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Archive for the Penelope Cruz Category




Penelope Cruz for Agent Provocateur Desert Dance of the Day

Penelope Cruz is a typical actress, who has been on enough sets to feel like she has what it takes to direct a movie, or a commercial, because clearly, it’s not that hard to direct a movie, or a commercial….if you have a camera guy and editor…and a brand willing to pay for it because they know if they allow you to edit it…you’ll participate..for your portfolio, to give you some more value and substance to your vapid acting career, even if you’re a fucking Oscar winner…or especially if you are an Oscar winner, because you know first hand that it’s a pile of bullshit…from masturbatory and commercialized industry all about making money…

What isn’t a pile of bullshit is that girls in lingerie in the desert are hot. Good job Penelope…that nose sniffed out a good path for you…

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Penelope Cruz Pregnant Bikini on the Beach of the Day

Penelope Cruz is pregnant, and despite popular belief, or general decency, she decided to get into a bikini, and either she’s a tiny woman, or her baby is fucking massive, because whatever is going on here…that baby bump is more of having a litter bump…and I guess based her face, maybe it’s just the fetus’ nose pushing her belly out like that..

All this to say, I don’t find Penelope Cruz hot. I don’t think girls with big noses should keep said big noses, I’ve been with a Penelope Cruz looking girl, who thought it was okay to life life like that because Penelope Cruz did it, despite Penelope Cruz being the only one capable of pulling it off in the history of big noses…

I don’t mind staring at her hard nipples in a sheer top though, but that’s only because I’m a man and we like that shit…


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Penelope Cruz Nipples in a Bathing Suit of the Day

Penelope Cruz is a mom of 1 or 2 kids but more importantly, she has nipples when she’s wet in a bathing suit…something so much more appealing if these weren’t pictures of Penelope CRUZ in a bathing suit on the beach…but rather a girl giving me a blow job…

Speaking of girl giving me Blowjobs, there was a minute where I was fucking this skinny bitch who thought Penelope Cruz was her celebrity look-a-like, because she had a huge fucking nose and so does Penelope Cruz…

So if anything, this bitch encourages girls with shitty noses to not get plastic surgery, which can’t be a good thing, at least not in this superficial world we live in…it’s like just because Penelope Cruz made a career off her flaws, she’s even an Oscar winner, doesn’t mean you should, you elephant-faced, bird looking motherfucker, who we can use as a sailboat in the event the world finally floods and kills us all of, as we hope it does…

Either way, here’s bitch having a better life than you, when you’re all low class, poor and pathetic…like me…it’s not a good look for anyone, but if we cared about that…we would be poor and pathetic in the first place…


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Penelope Cruz Bikinis of the Day

I don’t know if Penelope Cruz is pregnant, recently pregnant, or just into eating baked goods, but I do know she’s in a bikini on vacation, from what I assume is a hugely stressful life that includes but is not limited to sitting on top of a pile of money and getting tons of free things from companies hoping you wear or endorse the shit…and I figure any excuse to kick back and get into a bikini…even if you’re not quite bikini ready..works for me…because any bitch in a bikini, fat or not, is worth looking at, even if it is for comedic reasons.

To See THe Rest of the Pics CLICK HERE

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Penelope Cruz Topless in Her New Movie of the Day

Penelope Cruz and her nose are in a movie called Twice Born, that I guess they are leaking the topeless scene pics from, in order to remind you to go see this movie, because clearly it has a compelling story line, with a Oscar winning cast, that you won’t actually bother seeing, because you’ve seen all that matters….Penelope Cruz’s tits. Not that Penelope Cruz has ever been all that hot, with her nose and all, especially not now that she’s either pregnant or already dropped a kid, but movie titties are movie titties and I am compelled to post them, like I HAVE DONE BEFORE because she’s all european and an Oscar winner who takes acting so seriously that she takes her clothes off…good girl….

I was once compelled to fuck this bitch with a massive nose who thought she looked like Penelope Cruz because she had a tan, I figure if I can’t get the real thing, I might as well fuck girls who think they look like stars, even when they don’t, because it’s as close as I’ll ever get….not that I’m into this shit, but you get what I’m saying, at least I hope you do, because I sure as hell don’t.

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Penelope Cruz in her Bikini of the Day

I used to bang a girl who thought she looked like Penelope Cruz because they both had massive noses….the only difference was that she wasn’t Penelope Cruz and just had a big nose…..meaning two things…the first – that Penelope Cruz rocks a big nose, something we all hate better than any girl…..I mean so good she’s even hotter than girls with normal sized noses……the second…that she makes other big nosed girls thing they shouldn’t get a nose job even when they should….

Here she is on the beach, pregnant with Javier’s baby, looking better than most pregnant chicks…because I guess Penelope Cruz is one of those girls who could make herpes scabs look awesome…cuz let’s face it…pregnancy is the worst STD around….

Here’s the video:


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Penelope Cruz in the 2013 Campari Calendar of the Day

Lady in fucking red…holy shit….turns out that I am down with any alcohol company who doesn’t advertise on this site because they are snobs and too busy spending 100s of thousands of dollars on Penelope Cruz, the Oscar winning Spanish actress you may or may not have heard of, but have probably seen her fucking nose, at some point or another….because that’s the signature feature that she’s helped big nosed women come to terms with over the years….as the media told us she was beautiful…

I know this cuz I used to fuck a girl with a big fucking nose…I’m talking offensively big…and she was convinced she looked like Penelope Cruz….when really…she looked like a girl with a big fucking nose…but that didn’t stop her from getting with the likes of me…when really she should have been with far less attractive men…but Penelope Cruz got her through it…like she is getting through me…with this hot…red…glamour shoot for Campari….

I want to dirty up this high quality, high production loveliness with my genitals….and she is not even naked or not a 40 year old mom….

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Penelope Cruz Showing Skin for PETA of the Day

Penelope Cruz really fucked us on this PETA campaign…she’s supposed to get naked for fur, not give fur the cold shoulder…what a fucking rip off…but the good news is that she’s recently had a kid and isn’t the big bird nosed Penelope Cruz she once was….making these non nude pics of her not getting naked for fur a nice gesture on PETA’s part…but then again, I’m into seeing all bitches naked…and not strategic naked that’s like they aren’t even naked….I’m talking fully spread eagled and ready for entry….

Here s a compilation of her nude scenes that brought her from Spain to America to make up for PETA’s Fail….

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Penelope Cruz’s Mom Body in a Dress of the Day

Here are some pictures of Penelope Cruz in a dress post pregnancy.

I always thought she was kind of erotic except for her nose..you know all European accent and hot body and shit…but now you can add mom pussy and baby weight to those strikes against her….however she kinda redeemed herself when getting married in July, just 6 months prior to her birth, in what most haven’t called out as a shotgun wedding, cuz they were all distracted by wondering why the fuck they cared that two Spanish actors who made it in Hollywood were getting married…and I fucking love shotgun weddings….they remind me of white trash teen pregnancy from the deep south in the 60s, a fetish of mine, but more importantly they remind me there was a 3 month windo where they contemplated getting an aboriton…

Either way, these pics would be much better with more LABIA….God knows that since he birth she’s got some to spare…

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