I normally have a white bikini fetish. I think it is cuz I was once at a pool and a hot 18 or 19 year old was walking around, inches from my face, fully see through, rocking a bald, coinslot, inny vagina….and since then…has made me seek the white bikini…like it was some forbidden fruit I had a taste of….but today….all that ended…cuz Reese Witherspoon had to prove that sometimes a white bikini bottom isn’t as pornographic as it was meant to be…or as you always thought it was….

I can just be thankful that she’s wearing a shirt…cuz sometimes your bikini top doesn’t cover up your ravaged stretch marks from all your breeding you 40 year old overrated pig….she’s halfway there…all she needs is a pair of pants and we’re good…and remember, I’m a pervert who wishes all women were half naked at all times….

The real weird thing about Reese Witherspoon, I mean other than that she’s tricked the world into thinking she’s anything but a chubby pigfaced bitch who traps dudes with her uterus, cuz she’s a good christian southern girl, is that she’s always jogging…I mean ALWAYS fucking jogging…yet she still has an like this? I mean where the fuck did all that jogging go?

Either way, here is her ass being all American….

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The things girls do to make themselves look skinny, you know hoping that all their jogging despite all their cake eating, really paid off…

I see it all the time when I go out drinking…the hot chick surrounded by pigs in hopes of making them seem hotter…I know that scene all too well cuz for some reason I always end up with the “Fat Managers”, cuz it’s the one night the hotter chick decides to give them some male attention cuz they are tired of hearing their fat asses cry at the end of the night about how none of the boys talk to them….unless it is to get to her…you know what I’m saying, I don’t really need to write anymore…

I’ll just post the pics of pig Witherspoon trying to look fit by posing with a fucking elephant. Enjoy.

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Reese Witherspoon is on of those chicks who other chicks really find hot but who leaves guys wondering what the fuck all they hype is about. It’s like sure she’s not horrible looking, sure, she’s horrible cuz she trapped her first husband by being horrible and getting knocked up, like insecure doughy girls have done for decades before her, and she’s horrible with all her church going Southern bullshit, and she’s horrible for being seen jogging all the time, but always managing to stay fat and sloppy like she’s had one too many biscuits…down at the plantation house…

Here she is on the cover of Elle UK, in a one piece, even when she should be wearing pants, where I am sure she talked a whole lot of bullshit about her relationships and recent marriages, cuz that’s just the kind of useless twat starving for attention but not starving at all, she is…. if you know what you mean…FOLLOW ME

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Lovely.

I never wondered why Ryan Philippe escaped this monster….and now you don’t have to either, in the event you are one of those weirdos who thought this bitch was hot, cuz maybe you have low standards, or maybe she reminds you of her weathered, hard working, tired mom or some shit, but I’ve always seen the truth, she fucked Philippe on set, and got knocked up and used him to knock her up 10 more times cuz he’s a nice guy like that, but nice only goes so far… I didn’t need her out without movie magic make-up to figure out the mystery of why she was famous or even why she was some sort of sex symbol to some real weird people, I knew it was all great high budget marketing and PR….

Take this picture in, cuz it’s a lot of picture to process. Seriously. This is disgusting, scary and amazing all at the same time.

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Here’s the ass Ryan Phillipe gave up to fuck substantially hotter pussy. He clearly made the right decision…

I figure I should just put these pictures up to remind a motherfucker if you’ve ever been trapped by a porky bitch who you accidentally knocked up when working together, you don’t have to play hero and be a good guy and responsible father, you can put the bitch in her place and move the fuck onto hotter younger pussy without any remorse…cuz you gotta remember bitch trapped you in the first place to begin with and there’s nothing decent about kidnappin’….especially when she used your sperm against you…

A more important question to ask yourself about this Reese Witherspoon is whether or not she’s inserted her Oscar she didn’t deserver inside her mom pussy, like this crazy Catholic girl I used to fuck used to do with her Mother Mary statue and if so does she use a condom or is she into the cold metal cuz it makes her feel alive….

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It’s always nice to see a celebrity reaching out to help less fortunate people when they know the paparazzi are taking pictures of them, you know to let the world know they aren’t greedy shallow cunt you’d expect them to be, I mean she looks so natural in these pictures, she looks so comfortable, like she’s with an old buddy and not like she’s about to get raped by hepatitis dick…

Hollywood is bullshit…I wouldn’t be surprised if this dude was a hired actor to help her with her image….

Not that it matters…

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Personally, I prefer my ladies to ne too weak to run. You know, it makes seducing them a lot easier, you know it lets you really take what is rightfully yours cuz they can’t escape kind of thing….I also prefer my women to not be sloppy looking baby factories with bloated Downs Syndrome lookin’ faces in their early 40s.

So I guess these pictures really aren’t quite for me but instead for the hundreds of idiots who think Reese Witherspoon is anything but the Miss Piggy she looks like…

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You know it’s a boring day when you find yourself sitting outside the grocery store watching mom’s shop through the window then seeing them walking to their cars with their bags…and being rudely disturbed by the security guard because you’ve been there for 6 hours cuz you don’t want to go home and this is more interesting than anything else you can think of doing on a Saturday…..Well, these are the picture version of that. It’s like some leg is all the excitment you get in your miserbale existance….and that le isnt even worth wanting to mount on your perver wall in your head after you’re done thinking dirty thoughts about her cuz she won’t actually fuck you cuz you’re the creepy guy always on that bench…hell, she won’t even let you help her with her bags cuz she’s scared you’re going to rob, rape, kidnap her thanks to all the other migrant looking motherfuckers who ruined it for the good ones….

Here’s Reese Witherspoon fuckin’ suckin and not in a good way.

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