Here is some MTV bullshit that is probably not from this part of the world of two Victoria’s Secret models doing some guess the song dance off…unfortunately Lady Gaga polluted this shit but Alessandra Ambrosio’s shorts made up for it. There is really nothing funny about this video, just a whole lot of depressing since not all girls are made like this, but at least there is a whole lot of legs going on in this video and that may make your life a little more enjoyable for a few minutes before accepting the fact that the world is an unfair place, your wife is fat and ugly and your life is fuckin miserable….
Archive for the Marisa Miller Category
Marisa Miller is a bikini model because of her body so that’s what we should be focusing on because whatever the fuck is going on with her hard, leathery, old lookin’ face, reminds me of some ex-prostitutes I was in NA with a couple of years ago. It’s like this bitch started out with a set of fake tits, two 10 pound dumbells, a tanning machine and a fuckin’ dream and she made it, but time isn’t on her face’s side, shit is melting into some kind of weird, but I’m definitely on her body’s side, shit is done proper, so she needs to embrace her place in the world and get in a little less dress and a little more bikini, but at least we get a taste with them legs…
Here is some supermodel cleavage, I hear that it’s better cleavage than the slutty teenage girl who works at the dollar store where I get my canned food down the street, but that’s because she’s fat and smells like mothballs and doesn’t really have guys jerking off to her photo spreads, but may have creepy poor guys she meets at work jerking off to her, because lets face it, when you shop at the dollar store, pussy isn’t really falling onto your lap….
So it turns out that Marisa Miller was also over-rated in 2003, when she was just some freckled faced, fake titted, fit chick, who probably never deserved to get to the level of success she has reached, but who has managed to reach that level of success she has, so I assume some of you like her and that’s not the reason I am posting these pictures, because I know you like anything with a pussy, fit or fat, hot or not, born man or woman, shit just doesn’t matter to you. I am posting it because I want to. So fuck you.
I am one of the few people I know who don’t think Marisa Miller should be a Victoria Secret/SI Swimsuit model because she has an old lookin’ face. Everyone gets mad at me when I say that I just don’t feel it when I see pics of her naked or half naked, they call me gay and an idiot and unrealistic because they know I’d die to fuck her, what they don’t know is that I’d die to fuck anyone at this point, dead or alive, it’s got that bad. My whole thing is bring in some new blood, you know girls who haven’t had their period for more than a couple of years, since I’ve always been told that real models are supposed to be scouted at 14 and getting huge jobs by 16, because they aren’t legal to have nude pictures of on your computer, but they are legal to masturbate to, but instead I get this 30 something fitness addict with fake tits and a tight body who is obviously hotter than the average chick, but not quite as fresh as new talent, I mean just think about how many times that pussy’s been wiped, licked, fingered, fucked to get it ahead, touched, infected, rubbed up against abrasive fabrics, inserted with vacuum cleaners to save her career from unwanted pregnancy, it is pussy that has seen better days, it is pussy I’d like to see replaced.
That said here she is showing off part of her work out regime, since her body’s really all she has left and bitch needs to make sure to keep it if she wants to be kept around, and now you can go imitate these work-out positions when jerking off, because I know you don’t agree with my opinion of her and everything she does turn you on and jerking off is better when you really get into it. O r you could just buy your wife this magazine encouraging her to get off her dumpy ass to make her worth fucking again, but that’s not going to work out for you, it’ll just make her mad, trust me I’ve tried before giving up on her. Good times.
Marisa Miller is still hard at work and here she is on the beach with that Ebanks chick who is also a Victoria's Secret girl. I guess this is what they call a business meeting, because you know that they aren't there together by choice. You know that they hate each other and are secretly jealous of each other's success because they are chicks competing for the same cock and that's just how things work themselves out. I guess I also know this is a business meeting because I can't even stomach spending time with my co-workers, they are real fucking assholes and I work alone, so I can't imagine ever having to actually hang out with another person I work with, especially in a bikini. The one time that I did hang out with co-workers was for some company outing at the waterpark and there is nothing more awkward than seeing your boss in the changing room shower before slipping into his tight bathing suit, not to mention nothing more humiliating that walking around topless and drunk with the people who you work with, but that's only because the second you get me next to a middle aged data entry girl in her bikini, I can't be held responsible for where I accidentally grab as I pretend to fall, if you know what I mean, if you don't, I finger banged her in the wave pool, while her husband was getting hot dogs, now look at the fucking pictures.
