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Archive for the Mischa Barton Category

2010

09

Jul

Mischa Barton is Drunk or High of the Day

Mischa Barton is looking like a fucking mess. She’s either drunk, medicated or both and she looks like fucking shit, unless of course you find Boy George hot, cuz that’s what she fucking looks like….

Either way she’s with some Euro lookin’ dude who must be gay cuz he looks way too fucking excited to be dancing with Mischa Barton…he’s the kind of guy who goes nuts over anyone he has seen on TV on any level…from seeing the local news anchor in Starbucks to meeting the host of an appliance warehouse sale commercial when buying a dryer to the getting off on a dude he original saw in a mug shot for some gay brothel bust…because glitz and glam is something he likes to attach himself to….even if the glitz and glam smells and looks like death…especially when paparazzi are there to make him feel important…

Pics via Fame

Posted in:Mischa Barton

2010

30

Jun

Mischa Barton’s Hot Enough for Me of the Day

I think the fall of Mischa Barton happened years ago when she stupidly wore shorts out and everyone saw her sloppy, cellulite ridden legs, despite being a relatively skinny girl. Everyone laughed and pointed and didn’t really let the fact that it was a hereditary deformity that comes with hormonal imbalances, diet and a variety of other things she couldn’t really control, leading to getting no work, hard drinking and drug use and now this….which isn’t all that bad, or as bad as people are making it out to be, because when girls look like this, it usually means they’ll fuck you, whether it’s for money, for food, or just because they are crazy and have no idea what the fuck is going on, and that’s always a good thing, except maybe if it comes with HIV, which it usually does…

That said, it is safe to say that Mischa Barton is going to die…so jerk off to her while you can, because if you’ve learned anything from Michael Jackson’s death, it gets weird after a while knowing he’s dead…who am I kidding…no it doesn’t….

Pics via Fame

Posted in:Mischa Barton

2010

21

May

Mischa Barton is Scary as Fuck of the Day

Mischa Barton is a fucking wreck. Maybe this is the aftermath of being the second line pussy on some teen TV show that made getting more work impossible after the series fell apart. But I like to think it has to do with being eaten up by the media, leading to her drinking and popping pills to feel good about herself, eventually giving up on showering and caring about herself, leaving her a fat sloppy mess I’m just wating to see overdose, cuz it’s time for another Hollywood suicide…..and looking at her freaky fucking face in a wedding dress is scarier than her breakout role as the dead girl under the bed in the Sixth Sense you all wanted to fuck cuz she was at her hottest, perverts….I feel like we don’t need to do the Deathwatch anymore, she’s already dead on the inside, sure her heart is pumping but there’s no fucking soul behind these glassed over eyes, like a brain dead vegetable in the hospital and I say it is time to pull the fucking plug…..but on the positive side, she’s got pretty rockin’ tits in this wedding dress she’s modeling, reminding me that now is a good time to move in on her because she’s desperate, cuz she’s probably better to fuck than the old ladies I tried to recruit at the old folks home into putting me into her will, and I can only hope there’s at least one opportunist working his way into securing this Mischa Barton as his prime zombie bride, cuz girls who drug up themselves to make bad decisions are better than girls you have to drug to make bad decsions, because you can’t get arrested for the shit…..

Pics via PacificCoastNews

Posted in:cleavage|Mischa Barton|Scary

2010

22

Apr

Mischa Barton’s Fat Ass Tries to Unlock her Car of the Day

I am a firm believer of kicking bitches when they are down, especailly when they’ve been treated too well in life up until now….and Mischa Barton is clearly really fucking down….and no one has told her emotionally eating won’t get her out of it…but maybe enough hard drugs she’s clearly been dabbling in will…so here’s the pig trying to unlock her car door but she’s having issues cuz pigs don’t know how to unlock car doors cuz they’re too busy rolling around in their own filth being pigs…

Pics via PacificCoastNews

Posted in:Ass|Fat|Mischa Barton

2010

30

Mar

Mischa Barton is a Bloated Pig of the Day

I watched the OC back when every college girl watched the OC and I needed to know what was going on to fit in at every college party I would go to because they had the cheapeat drinks and the best, drunkest, slutty girls….the most common drunken conversation was whether Mischa Barton or Rachel Bilson were hotter, I know, I can’t believe I would have such pathetic virginal conversations, but they did land me some serious playtime with young pussy and it was worth it. Either way, girls would always say how Mischa Barton was the hot one and I just didn’t get it cuz she always looked like she does in these pictures to me. I always new she was a bloated sloppy pig of a woman just waiting until the show was off the air to let herself go and I was right….

I don’t know what’s going on with this girl, but I know it’s nothing good, but maybe gutter pig women on the verge of death are your thing, because they are usually too unstable and weak to say no to anal, but what the fuck do I know.

