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Archive for the Mila Kunis Category

2010

30

Mar

Mila Kunis Shows Off Her Tits Culkin of the Day

I don’t know where these Mila Kunis pictures are from, but I do know that I have a thing for Mila Kunis. She is the reason I made it through a Russell Brand movie. She is the reason I used to get hard watching Family Guy. She is the reason I watched That 70s Show and almost liked it. There’s just something mystical about Mila Kunis and that thing is not the fact that she is engaged to Michael Jackson’s emotionally distraught, confused, drugged up ex-child star….

Macaulay Culkin managing to convince her into his bedroom despite his probably AIDS dick, is the one thing that is wrong with her, I mean sure, their relationship means she’s loyal and not too picky, doesn’t mind people who don’t shower and that she has no issue running after her childhood dreams and that she gets what she sets her mind to, even if that thing isn’t reaching for the stars, but I just hope she just feel obligated to be there for Macaulay Culkin since no one else is, in some friendship and maternal way, since he’s gay.

The whole thing is unfortunate, but her showing off her tits for some male attention that she’s not getting at home is really one of the best things in Hollywood according to me, which isn’t saying much, but it’s saying something.

Posted in:cleavage|Mila Kunis|Tits

2010

23

Mar

Mila Kunis is a Hot Cowboy of the Day

I have a think for Cowboys, especially when they aren’t Gay and in bars causing me headaches after having temper tantrums about comments I make to fat groupies.

I also have a thing for Mila Kunis, this girl drives me crazy pretty much everytime I see her, until I think about how she’s engaged to Home Alone Culkin, who looks like he is dying a slow HIV positive death from sharing needles…not that that would stop me from sharing her as he foams at the mouth in the corner thanks to all the pills he’s been popping…

Seriously…Mila Kunis is perfection. I watched Forgetting Sarah Silverman at least twice because of her sex scene and she was the only reason there was That 70s Show.

So good job GQ at making all my dreams come true…

Posted in:Cowboy|GQ|Mila Kunis

2009

11

Dec

Mila Kunis cuz she Fucks the Kid from Home Alone of the Day

It looks like all Mila Kunis is gonna get for Christmas is ugly….I don’t know what happened to her, because I saw her in at least one movie and she looked pretty alright and I remember her from 70s Show and despite being 12 year old, she was the best looking one, which compared to the manly redhead, that may not be saying much, but I didn’t expect her to ever look like this. I can only blame Culkin for taking down his dark and slippery road that took him from being the cute loveable kid in Home Alone to the cute loveable kid Michael Jackson was cumming inside, like some kind of fuck-slut…or maybe it’s totally unrelated, and really I’d take her as is, or with her whatever addicition and diseases her love affair with Culkin has brought her vagina over the years, cuz even at her worst, she’s better than some of the shit I’ve stuck my dick in, except that time I fucked a ziploc bag filled with yogurt and broken glass because the pain, blood and soothing vanilla scent reminded me that I was alive…

Pics via INF

Posted in:Hot|Mila Kunis

2009

01

Dec

Mila Kunis Slutting It Out for Blackbook of the Day

I love Mila Kunis. I used to think about jerking off to her on That 70s Show and I really started thinking about jerking off to her in Forgetting Sarah Silverman, where she played the hot hotel desk clerk who fucks the guests. The only reason I didn’t like her is because her boyfriend of many years is Macauley Culkin, who I just watched in Home Alone, back before he looked like he was dying of aids, back when he was taking Michael Jackson in his ass, but I guess I shouldn’t let that phase me, because seeing her in Blackbook photoshoot reminds me that I like her by making me think about jerking off to these pics….I’m just to lazy and inadequate….but maybe you’ve got more spirit in you than I do…Go Team…

Posted in:Mila Kunis|Photoshoot|Slut

2009

27

Jul

Mila Kunis is All Dressed Up for Comic-Con of the Day

Mila Kunis knows all the fuckin’ answers. She gets forced to do Comic-Con to promote some new movie she is in because it’s targeted to virgin comic book people and because it’s in her contract, so she figures she’ll go in her fuckin’ pajamas because the fact that she’s Mila Kunis is enough for the virgin weirdos to drop to their knees and start worshiping her for bringing a vagina so close to them in their own little world, a world that vagina is so scarce in, all while saving her time getting dressed up and done up and lookin’ good.