If you’re wondering why I haven’t posted, which you’re not. It’s because I am at the Obama Inauguration and it’s hard to find an internet cafe. I was personally approached by his people to cover the event on this site because we are a reputable news source for a solid dozen people. In case you were wondering, I wasn’t at the Obama Inauguration, I was sleeping. I figure all Americans would be watching this shit so why bother trying to compete. Obama is the biggest thing since the real Jesus and I figure I’ll let him have his time. I am over this whole Obama fad. It bores me. It is repetitive. I get it he brings you all hope and following him is like a fucking cult, but the dude is pretty positive, he does bring hope to all you suffering motherfuckers, but I’d rather see the miracles he talks about that hear him talk about them. Sure he’s been president for a solid 15 minutes now, but this classy, respectful motherfucker who even hugged George Bush, who I feel bad for, dude got a pretty shitty deal the people booed him despite having voted for him, hypocrites, maybe they should be booing their motherfucking selves. Anyway, this Obama motherfucker best get to work. First job should be to arrest that poet that came up after him to clear the fuckin’ room.
Speaking of getting to work, here’s Marisa Miller doing the whole Victoria’s Secret photoshoot thing, gettin’ paid motherfuckers.
Here are some more Marisa Miller bikini pictures….because you like her….
I think I may be the only guy who has no interest in Marisa Miller. She looks old and haggard, like an ex-stripper who used to work part time at a tanning salon and spent the rest of her time lifting weights. There’s just something that I don’t find appealing about fake tits and rock hard muscular bodies, it’s just too manly for me and brings back memories I don’t necessarily want brought back, like the time I was making out with a “chick” at the bar and realized her rock hard abs were the least of my concerns when I felt her rock hard cock digging into my leg. Times were tough, so I took what I could get, it doesn’t make me gay, it just makes me desperate and I’d tell you not to judge, but realize I don’t really care what you think about me, because you’re the kind of guy who buys into the Victoria’s Secret stamp of approval and I don’t know how straight taking advice as to what is hot pussy and what is not so hot pussy from a fucking panty company. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t think she’s disgusting. I do know she’s better than most girls but I’m ready for new blood pumped into this Victoria’s Secret thing, preferably period blood that still shocks the model’s because they’ve only had their perido for around for 4 years, letting Marisa Miller pursue other ventures, like being the trashy blonde motorcycle slag for a beer company or Harley. I guess based on these pics, we’re halfway there motherfuckers.
BONUS – My Hot Biker Chick Video Throwback
So I got a little carried away with this Obama shit while drunk last night, I’d be embarrassed but really never go back on the stupid shit I say or do when drunk, I just kinda move on and pretend it never happened. Obama is just a motivational speaker, the black Tony Robins, with a less offensively massive head, trying to pass off responsibility to the people, motivate the people, and instead of carrying the weight of the problems on his shoulders or making the right decisions, he just acts as a figurehead for hope and unity, something America didn’t really have.
I don’t think people know entirely what they are in for, or know the impact of what is going to happen based on his term in office, and like a deadbeat dad, I am convinced nothing is going to change, people will still be poor, people will still be dying in hospitals, but it was a pretty powerful speech.
George Bush was from day one a total fuck up, Palin was a total idiot, McCain didn’t deal with the economy properly, Obama played the race card, America has a lot of ethnic people who hate white people, he sold a dream, and he won….