Pics via PacificCoastNews

Posted in:Bloated|Dying|Mischa Barton

2010

23

Mar

Mischa Barton and Her Cellulite in Shorts of the Day

All girls have cellulite, even skinny girls have cellulite, it’s got something to do with their uterus and the way it makes babies, hell, I probably have cellulite…you know it happens when you’re fat as fuck, even when you’re a dude…so cellulite is really not a big deal or something to point out and laugh at, but for some reason, when it’s on Mischa Barton, who is already at the end of her fucking road and a sloppy mess who always had sloppy fucking legs, I find it pretty entertaining….it’s like bitch doesn’t give a fuck and still wears shorts and I’m not sure if that’s a sign of her not giving a fuck about what others thinkand embracing herself, of it it’s a sign of her just not giving a fuck cuz she’s given the fuck up…

I never found her hot, it was all downhill from the kid puking on herself in the Sixth Sense, but maybe you did, so here are some pics to remind you that you shouldn’t….

Pics via PacificCoastNews

Posted in:Cellulite|Legs|Mischa Barton

2010

16

Mar

Mischa Barton Still isn’t Dead of the Day

I guess it’s only fitting that a dying Mischa Barton would be at a make a wish foundation and not because kids are wishing to see her but because she’s wishing to get relevant work before she dies of a drug overdose or whatever the fuck it is she’s into that makes her look like serious fucking shit….and here are the pictures because I guess we should all take her in before she Corey Haims / Brittany Murpheys herself cuz sometimes celebrity life just gets you self destructive….

On a side note, I figure it’s worth mentioning that her ex-boyfriend seems to be doing fine without her – even though the fact he gets any pussy always amazes me – because here he is with his groupie pussy and her hot cleavage – I guess that’s what happens when you make teenage girl accessible music with the whitest most non-threatening suburban black guy around….and in all honesty Cisco Adler doesn’t irritate me at all – even though most people do….

Pics via Fame

Posted in:Cisco Adler|Mischa Barton

2010

18

Feb

Mischa Barton Making Herself Look Alive of the Day

One of the bigger jokes that happened in Hollywood in the last 24 hours are these pictures of Mischa Barton trying to get herself made up, done up, cleaned up in this makeover.

You see the last few months she’s been drinking hard, rockin’ a cocaine bloated face, she hasn’t been showering and I put her on the death watch, mainly because she looked like she was one night into a fatal overdose…like a fat swollen corpse but I guess she’s decided to step things up, shower and get her hair and make-up done, to show us that she’s not going to give up fully just yet, she’s gonna have at least one more night of beauty and glamor, where everyone notices her new clean hair and big fat tits, but I figure this look lasted a solid 20 minutes before she started sweating, jonesing leading to ripping lines in the taxi to get her fix….

One of the bigges jokes that’s happened in my life in the last 24 hours is that this is my fucking life…..

Pics via Bauer

Posted in:Made-Up|Mischa Barton|Tits

2010

05

Feb

Mischa Barton is Gonna Die Soon of the Day

I’ve put Mischa Barton on Death Watch and the whole thing is very exciting to me. Call me a psycho if you want, but the reality is that I get excited when these celebrities die. I don’t have any on impact on their ultimate self-destruction, I’m irrelevant in their lives, so I don’t feel guilty about how they spend all their bullshit TV or Movie money on drugs, alcohol and in Mischa Barton’s case – baked goods, until eventually their bodies give out on them. See there are people out there who actually kill themselves cuz they have actual problems, cuz they actually hate themselves or can’t live with the shitty hand they’ve been dealt, but celebrities are a fucking joke, they have it all….money, easy access to nightclubs, free clothes and drinks and they don’t need to work. They can travel the world, live large and have a good fucking time, but instead do this, and it make me laugh.

So when Mischa Barton dies, you can expect a tribute here in the form of laughter, and in the meantime we can all watch the demise…

Pics via Fame

Posted in:death|Mischa Barton

2010

22

Jan

Mischa Barton…Lookin’ Good Sweetheart of the Day

I don’t really know what’s going on here. We’ve established bitch has given up on life without actually giving up on life and further proof wasn’t really needed to demonstrate how hurting she actually is but I just couldn’t help myself…I guess this is like a goodbye to all the masturbation material she has provided over the years, even though the only scene worth masturbating to over the years was the under the bed as the dead, puke covered girl who fucked with her dad enough to piss off her mom in the Sixth Sense….

