Esquire chose Rihanna as their Sexiest Woman ALive 2011…..what? I know…

I have a pretty good feeling this sexiest woman alive shit is paid for…I mean I can think of at least a dozen bitches sexier than Rihanna…what brings her thickness to the top of the list…there is no way that this was objectively chosen….maybe she used her teen prostitute talents a Bajan guy told me he knows for a fact that she has…or maybe everyone else was busy…and seriously I get Rihanna, I see the way she gyrates on stage and I’m victim to her spell too….but I’d leave it at “one of the woman I’d like to fuck in 2011″….because we don’t need to be inflating egos here unnescessarily….cuz it’s obviously not fact and merely just a way to sell records and magazines…but still…I can’t figure out the basis for this at all…instead I’ll just look at the pics…and pretend she’s the hottest bitch…even though I know she should be working porn in America, not topping charts…some vooddoo shit happened and I will figure it out one day….it’s my life goal..

Here are the rest of her nude for Esquire’s fake award pics….

The sexiest woman alive, whoever you are, was robbed.

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The day is not complete unless there are pictures of Rihanna in concert wearing the same outfits she wore the last month of concerts..but this time squatting in the shitting stance, cuz shitting on stage when you’re a thick popstar is the theme of today’s Canadian thanksgiving….and let Rihanna be one of our mascots….

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Rihanna, the alleged teen prostitute from Barbados, who managed to leverage that into fame and fortune, who has finally decided she doesn’t like being a role model anymore, even though that paid all her fucking expenses and made her all this money….so she is tapping into her slutty roots, by testing the waters she’s already swam in, but it was another life ago, so now she’s taking it slow since she’s already on display everywhere…..and her self worth has always been evaluated by her naked or half nakedness…leading me to hope the slut actually blossoms into a slut and the sex tapes get released and until then, we’re just stuck with these bra flash pics and some shitty striptease videos for designer clothes and pretty much fucking on stage in her underwear every single concert…and since I’m easy to pleae, and I like seeing sluts find themself, this is good enough….if anything Rihanna is at her hottest now…

Here’s her Armani Short Striptease video……..

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Here’s Rihanna staying relevant by tapping into her roots…and I’m not talking her “island” roots…you know all Caribbean and hot dancing you’d see at your local Caribbean …more sexed up than boring Americans….I’m talking the local rumors, cuz I know people in Barbados, who say she was a 13 year old prositute seducing tourists at Karaoke bars on the island…which led to her career…It’s all speculation, but with moves like that, it’s gotta come for years of experience…and I’m glad this is being exposed to her teen fans, making school dances way better than they were when I was in school….Good work Rihanna. You’re a hero.

Here’s the video….

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I posted some of the stills from the RIHANNA IN HER UNDERWEAR FOR ARMANI JEANS campaign I assume she was paid a lot of money for, in what may be the only time a girl from the islands is making millions to get in their underwear, usually it’s just a couple hundred for the week, at least in the Dominican Republic…which I guess changes when bitch in question is a big fucking star…

Either way, to capitalize on paying all that money on her, they’re paying blogs to post this trailer….to generate some hype

Now, I am not one of those blogs getting paid, cuz I don’t make money at this, but anytime a bitch strips, I’m compelled to post it, even if it’s done as shitty as this…

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Rihanna is in Vogue UK, where she tells the world she hates being a role model, maybe because she’s a gully trashy bitch who likes getting her pussy filled when she’s not busy going mental on gay dudes so they lash out on the bitch, you know all horny and shit always rubbing her cunt on anything she can rub it on, as her biological clock is tickin’….all them Bajan girls are usually knocked up by 16, making Rihanna 10 years too late and a empty uterus leads to damage…now if only all those 12 year old girls weren’t making her millions of dollars, then she could do what she knows best, prostitution…what you think getting famous happens that easy for a girl in the islands….

Here are some recent concert pics…from her better unphotoshopped thick crotch heavy angle…

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Here’s Rihanna in concert showing a little skin…reminding me that I don’t really care about her recent weight gain, she still knows how to lure in an audience via being half naked…a lesson so many strippers before her already figured out….but in her defense, she’s not from these parts, she’s just managed to take over pop culture in these parts…all because her gay boyfriend beat her down…..and not for getting naked…like a normal bottom feeder….weird.

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This site has become the Rihanna show.

