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Archive for the Mischa Barton Category

2008

31

Jul

Mischa Barton’s Publicity Stunt of the Day


In case you didn’t know, Mischa Barton was dropped by her agent because she’s a sloppy, lazy bitch and now they have her out on a boring, lazy publicity stunt in her bikini. The only good thing about these staged bikini shots is that they can photoshop her cellulite ridden body to look a little tighter and a little smoother, now all they have to do is photoshop her boyfriend into a heterosexual. Sure, he’s pretty much raping her in these pictures but I can sense the disgust in his eyes….he’s actually asking himself if his career is really worth the trouble of having to taste this whore.

Posted in:Mischa Barton|Publicity

2008

25

Jul

Mischa Barton is Sloppy in her Knitted Bathing Suit of the Day

So Mischa Barton got dropped by her agent this past week because she’s a has been who hasn’t landed work since the OC. Her Publicist, who doesn’t want to lose her as a client decides they need to draw some positive attention to this bitch and calls the paparazzi and “tips” them off about where Mischa and her Boyfriend are going to be frolicking around in a bathing suit, because they feel like that genius strategy is going to work like it did in the past. They obviously don’t realize that just because bikini pictures are a tried and tested method to get some exposre, it doesn’t mean the shit is hot or anyone will care to look at them, especially when the subject of the pictures is a sloppy bodied, pothead of a celebrity that has seen more cellulite than Roseanne’s underwear in the fat years.

I feel like the lack of creativity on her publicist’s side of things in getting her some buzz and hopefully lead to some work just shows lazyness that is pretty much on par with both Mischa Barton’s body and is about as successful in execution as her barely there career and I feel violated because I know they are trying to trick all of us!

I guess the real victim in all this is her boyfriend because he probably originally thought he won the lottery when he started dating her, like that Mischa Barton is a celebrity and having her as a girlfriend will really benefit him amazingly, but instead of the lottery he got a real shitty deal and now he’s stuck, that’s why you always gotta do your research before you jump into things. I bet he struggles with the memories of pretending to love, fuck and kiss a girl who feels like a fleshy pillow and that’s enough to make a man go pretty fuckin’ gay pretty fuckin’ fast….poor fucker…

Here are the pics…

Posted in:Mischa Barton|Sloppy

2008

18

Jul

Mischa Barton Does Nylon Magazine of the Day

Nylon is some piece of shit, too cool for school magazine, that is supposed to be on the pulse of the art, music and fashion scene and pretty much fuels the hipsters, indy rockers and electro DJs i hate by telling them what’s cool and what they should be into for the moment in their quest of trying to be cool.
It’s these pretentious elitist club of rich kids and actors who have no idea what’s up but are trying to live this bullshit fashionista lifestyle because they are empty and I have a feeling that Mischa Barton is probably friends with one of the editors or some shit and agreed to do a photoshoot because she really isn’t doing much more with herself and because it gives her that stamp of approval cuz she thinks being in the Nylon club means that she’s cool.
I think the whole thing is a waste of fucking energy and people should be worried about more important things in life. Trying to stay on top of things so that you come across as cooler than fuckin’ God is totally the opposite of being cool, because as far as I am concerned being cool means not giving a fuck about pretty much anything and naked chicks.
That said, I guess that means that Mischa Barton is halfway cool, so that means she’s on her way to being cool, but doesn’t mean she made the cut. Keep on tryin’, you sloppy fucking whore.

Posted in:Mischa Barton|Nylon|Topless

2008

12

Jun

Mischa Barton’s Got a See Through Shirt of the Day

Mischa Barton’s sloppy legs have decided to take her body out for a walk and she’s wearing some American Apparel lookin’ sheer thin t-shirt with no bra, which is a good fucking strategy to distract us all from her legs. I never really had an issue with small tits, I figure as long as a bitch has nipples (sorry cancer survivors), she’s good to go, sure sometimes a bitch can be flatter than a teenage boy, but as long as there’s a pussy I am oay with it. The only problem that comes up is her jealousy and feelings of inadequacy compared to my spectacularly disgusting fat man tits.

