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Archive for the Megan Fox Category

2008

15

Dec

Megan Fox Does the Video Game Awards of the Day

I am tired of hearing this bitch being compared to Angelina Jolie. I don’t give a fuck that she’s biting Jolie’s style in hopes of being the next Jolie, I just care that people are treating her like some kind of fucking accomplishment to be the new hot chick bad girl, when all she is is an insecure copycat, proven in the fact that she’s dating David from 90210.

The truth is that I have met many strippers in my day, all of them had some celebrity or pornstar they looked up to and tried to be, but no matter how many times I’d see a fake blonde bitch in a red one piece bathing suit doin’ the Pam Anderson, or how many times I’d see a skinny teenage girl in Christina Aguilera’s catsuit dancing to her Dirty song, I’d know I was dealing with lower grade versions of the shit, even if I’d still fuck them or pay them 10 dollars to touch their tits, despite them giving me this attitude that I’m lucky to be getting with them before their big concert or trip to the fucking South of France, because they thought they were fuckin famous, despite being local whores….

Now I am not a fan of Angelina, I don’t really give a fuck about her, but I hate all the love this Megan Fox gets because she doesn’t need an ego as egos are the one thing that prevents a girl from following her natural calling of suckin’ random dick in bar bathrooms, but instead feeling like their too good to suck dick at all because they are Megan fucking Fox and can’t be fucking bothered, and here she is at the Video Game awards doing her thing for the people who made her who she is, you know the guys who never leave their house because they’re about to get a girl they’ve been talking to on the other side of the world, to show them their mystical powers on World of Warcraft…who constantly big her up and send her fan mail fucking up my whole plan for her to follow the insecure little girl I know she is and maybe that’s the real reason I hate videogames.

Posted in:cleavage|Megan Fox|Video Game Awards

2008

26

Nov

Megan Fox is Still a Slut, Even When Wearing Lots of Clothes and Flying Away For Thanksgiving of the Day

I’m not a lesbian or anything, but Megan Fox pretends she is to get attention from the media and really secure her place as the town whore everyone wants to fuck. Kinda like Katy Perry and her whole kissed a girl shit, proving that men are weak, it doesn’t take very much to get excited, but the least Megan Fox could do is get out of her Brian Austin Green issued uniform that covers her from head to toe, and show us that pussy she’s always talkin’ about using because eventually she’ll have had his kid, since she’s under his spell, and it’ll all be over for her, true story, some crazy lady told me all about it on the bus today, she carrying a bag filled with bras and underwear she picked up at the Salvation Army, so I’m not sure how much of what she says is fact and how much of it is crazy.

Posted in:Megan Fox|Slut

2008

25

Nov

Megan Fox is a Slut Black Dress of the Day

Megan Fox was out in some American Apparel lookin’ dress that girls around here wear out to bars, but she’s doing it in broad daylight. Another more embarrassing thing she’s doing in broad daylight, being seen in public with David from 90210. Sure they are in love, they are a couple, he fucks her, but that’s the kind of shit you pretend doesn’t go on, because as addicted to his cock as you are, you know that he’s a fucking joke and jokes are meant to be kept on bootycall at 4 am after being overserved at the bar. You know the fat chick, the one-legged chick, the midget, or the high functioning chick you’ve been fucking all these years, but won’t introduce her to your family and friends because you have some fucking dignity and you are embarrassed that you lowered yourself to that, you feel weak and controlled by your penis, like Megan Fox is controlled by David from 90210 and probably believes that he’s so fuckin’ down, and so fucking cool, and so fucking trendy, and so fucking bad that it makes her pussy drip and that’s why she’s gone so far as to get shitty lookin’ tattoos to fit in with him, because she’s one of those girls who just really doesn’t know what’s up, and in her mind is living her dream, because she used to wish she was Tori Spelling when lying in bed feeling her teenage pussy to see if it’s sprouted hair yet..and she’s hanging with the wrong fucking crowd, like all those hot girls you see dancing on tables for dudes in Ed Hardy, convinced that they are rollin’ in style, with people who know what’s up, but in reality are just embarrassing themselves and your challenge is to break them free from that to believe you’ve got what they want, which may be hard, because most girls don’t like 3 inch cocks and stamp collections.

I am sure she’ll eventually open her eyes, even if it’s too late and she’s already open her legs for him, but who really cares, it’s not like any of us have to deal with her on any level more than jerking off to her, not that I would do that because she’s overrated, but because you do and I was trying to make you feel better about yourself…

Posted in:Megan Fox|Slut

2008

18

Nov

Megan Fox and Her GQ Outtakes of the Day

In GQ’s attempt to not go bankrupt like every other magazine, they’ve gone ahead and released some outtakes from a Megan Fox shoot that went down a long time ago, because they aren’t idiots and know we all want to see them.

