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Archive for the Paris Hilton Category

2007

01

Nov

I am – Paris Hilton Dresses Like Herself for Halloween of the Day

I was going to say that these are some pictures of Paris Hilton dressed like herself, looking like she always does, but in her stupid mind, she probably thinks she’s supporting the troops or some shit, but then this video landed in my inbox and in it she says “I’m wearing this for the troops because I know they’re having a hard time right now and don’t really get to celebrate Halloween.” I think the war would be a lot more fun if the troops actually dressed like this, it’d be like watching a bad drag show where they kill each other, but I guess we’ll just have to leave it up to Paris to be the bad drag show, while living her life of luxury and real people are dying. If she really wanted to support the troops in Iraq, maybe she’d head out there and let them fuck her so that they can get sick leave, or maybe she could send each one of them 10,000 dollars to help pay for the therapy they’re all going to have to go through when it’s all over. Point of this post is that Paris is a cunt….and I know someone who booked her to host their party and she charged 30,000 dollars and an 8-Ball of coke. True Story.

Image Removed due to Papparazzi

Bonus Pictures of Her in Dancing With Sluts and Midgets in Another Costume Inside the Club Dressed as “Jail Bait” Because Irony is What Paris Does…Since She Was in Jail and Is Far From Jail Bait….Maybe 10 Years Ago…Now She’s Just Washed Up, Haggard and Has Had a Couple Hundred Too Many Dicks…

Image Removed due to Papparazzi


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Paris Hilton Does Halloween
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Paris Hilton Partying

Posted in:cleavage|Costume|Halloween|Lingerie|Paris Hilton|Unsorted

2007

29

Oct

I am – Paris Hilton Does Halloween of the Day

Image Removed due to Papparazzi

I was at some Halloween jam last night. I don’t really remember much about it because that’s what happens when I drink. I think it has something to do with the older I get the stupider I get or some shit, but that’s probably a good thing. I was actually pretty disappointed in the costumes, there weren’t as many vagina slips on my face as I expected, but I did get stuck talking to some dude about junk food for half the night and couldn’t escape. He was going on and on about how he distributes junk food and he was a nice guy. I had to tell him that I had to go look for pussy and as much as I look like a fat guy who loves junk food, I am really a fat guy who likes creeping hot sluts in costumes out.

It’s nice to see that the creative process that Paris and Nicky went through in coming up with these costumes was a matter of walking into a sex shop and choosing whichever costume spoke to them. I am a lot more into whores who can at least come up with something inspired with the whore clothes they have lying around and it’s safe to say that Paris would have been a lot more ironic if she went out as a herpes scab, but I guess she realizes that I am the only person who finds herps scabs hot.

Paris as a Sexy Sail-Whore

Image Removed due to Papparazzi

Paris as a Naughty Alice in Wonderland

Image Removed due to Papparazzi


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Paris Hilton Does stepTV
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Paris Hilton and Nicky Hilton Partying

Posted in:Alice|Girl Scout|Halloween|Nicky Hilton|Paris Hilton|Sailor|Slut|Unsorted

2007

25

Sep

I am – Paris Hilton at an Aids Benefit of the Day

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Here’s a joke that writes itself, here are pictures of Paris Hilton at a Benefit event for The Foundation of AIDS Research. She’s either the keynote speaker who is going to talk about how all the unprotected sex she’s had has only lead to herpes, so AIDS doesn’t exist, because she’s had lots of unprotected sex with lots of people or maybe she’s there to invest in finding a cure because it does exist and it’s living in her underwear…if she’s even wearing any….that whore.


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Posted in:Aids|Charity|cleavage|Event|Paris Hilton|Unsorted

2007

24

Sep

I am – Paris Does Montreal of the Day

I found out that Paris was going to be hitting up some ChaChi bar in Montreal about a week ago. I thought it would be funny to get myself into the event even though it’s not that funny. So I tried contacting the club involved. They wanted nothing to do with me or the website so I had to think of alternative options….

