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Archive for the Michelle Trachtenberg Category

2008

27

May

Michelle Trachtenberg Takes Herself Too Seriously of the Day

So I have this dude I don’t know on Facebook and I am pretty sure it’s safe to say that I won’t have this dude on my Facebook much longer because I took his pictures and put them up here, but I pretty much had no choice because they were too funny to ignore.

I don’t know much about this dude, other than the fact that he is friends with Lydia Hearst and Michelle Trachtenberg and they were recently at a birthday party, where he decided to wipe out all of Michelle Trachtenberg’s face in all of the pics of her.

It’s like this bitch thinks she’s so fucking important that when a dude takes pics of her, she makes dude promise not to do anything with them, I am wondering if it’s for fear of ruining her career because going out for dinner and having a cocktail while your bra is exposed is really fuckin’ scandalous when you are boring as fuck.

We get it, she has creepy fans and she doesn’t like to be out in the limelight, but we kinda realized that a long time ago when she couldn’t land much work after her stint on Buffy, making her barely relevant to the world now, but for some reason I guess she likes to think she is more important than she is and is hoping that by telling people they can’t upload her pics that maybe they’ll start believing her propaganda too, and treat her like she’s special. It’s like the time I told this chick repeatedly how small my penis was until she demanded to see it because she didn’t believe any penis could be that small, but I made a believer out of her pretty fast.

I don’t know who the fuck Michelle Trachtenberg thinks she is, some kind of Princess Diana Royal Family or some shit, but in case she didn’t get the memo, Princess Diana is dead.

Posted in:Michelle Trachtenberg|Serious

2008

15

May

Michelle Trachtenberg Shouldn’t Hang With Skinny Girls of the Day

Michelle Trachtenberg went to some Nylon event because she’s got nothing better to do with her time that hang out with a bunch of self-proclaimed fashionistas at their magazine party, but she made the mistake of showing up with Billionaire Lydia Hearst because next to skinny Lydia Hearst, Michelle Trachtenberg looks like some kind of monster. Her enitre body, from face to thick angles looks like she lost a mud wrestling match with elephantism, but I’m not doctor, I could be wrong.

I kinda have a soft spot in my heart for Lydia Hearst. We became facebook friends and she was always nice enough to answer me up until recently. I tried to convince her to buy my site off me because I can’t afford to pay the servers or to license pictures and thought she had lots of excess money from her greatgrandfather’s media empire, but she didn’t bite, so if the site gets shut down, you know who is resposible for it.

BONUS: Lydia Hearst at Some Other Event Showin’ Some Tit

Posted in:Fat|Lydia Hearst|Michelle Trachtenberg|Skinny

2008

06

May

Michelle Trachtenberg’s Got Nipple Pasties of the Day

There was some event called the Museum of Art Costume Institute Gala last night and besides it being one the most obnoxious sounding event names a lot of people showed up. The more interesting of the bunch was probably Michelle Trachtenberg because she wrapped her nipples up like a Christmas gift, despite being a Jew, while wearing a pretty see through top. I guess being left out and watching all those Christians in her elementary school class doing the secret Santa gift exchange while she sat in the corner playing with her dreidel while speaking yiddish to herself has emotionally scarred her enough to develop an addiction to wrapping up everything in the house on a regular basis in gold paper, sometimes even her body parts or maybe she just didn’t want us to see her Jew nipple. I heard they don’t look like a regular nipple because of the generations of inbreeding and obsessing over the whole Holocaust thing they can’t seem to get over, but they sure are good at making money and not spending it on tipping waiters.

Posted in:Michelle Trachtenberg|Nipples|Pasties

2008

21

Apr

Michelle Trachtenberg’s Jew Kiss of Death for Passover of the Day

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Here are some pictures of Michelle Trachtenberg making out with some Gossip Girl motherfucker. I figured this would upset some of you Buffy fans who still masturbate to Buffy reruns and have her pictures printed up and put into a scrapbook you keep under your bed. It’s really just a numbers game since Buffy was designed for losers and so was the Internet and since I have a website and you are reading it, then you are a loser too, possibly one whole liked Buffy.

The good news is that it’s passover and Jews aren’t allowed to eat yeast so no one will be lickin’ your favorite pussy for the next week so you can be happy that this kiss doesn’t lead to her promised land, but at the same time, realize that she’s getting paid to make out with some dude, which to me is total prostitution. I wonder what Moses would have to say about this…..

Yes, I am capable of making really bad jokes.

Posted in:Jew|Kiss|Michelle Trachtenberg

2008

02

Apr

Michelle Trachtenberg’s Jewish Girl Outfit of the Day

Since being hacked, I can’t upload images but had these ones already uploaded last week but never posted them because they suck. Unfortunately, I have no choice but to revisit last week, when Michelle Trachtenberg was on the set of Gossip Girl because I guess she landed a job, finally.

The reason I bothered with this pictures in the first place was because I had a feeling you are one of those virgin losers who loves Buffy and I was trying to make fun of you but realized it wasn’t funny and still isn’t so I backburnered the shit. I guess I could talk about her Jewish Outfit of the Day but since she’s Jewish, it’s just standard uniform and would be like making fun of a cop for dressing in a cop uniform or an arab for wearing his bed sheets.

I guess until I get the site up, this is the best I can do for you. Deal with it.

Posted in:Jewish Outfit of the Day|Michelle Trachtenberg

2007

06

Sep

I am – Michelle Trachtenberg's Whore Lipstick of the Day

michelle_trachtenberg_lips_top.jpg

So I didn’t give up on the Token Gay Blogger, even though he thought I did. I just overlooked this post of his for a day because I was out getting drunk and I like making people feel insecure about themselves, it usually keeps them on their toes to pump out stronger, better, faster posts that will actually make me famous. So I am still convinced the Gay Blogger is going to make all the difference for me, while Michelle Trachtenberg may be making all the difference for the Jewish girls she used to go to summer camp with….it gives them massive street cred at temple….