You all love this cunt so fucking much it makes me fucking sick. Sure these photoshopped pictures of her are fucking hot, but if you’ve ever read any interviews with her, which you have, since you have them all saved on your hardd rive for masturbation purposes, you’ll know she’s full of fucking shit, has an ego, thinks she’s the next Angelina Jolie and has probably had some work done to look like the next Angelina Jolie and is a product of her PR company trying to make her out to be some kind of sex symbol, when all she really is is some useless slag with shitty tattoos, not talent who is fucking a guy from the original 90210 with a pretty amazing body that I’d like to hate fuck.

Posted in:GQ|Megan Fox

2008

30

Sep

Megan Fox in a Bra for her New Shitty Movie of the Day

I thought Megan Fox had bigger tits than this. I feel like she’s like the 16 year old girl I saw walking around American Apparel this morning. She was puffing out her chest like some kind of chicken going to war, or peacock trying to impress the female peacocks, and I could tell that she either wasn’t used to having tits or that she was trying to look like her tits were a bigger deal then they were.

These are some stills from her How To Make Friends and Alienate People movie, where she seems to be walking around a party in her bra, something that never happens at the kinds of parties I go to, but in all fairness to the people I party with, they are old, tired, hurting alcoholics and seeing them in a bra would probably not allow me to look at them the same way again, it would actually be pretty out of place, even though Old Jimbo’s got really fat man tits that we all tease him about, but never wish to see, if you know what I mean.

Posted in:Bra|Megan Fox

2008

23

Sep

Megan Fox Is Wet in a Dress in Her Next Movie of the Day

You all love Megan Fox. You think she’s so fucking hot and so fucking cool, but I am convinced that it’s all smoke and mirrors. Sure, she looks like a porn star, but she was some wholesome family programming chick and I am convinced her agents and executives wanted to turn her into a product by giving her that bad girl vibe. I have a feeling her shitty prison tattoos are all part of the bullshit scheme, along with the plastic surgery she’s had to make her look more like Angelina Jolie, and quotes from GQ saying she’s so into Jenna Jameson right now, like some bi-curious bad girl, when everyone knows that real bi-curious bad girls, have no interest in washed up, pregnant porn stars. It’s all like a really bad episode written from the cushy executive offices of the guys who came up with the take the ugly loser girl’s glasses off and let down her ugly loser girl hair and trick the popular boy who teases her that she’s a hot girl into falling in love with her or of the producer of Full House or, I’m just waiting for the cheesy music to chime in, so that we can all come to an agreement and understand each other’s point of view, but I am hoping before that music chimes in, Brian Austin Green from 90210 gets hit by a bus, because you always need a casualty to get a point across….

Either way, she is hot, she is lame, and her nipples are hard in her new movie. These are the stills, that I am allowed to post, so the paparazzi can’t sue me for this one. Fuckers.

Here’s the video, the movie looks stupid and I hate MGM for sending them to every site, here I was thinking I had an exclusive, before realizing that I never have an exclusive.

Posted in:Megan Fox|Wet

2008

16

Sep

Megan Fox is Just Like You of the Day

So Megan Fox is jumping on this lesbian train because when interviewed by GQ she went off on how she used to date a Russian Stripper named Nikita and by date she means she’d show up at her work, buy lap dances, give her drinks while promising her a better life not stripping, sound familiar, you lonely fuck? She claims it happened when she was 18 and when her boyfriend dumped her and it’s really one of those typical stories that I call a fuckin’ lie trying to get guys to jerk off to her harder than they already do and because bitch is just trying to get on the lesbian train for attention. The main reason I know shit’s a lie is because she said she thinks Jenna Jameson is hot and is obsessed with her and anyone in their right mind knows that’s a canned answer from 5 years ago. This bitch obviously lives in a fucking bubble, a theory supported by the fact that she’s dating some heart throb from 15 years ago and still thinks he’s good enough for her box.

Either way, she got in a bikini for GQ and these are the pics….

