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Archive for the Petra Nemcova Category

2015

26

Jan

Petra Nemcova Not Retouched for Ultimo Lingerie of the Day

Petra Nemcova is a Czech model who must be in her late 40s, because I feel like she’s been around forever. She’s been part of every underwear campaign the last 2 decades, from Victoria’s Secret, to La Perla, to Victoria’s secret, to whatever the fuck Ultimo is…and she probably booked the work, because she’s tall…And unlike other Czech Girls, she didn’t have to work in the sex trade because they are hot and more affordable than American porn chicks, because Czech girls are always willing to fuck on camera for money….at least it seems that way if you watch porn…and they are the only hot ones doing it…but she’s still getting half naked for fashion…

I think the most interesting thing about this babe, is not that she’s a babe who doesn’t need to be retouched, you know since that’s the whole fucking point of using models and not fat actors as spokespeople to push the brand, the whole retouching thing makes no fucking sense…but it is that she survived the Tsunami…and that’s a pretty gangster thing to survive…and thank god she survived, so that we can stare.

Posted in:Petra Nemcova

2014

13

Nov

Petra Nemcova for Modern Luxury of the Day

Petra Nemcova was on Vacation in Thailand with her boyfriend who ended up being swept away by the Tsunami, that she survived….by hanging in a tree…for hours…

I guess what “God” was telling us is that the world has far too many photographers, or aspiring photographers, and doesn’t need any more of them…so one being swept away won’t change much…but there’s only one Petra Nemcova and she’s fucking substantial, so we’ll have to let her live, so that 10 years later she can get cast in campaigns for “Modern Luxury”….that clearly aren’t life changing, but that if you were given a second lease on life, would likely be the last thing you do…I guess as the years go on, it’s easier to get back into the normal everyday struggles…and I saw let her do anything she wants, because she’s amazing…even in boring shoots.

Posted in:Petra Nemcova

2014

11

Jun

Petra Nemcova Tsunami Survivor for GQ Portugal of the Day

There is a reason that Petra Nemcova survived the Tsunami and her husband or fiancé didn’t, and that reason wasn’t to help Southeast Asia with all her philanthropic work. You know like one of those people who give purpose and meaning to the traumatic event in their life.

She survived the Tsunami to be fit and posing in GQ Portugal with her amazing eastern European genetics, and by amazing eastern European genetics I mean her tits…This shoot is crazy…

It is the kind of shoot that makes me want to some how convince her to Tsunami all over my face with her vagina….only in this Tsunami, the only thing dying is every other woman in the world, figuratively, because that pussy may be a bad luck charm, but the rest of her is the kind of thing that looks addictive enough to want want to get pregnant.

She’s a survivor, who has been through a lot, but looks better than all you lazy American girls who have never seen tragedy, struggle or despair..and that’s why I like her better than you….what I don’t like is every single man who has had sex with her…because they aren’t me, and giving her unrealistic expectations for the sex intend to have with these pics…true story.

Posted in:Petra Nemcova

2013

22

May

Petra Nemcova Hot Lingerie Photoshoot of the Day

My favorite thing about Petra Nemcova is that she survived the Tsunami like a superhero when the person she was with, her fiance, didn’t. Unless it was just an extravagant attempt to escape being locked down by her, and dude lives a life under a different name in South East Asia, which is possible, because even the hottest bitches, are nagging, self involved, emotionally driven, cunts who annoy as they try to control their man…..

My other favorite thing about Petra Nemcova, is staring at her nipples. She’s a survivor and by survivor I mean lovely as fuck…..

Posted in:NSFW|Petra Nemcova

2013

08

Feb

Petra Nemcova Titties of the Day

I want to Tsunami all over her….with my dick…only instead of trapping her in a tree while her fiance gets washed away…so I can have her allfor myself….I’m hoping my Tsunami ends with her pregnant…and lock her down forever….She’s amazing.

Posted in:Petra Nemcova

2012

25

Oct

Petra Nemcova’s Got the Best Shirt of the Day


Before seeing these awesome pics of an awesome shirt of Awesome Petra Nemcova….I pretty much forgot she existed…It’s like her fiance never died in the tsunami….and all it took was bringing out the tits to remind us she’s still here…and that she climbed up a fucking tree that day and wasn’t swept away with the motherfucker they never found….and I appreciate her efforts…to keep his memory alive…cuz motherfuckers…I like me some titties….in public….in see through shirts so see through she might as well not be wearing a shirt…but maybe I am just emotional cuz I survived a Central American earthquake I didn’t even notice til the power went out…cuz I was at a bar drunk chatting up a tranny….and my world is always set on fucking vibrate….I’m a cockroach people…not going anywhere….

These pics are almost a week old – but I am in Central America and thus new to me….like every Adam Levine song is new to these people….

Posted in:Petra Nemcova

2011

11

Nov

Petra Nemcova’s Tight Dress of the Day

Here’s some Petra Nemcova for old times….

