I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

Archive for the Mila Kunis Category

2008

18

Sep

Look Down Mila Kunis’ Shirt of the Day

Mila Kunis is cool shit, unfortunately, everytime I look at her, I think about her rockin’ a strap-on fuckin’ that bi-sexual lookin’ Culkin she’s been dating the last decade and I haven’t really figured out if that’s part of the reason why I think she’s cool shit, or if it is what turns me off about her, but it doesn’t really matter, what does matter is that she’s bending over and showing the world her titties and I guess for a simple person, like me, that’s enough for me to ignore the fact that she’s fucking Michael Jackson’s sloppy seconds, which is something that would normally throw me off.

Posted in:Mila Kunis|Tits

2008

30

May

Mila Kunis is Hot Pumping Gas of the Day

The only thing that could justify these gas prices is if Mila Kunis gave you a blowjob everytime you fill your tank.
Thanks Iraq.

Posted in:Mila Kunis

2008

18

Apr

Mila Kunis Does GQ Photoshoot of the Day

Since I’ve been doing this a long time, I kind of understand the cycle that celebrities go through when they are promoting movies because they all go to the same route and all have the same worthless publicist who uses the same fuckin’ contacts to get the same kind of exposure as all the other girls. They all do the same daytime TV shows, late night TV shows, magazines and GQ is one of them and this is Mila Kunis’ shoot.

It’s like a bitch is pretty much non-exitant for years then all of sudden she’s everywhere, people are writing about her, people are talking about her, all because of her stupid movie when they should be giving her dirty looks for being the girl who fuck’s that kid from Home Alone, because whenever I tell people how I wanna bang the girl from Parent Trap they all give me dirty look….Life is unfair more proof of that is how much this photoshoot sucks. If I did GQ, I’d make sure they sprawl me out in a skimpy bikini on a bear fur rug, but only because fat guys in bikinis always gets a cheap laugh and at this point I am willing to do pretty much anything to make someone laugh…

Posted in:GQ|Mila Kunis|Photoshoot

2008

16

Apr

Mila Kunis Did TRL of the Day

I like this Mila Kunis slut who isn’t really a slut considering she’s been slamming the same dude for many years, but who I can assume is a slut by association because Culkin doesn’t do much and looks like he’s into coke-raged experimental shit in the bedroom because guys with money who don’t do much tend to fuck a lot, and since my only reference point for Culkin today is that movie Party Monster where he plays a weird homo club promoter murderer named Michael Alig, a movie that influenced all these loser hipsters to bring back stupid costumes to the dance floors. My other reference point for Culkin was a 10 year old boy who spent a lot of time with Michael Jackson and since everyone assumes MJ is some child rapist and 80% of the gay dudes I know were victims of molestation by older men when they were kids, it would only make sense that Culkin revisits men every once in a while when he’s in the mood to feel young again making Kunis at risk for HIV like all girls who date bisexuals.

The truth is that I am convinced Michael Jackson doesn’t molest kids, I am convinced he’s had his penis amputated to keep his high pitch singing and that lack of testosterone means no sex drive and his love for Peter Pan is something he can only share with young kids and we all like to relate to someone sometimes…..

Either way, Kunis was on TRL and I want to bang her.

Posted in:Mila Kunis|TRL

2008

09

Apr

Mila Kunis is a Jew I’d Like to Fuck of the Day

The Jewish girls I come across look more like a muppet than anything I’d want to fuck. You know with their big noses and droopy eyes, something so wonky lookin’ that you’d expect it them to have a hand jacked up their asses making them whine about everything they can think of on their way to get get their nails and hair done in daddy’s Lexus SUV because daddy doesn’t buy German cars after what the German’s did to his people or some shit. I just always blamed the facial disorder on the incest the strength of the culture is based on. It was also the reason I had for their asthma, allergies, bad eyesight and money making ability. So when I see Mila Kunis knowing she’s Jew I get thrown off in a good way. Maybe I shouldn’t be so quick to judge their people because there’s always going to be an exception to the rule and maybe I should be more accepting as a person but the truth is I am pretty accepting and just cuz a bitch looks like a muppet never stopped me from letting them show off their blow job skills they learnt in camp on me. I actually encourage rich girls whose parents want them to marry into their religion to use me as a form of rebellion against the family but that’s just because when a bitch thinks she’s being naughty, it usually comes through in the way she fucks, so Muppet-faced or not, I am usually always down for a good time.

Unfortunately, Mila Kunis has some sick Home Alone 1 through 3 fantasy that’s lead her to end up with Macaulay Culkin. She’s been with him for 8 years or some shit and seems like she is under his child star spell, so that just leaves me with jerking off to her voice on Family Guy or reruns of That 70s Show, now all I need to make that happen is a TV. I guess it’s good to have dreams.

In case you didn’t know, Complex featured me in their magazine too. I guess that may make their editorial team questionable, but I think it makes them my friend so click the link and show them some love, because they showed me love and that’s gotta count for something.

To See The Article and Rest of the Pictures
GO

Posted in:Complex|Jew|Mila Kunis

2007

08

Jun

I am – Mila Kunis Wears Short Shorts of the Day

mila_kunis_shorts8.jpg

So I ended up going out to the Steve Aoki show because I thought it would be funny. I thought there would be lots of sluts and I figured that if someone you write a post about saying they bang their sister ends up hookin’ you up to go to their event, you gotta take the opportunity to see if they will have a baseball bat in hand to take your face off.

I got to the club, they didn’t want to let me in, they told me that I wasn’t on the list and that I didn’t meet dress code standards. I somehow swindled my way into the club promising the bouncers I wouldn’t leave the DJ Booth area and mingle with their clients….

I walked up to Aoki, some groupie with fake tits was talking to him, shook his hand, knocked her drink out of her hand and she spilled it all over herself and tried to tell me off. He was very nice about things and I ended up having a good time drinking off the club’s bottle of Grey Goose and lookin’ up girls skirts. So the advice of the day is try to offend people enough so they know who you are, then ask them for free shit.

Here are some pictures of Mila Kunis because she was on that 70s Show and Aoki’s DJ partner is on that 70s show and she’s wearing short shorts….

I am running off 2 hours of sleep – I’ll be back on later today with more hits.

Posted in:Ass|Legs|Mila Kunis|Shorts|Unsorted