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Archive for the Reese Witherspoon Category

2011

19

Aug

Reese Witherspoon Beach pictures of the Day

I don’t have the right to post the Reese Witherspoon picture, but I figure I did a good job with the dramatization / artist rendition I decided to run with, because no matter how much she runs, she’s always got the body of a mom of 4 who likes cookies way too much…but for some reason, I assume based on horniness and the viagra…I took this morning that forced me to walk around hard and sore testicled all day….That must beit…cuz there’s no way I’d ever jerk off to this pig…except maybe today….fuck you pervert inside me who makes me want to fuck everything that moves….

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Posted in:Reese Witherspoon

2011

15

Aug

Reese Witherspoon’s Naughty Uterus Tattoo of the Day

A couple of weeks ago I was talking about Reese Witherspoon getting married a second time like a good little Christian who goes to church and has sex out of wedlock cuz she’s actually bullshit as all actors are.. enough to get knocked up, leaving her no choice but to get married to make the whole thing as authentic as her slutty uterus tattoo all lesbian dolphin hugging….

So it’s only natural that I’ve been craving to see pics of her in a bikini to really embrace her sloppy body and take it all in in one massive question mark when compared to how many pics I’ve posted of her compulsively jogging for the press so that we don’t call her out for being a chubby piggy girl…

So my dreams have been answered, cuz middle aged moms who may be pregnant in bikinis are my dream….but I’ve never been one for having big dreams…if anything my dreams have been pretty low level bottom feeder….so it all makes sense…

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2011

13

Jul

Reese Witherspoon is Probably Pregnant of the Day

I don’t care that Reese Witherspoon is pregnant, cuz I don’t give a fuck about Reese Witherspoon. She’s totally overrated…

Not to mention, I could have told you these breeding cunt from the heartland was pregnant back when she got re-married, if I bothered paying attention that she got remarried, cuz these Christian freaks all do the whole shotgum wedding as to not be judged and sent to hell…despite us all knowing hell is where she belongs for being so irritating….

Not to mention, I stopped noticing her when she was the fat girl on Cruel Intentions who trapped the heartthrob by getting her slut pussy knocked up, leading to her becoming a baby factory…..

She’s dull, she’s just a fat chick who jogs to not be a fat chick, I can tell by her face, and fat chicks never deserve this kind of celebrity, cuz fat chick is a state of fucking mind motherfucker…one that belongs alone and suicidal….or doing salsa lessons and online dating, hoping a dude will accidentally drop load in you so you too can be a Reese Witherspoon….only her KKK ass would never go black…and you’re limited in your options…If you know what I mean….

Posted in:Reese Witherspoon

2011

05

Jul

Reese Witherspoon Unfortunate Bikini Bottoms of the Day

I normally have a white bikini fetish. I think it is cuz I was once at a pool and a hot 18 or 19 year old was walking around, inches from my face, fully see through, rocking a bald, coinslot, inny vagina….and since then…has made me seek the white bikini…like it was some forbidden fruit I had a taste of….but today….all that ended…cuz Reese Witherspoon had to prove that sometimes a white bikini bottom isn’t as pornographic as it was meant to be…or as you always thought it was….

I can just be thankful that she’s wearing a shirt…cuz sometimes your bikini top doesn’t cover up your ravaged stretch marks from all your breeding you 40 year old overrated pig….she’s halfway there…all she needs is a pair of pants and we’re good…and remember, I’m a pervert who wishes all women were half naked at all times….

The real weird thing about Reese Witherspoon, I mean other than that she’s tricked the world into thinking she’s anything but a chubby pigfaced bitch who traps dudes with her uterus, cuz she’s a good christian southern girl, is that she’s always jogging…I mean ALWAYS fucking jogging…yet she still has an like this? I mean where the fuck did all that jogging go?

Either way, here is her ass being all American….