I was given Paris’ number a long time ago and we used to have a little dialog going. Unfortunately her number was released on the internet and she changed the shit. So I was stuck with Stavros’ number. Now if you don’t know who Stavros is, he is the fuckin’ man. He has banged anyone famous you can think of, from Petra Nemcova, to Lohan to one of the Olsen twins – so I decided to reach out to him…

Now, Stavros has been in my phone for a while, and I constantly send him text messages and he responds. I never understood why, becauseI have told him that I am from drunkenstepfather, and he always seems to ignore what I say. I had no idea how to get into this shit, so I asked him an he put me on the list. He was under the impression that I was his boy MIchael Perez and I just rode that shit home. So as he told me that I was on the list, and I’d ask him under what name and he told me Michael Perez, I just went along with it…

When I got to the club I told them that I was this Michael Perez motherfucker and they didn’t have me on the list, so I wrote Stavros a CURT text message saying that I was gettin dicked around. The dude was wearing overalls and no shirt and made me feel uncomfortable…Within about 15 minutes the owners of the club found me in the group of 100s of people, apologized and brought me inside like I was important, even though I hadn’t showered and was wearing ratty clothes. I was on Paris’ list and they thought I was some Michael Perez motherfucker who was important for whatever reason. I got to the bar, thought it was hysterical cuz everyone in there was showered and good looking, drank as much as I could afford and waited for the night to end. I fell down the stairs to the bathroom and I was rejected when trying to get into Paris’ VIP area, by Paris Hilton. The security dude brought her my cell phone where all the Stavros messages went down, and she looked at it and said that I could join her stupid dance circle.

The whole epxerience was fucking jokes and I kept laughing. I met some black chick who liked roses and some blond chick who thought I was bored and I just drove that shit home

I think the highlight of the night was watching a whole club zone in on Paris and watch her every move. Bitch would dance and everyone in the place would clap like she was Barney. The whole place was focused 100 percent on her. I guess they didn’t notice how handsome I looked.

When I was leaving, I was told Paris hadn’t left, so I waited around to let her know who I was. Not that it got me invited to her hotel room, but it was still funny, and that is the video you see. I will deny that being my voice because the asshole in it sounds jewish and 13, but reality is that we love Paris and Stavros and this is the proof. I am now Michael Perez and you are still an asshole.

So after all is said and done, they still don’t know what this website is or that it exists, but Paris Hilton is 100 percent worth a round, and I would be willing to get herpes for one night in her. I will be tickling my balls with the hand I shook of hers, just after I disinfect it. Paris changed my life, and I am a groupie now…I am pretty easy to win over…all I need is a little booze and some attention…CUDDLES….

UPDATE: I was fucking drunk when editing and writing this post at 5 am. I was out alone and stealing booze off some dudes with gel in their hair’s bottle….I shoulda asked her to bring me back to her hotel to let me lick her asshole. But I forgot. I did feel like a 14 year old girl waiting around to see Paris, but I needed to get something for the site and I wasn’t about to get arrested over the shit, so this is what you get.

If you were looking for a video of me throwing my feces at her, this isn’t it. I am too nice for that. I forgot to tell her I was from Drunkenstepfather.com, I was just trying to get over my big breasted Barmaids big breasts and the fact that people actually care about Paris. Like care so much that there was a crowd outside the place. I was also trying to get over this really rich bald old guy and his entourage of 10 really hot 20 year olds who I can only assume were on Payroll, making me realize that when you have money you can have any pussy you want.

It may look like I was all lined up to meet and greet her, I was just standing outside with some dude from Afghanistan when this went down…harassing random people coming out of the club…but I barely got any of it on video because I was drunk. I did try to hustle a black girl and that was a first for me. It wasn’t a success because some male model type was handing out roses to all the girls and that made all their panties wet, if they were even wearing panties…which made the floor wet…either way, I was upstaged by him and I was only doing it because I figured she wouldn’t mind my stink.