Pics via Bauer

Posted in:Lookin' Good Sweetheart|Mischa Barton|No Makeup|Scary

2010

19

Jan

Mischa Barton’s Tits in Some Movie of the Day

I am willing to give Mischa Barton a little more attention, because despite how fat she’s got the last little while and how shitty her career has gone, I still think she’s got some solid bottom feeding roles ahead of her before she fully gives up, or dies of an overdose and all those roles involve her naked, fucking, using her pussy like a sock puppet, or really just showing off her pussy, cuz I watched the OC and I’m down with seeing her 5 years later, lookin’ 15 years older and substantially more desperate to make money to feed her lifestyle she’s hooked into, hoping maybe getting naked will get her an Oscar, like she was Hilary Swank in Boys Don’t Cry, without realizing she’s cast in American Pie 48 – The Search for Mischa Barton’s Pussy Lip….

Either way, here she is topless in some movie called Assination of a High School President, that I’ve never heard of, but is out on DVD somewhere…


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Posted in:Mischa Barton|Tits

2010

15

Jan

Mischa Barton Looks Like a Weathered Whore of the Day

Seriously, I feel like I just threw 5 dollars at this bitch after she jerked me off in a bus shelter, but that couldn’t have been Mischa Barton, Mischa Barton probably still has all her fucking teeth, you know with that whole being a celebrity act she does, and she’s not quite a woman of the gutter yet, but she looks really fucking bad, like her pussy smells and looks like a dying rodents…because it probably does….since this pictures scream that hygiene isn’t really her thing…I guess she’s just practicing for her future career as a crackwhore, I mean if she lives long enough to make it and that makes these pics highly erotic….

Pics via PacificCoastNews

Posted in:Mischa Barton|Whore

2009

01

Sep

Mischa Barton is Next on the Celebrity Death Watch of the Day

I used to do the Lohan deathwatch before becoming best friends with Lohan and realizing that she’s not going to die anytime soon, so I stopped the shit. So the last 6 months of having no Celebrity Death Watch, except for maybe the occassional Patrick Swayze post cuz I actually know he’s gonna die and that’s way less exciting that Kurt Cobain style surprises that devastate a nation, but the last few weeks I’ve been noticing Mischa Barton getting greyer and greyer lookin, unshowered and disgusting lookin, ready to throw in the towel on the game of life and ready to see if there really is a God and if that God will cast her in one of his stage shows in the sky, which he probably won’t but he’ll probably let her be a real actresses assistant or some shit.

Either way, Mischa Barton is the start of Drunkenstepfather.com’s celebrity death watch and now we just have to wait for her acceptance speech for this glorious honor that I doubt will ever come, because even though I’m alive, this site might as well be dead….it just lays here and does nothing while I just get weirder and weirder….

Posted in:Celebrity Death Watch|Mischa Barton

2009

31

Aug

Mischa Barton and her Self Destructive Legs of the Day

I met an ex self destructive dude in the woods where I was drinking alone and trying to medidate, you know plan my future, think of what is coming next, plot my escape from the Internet and decide where to escape to, and this asshole rained on my fuckin’ day dreamin’ parade.

He thought I cared about his medical history that he was volunteering, from his drug addiction to hepatitis, to cancer, to a blood infection that made him crazy to his weighloss and walmart shorts before preaching about depression and abuse and how he is a fuckin’ hero in his therapists eyes for breaking free from addiction and having this positive new outlook on life. He preached and preached and fuckin’ went on about how I shouldn’t be drinking, how I shouldn’t be doin’ pill and how a life without the shit is amazing, so amazing that all he fucking talked about was fuckin’ using and dealing with the diseases using gave him, that would be far less of a pain to deal with if he was still using cuz he’d be too high to fuckin’ notice. Either way, I offered him a beer and that was the end of the sobriety talk because he was too busy getting wasted for the first time in 6 months thanks to me.
I wonder what a fall from the top feels like since I’ve always been in the gutter, I hope Mischa writes a memoir before she dies of an overdose cuz I’d love to read about how one day she realized she wasn’t the pretty girl everyone made a big deal about….

I like to think I help people too and here are some pics of Mischa Barton and her drug and alcohol abusing legs.

PICS VIA PacificCoastNews

Posted in:Legs|Mischa Barton

2009

18

Aug

I See Dead People / Mischa Barton of the Day

Lookin’ Good Sweetheart. I shouldn’t be hating on these pictures of Mischa Barton because for the longest time I’ve said she looked her best as the dead kid under the bed with stomach flu from the move Sixth Sense, and now she’s finally goin’ back to her roots, only instead of movie make-up, this shit is real fuckin’ deal unhealthiness and it is really sexy. I guess it’s the same reason I went hunting through the Emergency Room at every hospital trying to find people with Swine Flu or terminal illness to be there last lover like I’m the fuckin’ make a wish foundation, or how my friend applied for a job at the morgue to wash dead people, because of all the pussy he figured he’d getto see that wouldn’t say no, only she’s not dead yet, just going through a bit of a rough patch that may leave her dead while lookin’ like death and the whole thing is far too gothic for me, bitch needs to invest in some blush, or a spray tan, maybe even a vacation cuz this is almost to the point of scary.

Posted in:death|Mischa Barton