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Archive for the Michelle Trachtenberg Category

2007

06

Sep

I am – Michelle Trachtenberg’s Whore Lipstick of the Day

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So I didn’t give up on the Token Gay Blogger, even though he thought I did. I just overlooked this post of his for a day because I was out getting drunk and I like making people feel insecure about themselves, it usually keeps them on their toes to pump out stronger, better, faster posts that will actually make me famous. So I am still convinced the Gay Blogger is going to make all the difference for me, while Michelle Trachtenberg may be making all the difference for the Jewish girls she used to go to summer camp with….it gives them massive street cred at temple….

Here is his post:

So I was walking down the street today and I noticed there was a lot of traffic, which I thought was strange for the hour of the day. As I kept walking, I came to a crosswalk where there was this homeless guy, standing in the middle of the street directing traffic. Of course he was no good at it because he was homeless, which means he was drunk and/or high and/or crazy and he was causing all kinds of confusion. People were honking at him and screaming and just generally pissed off. But I thought “Good for you Homeless Guy! Grab life by the horns and go for it!” See, he could’ve been like every other homeless person and just sit on the sidewalk and ask for change or play a shitty guitar or paint a shitty painting but no, he wanted to be different so he just jumped in the middle of the road and directed traffic. He is an inspiration to us all.

Which brings me to Miss Tranchtenberg. See, she hasn’t done much since she was on Buffy, sure was in a few episodes of Six Feet Under and a few shitty movies, but she is not doing all that much to separate herself from every other young starlet. So what’s her solution? Putting on whoreish red lipstick? Sorry, sweetheart, Xtina already did it (and she looked a trillion times better too). I think Michelle needs to take some lessons from our homeless friend and do something daring. So, Michelle, wipe off the whore lipstick and do something unexpected.

Like make a sequel to Harriet the Spy.

Smooch!

Julien


Related Posts:

Michelle Trachtenberg Shopping With Her Fat Mom
Michelle Trachtenberg Bathing Suit Pictures
Michelle Trachtenberg stepSTALKER Post
Michelle Trachtenberg Stalker Post Number 2

Posted in:Jewish|Michelle Trachtenberg|Red Lipstick|Slut|Unsorted|Whore

2007

15

Jun

I am – Michelle Trachtenberg Shopping With Mom of the Day

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I saw these pictures and felt compelled to post them because I am convinced that if any other celebrity site bothered to post them they’d make a joke about what Michelle Trachtenberg is going to look like when she gets older, like that whole look at their mother bullshit theory idiots say when they date girls with fat moms.

My theory is who cares what the mother looks like, it’s not like you’re going to be with them long enough to see that happen. If you’re lucky enough to have a girlfriend who lets you see her naked right now, I can pretty much guarantee she’s not the girl who is going to marry you, she’s just going through a phase, unless she already looks like Michelle Trachtenberg’s mom.

Let’s face it, ugly chicks are desperate and have cinderella wedding dreams too…and it takes losers like you to make those dream come true. So don’t think that your life has no purpose, because it does, just not a very amazing purpose that a lot of people would envy, but reality is that you shouldn’t want people to envy you. You’re your very own Make a Wish Foundation….

I am not here to shit on you and your dreams, I just encourage everyone to do what makes them happy and who am I to judge you. Just because I married a bitch who is fatter and more disgusting than this Trachtenberg mom and from my experience I think that marrying old fat cooter is like marrying a pile of shit, only this pile of shit eats and nags and eats and sleeps and complains and tries to sleep with you when you really don’t want to see them naked or venture into those parts traumatizing you to the point where you can’t get boners anymore…doesn’t make me an expert. Reality is, you shouldn’t even be reading this.

Posted in:Fat|Jewish|Michelle Trachtenberg|Mom|Unsorted