Here’s the rest of my videos from that night I can’t embed the shit…So Click the Link…
GO

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Posted in:Drunk|Montreal|Paris Hilton|Party|stepEXCLUSIVE|stepSTALKER|stepTV|Unsorted

2007

18

Sep

I am – Exclusive Paris Hilton Partying Pictures of the Day

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So these pictures magically landed in my inbox today. I feel like Perez Hilton only fatter. They are of Paris Hilton rocking out Drunk Sunday Night at the club LAX for some DJ AM weekly event called Banana Split. They are trying to be cool by booking all the latest hipster acts, but reality is that DJ AM can’t be cool no matter how hard he plays his shitty played out top 40 of the last 30 years bar mitzvah party mix in exclusive limited edition sneakers. Even while Paris Hilton gets drunk and rocks out in the corner of the club making all the people who worked greased the bouncer to get in feel like they are really part of something exclusive….can’t distract them from his shitty DJ set.

Either way, I thought that Paris isn’t supposed to be out drunk partying, she’s supposed to be changing the world or some shit, at least that was the plan after jail. I love seeing people make outrageous life-changing statements and within a few months throw them out the window. Like me everytime I say I am going to quit drinking when I wake up with a wicked hangover, or my wife saying how she’s going to lose weight this year because it’s the year, or my stepdaughter saying she is going to go dyke or give up sex because she doesn’t want to get knocked up again or get AIDS…

Speaking of Lesbians, Paris reminds me of this time I had to shit really badly so I ran into this strip club in the seedy part of town because I figured why not get a lap dance while I am at it, so I bust into the place run to the bathroom when I am done, walk out to find that all the girls are a little burly. I chose the hottest one I could find but she was still fucking tranny looking, but It turned out it was because it was tranny night and I only realized when in the lap dance booth about 30 seconds in and bitches beard rubbed up against my face. I cut shit down to only one song, because its tits were pretty decent implants and it woulda been awkward running out mid-song. Either way, Paris has this tranny thing about her, she’s got these big hands and feet, she craves constant attention, she got a tranny face and she dances like a tranny. It is possible that she was born with both parts, who knows what kind of prescription drugs her ex-prostitute lookin’ wallet-fucking mom was on while knocked up making for all kinds of birth defects.

I guess what it all comes down to is that she’s having a good time, the people love her and she looks like she’s put on 20 lbs and is hiding it under a colorful potato sack. I want to fuck her blond model friend who isn’t really her friend but making strategic career choices to get herself famous…..here are those exclusive pics.


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Posted in:Dancing|Drunk|Paris Hilton|Partying|Unsorted

2007

04

Sep

I am – Paris Hilton Upskirt of the Day

Image Removed due to Papparazzi

There’s this homeless dude by my house who was once emaciated and drug addicted who parked himself outside some kind boutique where rich ladies by imported chocolates or creams or some shit that I am not sure of because I am not allowed in. Either way, in the last 6 months his been here he’s gained about 50 pounds. He’d be outside that store day and night, rain or shine and I am guess the rich old ladies felt sorry for him and hooked him up with food and money. I walked by his spot today and there was an new kid working the corner. At first I thought it was a bum fight and this younger, leaner, hungrier bum beat out the older, washed up, lazy bum, but realized that the original fat dude who’s business was bustling, just outsourced the corner on weekends so he could go on vacation. He’s made a business out of begging for change like Paris Hilton’s made a business out of showing her aids panties and her junk…


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2007

31

Aug

I am – Paris Hilton and Her Sister Partying of the Day

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I went to a bar the other night because I like getting drunk. I sat in the corner and drank my face off because the drinks were cheap and that’s what I do. ON the dancefloor there was a bitch who was doing the Paris Hilton. Now I don’t know if you guys know what the Paris Hilton is, but it’s a distinct fucking Bow-Legged stance dance that younger girls picked up by watching The Simple Life or visiting Perez Hilton. Anyway, this hot model lookin’ bitch is doing the Paris Hilton and to her right was this scraggly bitch with extensions falling out of her hair, a leopard print bra was hangin out of her shirt and short shorts jacked up her ass. So you have this tall thin hot model doing the Paris Hilton and her little ratty friend trying to get attention to make-up for her obvious shortcomings by rubbing her cunt up against the speaker and there I am thinking that I just experienced the very local Simple Life with girls I’d rather fuck. Reality is that the model will probably develop a drug addiction and her only gigs will be at the local supermarket handing out tampon samples and the rat will end up knocked up with some black baby who she doesn’t know who the father is, but these bitches will still be less useless to the world than the real Simple Lie. I would have bought them a drink to celebrate but figured why bother, I’d rather use my limited budget on myself, drink special or not and they don’t need drinks they were already jacked on Meth….

