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Archive for the Petra Nemcova Category

2007

13

Nov

I am – Petra Nemcova’s Doing Good in Haiti of the Day

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I’ve decided that Haiti is my kind of country. Not because I am black or because I speak their obscure language, or because I am a taxi driver, but because motherfucker’s are poor and I feel like it’s a place I could feel like Kanye West on my wife’s disability check.

Either way, they recruit a hot washed up model to do charity because she’s only washed up from being caught in the Tsunami and shit killed her boyfriend, it’s pretty obvious that she’s still got it going on in a mail bride kinda way, unlike me, which is why I’d do good in Haiti. I feel like they’d appreciate my work ethic.

I was lookin’ at the pics of Petra Nemcova propped up so everyone could see her hot Eastern European ass pretending to support them, because it’s a good PR move for her celebrity and they are using collapsable chairs as the stage because that’s how classy Haiti is. It’s more ghetto than the shit I used to sit on in AA and broke through because I am fat, or the milk crate I use as a desk, or the box I use as my dinning room table next to my stained mattress I found outside 2 summers ago.

Either way, it’s nice to see her supporting black people with her charity that she started, I am sure more black people will bust nut thinking of her than ever before and there nothing wrong with using your money for good, because I know, if I ever had money, I’d only help myself get more drunk than I already do and on a more regular basis while sitting on a beach surrounded by hookers, but I’m just not a good of a person and karma likes to remind me of that every chance it gets, by never giving me money to get drunk on beaches with hookers….


Related Posts:

Petra Nemcova is Cleopatra on Halloween
Petra Nemcova’s Upskirt
Petra Nemcova’s Got Some Hot Naked Tits
Petra Nemcova’s Got Hot Clothed Tits

Posted in:Legs|Petra Nemcova|Short Skirt|Unsorted

2007

01

Nov

I am – Petra Nemcova is Cleopatra of the Day

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You’d think Petra Nemcova would have dressed like a mail-order bride, but I guess since she was saved from the Eastern European sex trade by American modeling agencies she thinks she can get away with denouncing her birthright and I always hate when people get big and pretend they weren’t who they were in their past.

The other day I saw a hooker I used to roll with and she pretended she didn’t remember me. She was young and took a few wrong turns, but by the time she was 21 pulled it together, went to school, got a job and is now married to some rich dude and has some kind of rockin’ career that allows her to drive her kids to Starbucks in a Range Rover. I am an asshole and like to call people on that shit, maybe it’s cuz I am bitter that I am still living the same shitty lifestyle and it makes me feel better to let people know I know they are living a lie. So I walked up to her and said what’s up, she pretended she didn’t know who I was at first, but then I dropped her name and said how I knew her. She tried to blow shit off like it was a long time ago and a lot has changed and kept trying to change the subject, but I was persistent and kept telling her she should write a movie about it. Apparently, her husband and her social circle have no idea what she was up to when she was 19, but I do.

That said, Petra Nemcova will always be a mail-order bride in my eyes, she’s just way too expensive for my blood, but you can take a girl out of the human sex trade, but you can’t take the human sex trade out of girl. At least that’s my theory….and I am sticking to it. On a side note, I just won employee of the month over here at DrunkenStepfather.com so it’s a big day for me and my colleagues that include me.


Related Posts:

Petra Nemcova’s Huge Tits Hug Black People
Petra Nemcova Hails a Taxi
Petra Nemcova Upskirt Action
Petra Nemcova’s Hot Tits

Posted in:Cleopatra|Halloween|Petra Nemcova|Tits|Unsorted

2007

11

Oct

I am – Petra Nemcova's Tits Hugs Black People of the Day

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Here are some pictures of Petra Nemcova hugging Denzel Washington or Wesley Sinpes or Kanye West or whoever the fuck this is because I am not good at recognizing people, not because all black people look the same, you fucking racist.

I am trying this new thing called obvious joke, but I don’t think it’s going to work out too well for me, because I am not funny. So I guess I’ll stop it now. I got fucking tanked last night without realizing it. I was doing tequila shots like a good Mexican for a homies birthday and I was dropping what I thought was gold, and by gold I mean my pants. People weren’t laughing at the shit I was saying and I realized that I have no future in stand-up. I am not going to pressure myself to bring back the funny, you can just keep coming back to watch me slowly drowning in my own vomit.