So he has a great smile, was a novelty, campaigned hard and strong and was a hero in the media, coming in with unrealistic goals and visions that make sense to desperate people, or people who want more out of life, and he did it with style and power but dudes pretty much over-promised and I highly doubt you’ll get what you want and the next 4 months will be about him trying to manage expectations and diffuse the flames her lit to get in office.
I am having Obama supporter remorse, he was a little bit of a novelty with really big goals and expectations, kinda telling the people what they want to hear, you know telling girls in the bar how big your dick is or how fat your wallet is to get them so wet you can hear the jelly donut in her pants squishing between her thighs.
So good luck with all this shit, and that concludes my political talks for the next little while, but no one cares about what I think,
Here are some pictures of to start the day of Marissa Miller and Miranda Kerr since they are the American Dream, well at least one of them is, and the other one just makes more money than you do in your own country, fuckin’ immigrants takin’ all the fuckin’ jobs…..and choosin’ the fuckin’ president….
So it looks like Marisa Miller has finally achieved the level of fame that I have by being featured in Complex 10 months after me. I mean sure, I wasn’t their covergirl, and I think my write up was 100 words at the back of the issue at best, but it was still the highlight of my year, maybe even my life, because it is the only recognition I have ever received, pretty much ever and for someone like Marisa Miller, who’s been on the cover of all magazines all these years, it’s probably not a big deal, but to someone like you who has been jerking off to Marisa Miller all these years it probably is.
The truth is since being featured in Complex, the company has really done their part to make me feel like family. Just last week I reached out to Marc Ecko asking for some free clothes, since he owns the magazine and Ecko and he never responded, then there was the time a few months ago when I asked him if he could get me tickets to the Lil Wayne show for my stepdaughter and her hot teenage friends and he never got back to me, or the time I reached out to him asking for some money, or a job, or anything because I was struggling and never hearing back from him, then there was my birthday when I got no card or gift from him and his birthday when I got no invitation. I guess Complex really aren’t like family at all…..but they did give you something you wanted and that’s more Marisa Miller in a bikini, which does nothing for me, not because I am gay or due to my impotence, because not getting hard doesn’t mean not getting horny, but because I think she looks old, boring, and like a less attractive stripper than the strippers I am used to. I see the whole All American bullshit, and maybe that’s the real reason why I find nothing interesting about her and I am sure some of you probably disagree. So this one’s for Ellen Degeneres and all you’ve she’s done for the lesbian movement, life wasn’t better when women hated men secretly. Thanks for that.
TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS, AND READ WHAT SHE HAD TO SAY AS YOU JERK OF, FOLLOW THIS LINK
I am not attracted to chicks who ride motor bikes. They are the same kind of girls who drink beer and like bar brawls. They fuck you like crazy because the vibrations of their motorbikes make them walking verge of cumming sluts, but they are rarely fucking hot and when they are hot, they are usually lesbian or into wearing Ed Hardy and getting shitty tattoos and fake tits, and that shit just doesn’t do it for me. Maybe I’m too picky, but I’m more into girls who are scared of the world and want guidance, not ones who want to grab life by the balls and see where the road takes them.
I understand what Harley’s doing in bookin’ Marisa Miller to be their hot biker slut, simulating sex on one of their bikes like a lame poster or calendar you’d find at a mechanic’s garage in the 80s, but motorbikes just makes me think of fat chicks who like wrestling and pulling out their fat tits when drunk, the same kind of girl who would rape you if she crossed you in a dark alley and I can’t really see past that, watch the video of some biker slut I saw when on a drive with a friend, be careful though, shit’s hotter than DJ AM’s skin, and I hear that’s so hot it’s melting.
I don’t have a thing for greasy girls who sweat. Sure there was a time when there was nothing more that I wanted than to have hot sweaty sex in the middle of the summer with a tight bodied blonde bikini model, but I am older now and I am more into girls who shower and look clean. It’s probably got to do with having an obese wife who always sweats and it’s come to the point where the list of top 5 things she does on the daily are eating, sweating, sleeping, sitting, shitting and making a fuckin mess in the process that’s lead to bugs in the shit hole apartment, something we’ve avoided up until now. So there’s really nothing inspiring about any of those things except to other fat people who see it as encouragment to not finish that extra large pizza for fear of dying and missing out on those 5 amazing things that got them in this mess in the first place.