Here are some pictures of Paris and her useless sister dancing up at some club in some place recently….


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Posted in:Ass|Dancing|Drunk|Nicky Hilton|Paris Hilton|Partying|Tits|Unsorted

2007

21

Aug

I am – Caroline D'Amore Bikini Cameltoe of the Day

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This is another one of Paris Hilton’s guests at her weekend beach party. Her name is Caroline D’Amore, her parents own a pizza restaurant and she is 23 years old. I did my research on her because she looks like she’s fucking 12 and even if that shit turns you on, I don’t want to go to jail for being a child pornographer because I hear they cut you in prison for that shit, and I don’t find that shit too sexy, I am more on the parents against pedophiles side of the argument you boylover.

Reality is that I always loved those teen models who were in their 20s but pretended they were teens to get people like you off. It reminded me of Peter Pan and this girl I used to bang who was 10 years older than me but looked 10 years younger than me. I guess she was the runt of the litter or someshit, and when she was in highschool and looked 7 no one wanted a piece, but when she was 27 and looked 17 the tables fucking turned proper. That’s the problem with over-developed teen girls, they all end up getting fat when the skinny awkward ones fill out the way they’re supposed to.

Either way, I used to look at their sites because I had nothing better to do and the alternative was looking at haggard sluts with their uterus’ hanging out of their cunts so innocent and fresh was more of a fantasy than old and washed up because you always want what you don’t have.

I guess what I am getting at is that when they are 23, they are fair game and when they have their boyfriend’s name tattooed next to their cunt, they are stupid enough to end up with a guy like you, so keep the faith motherfucker…

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Posted in:Beach Party|Bikini|Cameltoe|Paris Hilton|Skinny|Tits|Uncategorized|Unsorted

2007

21

Aug

I am – Caroline D’Amore Bikini Cameltoe of the Day

caroline_damore_bikini_top.jpg

This is another one of Paris Hilton’s guests at her weekend beach party. Her name is Caroline D’Amore, her parents own a pizza restaurant and she is 23 years old. I did my research on her because she looks like she’s fucking 12 and even if that shit turns you on, I don’t want to go to jail for being a child pornographer because I hear they cut you in prison for that shit, and I don’t find that shit too sexy, I am more on the parents against pedophiles side of the argument you boylover.

Reality is that I always loved those teen models who were in their 20s but pretended they were teens to get people like you off. It reminded me of Peter Pan and this girl I used to bang who was 10 years older than me but looked 10 years younger than me. I guess she was the runt of the litter or someshit, and when she was in highschool and looked 7 no one wanted a piece, but when she was 27 and looked 17 the tables fucking turned proper. That’s the problem with over-developed teen girls, they all end up getting fat when the skinny awkward ones fill out the way they’re supposed to.

Either way, I used to look at their sites because I had nothing better to do and the alternative was looking at haggard sluts with their uterus’ hanging out of their cunts so innocent and fresh was more of a fantasy than old and washed up because you always want what you don’t have.

I guess what I am getting at is that when they are 23, they are fair game and when they have their boyfriend’s name tattooed next to their cunt, they are stupid enough to end up with a guy like you, so keep the faith motherfucker…

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Posted in:Beach Party|Bikini|Cameltoe|Paris Hilton|Skinny|Tits|Uncategorized|Unsorted

2007

20

Aug

I am – Paris Hitlon's Academy Award Bathing Suit of the Day

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Here are some pictures of Paris Hilton in some weird gold bathing suit or outfit at her Malibu Beach Party home reminding me of a Jewish grandmother on the beaches of Miami, not because I have ever been to Miami but because Jewish grandmother’s like to match their tacky outfits and they like to show false enthusiasm when they see babies…because they remember that their own kids ruined their bodies and they never really got over that….