Related Posts:

Petra Nemcova Upskirt Pictures
Petra Nemcova Topless and Body Painted Pictures
Petra Nemcova Hearts Brown People
Petra Nemcova and James Blunt On the Beach in Bikinis…Well She’s in The Bikini…

Posted in:Black People|cleavage|Petra Nemcova|Unsorted

2007

11

Oct

I am – Petra Nemcova’s Tits Hugs Black People of the Day

petra_nemcova_black_people.jpg

Here are some pictures of Petra Nemcova hugging Denzel Washington or Wesley Sinpes or Kanye West or whoever the fuck this is because I am not good at recognizing people, not because all black people look the same, you fucking racist.

I am trying this new thing called obvious joke, but I don’t think it’s going to work out too well for me, because I am not funny. So I guess I’ll stop it now. I got fucking tanked last night without realizing it. I was doing tequila shots like a good Mexican for a homies birthday and I was dropping what I thought was gold, and by gold I mean my pants. People weren’t laughing at the shit I was saying and I realized that I have no future in stand-up. I am not going to pressure myself to bring back the funny, you can just keep coming back to watch me slowly drowning in my own vomit.


Related Posts:

Petra Nemcova Upskirt Pictures
Petra Nemcova Topless and Body Painted Pictures
Petra Nemcova Hearts Brown People
Petra Nemcova and James Blunt On the Beach in Bikinis…Well She’s in The Bikini…

Posted in:Black People|cleavage|Petra Nemcova|Unsorted

2007

05

Oct

I am – Petra Nemcova Hail's a Cab of the Day

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I like going to Starbucks and positioning my shitty lap top so everyone around me can see what I am doing on my computer. Then I look for some seriously fucked up porn clips, pull out a notebook and notes on the shit like I am Siskel and Ebert, before Siskel died.

I usually do it during the day when the only people in the place are old ladies, new mothers and ready to drop knocked up bitches bored on maternity leave. They are my audience, I figure those sluts know this shit better than most, but that’s just because they’re packin the proof with their old age and post-pregnancy weight.

I’ve been kicked out a few times for being inappropriate, but for the most part people just look the other way in disgust and don’t bother complaining. I don’t know why I get a kick out of it, I guess I just like being around people who are of a normal weight and this is the best way to make new friends without actually having to put myself out there and introduce myself. Reality is, that strategy doesn’t work out so well.

Speaking of not working out so well, here are some pictures of Petra Nemcova communing with regular people by taking a taxi like she couldn’t afford her own driver, but is easily impressed because she’s from communism and in communist Russia, getting a ride on your neighbor’s son’s back was considered luxury.


Related Posts:

Petra Nemcova Upskirt is Better than Rationed Bread and Rationed Bread is Awesome
Petra Nemcova’s Got Some Topless Tits
Petra Nemcova’s Got Some Hot Tits Gettin Out of a Cab
Petra Nemcova Hearts Turbans

Posted in:Hot|Model|Petra Nemcova|Taxi|Unsorted

2007

05

Oct

I am – Petra Nemcova Hail’s a Cab of the Day

petra_nemcova_taxi.jpg

I like going to Starbucks and positioning my shitty lap top so everyone around me can see what I am doing on my computer. Then I look for some seriously fucked up porn clips, pull out a notebook and notes on the shit like I am Siskel and Ebert, before Siskel died.

I usually do it during the day when the only people in the place are old ladies, new mothers and ready to drop knocked up bitches bored on maternity leave. They are my audience, I figure those sluts know this shit better than most, but that’s just because they’re packin the proof with their old age and post-pregnancy weight.

I’ve been kicked out a few times for being inappropriate, but for the most part people just look the other way in disgust and don’t bother complaining. I don’t know why I get a kick out of it, I guess I just like being around people who are of a normal weight and this is the best way to make new friends without actually having to put myself out there and introduce myself. Reality is, that strategy doesn’t work out so well.

Speaking of not working out so well, here are some pictures of Petra Nemcova communing with regular people by taking a taxi like she couldn’t afford her own driver, but is easily impressed because she’s from communism and in communist Russia, getting a ride on your neighbor’s son’s back was considered luxury.


Related Posts:

Petra Nemcova Upskirt is Better than Rationed Bread and Rationed Bread is Awesome
Petra Nemcova’s Got Some Topless Tits
Petra Nemcova’s Got Some Hot Tits Gettin Out of a Cab
Petra Nemcova Hearts Turbans

Posted in:Hot|Model|Petra Nemcova|Taxi|Unsorted

2007

19

Sep

I am – Petra Nemcova Upskirt Pictures of the Day

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I saw these pictures last night but was too lazy to post them. I was all about doing it in the morning when I woke up, unfortunately the morning became 2 pm and then after folding laundry and doing dishes I finally get to them. The reason I am folding laundry and doing dishes isn’t because I am the bitch of the household. It’s not because I am neat. I do it out of necessity because shit fucking smells really fucking bad and I can stomach bad smells for a couple of weeks but when they turn really fucking bad I start to think my life is in danger, and despite being aware of my sucking at life, I still like to live it or drive it into the ground. Being poisoned by my wife’s panty stains isn’t really how I want to go. However, being poisoned by Petra Nemcova’s panties is a definite better option and I know that shit is deadly cuz that serial player to the stars Stavros got a piece.