I guess virginal socially awkward geeks are good for a girl’s self esteem because they aren’t too demanding just as long as it’s a girl talking to them, and they haven’t fainted, shit is good enough. So if anything, it makes no sense why they are virgins because they aren’t as judgemental as regular dudes and give ugly chicks the opportunity to feel valued for a minute, while normal dudes are too busy laughing at them and callin’ them fat.

I guess what it comes down to is that no matter how ugly a chick is, she would only bed one of these Comic-Con type dudes if he made millions with his geek shit, and I’m talking dollars, not Star Trek models, I’m talking money, because money makes a vagina forget how fuckin’ lame an asshole and his collection of comics and action figures is and here is Mila Kunis lookin’ dumpy as shit, but still good enough for me, but that’s only because I have a crush on her mainly cuz I know she’s into ass play, based on the fact that she dates Michael Jackson’s boytoy Culkin who learnt about that shit at a young age….

Either way, here are the pics….

Posted in:Comic-Con|Mila Kunis|Sweatpants

2008

18

Sep

Look Down Mila Kunis’ Shirt of the Day

Mila Kunis is cool shit, unfortunately, everytime I look at her, I think about her rockin’ a strap-on fuckin’ that bi-sexual lookin’ Culkin she’s been dating the last decade and I haven’t really figured out if that’s part of the reason why I think she’s cool shit, or if it is what turns me off about her, but it doesn’t really matter, what does matter is that she’s bending over and showing the world her titties and I guess for a simple person, like me, that’s enough for me to ignore the fact that she’s fucking Michael Jackson’s sloppy seconds, which is something that would normally throw me off.

Posted in:Mila Kunis|Tits

2008

30

May

Mila Kunis is Hot Pumping Gas of the Day

The only thing that could justify these gas prices is if Mila Kunis gave you a blowjob everytime you fill your tank.
Thanks Iraq.

Posted in:Mila Kunis

2008

18

Apr

Mila Kunis Does GQ Photoshoot of the Day

Since I’ve been doing this a long time, I kind of understand the cycle that celebrities go through when they are promoting movies because they all go to the same route and all have the same worthless publicist who uses the same fuckin’ contacts to get the same kind of exposure as all the other girls. They all do the same daytime TV shows, late night TV shows, magazines and GQ is one of them and this is Mila Kunis’ shoot.

It’s like a bitch is pretty much non-exitant for years then all of sudden she’s everywhere, people are writing about her, people are talking about her, all because of her stupid movie when they should be giving her dirty looks for being the girl who fuck’s that kid from Home Alone, because whenever I tell people how I wanna bang the girl from Parent Trap they all give me dirty look….Life is unfair more proof of that is how much this photoshoot sucks. If I did GQ, I’d make sure they sprawl me out in a skimpy bikini on a bear fur rug, but only because fat guys in bikinis always gets a cheap laugh and at this point I am willing to do pretty much anything to make someone laugh…

Posted in:GQ|Mila Kunis|Photoshoot

2008

16

Apr

Mila Kunis Did TRL of the Day

I like this Mila Kunis slut who isn’t really a slut considering she’s been slamming the same dude for many years, but who I can assume is a slut by association because Culkin doesn’t do much and looks like he’s into coke-raged experimental shit in the bedroom because guys with money who don’t do much tend to fuck a lot, and since my only reference point for Culkin today is that movie Party Monster where he plays a weird homo club promoter murderer named Michael Alig, a movie that influenced all these loser hipsters to bring back stupid costumes to the dance floors. My other reference point for Culkin was a 10 year old boy who spent a lot of time with Michael Jackson and since everyone assumes MJ is some child rapist and 80% of the gay dudes I know were victims of molestation by older men when they were kids, it would only make sense that Culkin revisits men every once in a while when he’s in the mood to feel young again making Kunis at risk for HIV like all girls who date bisexuals.