I like to look at myself as the gateway to lesbianism, sure I claim to have a penis but it’s barely there and my tits, despite being disgusting are a solid b-cup, so I feel like there’s little difference between me and a fat hairy chick and for girls who are too scared of the social implications of rubbing cunt with their girlfriends, I make for a good time, and by good time I mean the personality behind the androgyny can make any girl turn off men. I think of it as a talent to help people come to terms with their sexuality and to overcome their fear, kinda like the snakes they throw into the tub to cure people of their fear of snakes, only without anything remotely comparable to a snake. I figure that analogy sucked, but you get what I’m sayin.

Posted in:Mischa Barton|See Through

2008

05

May

Mischa Barton’s Got a Whole Lot of Cellulite of the Day

I am on a 3 day hangover and these pictures of Mischa Barton’s disgusting legs and ass aren’t really helping me get over it. The truth is that I am good friend of cellulite because every girl I’ve banged has had some. It’s kinda what you sign-up for when you have no standards and fuck fat chicks, whether obese or just bottom heavy they always seem to be packing enough pounds to be cottage cheesy, so hating on cellulite would pretty much equate to hating chicks, and I’m not homo here.

What I do think is that Mischa is too skinny and young to have this going on. She’s some kind of slim fat, and the second you get her naked she looks like he’s been horribly burnt in some childhood fire and they just couldn’t get the skin graft done proper so the rest of her life her ass and legs will just be damaged skin just hanging off her like a bad fitting pair of pants, because it’s really the only thing that would make sense of this mess in her pants.

Posted in:Cellulite|Mischa Barton

2008

24

Apr

Mischa Barton’s Shitty Sex Scene of the Day

So Mischa Barton is trying to revitalize her career after being a drunken useless whore with fat thighs who was the worst actor on the show the OC which says a lot about how bad she is at acting considering the show was the equivalent of a Soap Opera in quality and Soap Operas remind me of some shitty college student video project or porn without the fucking. The movie is called Closing the Ring and I don’t know when it hit theaters or if it hit theaters but I do know that Mischa got topless in it and I’ve got the clip of her in action.

The one thing I hate about sex scenes in movies is that they aren’t realistic, sex is supposed to be dirty and sloppy and awkward, it’s never thei gay romantic shit where you gaze into your lovers eyes and tell them how much they mean to you while you spend 15 minutes kissing her in a loose fitting top that gives the audience a glimpse of her breast before dude has his way with her in positions that just aren’t real. I’ve always said that if I ever right a movie, the sex will be real, there will be penetration, none of this high school grinding shit that gets girls horny and makes guys feel like they can never deliver the goods proper because they aren’t gay actors and actually want to stick our dick’s inside.

I guess all that matters is that Hollywood sex scenes do it for you because you finally get to see some starlet you like in compromising positions and you probably don’t care about how fuckin’ bullshit the whole scenario is, because you just want to get tits and you don’t let things like Soap Opera caliber performances upset you. Unfortunately, I do and I hate Mischa Barton more than I did 5 minutes ago.

Posted in:Mischa Barton|Sex Scene|Topless

2008

10

Apr

Mischa Barton Bikini Pictures of the Day

I was trying to start up a paparazzi agency this morning and realized that I could never pull it off. I’ve been to LA before and when there I never ran into any celebrities on the street and I didn’t see any paparazzi, nipple slips, upskirts or bikini pictures either. I figure that the only way these fuckers land pictures of the celebrity is because they are hired by the celebrity take them and since I am pretty much a nobody, there’s no way I’ll be getting calls from publicists to show up at celebrity backyards with photo equipment that I use to make look like I was hiding in the hedge to snap off the pics of them smoking in their bikinis or cuddling up to another celebrity in some staged bullshit that they want to make look as real as possible so that people start talking about them in a positive light again.