Sometimes I wonder how many dudes some of these girls have bagged. I remember being 20 years old and meeting a 20 year old girl who had banged 30 dudes and I was kinda shocked and grossed out because she wasn’t a hooker and most girls I knew had only been with 10 or less because they were just starting out. She was the first regular girl and I got skeptical about cumming inside without a condom, but figured she’d know what to do if she got knocked up because she had experience in the situation, like hiring an ex cop to find out if your wife is cheating on you, not that I would do that, if my wife was cheating on me, I’d buy the dude a drink and thank him for taking her off my hands, figuratively of course, because if she was on my hands literally, I wouldn’t be able to type this shit because all my finger’s be broke.

Here are the upskirts for you. Asshole.


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Petra Nemcova Body Painted Tits Pictures
Petra Nemcova’s Hot Tits Pictures
Petra Nemcova Loves Turbans
Petra Nemcova’s Bikini Pictures With James Blunt cuz He Keeps Telling Me I am Beautiful

Posted in:cleavage|Model|Panties|Petra Nemcova|Tits|Unsorted|Upskirt

2007

11

Jul

I am – Petra Nemcova Body Painting of the Day

Petra Nemcova Bodypainting

Marie-Eve here, again. Apparently Jesus’ computer is on the fritz, so I’m gonna be doing the posts a tad early while hes getting ready for his Cruise. I’ve been getting some lovely emails from some of you and also some that are pretty creepy, but keep them coming, I love it!! stepdaughter@drunkenstepfather.com

Here’s some pics of Petra Nemcova and some other lucky, lucky person messing around with some body paint, which I guess is what super models do when they aren’t at fashion shoots on tropical islands, going to swanky parties, and having sex with millionaires.

They have this sort of outdoor festival where I live every Sunday, and its always filled with a bunch of old and young hippies, plus a few normal people that go up there just for the hell of it. You’ll always see a good amount of idiots playing the drums, blowing bubbles and dancing in circles and urging you to join in on the love fest. The last time I was up there, there was a bunch of them body painting each other, and of course one thing led to another and a few of the girls took their tops off to let some of the guys (who looked like the forest had just thrown them up) paint their tits.

As always, it wasn’t the hott looking pixie hippies that chose to undress, but the fat, unshaven, pasty white ones instead. Why does it always go down like like? Can some one explain it to me, please? Why is it that the most disgusting people are always the ones that are the most comfortable with themselves? Anyone?

Here’s some shots of Petra to ease the pain of people who don’t know how to cover up.

Posted in:Models|Paint|Petra Nemcova|Tits|Uncategorized|Unsorted

2007

13

Jun

I am – Petra Nemcova Topless Body Painted of the Day

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Here are some Petra Nemcova topless on the runway body painted pictures.

If I was an art student in college this would be my career goal. When all the pansy artist hippie motherfuckers with their potluck dinners, ratty thrift store clothes and bohemian trying hard to live the artist way cocksuckers would try to get all introspective and analytical on my airbrushed canvases of flames, a bikini, a t-shirt and every other thing I’ve seen airbrushed on a bitch, I’d just look at them, smile and say “art fag, i am going to be a body painter while your living in an artist loft smoking opium your rich art school friend bought with their daddy’s credit card, I’m going to be turning pussies into a pair of fucking boy shorts”….knowing that when that loser has dreams of being the next Picasso, I’ll have the best excuse to stare a hot chick’s naked without looking creepy. Fuck romantic idealistic bullshit when you’ve got smut that you can pretend isn’t smut by claiming it’s art…..

I don’t really know where I am going with this, but becoming an air brush body painter is a weird fucking life goal but I am glad someone’s doing it, because it motivates chicks to get naked and anything that motivates chicks to get naked motivates me to look at them get naked and remember – there’s nothing wrong with wearing pants that look like white trash beer drinking RV Camping beach towels.

Posted in:Body Painting|Petra Nemcova|Runway|Tits|Topless|Uncategorized|Unsorted