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Archive for the Penelope Cruz Category




Penelope Cruz on Her Knees of the Day

When I saw these pictures of Penelope Cruz on her knees after paying Hollywood to validate herself as a key player, you know cuz her Oscar and millions of dollar per role wasn’t enough for her vain, self absorbed ass, by buying herself a fucking star on the walk of fame….and I figure this means so much to her because like a book ending, her on her knees is how she started her shit….at least that’s usually the case…FOLLOW ME

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Posted in:Penelope Cruz




Penelope Cruz and Her New Milk Filled Mom Tits of the Day

Pregnancy generally disgusts me. You know the idea of a woman’s body being destroyed for the sake of letting some creature grow inside them to carry on their genetics in some vain weird way. You know the worst STD around….

But there are perks…at least when the kid isn’t yours….the main one being that pregnant bitches can’t get knocked up by you when you’re fucking them cuz they are horny and their husbands don’t want to touch them for fear of hurting the baby….but also the new milk filled tits that give the husband who hasn’t fucked in months something to distract him from the sloppy ripped apart vagina his woman is left with…you know allowing him to feel like he’s with a new doughier woman for the first few months of the pregnancy…usually while she’s passed out from exhaustion…but it quickly loses it’s appeal…and in Penelope Cruz’s case…that hasn’t happened yet…since these are pretty much the first post-pregnancy pics I’ve bothered noticing…and them tits be delicious and nutritious…

And that’s all I have to say about pregancy for now…

Posted in:Penelope Cruz




Penelope Cruz is the Nose I Want to Fuck of the Day

Girls with big noses are usually scary, monster looking bitches who can’t suck my dick proper because my dick’s so small that I had to ask the doctor if it was actually a dick.

They only get the tip in their mouth before bumpin against my pubic wall, embarrassing all parties involved, except me, because I have no shame. I just spin it on them having the birth defect and not me, even if I know that’s not entirely true, but unlike Tiger Woods, I don’t admit to my shortcomings, I spin them in a way that I come out on top and bitch ends up stripping to save up enough money to get a nose job….

Penelope Cruz on the other hand, is hot despite the big nose that may be physically unable to suck my dick, because that doesn’t matter, as we’ll never have to cross that road….

Pics via Fame

Posted in:Nose|Penelope Cruz




Penelope Cruz Ass in a Bikini of the Day

Here are some pictures of Penelope Cruz showing off her pretty hot ass while doin’ a little prostate tickle on the beach with her man because I guess she’s Spanish and a little more sexually liberated than your wife who you secretly want to get ass play from but you’re too scared your going to like it and go gay, cuz only fags like ass play, even though it’s scientifically proven to feel good.

Either way, she’s the only big nosed girl I find attractive cuz big noses are ugly. I’ve had my fair share of big nosed girls and it’s always ended in disaster, cuz when I try to shove my dick down their throats, I just get nose against my pelvis and the whole thing is a fucking disaster, but I guess you can only blame my small dick for that and the nice thing about Penelope Cruz is that she has worked a way around that by pullin’ out other tricks and here she is on the beach…

Pics via Fame

Posted in:Bikini|Penelope Cruz




Penelope Cruz Topless in Los Abrazos Rotos of the Day

Since I don’t own a TV and don’t really like spending the little money I have on going to the movies, I am really not too up to speed on what’s new and what Penelope Cruz is doing with her career, especially when the shit is foreign, but I do know that whatever this fucking movie is, Penelope Cruz was topless in it and her small perky tits are nice to look at in any language, just as long as the sun isn’t behind her so that her big stupid nose she should get operated on doesn’t casts a shadow and black out her tits….

Here are the clips….

There was another topless chick in the movie, her name was Kira Miro and these are her tits….

Posted in:Penelope Cruz|Topless




Penelope Cruz Big Nosed Cleavage of the Day

I used to fight with this chick I was fucking about whether she was good looking or not, because she definitely wasn’t but she thought she was because a whole lot of dudes would tell her she was, when they were drunk.

I used to say that nothing on her was attractive, she had a wonky face, a shitty body, uneven tits, a meaty pussy and a flat ass, short legs, long torso, rash on her inner thigh, port wine stain down her back, a cancerous lookin’ lesion, acne scars, greasy hair even after she showered, two different colored eyes, and was missing a tooth, but she wasn’t fat and sometimes I guess that’s good enough, I mean it was good enough for me and all those drunk dudes who would try to get her home with them….