I could be wrong but that’s the only explanation I have for Mischa’s dumpy body lookin’ a whole lot less dumpy and her chillin’ on the beach in a bikini that was just happened to be caught by a photographer looks more posed than my family portrait we got done at Sears in 1995 and that hangs proudly over the hole in the wall that would have been a fireplace if my shitty apartment wasn’t a crack den.

Get a bitch in a bikini and it’ll make us all forget about her negative press because we are fuckin’ cavemen and the smell of a half naked bitch makes us forget how fuckin’ useless she is.

To prove my point that this shit’s been lit, photoshopped and taken at a better than good angle, I’m talking miracle angle that I need to have any pictures of me taken from to make me look less like a homeless person who’s been dumpster diving outside McDonald’s the last 15 years for 18 hours a day scraping up the equivalet of 30 Big Macs a day and more like some good lookin’ male model that I feel I am on the inside, look at these pics of her fat fuckin’ ass and cellulite from the other day

Posted in:Bikini|Mischa Barton

2008

11

Mar

Mischa Barton’s Sloppy Tit Shopping of the Day

Here are some pictures of criminal Mischa Barton out shopping with her dog. I guess the irony in this picture is that Mischa is the fucking dog and the dog is actually cute. Not that I know what irony is, but I assume it’s that.

She’s a sloppy mess who was at her hottest while playing a dead puking girl in the Sixth Sense that Haley Joel Osmond jerked off on and ever since then it’s all gone down hill for her, but I know some of you freaks like that smell, so here’s her tit busting out of her top.

This post may be shitty, but so am I. I don’t understand how fucking virginal the internet is for getting excited about seeing a bitch’s tit from the side. They’ve even go as far to call it Sideboob, like the fuckin’ thing’s got a name, and if that doesn’t scream, I’ve never felt tits in my life, I guess it screams I’ve also never watched porn, because I am so fucking desensitized from porn, that the only thing that turns me on is watching the fuckin’ news, or maybe sometimes when I see a dudes get shit on by a juggling midget, but that’s only because I want to hate fuck Hayden Panettiere.

Maybe I am weird, but I am also hungover, I just woke up and the last thing I want to be doing is writing about some useless bitch’s tits. So fuck yourself. I love you. I am bi-polar like that.

Posted in:Mischa Barton|Tit

2007

07

Aug

I am – Mischa Barton Space Dress of the Day

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I’m pretty exhausted and don’t feel like writing today to be honest. There’s not many bikini Pics floating around today, and it’s hard to be inspired by pictures of washed up actresses from the OC.

I’ve never been to California, but one of my rich friends parents are going in a few weeks and offered to take me along. I finally got my passport , in the hopes that I would meet a rich, rich man who take me away from my bullshit life, but it looks like I get to go with some other kids mom, dad and their family. Not quite what I had in mind, but you’re fucking poor and never et to go anywhere or see anything you will pretty much take a trip where you can get it.

Also, my hope of meeting a rich man will probably quadruple my chances, since more of the older men in Montreal are fat, ugly and on unemployment.


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Posted in:Mischa Barton|Unsorted

2007

18

May

I am – Mischa Barton Tit Slip of the Day

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So someone emailed these pictures of Mischa Barton’s tit falling out of her dress and I figured it would be worth posting, not because I think it’s hot, but because this site is all about changing the world one nipple slip at the time and it’s been a long time since I’ve seen a celebrity slip as good as this one, not because I think Mischa’s tit is good but because if you’re going to show the world your tit, this is how you do it.

I don’t really know why I bother with the site, I find the whole concept of posting celebrity chicks really fucking lame, I’d love to do something more substantial so that people call me a revolutionary or some shit, but I don’t think that will ever happen, what will happen is that every girl who comes to the site will think I am a virgin who’s never seen a vagina in real life or some kind of fag who is obsessed with Britney Spears and celebrity gossip, I will never reach out to the cool kids or the hot chicks. I want to make this shit rock and roll, but I think I am stuck in the popstar trap…

That said, I kinda feel bad for this girl. She never really got her shit together after her hottest role as the girls who was throwing up under the bed in The Sixth Sense for Haley Joel Osmond…it’s all been downhill since.