Posted in:Reese Witherspoon

2011

11

Apr

Reese Witherspoon and her Fat Manager for Vogue of the Day

The things girls do to make themselves look skinny, you know hoping that all their jogging despite all their cake eating, really paid off…

I see it all the time when I go out drinking…the hot chick surrounded by pigs in hopes of making them seem hotter…I know that scene all too well cuz for some reason I always end up with the “Fat Managers”, cuz it’s the one night the hotter chick decides to give them some male attention cuz they are tired of hearing their fat asses cry at the end of the night about how none of the boys talk to them….unless it is to get to her…you know what I’m saying, I don’t really need to write anymore…

I’ll just post the pics of pig Witherspoon trying to look fit by posing with a fucking elephant. Enjoy.

Posted in:Reese Witherspoon

2011

04

Apr

Reese Witherspoon on the cover of Elle UK in a One Piece of the Day

Reese Witherspoon is on of those chicks who other chicks really find hot but who leaves guys wondering what the fuck all they hype is about. It’s like sure she’s not horrible looking, sure, she’s horrible cuz she trapped her first husband by being horrible and getting knocked up, like insecure doughy girls have done for decades before her, and she’s horrible with all her church going Southern bullshit, and she’s horrible for being seen jogging all the time, but always managing to stay fat and sloppy like she’s had one too many biscuits…down at the plantation house…

Here she is on the cover of Elle UK, in a one piece, even when she should be wearing pants, where I am sure she talked a whole lot of bullshit about her relationships and recent marriages, cuz that’s just the kind of useless twat starving for attention but not starving at all, she is…. if you know what you mean…FOLLOW ME

Posted in:Reese Witherspoon

2011

15

Mar

Reese Witherspoon is a Monster Without Makeup On of the Day

Lovely.

I never wondered why Ryan Philippe escaped this monster….and now you don’t have to either, in the event you are one of those weirdos who thought this bitch was hot, cuz maybe you have low standards, or maybe she reminds you of her weathered, hard working, tired mom or some shit, but I’ve always seen the truth, she fucked Philippe on set, and got knocked up and used him to knock her up 10 more times cuz he’s a nice guy like that, but nice only goes so far… I didn’t need her out without movie magic make-up to figure out the mystery of why she was famous or even why she was some sort of sex symbol to some real weird people, I knew it was all great high budget marketing and PR….

Take this picture in, cuz it’s a lot of picture to process. Seriously. This is disgusting, scary and amazing all at the same time.


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Posted in:Reese Witherspoon

2011

25

Feb

Reese Witherspoon Mom Ass in Whore Boots in Tight Pants of the Day

Here’s the ass Ryan Phillipe gave up to fuck substantially hotter pussy. He clearly made the right decision…

I figure I should just put these pictures up to remind a motherfucker if you’ve ever been trapped by a porky bitch who you accidentally knocked up when working together, you don’t have to play hero and be a good guy and responsible father, you can put the bitch in her place and move the fuck onto hotter younger pussy without any remorse…cuz you gotta remember bitch trapped you in the first place to begin with and there’s nothing decent about kidnappin’….especially when she used your sperm against you…

A more important question to ask yourself about this Reese Witherspoon is whether or not she’s inserted her Oscar she didn’t deserver inside her mom pussy, like this crazy Catholic girl I used to fuck used to do with her Mother Mary statue and if so does she use a condom or is she into the cold metal cuz it makes her feel alive….

Posted in:Reese Witherspoon

2011

13

Jan

Reese Witherspoon Helps the Homeless When the Paparazzi is Watching of the Day

It’s always nice to see a celebrity reaching out to help less fortunate people when they know the paparazzi are taking pictures of them, you know to let the world know they aren’t greedy shallow cunt you’d expect them to be, I mean she looks so natural in these pictures, she looks so comfortable, like she’s with an old buddy and not like she’s about to get raped by hepatitis dick…

Hollywood is bullshit…I wouldn’t be surprised if this dude was a hired actor to help her with her image….

Not that it matters…

Posted in:Reese Witherspoon

2011

04

Jan

Reese Witherspoon is Jogging in Tight Pants of the Day

Personally, I prefer my ladies to ne too weak to run. You know, it makes seducing them a lot easier, you know it lets you really take what is rightfully yours cuz they can’t escape kind of thing….I also prefer my women to not be sloppy looking baby factories with bloated Downs Syndrome lookin’ faces in their early 40s.