That said, if you were to meet Penelope Cruz’s nose, without the rest of her attached, you’d think shit this is one disgusting nose, and if she wasn’t Penelope Cruz, I’d be the kind of guy who wouldn’t be able to focus on anything but her nose, because it is so far from perfect. It’s like I’d stare at that shit when we eat, when we drink, when we fuck and when we sleep. I’d stare at it when we were at movies, and out tap dancing, it would take over my fucking life, but I guess for the rest of the world, they focus on the good and not that bad and they don’t judge a woman based on her imperfections, they focus on the entire package and personality, pretty much because they take whatever they can get and pretend to be happy with it, where as I take what I can get, and stay miserable with it…

Pics via Fame

Posted in:cleavage|Penelope Cruz




Pregnant Penelope Cruz Pictures of the Day

Another one bites the dust….RIP Penelope Cruz’s sex appeal cuz bitch is reportedly knocked the fuck up. It happens to the best of them, I mean she’s just being a woman. We can’t really hate her, especailly when her nose was so fucking big, it was almost hard to love her, so if anything it all makes sense.

Pics via Fame

Posted in:Penelope Cruz|Pregnant




Penelope Cruz in Panties of the Day

I don’t know what this stage show is all about, but I do know I like it. Sure bitch has a big ol’ nose that kinda fucks with my head and I am sure fucks with any dude she’s giving head to, you know trying to get your dick deep throated with that shit poking into your pelvis is fuckin’ annoying and not fully attractive, but she manages to pull it off and that’s all that matters. Maybe I’m just being nice becuase she’s got no pants on.

That said, I met some radom cute girl and I got to talking to her. She told me she just got back from some Russia circus she was touring with, now I know you don’t know me, but if you want to get me excited, all you have to fuckin’ say to me is circus. Anyway, I got excited and got to asking her about what she did in the circus, you know since it’s a magical fuckin place and she could be anything from the person who picks up the elephant shit to the fuckin’ contortionist who can eat herself out.

It turns out she’s a fuckin’ acrobat, so instead of seducing her, I decided to ask her if she ever considered doing porn because I feel her skills would come in handy, and that pretty much concluded that future love affair.

Here’s that Cruz bullshit.

Posted in:Panties|Penelope Cruz




Some Penelope Cruz Almost See Through Pictures of the Day

The funny thing about Penelope Cruz is that she is an inspiration to big nosed girls everywhere. All girls with dark hair use her as a reference or justification why they keep their big noses. They reference her as their celebrity look-a-like and she brings them a level of confidence that they need to leave their house without a scarf over their faces. The truth is Penelope Cruz does pull off the big nose, but from my experience, the big nosed girls who I have met and who think she’s the idea woman don’t, and that’s why I randomly email before and after nose job pictures from fake emails to passive aggressively get my point across, because pointing and laughing at big nose jokes hasn’t been all that effective

Speaking of big noses, I was just getting a coffee from my local arab coffee shop and for those of you who don’t know Montreal, there are a lot of Jews here. Pretty much 90 percent of people who speak English are Jewish and ever since these arabs took over the coffee shop a year or two ago, I’ve noticed a steady decline in traffic.

It’s worked for me because there are no lines or crowds to spark my social anxiety and panic attacks I get when I am sober, but unfortunately the arabs are cheaper than the previous owners who used to give me coffee for free and now I have to pay retail. It doesn’t really bother me that much, it’s a fucking coffee and I’ve consistently been stealing a couple of dollars from my wife everyday for the last decade without her noticing, but that’s not the point.

Today, I walked in and saw the manager was wearing a Free Palestine pin. I took him aside and told him that I’m not an expert, I am not Jewish or Arab and don’t know their issues, I also don’t know business or claim to know his business, but there’s a lot of Jews who already stopped buying from him because they think that for every coffee they buy, some of the money goes back to fund his militia at home and that he may want to lay low on advertising his stance fact with propaganda on plastered on his fuckin’ shirt, if he wants to stay in business. Instead of thanking me for my advice, he just passionately told me he hates jews and doesn’t want them around and now he hates me too and to get the fuck out of his store and I did before he suicide bombed the place….I’m am not ready to die for a fuckin’ coffee or cause I don’t care about…

Here’s some Penelope Cruz see through shit….

Posted in:Penelope Cruz|See Through