Posted in:Bikini|Lesbian|Megan Fox

2008

01

Sep

Megan Fox and Brian Austin Green Go to The Movies of the Day

Megan Fox went to see Dark Knight this weekend because she’s one of those too cool for pop culture people who has no problem making millions of dollars being in shitty action movies, but won’t bring herself to go see the biggest action movie of the year because she thinks of herself as more of an artist who can’t stomach that smut hollywood puts out. I mean I could be wrong about her, but one thing I do know is that she went with Brian Austin Green, someone I consider the dried up cum left on the bathroom floor from the smut that hollywood produced 15 years ago, so I guess she’s inconsistent but you still find her hot so here she is…


Posted in:Brian Austin Green|Megan Fox|Movies

2008

20

Aug

Megan Fox Grabbing Her Tit on Set of the Day

So Megan Fox is filming Transformers 2, because I guess one wasn’t good enough and I wouldn’t know that for a fact because I haven’t seen it and don’t plan on it, despite watching the shit when I was 12 and learning english, but I do know that I don’t really get all the hype that surrounds this chick. She’s some girl who pretends to be a slut by lookin’ like a pornstar, but is dating possibly the least threatening man in the world who was on fuckin’ 90210 and she’s had plastic surgery to transform her to look more like Angelina Jolie and that kind of insecurity isn’t really sexy but her shitty prison tattoos like she’s from the fuckin’ trailer park are, I mean who doesn’t like the idea of lookin at a cheap rendition of Marilyn Monroe while getting a hand job to help you cum and keep you entertained as you pretend she’s talking to your dick, but seriously, other than that bonus, this Megan Fox chick sucks (the dude from 90210’s dick). Here she is on set adjusting her tits.

Posted in:Megan Fox|Tit Grab

2008

04

Aug

Megan Fox is a Drunken Stepmother of the Day

So Megan Fox is a stepmother, I didn’t know that and have a new found respect for her because I am a firm believer that being in an extended family is better than having your own family. Not only can you escape pretty much all responsibility when you want, but you can also get that taste of parent hood to make you realize you made the right choice in not ruining your body or your pocketbook.

The other exciting thing about extended families is that you can fuck each other without having any genetic mutant babies, which is good news for Brian Austin Green’s kid he had with Vanessa Marcil, because in a few years, when he accidentally walks in on his stepmother showering, it’ll be okay to jerk off to what he say. If he’s really lucky, maybe the fact that he only has half of Brian Austin Green’s shitty genes and is a diluted version of the loser, will get Megan Fox lubed up and this kid will be living out my fantasy of being molested by a hot stepmother. That could just my jealousy of molested kids speaking, because no one took the time to molest me growing up and I feel like i’ve really missed out, or maybe it’s just the fact that seeing Megan Fox move onto new dick like the slut that she dresses like and pretends to be excites me.

Either way, here she is with her stepson.

Posted in:Megan Fox|Stepmother

2008

16

May

Megan Fox Gets Mexican With Her 90210-Friend of the Day

Megan Fox is comforting her boyfriend at a Mexican restaurant because he just realized that he is Brian Austin Green, the asshole from 90210 and he can’t quite figure out how he landed such a young hot piece of ass being Brian Austin Green, since it’s not 1995 anymore, and either can we, but I hear despite the initial shock, he’s happy that he has hot pussy to distract himself with because it is a much better outcome than his original plan of escaping that “90210 role of a lifetime” that seems to follow him everywhere by killing himself, it’s just not a better outcome for us.

Posted in:Megan Fox|Mexican

2008

12

May

Megan Fox Topless Pictures of the Day

Image Removed due to Papparazzi

I got with a girl once who had the biggest tits. For the month it took me to finally get her topless, I would just stare at her tits thinking about how big and luscious they were. I remember her having the most spectacular cleavage and trying to look down her top every time she bent over.

One night when drunk, I managed to start making out with her. I slid my hand up her shirt and under her bra and started hunting her massive breast for what I was hoping would be perky little nipples because my fantasies had me believing that I was dealing with perfection and not the big tits that have big downward sloping nipples.

After my exploration, I couldn’t find any fuckin’ nipple, and I looked as hard as I fuckin’ could. I started panicking and decided the only solution was to get her shirt off, so I could see what I was dealing with and maybe my hand wasn’t communicating the right message back to my brain because I was drunk. So her shirt came off because I made her think I was going to suck her tits, her amazing tits were finally exposed and lookin’ back at me only they didn’t have any fuckin’ nipples.

Her shit stain was the same color as her tits and her nipple was inverted and shit looked a lot like what you see on a mannequin at the store. I was kinda thrown off and uncomfortable about the whole thing, but still fucked her, and discovered first hand that a nipple-less tit is an inferior tit no matter how nicely shaped it is.

These Megan Fox topless pictures remind me of that horrible night, but at least her pasties come off when she gets home to her 90210 loser boyfriend.