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Posted in:Mischa Barton|Nipple Slip|Tit|Unsorted

2007

08

May

I am – Celebrities Showing Off Their Tits at the Metropolitan Museum of Art Gala of the Day

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I am all for girls rocking cleavage shirts because I am a pervert and this site has given me a keen eye for spotting nipple slips. I was standing outside a bar, hoping a drunk guy who came out for a cigarette and accidentally drop his wallet the other day, and a group of hot chicks walked out with low cut shirts on, I guess it’s in style to show off your rack and I am not really complaining. One of them conveniently dropped something and when she went to pick it up her shirt dropped and I saw full fucking massive tit, while the other guys next to me missed it. It reminded me of when I was 12 and my foster mother used to come give me talks about God before I went to bed. She’d be in her night gown while I’d be lying in bed. She’d bend over to tuck me in, full tit exposed and I’d totally get a boner and jerk off to it the second she walked out. I always got scared that God was watching me, then I realized that if he was, he was a total pedophile and I might as well give him a good performance, because let’s face it, if I get him to get off when I was 12 only good things would be coming to me….I was wrong…

I am guessing that these celebrities are thinking the same thing, they are advertising their tits at some exclusive black tie event I wasn’t invited to, so that people like us fall into their booby trap…get it..I am so witty and that is good enough for you to start your day to….you’re welcome…


Jessica Simpson May Be Busted But Her Tits are Fucking Huge


Lohan May Be Distracting Us From Her Cocaine Video, But At Least She’s Doing it Properly, this shit will even get Disney to Sign Her Again


Salma Hayek is Pregnant and Full of Milk and That’s Pretty Much What I Wish All My Diet Consisted Of…


Jennifer Garner is Post-Pregancy and Her Tits Have Dried Up, But I’d Still Try To Get the Last Drops Out of Her


Rose McGowan has Always Had Hot Tits


Christina Ricci May Look Old and Beat Up and Her Tits May Have Been Reduced But She’s Still Packin’ Heat.


Scarlett Johannson Still Has Tits and I am Still Lookin’ At Them


Julianne Moore is the First Fire Crotch I Ever Saw in a Movie and Will Always Hold a Warm Place in My Heart for Proving that Myth Isn’t a Myth….


Rosario Dawson’s Tits Look Small But Small Titis are Tits Too…


Juliette Lewis is a Crackhead and Crackheads Don’t Have Tits, But She’s Still Trying…


I Don’t Really Give a Fuck About Mischa Barton But Whatever This is Still Cleavage…


Alicia Keys Has a Hairy Chest, So I Don’t Know If She Counts, But Even Men With Tits Count in Your World, Cuz You Are Desperate…

A few new ones…

I think Ivanka Trump Looks Awesome….I’d wallet-fuck her…


Karolina Kurkova Models Bikinis and I like Bikinis, Especially when they are on me, I feel so pretty…


Gisele isn’t with Victoria’s Secret Anymore, She’s Not a Hot as She Used To Be, But She Has Done A Lot in Her Panties and That Pretty Much Redeems Her….

Posted in:Alicia Keys|Christina Ricci|cleavage|Gisele Bundchen|Ivanka Trump|Jennifer Garner|Jessica Simpson|Julianne Moore|Juliette Lewis|Karolina Kurkova|Lindsay Lohan|Mischa Barton|Rosario Dawson|Rose McGowan|Salma Hayek|Scarlett Johansson|Uncategorized|Unsorted

2007

06

Apr

I am – Mischa Barton's Dumpy Ass and Legs of the Day

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If Mischa Barton hit the gym and maybe rocked the “ass blaster” machine that fags at the gym I used to work with seemed to love, for obvious reasons, I think she could almost be hot. Her problem is that she was always skinny growing up, she could always eat whatever the fuck she wanted and she never had to jog. In highschool, everyone was so impressed by her and jealous of how she was a size 2, while they were a little more chubs until they joined the gym to look like Mishca, all while Mischa kept riding through life, with the illusion that she was hot and slim….

