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Archive for the Penelope Cruz Category

2013

13

Sep

Penelope Cruz Bikinis of the Day

I don’t know if Penelope Cruz is pregnant, recently pregnant, or just into eating baked goods, but I do know she’s in a bikini on vacation, from what I assume is a hugely stressful life that includes but is not limited to sitting on top of a pile of money and getting tons of free things from companies hoping you wear or endorse the shit…and I figure any excuse to kick back and get into a bikini…even if you’re not quite bikini ready..works for me…because any bitch in a bikini, fat or not, is worth looking at, even if it is for comedic reasons.

To See THe Rest of the Pics CLICK HERE

Posted in:Penelope Cruz

2013

24

Apr

Penelope Cruz Topless in Her New Movie of the Day

Penelope Cruz and her nose are in a movie called Twice Born, that I guess they are leaking the topeless scene pics from, in order to remind you to go see this movie, because clearly it has a compelling story line, with a Oscar winning cast, that you won’t actually bother seeing, because you’ve seen all that matters….Penelope Cruz’s tits. Not that Penelope Cruz has ever been all that hot, with her nose and all, especially not now that she’s either pregnant or already dropped a kid, but movie titties are movie titties and I am compelled to post them, like I HAVE DONE BEFORE because she’s all european and an Oscar winner who takes acting so seriously that she takes her clothes off…good girl….

I was once compelled to fuck this bitch with a massive nose who thought she looked like Penelope Cruz because she had a tan, I figure if I can’t get the real thing, I might as well fuck girls who think they look like stars, even when they don’t, because it’s as close as I’ll ever get….not that I’m into this shit, but you get what I’m saying, at least I hope you do, because I sure as hell don’t.

Posted in:NSFW|Penelope Cruz

2013

15

Mar

Penelope Cruz in her Bikini of the Day

I used to bang a girl who thought she looked like Penelope Cruz because they both had massive noses….the only difference was that she wasn’t Penelope Cruz and just had a big nose…..meaning two things…the first – that Penelope Cruz rocks a big nose, something we all hate better than any girl…..I mean so good she’s even hotter than girls with normal sized noses……the second…that she makes other big nosed girls thing they shouldn’t get a nose job even when they should….

Here she is on the beach, pregnant with Javier’s baby, looking better than most pregnant chicks…because I guess Penelope Cruz is one of those girls who could make herpes scabs look awesome…cuz let’s face it…pregnancy is the worst STD around….

Here’s the video:


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Posted in:Penelope Cruz

2012

14

Nov

Penelope Cruz in the 2013 Campari Calendar of the Day

Lady in fucking red…holy shit….turns out that I am down with any alcohol company who doesn’t advertise on this site because they are snobs and too busy spending 100s of thousands of dollars on Penelope Cruz, the Oscar winning Spanish actress you may or may not have heard of, but have probably seen her fucking nose, at some point or another….because that’s the signature feature that she’s helped big nosed women come to terms with over the years….as the media told us she was beautiful…

I know this cuz I used to fuck a girl with a big fucking nose…I’m talking offensively big…and she was convinced she looked like Penelope Cruz….when really…she looked like a girl with a big fucking nose…but that didn’t stop her from getting with the likes of me…when really she should have been with far less attractive men…but Penelope Cruz got her through it…like she is getting through me…with this hot…red…glamour shoot for Campari….

I want to dirty up this high quality, high production loveliness with my genitals….and she is not even naked or not a 40 year old mom….

Posted in:Penelope Cruz

2012

02

Feb

Penelope Cruz Showing Skin for PETA of the Day

Penelope Cruz really fucked us on this PETA campaign…she’s supposed to get naked for fur, not give fur the cold shoulder…what a fucking rip off…but the good news is that she’s recently had a kid and isn’t the big bird nosed Penelope Cruz she once was….making these non nude pics of her not getting naked for fur a nice gesture on PETA’s part…but then again, I’m into seeing all bitches naked…and not strategic naked that’s like they aren’t even naked….I’m talking fully spread eagled and ready for entry….

Here s a compilation of her nude scenes that brought her from Spain to America to make up for PETA’s Fail….

