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Archive for the Mischa Barton Category

2009

01

Sep

Mischa Barton is Next on the Celebrity Death Watch of the Day

I used to do the Lohan deathwatch before becoming best friends with Lohan and realizing that she’s not going to die anytime soon, so I stopped the shit. So the last 6 months of having no Celebrity Death Watch, except for maybe the occassional Patrick Swayze post cuz I actually know he’s gonna die and that’s way less exciting that Kurt Cobain style surprises that devastate a nation, but the last few weeks I’ve been noticing Mischa Barton getting greyer and greyer lookin, unshowered and disgusting lookin, ready to throw in the towel on the game of life and ready to see if there really is a God and if that God will cast her in one of his stage shows in the sky, which he probably won’t but he’ll probably let her be a real actresses assistant or some shit.

Either way, Mischa Barton is the start of Drunkenstepfather.com’s celebrity death watch and now we just have to wait for her acceptance speech for this glorious honor that I doubt will ever come, because even though I’m alive, this site might as well be dead….it just lays here and does nothing while I just get weirder and weirder….

Posted in:Celebrity Death Watch|Mischa Barton

2009

31

Aug

Mischa Barton and her Self Destructive Legs of the Day

I met an ex self destructive dude in the woods where I was drinking alone and trying to medidate, you know plan my future, think of what is coming next, plot my escape from the Internet and decide where to escape to, and this asshole rained on my fuckin’ day dreamin’ parade.

He thought I cared about his medical history that he was volunteering, from his drug addiction to hepatitis, to cancer, to a blood infection that made him crazy to his weighloss and walmart shorts before preaching about depression and abuse and how he is a fuckin’ hero in his therapists eyes for breaking free from addiction and having this positive new outlook on life. He preached and preached and fuckin’ went on about how I shouldn’t be drinking, how I shouldn’t be doin’ pill and how a life without the shit is amazing, so amazing that all he fucking talked about was fuckin’ using and dealing with the diseases using gave him, that would be far less of a pain to deal with if he was still using cuz he’d be too high to fuckin’ notice. Either way, I offered him a beer and that was the end of the sobriety talk because he was too busy getting wasted for the first time in 6 months thanks to me.
I wonder what a fall from the top feels like since I’ve always been in the gutter, I hope Mischa writes a memoir before she dies of an overdose cuz I’d love to read about how one day she realized she wasn’t the pretty girl everyone made a big deal about….

I like to think I help people too and here are some pics of Mischa Barton and her drug and alcohol abusing legs.

PICS VIA PacificCoastNews

Posted in:Legs|Mischa Barton

2009

18

Aug

I See Dead People / Mischa Barton of the Day

Lookin’ Good Sweetheart. I shouldn’t be hating on these pictures of Mischa Barton because for the longest time I’ve said she looked her best as the dead kid under the bed with stomach flu from the move Sixth Sense, and now she’s finally goin’ back to her roots, only instead of movie make-up, this shit is real fuckin’ deal unhealthiness and it is really sexy. I guess it’s the same reason I went hunting through the Emergency Room at every hospital trying to find people with Swine Flu or terminal illness to be there last lover like I’m the fuckin’ make a wish foundation, or how my friend applied for a job at the morgue to wash dead people, because of all the pussy he figured he’d getto see that wouldn’t say no, only she’s not dead yet, just going through a bit of a rough patch that may leave her dead while lookin’ like death and the whole thing is far too gothic for me, bitch needs to invest in some blush, or a spray tan, maybe even a vacation cuz this is almost to the point of scary.

Posted in:death|Mischa Barton

2009

26

Jun

Mischa Barton Looks Like a Gutterslut of the Day

People are making a big deal about Mischa Barton lookin’ like she may have a drug addiction or alcohol problem, cuz it looks like she’s out of control and needs to go to rehab, or she may die…wait a minute…no they aren’t. No one give a fuck about her and we’re all happy as she slowy self destructs because she peaked in The Sixth Sense and her sex appeal’s been downhill ever since….and we’re ready for her to disappear and appreciate she’s doin’ the work for us, cuz we don’t wanna go back to jail for someone so worthless…..

Posted in:Gutterslut|Mischa Barton

2009

05

May

Mischa Barton Lookin’ Great of the Day

Mischa Barton is slowly starting to look more like the kind of girl I like. All she needs to do is lose a couple of teeth. Not shower for a couple of days. Wear the same panties that she half heatedly washes in the bus station sink with handsoap, giving it the fresh scent of asshole, aids, old pussy and public washroom when it take them off with my teeth and dig in for an expensive all you can eat mean that you will remember for a lifetime when you are forced to get your tosils removed a few weeks later from the severe infection. I think I’m in love.