I was emailed by a girl I once knew telling me that I make her pussy wet. I think she was trying to humor me because being the resident pervert, girls sometimes get a little crazy and like to share their craziness with me. It rarely happens, but it did this past weekend and I responded by saying that the only pussies I have ever made wet were all the pussies I ever came in contact with but as soon as the roofies wore off, the bitches dried up pretty quick and didn’t end there, they would always end up hurting me and press charges against me, leaving me fucked but always knowing to myself that I made their pussies wet even if they weren’t 100 percent there in spirit to enjoy my skill….

Either way, Paris and her ego probably think they deserve to be gold plated and that’s why she is doing it in her wardrobe choices. She loves herself so much that bitch thinks she’s a fucking trophy, the thing she tends to forget is that this trophy comes with a lot of fucking baggage, like herpes and there’s nothing fun about herpes except for maybe if your into playing connect the dots like Pee Wee Herman…Notice how bitch is getting fatter and fatter, I guess you could blame that Entourage motherfucker for filling her up with his cum, but I like to think that it’s cuz she emotionally eats herself to sleep everyday…


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Posted in:Ass|Bathing Suit|Paris Hilton|Tits|Unsorted

2007

20

Aug

I am – Paris Hitlon’s Academy Award Bathing Suit of the Day

paris_hilton_bathing_suit8.jpg

Here are some pictures of Paris Hilton in some weird gold bathing suit or outfit at her Malibu Beach Party home reminding me of a Jewish grandmother on the beaches of Miami, not because I have ever been to Miami but because Jewish grandmother’s like to match their tacky outfits and they like to show false enthusiasm when they see babies…because they remember that their own kids ruined their bodies and they never really got over that….

I was emailed by a girl I once knew telling me that I make her pussy wet. I think she was trying to humor me because being the resident pervert, girls sometimes get a little crazy and like to share their craziness with me. It rarely happens, but it did this past weekend and I responded by saying that the only pussies I have ever made wet were all the pussies I ever came in contact with but as soon as the roofies wore off, the bitches dried up pretty quick and didn’t end there, they would always end up hurting me and press charges against me, leaving me fucked but always knowing to myself that I made their pussies wet even if they weren’t 100 percent there in spirit to enjoy my skill….

Either way, Paris and her ego probably think they deserve to be gold plated and that’s why she is doing it in her wardrobe choices. She loves herself so much that bitch thinks she’s a fucking trophy, the thing she tends to forget is that this trophy comes with a lot of fucking baggage, like herpes and there’s nothing fun about herpes except for maybe if your into playing connect the dots like Pee Wee Herman…Notice how bitch is getting fatter and fatter, I guess you could blame that Entourage motherfucker for filling her up with his cum, but I like to think that it’s cuz she emotionally eats herself to sleep everyday…


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2007

06

Aug

I am – Paris Hilton Making Good on Her Word of the Day

Paris Hilton

I was walking home at around 8am from the Coke party on Friday night and I stopped in at the grocery store to grab some juice or something, but ended up being way too high to even remember what I went in there for and just walked up and down the aisles hoping I would remember. That happens to me alot. I heard a bit of a commotion at the front of the store, so went up to check things out, cause I’m nosey like that. There was some old bum freaking out about one thing or another, and had the attention of the managers and the clerks, while his buddy was behind them filling his coat with whatever he could get his hands on. Brilliant.

This was going on for awhile, until finally the Manager noticed me just standing there staring at them all, and I snapped out of it, not sure how long I had even been there. I couldn’t remember why I went in there in the first place and it got really awkward really fast, so just decided to leave before they caught on to the scam. I don’t really steal, but I’m not about to knock anyone’s hustle either, and I thought it was pretty clever, so I didn’t want to blow their cover.

Here’s Paris, fresh from a hard days work at her local soup kitchen. I’m really glad she is making good on her promises to do make more of herself and life in general. Doing all that charity work at LA nightclubs and the beach must be pretty tiring. She should really take a vacation or something.