You gotta love a bitch who doesn’t get taken out by a Tsunami like 1000s of other bitches who weren’t so lucky, it’s like she’s the chosen one, maybe invincible, maybe just too hot for for a dude to not like her step on his shoulders and push him down while she climbs up the fucking tree for air….tapping into her communist escape surivival skills, where it’s either me or him kinda thing, all cold and Russian about it and able to still smile at events….I mean that’s my take on the Petra Nemcova shit, but then again, maybe it’s fluke and she’s just happy to be alive afte rthe whole greiving process, but where’s the fun in that….I like my women blood thirsty sociopaths, or broken….not emotionally sound and balanced….here she is in a tight enough dress that I’d rather be a bikini….but I hear she loses her shit everytime she gets in a bikini near the ocean, but I could have just made that up….

Posted in:Petra Nemcova

2011

30

Aug

Petra Nemcova in a Maid’s Uniform of the Day

When she’s not stepping on her boyfriend’s head during to save herself during Tsunamis. Petra Nemcova is dressing up in maid uniform fetish gear, with some vintage pantyhose goodness for trailers of shit I have no interest in watching unless it is on mute for no reason other than that I’m an unsupportive asshole and hate cock tease….It’s like show us your vagina bitch or fuck off….fetish maid uniforms are better than regular clothes but nothing beats naked and spread eagled…

Posted in:Petra Nemcova

2008

25

Sep

Petra Nemcova Dresses Like a Dude of the Day

This summer, I got conned into going to a waterpark with my neighbor and his kids because he was willing to pay and I was willing to check out girls in bikinis. I am not one for getting into a bathing suit or going on rides because I find them too labor intensive. You have to walk up stairs with your tube, and walking is something I don’t consider a necessity in having a good time, so I just sat by the wave pool and would try to convince hot mom’s to reenact the Tsunami with me. I’d be like, you play Petra Nemcova and I’ll play her photographer boyfriend and when a wave comes, I want you to run out of the pool and pose like you’re a model, then fake cry, start a charity and attend these glamorous events for the next 2 years and I’ll just stay behind and die. Needless to say, it wasn’t a big hit.

Posted in:Dude|Petra Nemcova

2008

04

Aug

Petra Nemcova is a Slut of the Day

I think it’s a little soon for Petra Nemcova to be out making out with some guy, considering it was just 3 and a half years ago when her boyfriend at the time got swept away byt the great wave. Call me old school, but there’s just something really special about seeing a widowed Italian woman who spends the last 25 years of her life wearing black from head to toe because her husband died. It’s that kind of loyalty that makes me trust marriage, because you know that the husband would be turning in his grave if his woman was gallivanting her vagina around town to deal with her lonliness.

Sure you can argue that Petra wasn’t married, that she was young and that her boyfriend would want her to get on with her life, but those are just excuses that justify her being a slut and rubbing it all in our faces with this public display from a couple weeks ago.

Posted in:Petra Nemcova

2008

23

May

Petra Nemcova’s Got Some Big Aids Tits of the Day

Petra Nemcova brought her tits out to an Aids charity because she knows the one thing people with Aids want to see is a hot set of tits they can’t fuck because girls like Petra don’t like having sex with dude’s who have Aids. Not to mention most dudes with Aids are gay and those who aren’t are for the most part stuck banging the ex-heroin addict crackwhores no one wants because hot put together chicks Aids are hard to find.

Not that Petra really needs to worry because no one with Aids will actually be at the event. Their disease just funded it for celebrities to show off how much they care and probably cost millions of dollars to produce all paid for with money donated to the chairty that would probably be better suited going to the cause than throwing parties for people who don’t eve have Aids, but do have a lot of unprotected sex. I guess it’s because celebrities don’t want to go to Aids parties with Aids patients because it’s a bad look for them, even though someone like Petra is from the Czech, which probably has the highest Aids rate in Europe since it’s got a pretty heavy sex and porn trade goin’ down there.

Either way, here are her tits.

Posted in:cleavage|Petra Nemcova|Tits

2007

13

Nov

I am – Petra Nemcova’s Doing Good in Haiti of the Day

petra_nemcova_haiti4.jpg

I’ve decided that Haiti is my kind of country. Not because I am black or because I speak their obscure language, or because I am a taxi driver, but because motherfucker’s are poor and I feel like it’s a place I could feel like Kanye West on my wife’s disability check.

Either way, they recruit a hot washed up model to do charity because she’s only washed up from being caught in the Tsunami and shit killed her boyfriend, it’s pretty obvious that she’s still got it going on in a mail bride kinda way, unlike me, which is why I’d do good in Haiti. I feel like they’d appreciate my work ethic.

I was lookin’ at the pics of Petra Nemcova propped up so everyone could see her hot Eastern European ass pretending to support them, because it’s a good PR move for her celebrity and they are using collapsable chairs as the stage because that’s how classy Haiti is. It’s more ghetto than the shit I used to sit on in AA and broke through because I am fat, or the milk crate I use as a desk, or the box I use as my dinning room table next to my stained mattress I found outside 2 summers ago.

