Modern Day Journalism
 
 

Archive for the Mary Cary Category

2010

06

Jan

Mary Cary Leaving the Gym Lookin’ Like Shit of the Day

It always amazes me that people watch this bitch have sex….seriously….I am not one for high standards…but there comes a point in every pervert’s life where he’s got to turn off the DVD, or click the “X” on the browser because shit is just so bad it doesn’t deserve your boner or approval and I’m the kind of guy who gets amazed at how bad some of the shit I get off to is…so that’s saying a lot about Mary Cary and just how sick she is….and here she is leaving the gym….I guess because she was tired of being called a fat pig…thinking that her weight problem was the reason she looked like shit when in reality she is the reason she looks like shit…if you know what I mean….

Pics via PacificCoastNews

Posted in:Fat|Gym|Mary Cary

2009

30

Sep

Mary Cary Brings Her Tits Out for Phoebe Price’s Birthday of the Day

Here’s a serious gang of fucking losers….but I can’t help but focus on Mary Cary an already clinically obese woman’s fake tits, because one looks like a deflated tired on an old broken down truck her dad was shooting beer cans off of in their trailer park backyard, so I guess this story of trash just comes full fuckin’ circle. I hate implants and I hate Mary Cary and I don’t understand who the hell watches her fuck but more importantly who pays her to fuck and even more importantly someone who gets off to her fucking, but I’m thinking that Phoebe Price and these other nobodies are her only fans, at least I am hoping, but then again this is Phoebe Price’s birthday party, so maybe these nobodies are actually Phoebe Prices only fans…and I’m just sad I wasn’t invited to the party…

Pics via PacificCoastNews and INFphoto

Posted in:Mary Cary|Tits

2009

02

Jun

Some Mary Cary and Ron Jeremy Bullshit of the Day

Mary Cary and Ron Jeremy are two people who are so fucking ugly they make me never want to have sex, or even masturbate again, but for some fucking reason they are both pornstars and get paid to fuck on camera for people to watch and masturbate to.

Shit’s gotta be on some next level fetish, maybe they are ugly brother and sister, but I don’t think that is the case if anything the fact that they’ve made careers getting naked, just gives my wife hope that despite her rash, obesity and mobility issues, she too get get fucked on camera because there will always be someone willing to watch….

Here they are at some launch party for some porn called Celebrity Pornhab with Dr Screw. These porn assholes aren’t just ugly but also comedic geniuses.

Posted in:Mary Cary|Porn|Ron Jeremy

2009

24

Apr

Mary Cary is Scary of the Day

I don’t understand why anyone would jerk off to Mary Cary just because she’s willing to get fucked on camera. I don’t understand why anyone would pay her to fuck on camera. I mean unless it is for fetish shit but if this monster is anyone’s fetish you have some therapy sessions you should be attending, weirdo..

That’s all I have to say about that….

Posted in:Mary Cary|Monster

2009

17

Apr

Mary Cary is Disgusting of the Day

I guess Mary Cary proves that you don’t have to really have much going for you to do porn, you just have to be willing to suck dick, because there is no way that this bitch was every worth fucking, she just had big enough fake tits, blonde enough fake hair, and a willingness to get fucked on camera and sometimes that is enough, because I know I’ve put out ads to get girls to fuck on camera and the talent is usually pretty shitty, but when you need to get a video done you take what you get and that’s obviously how Mary Cary got her start.

Posted in:Breasts|cleavage|Mary Cary|Pig

2009

29

Jan

Mary Cary And Her Tits of the Day

I shouldn’t bother giving this bitch more attention than her daddy issues have made her crave enough to go into porn, to run for governor and to get fake tits to make it all possible because with a face like that, it was really the only option, not that guys really care about what porn chicks look like, they pretty much fall for how dirty the bitch gets and the fact that she’s naked and willing, looks are pretty much a secondary issue, so instead of writing about her, I’ll just post this NSFW link of Mary Cary At Various Work Related Events… , if you know what I mean.

Posted in:Mary Cary|Tits

2007

29

Jun

I am – Jodie Sweetin Goes to the Pink Taco Opening Party of the Day

pt_jodie_sweetin4.jpg

So this is that meth-head Jodie Sweetin who was Stephanie Tanner on Full House when she was a kid. She always took the backseat to the Olsens and from the way I see it, she was just an accessory to making them billionaires, while leaving her in the corner hating herself so much, unable to get work and turning to smoking meth. Think about it, you’re on the same show as these cunts and they don’t even have a fucking talking role because they are still in diapers, but for some reason they still build a fucking empire out of it, while you just fizzle off into nowhere, living in your parents shitty house they bought with your money, your big tits and all, you’d be hurting too…

Reality is that her tits are so fucking stacked that there is no way she was ever really addicted to meth. The way she can barely fit into her jeans makes me think it was some E! True Hollywood lie to get her back into the public eye, land her some interviews on TV and in Magazines and give her the opportunity to show the world she’s still around and by still around I mean her massive tits. This Bitch is all big and bubbly and trying to make a comeback. all the meth addicts I’ve known have had ratty fucking skin, emaciated meth bodies, no tits, yellow meth eyes and have been shaky, speedy, itchy anxiety ridden. I don’t think there is anyway that this bitch was on meth, I think it’s a way to launch a K-Mart product line and series of children’s books.