The truth is that her greasy skin glisten wouldn’t be so vile, if it didn’t smell like feces, but it does, so seeing Marisa Miller, someone I am not even that in to, greased up makes me think of my wife eating french fries and a burger and breaking a sweat from the strain it’s putting on her heart as the juices drip down her cleavage and that doesn’t turn me on but it probably turns you on because you love cleavage.
Either way, here’s Marisa Miller greased up like a fat chick. I feel like I’ve already posted these pics.
Marisa Miller hosted a party with Puff Daddy in Montreal this past weekend and I didn’t go because I wasn’t invited, tickets were $250 dollars and if you wanted a place to sit down, it was $5000 because Puff Daddy isn’t rich enough and feels that he should charge outrageous prices so the everyday 9 to 5 millionaire can pretend they partied with him, giving them stories to tell their friends and family about how they spent 1000 dollars to be under the same roof as the motherfucker while listening to the same tunes as the motherfucker as club slut girls shook their asses for them in hopes of getting free drinks off their bottles all while hanging out in a club owned by the mob that I have unfortunately been to in the past and have felt my life was at risk because no matter how trendy you make a place, when the owners are gangsters, you could get in the line of fire and it’s really a fucking lame event and party that is not worth literally dying for.
Either way, Grand Prix weekend here is a total fucking mess, where they shut down a bunch of streets and drunken fools from out of town to take over and cause traffic so that the poverty that fill the city can’t get out to their local drinking holes without having to to walk through a mob of gym bound dudes in Ed Hardy and ugly chicks with fake tits who think they are stylin’ cuz their lame boyfriend rented a Posche for the week because people are into spending money to show off how fuckin’ ballin’ they are.
The goal was to get out there and fuck with people, videotape them cheating on their wives with local sluts and pretty much doing my part to destroy the event for as many people as possible, but I just ended up getting drunk at some shitty bar that wasn’t taken over by the bottle poppin’ celebrity try hards with no concept of what’s up, and instead got drunk with some fat chick who wouldn’t stop talking about her cat and I don’t mean her pussy.
I guess I just hate the fact that I am poor and that I get no love for what I do and I feel like Marisa Miller should have been inviting me to her hotel room to help her shower, even though bitch looks like a 30 year old soccer mom that’s been marketed enough for people to believe she’s the hottest thing out there and who pay 250 dollars to see her from afar.
Some Victoria’s Secret Promo Starring Miranda Kerr, Marisa Miller and Alessandra Ambrosio in Bikinis of the Day
The Victoria’s Secret cult strikes again with their distracting hot bitches in bikinis that they pretty much own like this dude I know who bough a Russian in some Mail Order bride service. Bitch did everything he told her and it was always funny seeing this tall hot blonde chick holding hands with a short, old fat guy, but she was just happy to be there until he pushed too hard and his posters of war-torn Russia that he would point to everytime she was out of line stopped working, leading to her taking the driving seat and eventually leaving him for some younger, richer dude. I just tell him he’s lucky he got out alive, because anyone from a war-torn country is dangerous and reverts back to survival mode when they really lose it but poor fucker is just broken hearted about it. I guess that just proves you can’t buy happiness, but you can buy pussy.
Marisa Miller was on Letterman to promote the SI Swimsuit Edition talking about when she found out she was on the cover, body painting and other really life changing stuff like being fully shaved. It’s not very exciting but since she’s a bigger deal now than she was a week ago. Someone told me that she had breast implants but she claims she’s never had surgery. Maybe that’s some kind of covering her ass situation but from lookin’ at her tits I am going to go with real. None of this really matters, what does matter is that they cut to her billboard. So watch it them legs in action….