Posted in:Penelope Cruz

2011

28

Jun

Penelope Cruz’s Mom Body in a Dress of the Day

Here are some pictures of Penelope Cruz in a dress post pregnancy.

I always thought she was kind of erotic except for her nose..you know all European accent and hot body and shit…but now you can add mom pussy and baby weight to those strikes against her….however she kinda redeemed herself when getting married in July, just 6 months prior to her birth, in what most haven’t called out as a shotgun wedding, cuz they were all distracted by wondering why the fuck they cared that two Spanish actors who made it in Hollywood were getting married…and I fucking love shotgun weddings….they remind me of white trash teen pregnancy from the deep south in the 60s, a fetish of mine, but more importantly they remind me there was a 3 month windo where they contemplated getting an aboriton…

Either way, these pics would be much better with more LABIA….God knows that since he birth she’s got some to spare…

Posted in:Penelope Cruz

2011

16

May

Penelope Cruz Pirate Tits of the Day

Pirated tits is way better than pirated music, movies, and software. I never found Penelope Cruz to be anything special, maybe it is cuz her nose could double as back-up sail on the Pirate Ship after getting shot by a cannon, or maybe its cuz I’m racist against Spanish people….or maybe I just like my bitches to be closer to 18 than 45…who really knows, but here is her cleavage anyway, even though we’re more into booty…..(embarrassingly bad joke if I was the kind of motherfucker who got embarrassed, while I’m just the motherfucker trying to get pictures of celebs I don’t give a fuck about up)

Posted in:Penelope Cruz

2011

05

Apr

Penelope Cruz on Her Knees of the Day

When I saw these pictures of Penelope Cruz on her knees after paying Hollywood to validate herself as a key player, you know cuz her Oscar and millions of dollar per role wasn’t enough for her vain, self absorbed ass, by buying herself a fucking star on the walk of fame….and I figure this means so much to her because like a book ending, her on her knees is how she started her shit….at least that’s usually the case…FOLLOW ME


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Posted in:Penelope Cruz

2011

24

Feb

Penelope Cruz and Her New Milk Filled Mom Tits of the Day

Pregnancy generally disgusts me. You know the idea of a woman’s body being destroyed for the sake of letting some creature grow inside them to carry on their genetics in some vain weird way. You know the worst STD around….

But there are perks…at least when the kid isn’t yours….the main one being that pregnant bitches can’t get knocked up by you when you’re fucking them cuz they are horny and their husbands don’t want to touch them for fear of hurting the baby….but also the new milk filled tits that give the husband who hasn’t fucked in months something to distract him from the sloppy ripped apart vagina his woman is left with…you know allowing him to feel like he’s with a new doughier woman for the first few months of the pregnancy…usually while she’s passed out from exhaustion…but it quickly loses it’s appeal…and in Penelope Cruz’s case…that hasn’t happened yet…since these are pretty much the first post-pregnancy pics I’ve bothered noticing…and them tits be delicious and nutritious…

And that’s all I have to say about pregancy for now…

Posted in:Penelope Cruz

2010

19

Feb

Penelope Cruz is the Nose I Want to Fuck of the Day

Girls with big noses are usually scary, monster looking bitches who can’t suck my dick proper because my dick’s so small that I had to ask the doctor if it was actually a dick.

They only get the tip in their mouth before bumpin against my pubic wall, embarrassing all parties involved, except me, because I have no shame. I just spin it on them having the birth defect and not me, even if I know that’s not entirely true, but unlike Tiger Woods, I don’t admit to my shortcomings, I spin them in a way that I come out on top and bitch ends up stripping to save up enough money to get a nose job….

Penelope Cruz on the other hand, is hot despite the big nose that may be physically unable to suck my dick, because that doesn’t matter, as we’ll never have to cross that road….

Pics via Fame

Posted in:Nose|Penelope Cruz

2010

14

Jan

Penelope Cruz Ass in a Bikini of the Day

Here are some pictures of Penelope Cruz showing off her pretty hot ass while doin’ a little prostate tickle on the beach with her man because I guess she’s Spanish and a little more sexually liberated than your wife who you secretly want to get ass play from but you’re too scared your going to like it and go gay, cuz only fags like ass play, even though it’s scientifically proven to feel good.