Either way, she is at the opening of Retard Harry Morton’s restaurant/club called Pink Taco. He’s Lohan’s ex boyfriend, son of the owner of Hard Rock Cafe, Grandson of Morton’s Steakhouse and I am assuming that dude wasn’t inspired by Lohan when he came up with this fucking stupid name, because if he had the place would be called “The Big Spotted and Scabby Red Cunt That Smells Like Shit From Rotten Cum From Other Dudes She had Raw Dog Sex With and Let Drop Load in Her and a Tampon She Forgot in there a Month Ago when She Was Drunk”, I don’t think that would have been so good for business, but he’s a rich kid, he doesn’t need the business to make money, it’s just his dad’s way of giving him something to keep his son busy with…

That Lohan Vagina joke was probably pretty obvious, but I am hungover again and just trying to get through the day….

Other People in Attendance of His Big Opening:


Jessica Alba With Her Extreme Face Close-Up


Some Chick Named Nikki Griffin I want to See Naked


Kristen Cavallari With Her Weird Tattoo


Summer Altice and her Muscles


Kimberly Stewart And her Stupid Outfit


Mary Carey and her Busted Face

Amy Smart

Posted in:Amy Smart|Event|Harry Morton|Jessica Alba|Jodie Sweetin|Kristen Cavallari|Mary Cary|Nikki Griffin|Opening|Pink Taco|Summer Altice|Tits|Unsorted

2007

18

Jun

I am – Mary Cary’s Birthday Party of the Day

mary_cary_top.jpg

So this bitch is a porn star and since pornstar lives consist of getting fucked up and getting fucked, you’d think it’d be a good time. I wouldn’t know because I wasn’t invited. I never get invited to much but a few years ago when working at some porn company in the stock room packing boxes the whole company was invited to one of their launch parties. I remember thinking it was going to be a big deal where I would witness live sex and other dirty things, but it turned out the star of the movie was knocked up by the other star of the movie because they loved fucking each other so much they decided to start a relationship up or some shit. I guess it’s one of those things where since they both work in the porn industry they both can’t get jealous that the other one fucked someone else all day. But I am thinking that there’s really no point of a relationship when you get all the sex you need. I know that when I was a janitor, I never cleaned my house. When I was a gardener, I never mowed my lawn, when I worked in the kitchen of a restaurant, I never ate restaurant food, so if I was a porn star, I probably wouldn’t fuck after work hours.

It really doesn’t matter because my penis doesn’t work and when it did work it was too small to do porn, but I’ve decided that I hate porn chicks. They are too easy and trashy and have fake tits they like showing off. They don’t fuck like real people fuck and they fake orgasms and can’t act. I am way more into subtle sluts who keep the craziness for behind closed doors because that’s what amateur ex girlfriend porn is made of…and not by crying for attention everywhere they go….

Posted in:Birthday|Jessica Jaymes|Mary Cary|Nipple|Tits|Unsorted

2007

18

Jun

I am – Mary Cary's Birthday Party of the Day

mary_cary_top.jpg

So this bitch is a porn star and since pornstar lives consist of getting fucked up and getting fucked, you’d think it’d be a good time. I wouldn’t know because I wasn’t invited. I never get invited to much but a few years ago when working at some porn company in the stock room packing boxes the whole company was invited to one of their launch parties. I remember thinking it was going to be a big deal where I would witness live sex and other dirty things, but it turned out the star of the movie was knocked up by the other star of the movie because they loved fucking each other so much they decided to start a relationship up or some shit. I guess it’s one of those things where since they both work in the porn industry they both can’t get jealous that the other one fucked someone else all day. But I am thinking that there’s really no point of a relationship when you get all the sex you need. I know that when I was a janitor, I never cleaned my house. When I was a gardener, I never mowed my lawn, when I worked in the kitchen of a restaurant, I never ate restaurant food, so if I was a porn star, I probably wouldn’t fuck after work hours.

It really doesn’t matter because my penis doesn’t work and when it did work it was too small to do porn, but I’ve decided that I hate porn chicks. They are too easy and trashy and have fake tits they like showing off. They don’t fuck like real people fuck and they fake orgasms and can’t act. I am way more into subtle sluts who keep the craziness for behind closed doors because that’s what amateur ex girlfriend porn is made of…and not by crying for attention everywhere they go….

Posted in:Birthday|Jessica Jaymes|Mary Cary|Nipple|Tits|Unsorted