I am pretty sure her team of expert manipulators who have been responsible for all the buzz bitch is getting from doing one fucking photoshoot, are the best in the industry and set all this up intentionally…

I mean shit, I’ve done 4 posts on the shit and it hasn’t even been fucking shot yet and I hate Rihanna…It’s just the magic formula of show skin, create a fake scandal with some drunk farmer, then get topless, then put on some push up halter top that makes your average at best tits look awesome, and throw in a skirt in the wind so the world can see your spanx shot, and you’ve got all the media attention a money making tool from the Islands who is just happy to not be a chamber maid could want for something that hasn’teven hit yet…. This is why she’s famous.

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Rihanna in the field offending catholic farmers saga continues, only this time with uncovered tiopless shots that are so blurred that they might as well be of Big Foot coming to eat your children, which isn’t all that far from the truth of what’s actually in these pictures, but it’s be nicers if the Irish Paparazzi knew how to take a fucking picture as well as they know how to bag pipe and drink.

So here are some mystical images that could be doctored of what people are saying are Rihanna, but I just see a huge blurry body….which happens to be Rihanna looking her best…

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You may have heard that Rihanna was filming a video in Ireland and the farmer who owned the property they were filming on asked them to stop because it was too slutty for his Irish Catholic morals and values…which led him to question whether Rihanna has relationship with god, and if so, she needs to work on it, without realizing she obviously sold her soul to the devil to get to this level…..

Well apparently she lost her top and the paparazzi were there cuz it makes for a good story….and generates some press…unfortunatley, I haven’t found her nipples yet – no matter how hard I zoom in…

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Rihanna is alright. As much as I hate on her for no reason other than bittnerness for my sex addiction that is overpowered by my erectile dysfunction I blame my wife for….I actually don’t hate her. I think it’s pretty amazing that she got from the Islands to the top of the charts with international success, because even if she was a teen whore, she made it fucking happen…but more importantly, I don’t hate her for being half naked often, for singing about the smells of sex, I feel it is a good contribution to the morals and values of our youth who listen to her….I mean the fact she gets on the radio with lyrics I can practically masturbate to, in videos of her half naked, means she’s doing something right….and here she is on set of some video.

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Rihanna is filming some music video in Ireland for some song called “We Found Love”….which I am assuming is dedicated, or at least about her new relationship, with chocolate cake and fried food, cuz she’s thicker than ever, pulling some sort of Popeye’s chicken sponsored Beyonce shit, not that she looks any worse than she ever has or anything, but there is no way she didn’t sell her soul to the devil to get to this level in her career….

Either way, bikini top, shorts being pulled off, works for me….and apaprently for the radio stations and little kids that she is marketing herself to…

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There’s been a lot of talk about Rihanna’s recent performance in Sao Paulo – pretty much calling out for her weight gain that’s gone right to her ass….

…..when I’ve been arguing that she’s had a fat ass or a long fucking time….

I don’t know, Rihanna irritates me. She’d make a better chamber maid who turns tricks at Bajan Karaoke bars for rich guys from the UK, only to get knocked up at 18, and end up in an abusive relationship, where she ends up forcing her man to fuck her up for meddling in his shit, but things worked out different for her…

Either way, here she is in a bikini….

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Armani Jeans has cast Rihanna, to be their celebrity face and unfortunately body, for their underwear campaign…

Rihanna is a huge star. I don’t know who Rihanna sold her soul to, but I asssume it was the same guy she sold her 14 year old Vagina at the Barbados Karaoke bar, because she’s got it fucking made…

People are throwing money at her, in hopes of it selling product, despite her body being something you’d expect belongs carting her 6 kids around the resort looking for a white man to pay her to show them around….her vagina…for the week they are in town….in efforts to pay for her baby formula….

Either way, here’s the first preview….I’m sure much more gross is gonna come..

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I like Rihanna’s European shopping outfit…mainly because it is half naked…and would make the grocery store a hell of a lot more interesting especially on the overweight and elderly…cuz I’m a pervert and I like that kind of belly exposed…but I also like it because she’s a fucking gutter girl from the Islands who I’d expect in a Doo Rag cleaning hotel rooms…not because I’m a racist…but because that was her destiny before being a child prostitute with the right clients thanks to her Island being one of the more prestigious ones…and who really cares….just look at the pics.

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