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Posted in:Bikini|Liars|Paris Hilton|Sluts|Unsorted

2007

01

Aug

I am – Paris Hilton's Almost Upskirt of the Day

Paris Hilton

Yesterday, while I was on my 2 hour layover in Chicago, I sat at a “Beach” bar getting drunk. I was surrounded by other folks who found it perfectly acceptable to get wasted at 4pm in an airport. This consisted of hefty middle-aged men in khakis, a crew of fratboys, a lone tie-dye hippy, and a blonde girl my age who got stuck sitting next to a chatty grandpa. While I was sipping my Sam Adams and Strawberry Margarita (double fisting is for the booze, not the sack), the bigscreen tuned to Fox News taught me Paris is selling her house, and that parents somewhere are fighting back against a pedophile and his website. They showed the ped’s pic, and it could have been a younger version of anyone of the fags surrounding me (except the girl and the hippy).

I got home at 11pm and considered bar-crawling, but my five days in California stuffed me more than a thanksgiving turkey, that is if thanksgiving turkey’s were stuffed with cocks. I lost about five pounds from all the sex and traveling. What sucks is how sore my vagina and tits are, and the rugburn on my left ass cheek I don’t remember getting. I think I may close up shop for a while, keeping the play down to dry-humping, and the exchange of bodily fluids down to spit. But these resolutions always fall apart after 5 vodka-on-the-rocks, and by then I’m on my knees or back faster than you can shove the porn under your bed when your mom comes knock’n.

Here is Paris Hilton out on the town and attempting to close up shop. I guess being cut-off from her inheritance has inspired her to keep her clit from breathing free, in hopes of winning back grandpa’s approval. Come on Paris, it was the prison that pissed him off. We all know the quickest way into an old man’s heart is showing a little freshly shaved meat. Ew, I need a shower and you need some alone time with Ms. Hilton’s innermost thigh and invisible box.

Obediently yours,
Sugar Nell (ex-hooker, friend of Jesus)

EMAIL ME HERE


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Posted in:Paris Hilton|Slut|Uncategorized|Unsorted|Upskirt

2007

01

Aug

I am – Paris Hilton’s Almost Upskirt of the Day

Paris Hilton

Yesterday, while I was on my 2 hour layover in Chicago, I sat at a “Beach” bar getting drunk. I was surrounded by other folks who found it perfectly acceptable to get wasted at 4pm in an airport. This consisted of hefty middle-aged men in khakis, a crew of fratboys, a lone tie-dye hippy, and a blonde girl my age who got stuck sitting next to a chatty grandpa. While I was sipping my Sam Adams and Strawberry Margarita (double fisting is for the booze, not the sack), the bigscreen tuned to Fox News taught me Paris is selling her house, and that parents somewhere are fighting back against a pedophile and his website. They showed the ped’s pic, and it could have been a younger version of anyone of the fags surrounding me (except the girl and the hippy).

I got home at 11pm and considered bar-crawling, but my five days in California stuffed me more than a thanksgiving turkey, that is if thanksgiving turkey’s were stuffed with cocks. I lost about five pounds from all the sex and traveling. What sucks is how sore my vagina and tits are, and the rugburn on my left ass cheek I don’t remember getting. I think I may close up shop for a while, keeping the play down to dry-humping, and the exchange of bodily fluids down to spit. But these resolutions always fall apart after 5 vodka-on-the-rocks, and by then I’m on my knees or back faster than you can shove the porn under your bed when your mom comes knock’n.

Here is Paris Hilton out on the town and attempting to close up shop. I guess being cut-off from her inheritance has inspired her to keep her clit from breathing free, in hopes of winning back grandpa’s approval. Come on Paris, it was the prison that pissed him off. We all know the quickest way into an old man’s heart is showing a little freshly shaved meat. Ew, I need a shower and you need some alone time with Ms. Hilton’s innermost thigh and invisible box.

Obediently yours,
Sugar Nell (ex-hooker, friend of Jesus)

EMAIL ME HERE


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Posted in:Paris Hilton|Slut|Uncategorized|Unsorted|Upskirt

2007

16

Jul

I am – Paris Hilton's Post Prison Nip Slip of the Day

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I’d like to write something hilarious about this and then veer off into some sort of story that seems unrelated at the start, but brings everything together in the end, but my wireless is fucking up again, and it just took me half an hour to load 3 photos and frankly, I’m pissed off.

So all you get is blondie here, with her nipples hanging out, like a pepperoni flying off an NYC deli pizza, as usual, and in the end, do I really have to say more then that?


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