Posted in:Megan Fox|Pasties|Topless

2008

23

Apr

Megan Fox With a Fox of the Day

I am not some kind of art fag and I generally don’t make commentary on the way someone takes a picture, makes a video or whatever the fuck takes some level of artistic vision, because I honestly couldn’t care less. But when I look at these pictures of Megan Fox with an actual fox, I get offended by the lack of thought that went into the fuckin’ picture. I wonder who set up this fuckin’ shoot, maybe it was a 3 year old consulting the photographer saying “Fox” and pointing to a picture of a fox while he knew he had to shoot Megan Fox and was like “why didn’t I think of that” or some shit. The truth is I fuckin’ hate literal images, like videos that pretty much explain what I am lookin’ at or listening too like I am some kind of fuckin’ retarded kid in a helmet running into the fuckin’ wall.

The only time this kind of thing would be acceptable is if they had Jennifer Lopez posing with a migrant border jumpin’ beaner cleaning her hotel room, or maybe a Paris Hilton video of her in a Hilton Hotel that they were about to implode in order to build a new state of the art building because it’s old and haggard, but that’s just cuz I think her time’s expired and we need a new one. I guess it’d be ok if there were pictures of Miley Cyrus posing with 300 Iranian dudes named Cyrus and by posing I mean being jerked of on by….

Either way, here’s Megan Fox with a Fox and an example of the shittiest creative vision in this photoshoot.


A reader sent in a video of his song and it pretty much sums up what I’m saying…..
GO

Posted in:Fox|Literal|Megan Fox

2008

26

Mar

Megan Fox Hiding at the Airport of the Day

Image Removed due to Papparazzi

Looks like Megan Fox just found out that we all know she’s been having sex with Brian Austin Green of 90210 fame and she’s embarrassed and hiding. I guess whenever your dirty little secrets get out, it takes a little while to get over it because you know that despite the friendly faces and smiles people give you, they actually think you’re some kind of deranged sexual deviant. Kinda like that time your mom walked in on you jerking off to gay porn or the time you got arrested for kidnapping that girl, undressing her and lockin’ her in your basement for 24 hours before letting her go but keeping her panties as a souvenir leading to your big debut on the local news and on the cover of the local paper making your family, friends and colleagues really fuckin’ proud to know you.

The truth is that sacrificing a hot pussy to such a lame motherfucker is even worse than any of those things as far as embarrassment goes. Shit proves to the world that you either have no standards, no self respect, or some kind of twisted sexual appetite that involves losers. In reality, his dick murdered her sex appeal and he should be the one arrested, but unfortunately she let it happen and for that – she’s summoned to this walk of shame.

The good news is that like the time you got caught by your mom doing inappropriate things people are supposed to do themselves, it will blow over, because time heals but you know that every time she looks at you, she still shudders in shame…because I guess somethings just aren’t so easy to forget no matter how much drugs, booze, or time goes by. Brian Austin Green is one of those things but I’d still stuff this bitch like a thanksgiving turkey, but that’s only because I don’t have shit on Brian Austin Green, he’s actually cooler than I am and that is one of the many reasons I’ve contemplated suicide.

Posted in:Airport|Hiding|Megan Fox

2008

22

Feb

Megan Fox has Lohan on Her Arm of the Day

Here are some pictures of a classy Megan Fox with her shitty tattoo and hot tits that got her out of the gutter she obviously came from because no girl from money would be impressed by Brian Austin Green enough to let him have sex with them.

I read somewhere that bitch was poverty and luckily for her family, she wasn’t ugly, because when you’re poor and have a good lookin’ kid, it only means one thing and that is a meal ticket. The reason is that poor ugly girl just have absolutely no hope where as a hot poor girl can always find a way out, whether it’s sucking dick for money, dancing on a pole for money, or hooking up with older married men, getting pregnant and blackmailing them for money. There are options…

I guess the point of all this is to say that her Marilyn Monroe tattoo is obsolete now that Lohan has taken on her personal and trying to steal her thunder. Now every time anyone looks at Megan Fox they are going to think of Lohan. It’s kinda like the time a friend of mine drank the last beer, so I fucked this girlfriend when they were on a break and gave her herpes, knowing they would get back together and every time she gets an outbreak they’ll think of me. I win motherfucker….

Related Posts:

Megan Fox and a Hot Water Bottle
Megan Fox Gets Coffee With Her Lame Boyfriend
Megan Fox Has Hard Nipples
Megan Fox Lookin Good in Red
Megan Fox and Her Boyfriend
Megan Fox in a Pink Dress

Posted in:cleavage|Lohan|Megan Fox|Tattoo|Tits