Here is his post:

So I was walking down the street today and I noticed there was a lot of traffic, which I thought was strange for the hour of the day. As I kept walking, I came to a crosswalk where there was this homeless guy, standing in the middle of the street directing traffic. Of course he was no good at it because he was homeless, which means he was drunk and/or high and/or crazy and he was causing all kinds of confusion. People were honking at him and screaming and just generally pissed off. But I thought “Good for you Homeless Guy! Grab life by the horns and go for it!” See, he could’ve been like every other homeless person and just sit on the sidewalk and ask for change or play a shitty guitar or paint a shitty painting but no, he wanted to be different so he just jumped in the middle of the road and directed traffic. He is an inspiration to us all.

Which brings me to Miss Tranchtenberg. See, she hasn’t done much since she was on Buffy, sure was in a few episodes of Six Feet Under and a few shitty movies, but she is not doing all that much to separate herself from every other young starlet. So what’s her solution? Putting on whoreish red lipstick? Sorry, sweetheart, Xtina already did it (and she looked a trillion times better too). I think Michelle needs to take some lessons from our homeless friend and do something daring. So, Michelle, wipe off the whore lipstick and do something unexpected.

Like make a sequel to Harriet the Spy.

Smooch!

Julien


Related Posts:

Michelle Trachtenberg Shopping With Her Fat Mom
Michelle Trachtenberg Bathing Suit Pictures
Michelle Trachtenberg stepSTALKER Post
Michelle Trachtenberg Stalker Post Number 2

Posted in:Jewish|Michelle Trachtenberg|Red Lipstick|Slut|Unsorted|Whore

2007

06

Sep

I am – Michelle Trachtenberg’s Whore Lipstick of the Day

michelle_trachtenberg_lips_top.jpg

So I didn’t give up on the Token Gay Blogger, even though he thought I did. I just overlooked this post of his for a day because I was out getting drunk and I like making people feel insecure about themselves, it usually keeps them on their toes to pump out stronger, better, faster posts that will actually make me famous. So I am still convinced the Gay Blogger is going to make all the difference for me, while Michelle Trachtenberg may be making all the difference for the Jewish girls she used to go to summer camp with….it gives them massive street cred at temple….

Here is his post:

So I was walking down the street today and I noticed there was a lot of traffic, which I thought was strange for the hour of the day. As I kept walking, I came to a crosswalk where there was this homeless guy, standing in the middle of the street directing traffic. Of course he was no good at it because he was homeless, which means he was drunk and/or high and/or crazy and he was causing all kinds of confusion. People were honking at him and screaming and just generally pissed off. But I thought “Good for you Homeless Guy! Grab life by the horns and go for it!” See, he could’ve been like every other homeless person and just sit on the sidewalk and ask for change or play a shitty guitar or paint a shitty painting but no, he wanted to be different so he just jumped in the middle of the road and directed traffic. He is an inspiration to us all.

Which brings me to Miss Tranchtenberg. See, she hasn’t done much since she was on Buffy, sure was in a few episodes of Six Feet Under and a few shitty movies, but she is not doing all that much to separate herself from every other young starlet. So what’s her solution? Putting on whoreish red lipstick? Sorry, sweetheart, Xtina already did it (and she looked a trillion times better too). I think Michelle needs to take some lessons from our homeless friend and do something daring. So, Michelle, wipe off the whore lipstick and do something unexpected.

Like make a sequel to Harriet the Spy.

Smooch!

Julien


Related Posts:

Michelle Trachtenberg Shopping With Her Fat Mom
Michelle Trachtenberg Bathing Suit Pictures
Michelle Trachtenberg stepSTALKER Post
Michelle Trachtenberg Stalker Post Number 2

Posted in:Jewish|Michelle Trachtenberg|Red Lipstick|Slut|Unsorted|Whore

2007

15

Jun

I am – Michelle Trachtenberg Shopping With Mom of the Day

michelle_trachtenberg_mom3.jpg

I saw these pictures and felt compelled to post them because I am convinced that if any other celebrity site bothered to post them they’d make a joke about what Michelle Trachtenberg is going to look like when she gets older, like that whole look at their mother bullshit theory idiots say when they date girls with fat moms.

My theory is who cares what the mother looks like, it’s not like you’re going to be with them long enough to see that happen. If you’re lucky enough to have a girlfriend who lets you see her naked right now, I can pretty much guarantee she’s not the girl who is going to marry you, she’s just going through a phase, unless she already looks like Michelle Trachtenberg’s mom.

Let’s face it, ugly chicks are desperate and have cinderella wedding dreams too…and it takes losers like you to make those dream come true. So don’t think that your life has no purpose, because it does, just not a very amazing purpose that a lot of people would envy, but reality is that you shouldn’t want people to envy you. You’re your very own Make a Wish Foundation….

I am not here to shit on you and your dreams, I just encourage everyone to do what makes them happy and who am I to judge you. Just because I married a bitch who is fatter and more disgusting than this Trachtenberg mom and from my experience I think that marrying old fat cooter is like marrying a pile of shit, only this pile of shit eats and nags and eats and sleeps and complains and tries to sleep with you when you really don’t want to see them naked or venture into those parts traumatizing you to the point where you can’t get boners anymore…doesn’t make me an expert. Reality is, you shouldn’t even be reading this.

Posted in:Fat|Jewish|Michelle Trachtenberg|Mom|Unsorted