The one day, she turns 25 and looks down at her seemingly skinny legs, only to see the flesh flapping in the wind and her dumpy ass slowly becomes a mound of cellulite you could fit a fist into at the top of her thigh….

These pics were almost hot, I was almost feelin’ her for the first time since she was under the bed puking in The Sixth Sense, at least she’s picking her shorts out of her ass to make them worth posting.

Posted in:Mischa Barton|Unsorted

2007

06

Apr

I am – Mischa Barton’s Dumpy Ass and Legs of the Day

mischa_barton_top.jpg

If Mischa Barton hit the gym and maybe rocked the “ass blaster” machine that fags at the gym I used to work with seemed to love, for obvious reasons, I think she could almost be hot. Her problem is that she was always skinny growing up, she could always eat whatever the fuck she wanted and she never had to jog. In highschool, everyone was so impressed by her and jealous of how she was a size 2, while they were a little more chubs until they joined the gym to look like Mishca, all while Mischa kept riding through life, with the illusion that she was hot and slim….

The one day, she turns 25 and looks down at her seemingly skinny legs, only to see the flesh flapping in the wind and her dumpy ass slowly becomes a mound of cellulite you could fit a fist into at the top of her thigh….

These pics were almost hot, I was almost feelin’ her for the first time since she was under the bed puking in The Sixth Sense, at least she’s picking her shorts out of her ass to make them worth posting.

Posted in:Mischa Barton|Unsorted

2007

13

Mar

I am – Mischa Barton's Hot Legs of the Day

mischa_barton_legs.jpg

I was out downtown begging for change earlier today, since the site was down I figured I needed something to do with my time and makin’ money was the idea…Sometimes I like to lie to the wife and show up with an Extra Large pizza that I buy with my own money and eat in front of her. Seeing her drooling and begging and whining for a slice of pizza is as entertaining as watching a crack fiend begging for thier next hit, which is pretty fucking entertaining, if you have no compassion, which I don’t. I always end up giving her the slice I “accidentally” drop on the floor because bitch usually pounces on it before I get a chance to pick it up. So I guess I am not that cold-hearted after all.

The point of this post was to say that although homeless people look at me like I am one of them, I beg for change the smart way. I stand near a pay phone with a broken cellular in hand asking people passing by if they have a quarter because I need to call my daughter and tell her I can’t pick her up and my cell phone crapped out on me. I’d say 6 out of 10 people always pull through and if I do it properly I can make about 50 dollars a day. Now you know my secret.

Speaking of secrets, Mischa Barton isn’t actually thin, she’s a fat bitch stretched out to look skinny, until you get her naked and her cellulite ridden legs swallow your dick…

Posted in:Mischa Barton|Unsorted

2007

13

Mar

I am – Mischa Barton’s Hot Legs of the Day

mischa_barton_legs.jpg

I was out downtown begging for change earlier today, since the site was down I figured I needed something to do with my time and makin’ money was the idea…Sometimes I like to lie to the wife and show up with an Extra Large pizza that I buy with my own money and eat in front of her. Seeing her drooling and begging and whining for a slice of pizza is as entertaining as watching a crack fiend begging for thier next hit, which is pretty fucking entertaining, if you have no compassion, which I don’t. I always end up giving her the slice I “accidentally” drop on the floor because bitch usually pounces on it before I get a chance to pick it up. So I guess I am not that cold-hearted after all.

The point of this post was to say that although homeless people look at me like I am one of them, I beg for change the smart way. I stand near a pay phone with a broken cellular in hand asking people passing by if they have a quarter because I need to call my daughter and tell her I can’t pick her up and my cell phone crapped out on me. I’d say 6 out of 10 people always pull through and if I do it properly I can make about 50 dollars a day. Now you know my secret.

Speaking of secrets, Mischa Barton isn’t actually thin, she’s a fat bitch stretched out to look skinny, until you get her naked and her cellulite ridden legs swallow your dick…

Posted in:Mischa Barton|Unsorted