The truth is that I am convinced Michael Jackson doesn’t molest kids, I am convinced he’s had his penis amputated to keep his high pitch singing and that lack of testosterone means no sex drive and his love for Peter Pan is something he can only share with young kids and we all like to relate to someone sometimes…..

Either way, Kunis was on TRL and I want to bang her.

Posted in:Mila Kunis|TRL

2008

09

Apr

Mila Kunis is a Jew I’d Like to Fuck of the Day

The Jewish girls I come across look more like a muppet than anything I’d want to fuck. You know with their big noses and droopy eyes, something so wonky lookin’ that you’d expect it them to have a hand jacked up their asses making them whine about everything they can think of on their way to get get their nails and hair done in daddy’s Lexus SUV because daddy doesn’t buy German cars after what the German’s did to his people or some shit. I just always blamed the facial disorder on the incest the strength of the culture is based on. It was also the reason I had for their asthma, allergies, bad eyesight and money making ability. So when I see Mila Kunis knowing she’s Jew I get thrown off in a good way. Maybe I shouldn’t be so quick to judge their people because there’s always going to be an exception to the rule and maybe I should be more accepting as a person but the truth is I am pretty accepting and just cuz a bitch looks like a muppet never stopped me from letting them show off their blow job skills they learnt in camp on me. I actually encourage rich girls whose parents want them to marry into their religion to use me as a form of rebellion against the family but that’s just because when a bitch thinks she’s being naughty, it usually comes through in the way she fucks, so Muppet-faced or not, I am usually always down for a good time.

Unfortunately, Mila Kunis has some sick Home Alone 1 through 3 fantasy that’s lead her to end up with Macaulay Culkin. She’s been with him for 8 years or some shit and seems like she is under his child star spell, so that just leaves me with jerking off to her voice on Family Guy or reruns of That 70s Show, now all I need to make that happen is a TV. I guess it’s good to have dreams.

In case you didn’t know, Complex featured me in their magazine too. I guess that may make their editorial team questionable, but I think it makes them my friend so click the link and show them some love, because they showed me love and that’s gotta count for something.

To See The Article and Rest of the Pictures
GO

Posted in:Complex|Jew|Mila Kunis

2007

08

Jun

I am – Mila Kunis Wears Short Shorts of the Day

mila_kunis_shorts8.jpg

So I ended up going out to the Steve Aoki show because I thought it would be funny. I thought there would be lots of sluts and I figured that if someone you write a post about saying they bang their sister ends up hookin’ you up to go to their event, you gotta take the opportunity to see if they will have a baseball bat in hand to take your face off.

I got to the club, they didn’t want to let me in, they told me that I wasn’t on the list and that I didn’t meet dress code standards. I somehow swindled my way into the club promising the bouncers I wouldn’t leave the DJ Booth area and mingle with their clients….

I walked up to Aoki, some groupie with fake tits was talking to him, shook his hand, knocked her drink out of her hand and she spilled it all over herself and tried to tell me off. He was very nice about things and I ended up having a good time drinking off the club’s bottle of Grey Goose and lookin’ up girls skirts. So the advice of the day is try to offend people enough so they know who you are, then ask them for free shit.

Here are some pictures of Mila Kunis because she was on that 70s Show and Aoki’s DJ partner is on that 70s show and she’s wearing short shorts….

I am running off 2 hours of sleep – I’ll be back on later today with more hits.

Posted in:Ass|Legs|Mila Kunis|Shorts|Unsorted