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Archive for the Lindsay Lohan Category

2013

05

Nov

Lindsay Lohan Face of the Day

Lindsay Lohan has been slowly turning herself into a muppet…because I guess when you’ve been raped of your childhood…you sometimes need to Michael Jackson yourself and turn your life into a creepy fucking playground to try to fill that void…and for some reason I like it…because it represents all that is broken in her…not to mention gives her something we can laugh at to help make her more and more insecure about herself…cyberbullying in a way that will one day lead her into an abusive yet loving relationship with me…because despite her face fillers…I think she’s perfect and I want to marry her…at least once…sexually…while not in a herpes outbreak..

Posted in:Lindsay Lohan

2013

04

Nov

Lindsay Lohan Dressed Like a Used Tampon of the Day

Halloween may be over and that’s ok…because Lindsay Lohan will always be a used tampon to me…not just on one day of the year…but everyday of the year…making these pics of her relevant til the end of fucking time…

Now you may be asking yourself what makes someone a used tampon, does it mean they are trash, done, expired and of no use…no it means that it will take some fucking weirdo to dig her out of the trash and re-purpose her like an old pick-up truck, to give her that shine she once had…and I want to be that guy…

Because some people, people like me, love USED TAMPONS (NSFW)

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Lindsay Lohan

2013

17

Oct

Lindsay Lohan’s Hard Nipple for Instagram of the Day

Lindsay Lohan used to be the most random friend I ever had…she’d text me everyday and every night for over 6 months, until one day we finally met, she did some crackhead shit, and more importantly, I didn’t try to play with her amazing tits, and I never heard from her again, but more importantly, I never forgave myself for not playing with her amazing tits…and like you, I’m forced to stare at them on instagram pics she posted, rather than hate them as I tend to the herpes I caught from her, that seemed like a good idea at the time, because it was fucking Lohan at her prime, before fully falling off, a girl you’d all want to get herpes from, until she’s long out of the picture, but the herpes aren’t..them shits for life…yo…

So whenever I see her, I remember what was, appreciate what is, but cry on the inside, for never having touched such luxurious and amazing breasts…it’s not the first time I’ve failed as a man, but it’s up there as the worst time I’ve failed as a man….

I am still a Lohan Fan….and I am waiting for her to win that Oscar…

Posted in:Lindsay Lohan

2013

09

Oct

The Lohans Riding Citi Bikes of the Day

I don’t know why, but seeing the Lohans…in all their cocaine fuelled glory…trying to look normal in this obvious paparazzi photo opp that you know they tipped the paparazzi off on…so that these would exist and that their broken down family would look like they’ve overcome all their demons and now are just doing normal person things….like what they should have done when Lohan was a kid, rather than whore her out to the industry for money…because it’s never too late to find your childhood…

The whole thing is just bullshit staged PR, and I think that’s what makes it better, because you know they are all still getting wasted…and they are all still broken down people…but when on bikes, in pics…smiling…and acting…they look like the nuclear family…from the 50s…before the nuclear meltdown….

I am into it…but in my defence maybe I just want to sniff her bike seat.

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Lindsay Lohan

2013

18

Sep

Lindsay Lohan’s Fat Thighs in Leggings of the Day

This just in…Lohan’s thigh in leggings is looking kinda fat..because either she’s got coke bloat like she was Chris Farley…or so many fat coke heads before her…or maybe the medication she’s on has some fat chick side effects….or maybe just maybe she’s sober and taking up eating again…but I don’t care…I would still link every square inch of her, and this weight gain just means there’s more lohan to lick…I mean I’m so into this girl, I’d do it during a herpes outbreak while she’s on her period…I’m a fan….which is probably gross to some of you, but sounds a lot like heaven to me…

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Lindsay Lohan

2013

05

Sep

Lindsay Lohan Big Tits in a Crown for Fashion Week of the Day

Lindsay Lohan even though her face tells a different story…and she’s at fashion week at some event wearing a crown, because she’s the queen of her own life, now that she’s been pumped full of bullshit therapy we all know she doesn’t listen to because she’s too far gone to really ever recover….and her face is too far gone to ever really look her age again…but the good news is when she dressed in a dress like this…her face just doesn’t matter…but rather them big fake titties do…

The sick thing in all this is that I think she’s the hottest bitch around…and I’ve seen the Canyons, a movie I hoped she got ploughed down in, because it was so bad, even with the nudity, you’d leave it hating her…but for some reason, I reason I call nostalgia and no standards…I think she’s fucking perfect…

I like to believe that one day she will win an Oscar, but hope things fail for her and she ends up sitting on my face…cuz that’s one disgusting piece of flesh I am willing to taste…