So I guess these pictures really aren’t quite for me but instead for the hundreds of idiots who think Reese Witherspoon is anything but the Miss Piggy she looks like…

Posted in:Reese Witherspoon

2010

26

Oct

Reese Witherspoon Showing Off Legs of the Day

You know it’s a boring day when you find yourself sitting outside the grocery store watching mom’s shop through the window then seeing them walking to their cars with their bags…and being rudely disturbed by the security guard because you’ve been there for 6 hours cuz you don’t want to go home and this is more interesting than anything else you can think of doing on a Saturday…..Well, these are the picture version of that. It’s like some leg is all the excitment you get in your miserbale existance….and that le isnt even worth wanting to mount on your perver wall in your head after you’re done thinking dirty thoughts about her cuz she won’t actually fuck you cuz you’re the creepy guy always on that bench…hell, she won’t even let you help her with her bags cuz she’s scared you’re going to rob, rape, kidnap her thanks to all the other migrant looking motherfuckers who ruined it for the good ones….

Here’s Reese Witherspoon fuckin’ suckin and not in a good way.

Posted in:Reese Witherspoon

2009

16

Jun

Reese Witherspoon’s Got Herself a Black Slave of the Day

I guess it’s coded into her genetics that she as a Southern girl she needs herself a negro to do her dirty work for her, it’s just the way it’s been year after year. This looks like some moderate slave work, you know she makes the bitch run against her and lose on purpose, because you all know a fat white chick can’t really win a speed race with a black girl of any level of fitness, and this whole victory walk looks lke some best friend shit on the surface, but trust me, behind closed doors, one of these bitches is getting whipped into compliance and it’s not the blonde Academy Award winner. Trust me on that one.

Posted in:Reese Witherspoon|Running

2009

28

May

Reese Witherspoon Practices Softball for a Movie Not For Lesbianism of the Day

I wonder if Reese Witherspoon took her role in Legally Blonde as seriously as she is for this softball movie, where she, like other lesbians I know, is training hard.

I don’t really get the appeal of softball. There’s a league that plays near my house and sometimes I walk by them and see if there is any decent pussy or asses, usually there isn’t. One of the teams is a group of bull dykes and the other one I saw was a group of awkward, non-athletic jewish women who I guess are unmarried career girls, who are done with college and trying to find ways to entertain themselves and stay connected with old friends, and the whole thing is pretty fucking boring to watch, so I assume a movie on the shit, starring Academy Award winning Reese Witherspoon is going to fuckin suck.

Here she is practicing.

Posted in:Reese Witherspoon|Softball

2009

20

Apr

Reese Witherspoon Does Some Softball Training of the Day

This one is for the dudes who don’t want to admit they like dudes. You know the kind of guy who spends their weekends watching baseball, telling concerned family and friends, that this obsession is because it is America’s national sport and represents everything American’s stand for (being lazy), when in reality they are watching the shit for the tight pants.

You know this way you can watch Reese Witherspoon pull all your favorites moves and jerk off to it like you want to jerk off the MLB, but can’t because it’ll mean you’re gay, but doing it to Reese Witherspoon just means you have no fucking taste.

I am also posting it because I like the way she looks like she’s catching her mom-tit while getting dirt kicked up in her face like she wasn’t practicing for a part in a movie like she was Rosie O’Donnell, but was practicing to be treated like the worthless whore she is. Amazing.

Posted in:Athlete|Reese Witherspoon|Softball

2009

07

Jan

Reese Witherspoon’s Mom Ass Fighting The Fat of the Day

Reese Witherspoon is constantly out fighting her her obvious fate as a fat Southern mom and grandma, by the looks of these pictures of her working out, her ass is winning. Kinda like her vagina won in the fight to lock Ryan Phillippe down by getting pregnant during a drunken hook up while on the Cruel Intentions set, but they aren’t together now, and either is her new boyfriend and his one true love Heath Ledger, so I guess things that aren’t meant to be just find a way to not be, and soon she’ll be trading in these workout pants in for a pair of elastic band jeans from the plus sized store but not to work out in, just to walk around in, because that’s what happens when they don’t make clothes in your size. Just ask my wife..

Posted in:Mom Ass|Reese Witherspoon|Spandex|Workout