Either way, it’s nice to see her supporting black people with her charity that she started, I am sure more black people will bust nut thinking of her than ever before and there nothing wrong with using your money for good, because I know, if I ever had money, I’d only help myself get more drunk than I already do and on a more regular basis while sitting on a beach surrounded by hookers, but I’m just not a good of a person and karma likes to remind me of that every chance it gets, by never giving me money to get drunk on beaches with hookers….


Related Posts:

Petra Nemcova is Cleopatra on Halloween
Petra Nemcova’s Upskirt
Petra Nemcova’s Got Some Hot Naked Tits
Petra Nemcova’s Got Hot Clothed Tits

Posted in:Legs|Petra Nemcova|Short Skirt|Unsorted

2007

01

Nov

I am – Petra Nemcova is Cleopatra of the Day

petra_nemcova_halloween_top.jpg

You’d think Petra Nemcova would have dressed like a mail-order bride, but I guess since she was saved from the Eastern European sex trade by American modeling agencies she thinks she can get away with denouncing her birthright and I always hate when people get big and pretend they weren’t who they were in their past.

The other day I saw a hooker I used to roll with and she pretended she didn’t remember me. She was young and took a few wrong turns, but by the time she was 21 pulled it together, went to school, got a job and is now married to some rich dude and has some kind of rockin’ career that allows her to drive her kids to Starbucks in a Range Rover. I am an asshole and like to call people on that shit, maybe it’s cuz I am bitter that I am still living the same shitty lifestyle and it makes me feel better to let people know I know they are living a lie. So I walked up to her and said what’s up, she pretended she didn’t know who I was at first, but then I dropped her name and said how I knew her. She tried to blow shit off like it was a long time ago and a lot has changed and kept trying to change the subject, but I was persistent and kept telling her she should write a movie about it. Apparently, her husband and her social circle have no idea what she was up to when she was 19, but I do.

That said, Petra Nemcova will always be a mail-order bride in my eyes, she’s just way too expensive for my blood, but you can take a girl out of the human sex trade, but you can’t take the human sex trade out of girl. At least that’s my theory….and I am sticking to it. On a side note, I just won employee of the month over here at DrunkenStepfather.com so it’s a big day for me and my colleagues that include me.


Related Posts:

Petra Nemcova’s Huge Tits Hug Black People
Petra Nemcova Hails a Taxi
Petra Nemcova Upskirt Action
Petra Nemcova’s Hot Tits

Posted in:Cleopatra|Halloween|Petra Nemcova|Tits|Unsorted

2007

11

Oct

I am – Petra Nemcova’s Tits Hugs Black People of the Day

petra_nemcova_black_people.jpg

Here are some pictures of Petra Nemcova hugging Denzel Washington or Wesley Sinpes or Kanye West or whoever the fuck this is because I am not good at recognizing people, not because all black people look the same, you fucking racist.

I am trying this new thing called obvious joke, but I don’t think it’s going to work out too well for me, because I am not funny. So I guess I’ll stop it now. I got fucking tanked last night without realizing it. I was doing tequila shots like a good Mexican for a homies birthday and I was dropping what I thought was gold, and by gold I mean my pants. People weren’t laughing at the shit I was saying and I realized that I have no future in stand-up. I am not going to pressure myself to bring back the funny, you can just keep coming back to watch me slowly drowning in my own vomit.


Related Posts:

Petra Nemcova Upskirt Pictures
Petra Nemcova Topless and Body Painted Pictures
Petra Nemcova Hearts Brown People
Petra Nemcova and James Blunt On the Beach in Bikinis…Well She’s in The Bikini…

Posted in:Black People|cleavage|Petra Nemcova|Unsorted

2007

11

Oct

I am – Petra Nemcova's Tits Hugs Black People of the Day

petra_nemcova_black_people.jpg

Here are some pictures of Petra Nemcova hugging Denzel Washington or Wesley Sinpes or Kanye West or whoever the fuck this is because I am not good at recognizing people, not because all black people look the same, you fucking racist.

I am trying this new thing called obvious joke, but I don’t think it’s going to work out too well for me, because I am not funny. So I guess I’ll stop it now. I got fucking tanked last night without realizing it. I was doing tequila shots like a good Mexican for a homies birthday and I was dropping what I thought was gold, and by gold I mean my pants. People weren’t laughing at the shit I was saying and I realized that I have no future in stand-up. I am not going to pressure myself to bring back the funny, you can just keep coming back to watch me slowly drowning in my own vomit.


Related Posts:

Petra Nemcova Upskirt Pictures
Petra Nemcova Topless and Body Painted Pictures
Petra Nemcova Hearts Brown People
Petra Nemcova and James Blunt On the Beach in Bikinis…Well She’s in The Bikini…

Posted in:Black People|cleavage|Petra Nemcova|Unsorted