drama…..

But then again…this could all be Lohan overreacting…..because she’s fucking insane….

As someone who has been invited back to Lohan’s hotel room after partying a few years ago….I know she’s insane…But I didn’t have the urge to take pics of her or beat her up…I was too busy trying to figure out why she was locked in her bedroom for an hour…only to come out in pajama pants and heels to do a stripper dance to her album she never released…before breaking down and crying about Sam Ronson…reading the texts to me as they came in in one of the weirder nights of my life….I was too thrown off but if I was on my A-Game…I would have been tryig to save her….but Lohan didn’t want me to be her superman….she was too busy crying, laughing, dancing, screaming and eating french fries….

Now who is Christian LeBella – Lohan Beater…..

Well Governor Sarah Palin endorsed this Christian La Bella for role as president of a fraternity at University of San Diego…because she likes woman beater…not that I can confirm or deny this is actually her or a prank…but for the sake of this post…let’s say it is legit.

He also worked for the Republican party this past summer….

And based on our research….hard hitting journalist…he’s from Beverly Hills….but the slums of Beverly Hills….with a 6 bedroom and 3 bath 900k house…..but I guess it got him in the right circles…no wonder he’s angry…he’s the non rich kid amongst rich kids…

Here’s a pic of his house….

Which would explain his bitterness, or excitement getting invited to her hotel room, what is that in the driveway, a 1990 CRV, I hope it belongs to the Mexicans working the yard…or it could be humiliating pulling into the country club for him…so humiliating and probably why he fucking rages out on his quest to being society…

All this to say…what a fucking asshole….never beat up women….

UPDATE – THE CHARGES HAVE BEEN DROPPED CUZ LOHAN REMAINS TO BE FUCKING CRAZY BUT THAT DOESN’T MEAN HE DIDN’T FIGHT HER IT JUST MEANS SHE OVERREACTED LIKE A NUTCASE AND IS TRYING TO COVER IT UP OR IT MEANS IT WAS AN ATTENTION GRAP PUBLICITY STUNT

Lohan got choked out had scratches on her neck, but said she didnt want to go to the hospital. refused treatment so they dropped the assault charges

She wouldn’t go to hospital cuz she was on drugs…and/or Paul Ryan needed to keep his image clean….and/or it didn’t actually happen….and/or who fucking cares.

UPDATE 2 – Lohan is a brat who wastes tax payers money and police time in her crazy coked out freak outs. I’ve met her and she’s the kind of girl who will call the police on you for no reason cuz she’s crazy…..what a waste of tits.

Posted in:Lindsay Lohan