Posted in:Crackhead|Disgusting|Mischa Barton

2009

10

Apr

Mischa Barton Ignores Me of the Day

Mischa Barton was in Montreal. I went on a hunt for her because she wouldn’t answer my twitters and no one I knew could help me get in touch with her, so this is my post to say she’s a fucking cunt, she thinks she’s better than me because she was on some TV show, she was in some movies, she has a lot of money and guys want to fuck her sloppy asshole, giving her this ego, well we could have had something real special but she just threw it all away. Bitch.

Posted in:Mischa Barton|Useless

2009

06

Mar

Mischa Barton and Her Ugly Friend of the Day

So drug addict party girl Mischa Barton is following Tara Reid’s footsteps of being the girl who was once in movies and on TV who managed to take a liking to cocaine, drinking and traveling around the world. Only instead of going to the Ed Hardy, Girls Gone Wild, mainstream college parties, Mischa Barton, is doing the underground, electo, indy, hipster, artist, fashion, rich kid scene that’s slowly becoming mainstream as Kanye steals their music and style and American Apparel continues to open stores and Urban Outfitters continues to hire these rich kid hipsters to be in their campaigns….

I guess the drugs are good because she manages to stomach spending time with this weird lookin dude, who’s eyes are freakishly close together, motherfuckin’ cyclops shit, that looks like he’s eating his fucking face because he’s got no chin and I feel like I’m watching a fucking cartoon. Here are the pics…Nice Pants.

Here is the guy with a girl I’d like to fuck the trendy hipster bush, because brazilians are for Ed Hardy chicks, off of….

And just so you know, Mischa Barton and her ugly friends were at Sting’s 17 year old daughter’s concert. Her band is called Coco and the Ladyboys or I Blame Coco, I’m not really sure, but I do know that she looks like a dirty rich kid hipster try hard and here’s some pictures of her performing like an idiot…


Here’s some try hard to make us believe she is high and drunk and authentic despite her dad being a celebrity music…..and I kinda liked it….but I like everything about being drunk forever…
GO

Posted in:Mischa Barton|Ugly Friend

2009

04

Mar

Some Mischa Barton Stolen Party Pics of the Day

I figured I’d dig into my rich LA kid vault and pull up recent pictures of Mischa Barton partying, because they are her friends. I’m talking kids from really rich producers, owners of TV stations, record executives, who all moved to New York together after graduating high school together, to live the bohemian independent life in the Lower East side, all funded by daddy and mommy or grandpa. You know where they live in artist lofts, pretend to be artists, do drugs and party to waste time with each other, only to fly back home on weekends on their private jets to have their maids do their laundry, or to party with their friend who hasn’t made the move yet, or their cross-country lover, they have so they can ichat and be emo about. They are like hipsters only they aren’t poor, they just latch onto whatever the next big thing and ride it out motherfucker until something more interesting comes along, and I’m not hating, who really gives a fuck, at this point everyone’s got a better life than me, so I’ve come to terms with my shit, as Mischa Barton slowly sinks deeper and deeper into shit, at least when she goes broke, she’ll be able to call on them to bail her out. Good planning….


UPDATE:
The rest of the pictures are here, they got leaked 3 weeks ago and I just don’t pay much attention, good times…
GO

Posted in:Mischa Barton|Parties

2009

23

Feb

Mishca Barton is a Hipster Slut in FHM of the Day

Here’s an over glorified American Apparel model, also known as Mischa Barton, hanging onto her career as hard as she can cause her management or PR people dropped her and she needs to survive by taking off her clothes…the way I like it.

What I don’t like is this fucking hipster trash, it’s taking over the mainstream, it is everywhere I fucking look, from Lady Gaga to fucking Sharon Stone. There are so many insecure fuckers, trying to be on top of the latest fashion craze or music craze all while sucking up to each other and reassuring each other that being as annoying and outrageous as possible will help people forget that 2 years ago they were listening to Britney Spears and wearing The Gap and Juicy Couture like they were Paris Hilton, because at the time it was the cool thing to do. Fucking shapeshifting assholes.

It is all so fucking contrived, but I guess all it takes is sucking up or sucking off to be make it in the world, so get fucking cracking cause I made the mistake of telling everyone to fuck themselves and I sleep on a shit stained box spring, not a life I’d recommend for anyone.

Bonus that’s not really a bonus, DJ AM’s social climbing record carrying, unattractive whore of a girlfriend is an American Apparel Model because she’s not hot enough to be a real model and here she is leaving some exclusive party he DJed at and she got into because she’s fucking him, when otherwise she’d be drinking pitchers of beer with kids in skinny jeans and flannel shirts as they count their trust fund change to buy some blow or some shit…

Posted in:American Apparel|FHM|Hipster|Mischa Barton