To see the rest of the pics CLICK HERE

Posted in:Lindsay Lohan

2013

19

Aug

The Lindsay Lohan vs. Oprah Interview Preview of the Day

You may hate Oprah, because you are a racist and you don’t feel like black people should succeed, especially not at her Oprah level…or maybe you just hate her for being an opportunist cunt who has convinced the world she is trying to save people, or really get to the bottom of the issues, when really she’s just exploiting down on their luck motherfuckers for their own personal gain, like this Lindsay Lohan they are pushing hard…because everyone cares about Lohan, since we’re all brain washed and the real issues of the world just don’t matter, whereas Lohan’s drinking and self destruction does…

The highlight of this video is when Oprah tells Lohan that she’s extremely talented, unlike all the other actors, even though acting doesn’t require talent…or more importantly, when Lohan goes off about how she has a gift to give the world, through shitty movies like The Canyons, that I actually watched and hoped for a drug overdose the entire fucking time.

I mean sitting and watching two delusional cunts talking about how they’ve changed and how much better they are now or that there is a higher purpose for them…is a whole lot of fucking crazy…

But I will say this, I love Lohan even though she’s turned her back on our love, I love her tits, even though they aren’t real, I love that her skin and face is back..and I am ready for her to win an Oscar in the comeback story doesn’t matter…while Oprah remains porn to me, ever since she was the only thing on TV one afternoon and I figured, I’ll give ‘er a go to this thing…..

TO SEE ALL THE PREVIEW CLIPS IF YOU CARE AND YOU DO CLICK HERE

TO SEE HER TITS IN THE CANYONS (GOOD TITS/WORST MOVIE EVER) CLICK HERE

Posted in:Lindsay Lohan

2013

16

Aug

Lindsay Lohan Selfies of the Day

Lindsay Lohan is back…and she’s taken to the internet to post a few selfies…selfies that are unlike the selfies I am usually a fan of…because they don’t involve her poppin her booty out, or touching her toes, or topless, even though at this stage of her career, they probably should. It would do some good for her…and for me so that I could masturbate to her…like it was 2004 and we were dating in my mind…while she was busy cheating on me with everyone in LA with or without herpes …slowly destroying everything about her…from her body to her soul…I’m just bummed she doesn’t look 45….

Lindsay Lohan, I still remember….Never forget…Send Nudes.

Posted in:Lindsay Lohan

2013

02

Aug

Lindsay Lohan Naked in The Canyons of the Day

Lindsay Lohan is a fucking star.

I don’t care how hard she falls off, she will always be Lindsay Lohan, and in being Lindsay Lohan, she’s got rockin’ amazing tits…

She’s also got a well oiled machine…literally…where everything is strategically leaked and released and planned in efforts to have the biggest impact and the good news is that this time around on her comeback tour, she’s more naked that usual…You know less about the flashing her pussy at clubs, and more about being naked in movies.

I am sure she wants to be working, and winning Oscars, and taken seriously, and not in the media as some tabloid joke…so this is how it’s done, or at least attempted to be done.

The sex is shitty, but believable, I mean just cuz she fucked a lot doesn’t mean she fucked well.

The movie looks like a pile of shit, but I’ll probably see it. It’s my duty as he number one fan who believes in her awesome natural looking implants….even though part of me hates her for abandoning our friendship…

She didn’t book Lovelace people, but she can still get naked in movies people. She’s Lohan, anything is possible….somewhere out there there is a man with a camera willing to shoot her naked…like this guy right here.

I’d say fuck The Canyons and their leaking lohan nudes for attention, you know a little marketing, but I love me some Lohan….

Ultimately, she’s got the best tits in the game, and no matter how hard she’s fallen off, they will always matter, they will always be there to carry here, or act as a life vest when drowning, both figuratively and literally…and purchased or not, they are glorious.

Lohan, if you’re out there, I may have to start stalking you again…I don’t even mind her dead eyes and porn quality face surgery, if anything, I really like it.

Here are the clips…apparently they are pretty gay.

Here’s the trailer if you care to learn more about this movie, even after seeing the good parts.

If you are looking for a Lindsay Lohan Experience, take my man Foetus La Plantain’s 4 step plan to experience Lohan without Lohan’s involvement.

1- make an old roast beef sandwich and heat it up in the microwave until its all dry and leathery
2- add cottage cheese to it for texture,
3- fuck the sandwich with my eyes closed while licking a dirty ashtray
4- listen to patty and selma from the simpsons.

its like you really there…..

Share your Lohan experiences with us in the comments…

Posted in:Lindsay Lohan|NSFW