Either way, she’s the only big nosed girl I find attractive cuz big noses are ugly. I’ve had my fair share of big nosed girls and it’s always ended in disaster, cuz when I try to shove my dick down their throats, I just get nose against my pelvis and the whole thing is a fucking disaster, but I guess you can only blame my small dick for that and the nice thing about Penelope Cruz is that she has worked a way around that by pullin’ out other tricks and here she is on the beach…

Pics via Fame

Posted in:Bikini|Penelope Cruz

2009

11

Dec

Penelope Cruz Topless in Los Abrazos Rotos of the Day

Since I don’t own a TV and don’t really like spending the little money I have on going to the movies, I am really not too up to speed on what’s new and what Penelope Cruz is doing with her career, especially when the shit is foreign, but I do know that whatever this fucking movie is, Penelope Cruz was topless in it and her small perky tits are nice to look at in any language, just as long as the sun isn’t behind her so that her big stupid nose she should get operated on doesn’t casts a shadow and black out her tits….

Here are the clips….

There was another topless chick in the movie, her name was Kira Miro and these are her tits….

Posted in:Penelope Cruz|Topless

2009

14

Oct

Penelope Cruz Big Nosed Cleavage of the Day

I used to fight with this chick I was fucking about whether she was good looking or not, because she definitely wasn’t but she thought she was because a whole lot of dudes would tell her she was, when they were drunk.

I used to say that nothing on her was attractive, she had a wonky face, a shitty body, uneven tits, a meaty pussy and a flat ass, short legs, long torso, rash on her inner thigh, port wine stain down her back, a cancerous lookin’ lesion, acne scars, greasy hair even after she showered, two different colored eyes, and was missing a tooth, but she wasn’t fat and sometimes I guess that’s good enough, I mean it was good enough for me and all those drunk dudes who would try to get her home with them….

That said, if you were to meet Penelope Cruz’s nose, without the rest of her attached, you’d think shit this is one disgusting nose, and if she wasn’t Penelope Cruz, I’d be the kind of guy who wouldn’t be able to focus on anything but her nose, because it is so far from perfect. It’s like I’d stare at that shit when we eat, when we drink, when we fuck and when we sleep. I’d stare at it when we were at movies, and out tap dancing, it would take over my fucking life, but I guess for the rest of the world, they focus on the good and not that bad and they don’t judge a woman based on her imperfections, they focus on the entire package and personality, pretty much because they take whatever they can get and pretend to be happy with it, where as I take what I can get, and stay miserable with it…

Pics via Fame

Posted in:cleavage|Penelope Cruz

2009

10

Sep

Pregnant Penelope Cruz Pictures of the Day

Another one bites the dust….RIP Penelope Cruz’s sex appeal cuz bitch is reportedly knocked the fuck up. It happens to the best of them, I mean she’s just being a woman. We can’t really hate her, especailly when her nose was so fucking big, it was almost hard to love her, so if anything it all makes sense.

Pics via Fame

Posted in:Penelope Cruz|Pregnant

2009

18

May

Penelope Cruz in Panties of the Day

I don’t know what this stage show is all about, but I do know I like it. Sure bitch has a big ol’ nose that kinda fucks with my head and I am sure fucks with any dude she’s giving head to, you know trying to get your dick deep throated with that shit poking into your pelvis is fuckin’ annoying and not fully attractive, but she manages to pull it off and that’s all that matters. Maybe I’m just being nice becuase she’s got no pants on.

That said, I met some radom cute girl and I got to talking to her. She told me she just got back from some Russia circus she was touring with, now I know you don’t know me, but if you want to get me excited, all you have to fuckin’ say to me is circus. Anyway, I got excited and got to asking her about what she did in the circus, you know since it’s a magical fuckin place and she could be anything from the person who picks up the elephant shit to the fuckin’ contortionist who can eat herself out.

It turns out she’s a fuckin’ acrobat, so instead of seducing her, I decided to ask her if she ever considered doing porn because I feel her skills would come in handy, and that pretty much concluded that future love affair.

Here’s that Cruz bullshit.

Posted in:Panties|Penelope Cruz