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Archive for the Salma Hayek Category

2013

24

Oct

Salma Hayek Thong Ass of the Day

Salma Hayek was on set yesterday and everyone got excited because her old mexican tit was hanging out of her shirt…all big and round like you’d expect from a Mexican who only exists because of her big old tit…but the real excitement happened when her skirt got blown up by divine intervention, up on some Final Destination shit, like winning the lottery or not getting on a plane that ends up crashing, or avoiding a getting run over or having a drug overdose by staying in the night your friend hooks up bad pills…only better, because you don’t die looking at her ass as it’s exposed to you by the heavens….or maybe you do…all I know is it’s good.

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Posted in:Salma Hayek

2012

09

Oct

Salma Hayek for Harper’s Bazaar UK of the Day


Salma Hayek may be Mexican, and thus a second rate citizen stealing your jobs….and she may be old, and those have no business being considered sexy, but she’s sure got some great fucking tits, that she is showing off nicely, like a good second rate citizen who is old in efforts to still matter…and it is working….

Posted in:Salma Hayek

2012

20

Sep

Staring Up Salma Hayek’s Nose of the Day

My new fetish is looking up the noses of old, tired, weather, Mexican actresses who made it in Hollywood…especially when her nostrils and tryng to see up them is is all that’s is going on in the pic…they are overpowering and all my perverted mind can fixate on…imagining all the wonderful things that I can do with those nostrils…using my hands, mouth, dick, and feee….anything to get close to them….because when you stare long enough at her nostrils…the fact that she is 90 almost doesn’t matter.


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Posted in:Salma Hayek

2012

23

Apr

Salma Hayek and Sofia Vergara’s Big Latin Tits for Burger King of the Day

A couple of weeks ago Burger King got in trouble for putting a black chick in an ad about fried chicken…something that based on the black people I know…seemed pretty culturally relevant….but no one seemed to give a fuck when they put Sofia Vergara as a Burger King worker, something equally culturally relevant, except that Vergara was more of a whore than the other Colombians, you know sucking coke dealing millionaire dick until they helped her get famous with her tits….tits that Burger King didn’t exploit despite her willingness to exploit them….making that the real tragedy of this campaign….but at least they tried to save themselves by using Salma Hayek’s Mexican Mom Tits…..and here’s the Salma Hayek ad…that I should be getting paid to post, but I’m not.

Here’s the less successful Sofia Vergara ad….for obvious reasons….like no cleavage and total misuse of her…

Posted in:Salma Hayek

2012

03

Apr

Salma Hayek Big Cleavage in May’s Lucky Magazine of the Day

National Cleavage Day is over, I guess this Mexican, like all Mexicans didn’t get the fucking memo, cuz they were too busy changing sheets in hotel rooms and working in kitchens or gardens for you gringo pieces of shit….or maybe, just maybe, Salma Hayek’s been using her big fucking tits, and the cleavage they provide, for the last two decades to get herself fucking famous, cuz people like looking at big tits, apparently even if they are on moms in their 40s, cuz guys are half retarded like that, myself included…..

Here she is in some magazine spread that would be better if she was spread….


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Posted in:Salma Hayek

2012

11

Jan

Salma Hayek’s Big Titties Busting Out of the Day

You know Old Mexican Whore Tits always remind me of my mother. God rest her soul. Like Salma Hayek, she too was a busty Mexican whore, only instead of fucking movie producers, she was fucking asshole white middle to low level management who crossed the border looking for happiness back in the late 60s…. It’s not her fault- she had illegit children to feed….until we were taken away and she died.

Wow…..this is a really happy post about tits busting out of Salma Hayek’s mom shirt….

Posted in:Salma Hayek

2011

24

Nov

Salma Hayek Lays Gold Eggs of the Day

I don’t think this is actually Salma Hayek laying golden eggs, from what I’d imagine, she’s likely menopausal….and well past her child bearing years…..so maybe this is just her shitting gold…you know because compared to the shanty town, donkey shit made huts her friends she grew up with in Mexico and how they are living, she pretty much does shit gold….so why not share that talent with the fucking world…..It is thanksgiving after all…

Posted in:Salma Hayek

2011

16

Aug

Salma Hayek’s Grocery Shopping Ass of the Day

There’s nothing quit like watching a mom ass in a pair of period friendly shorts cuz she’s likely menopausal and the only discharge she risks leaking out of her box will get tapped in her incontinence pad…doing errands…I mean other than watching all the other bitches in the world with better bodies doing their menial daily tasks like shopping for bikinis, studying for college exams, or getting drunk and dancing on bars….Don’t get me wrong Mom Body with period friendly shorts jacked up her ass is amazing…and all…cuz I have an addiction to wanting to see as many vaginas as I can on any given woman I happen to cross paths with….so I don’t discriminate…but I will say…Salma Hayek’s seen better mexican starlet with big tits days….but here are the pics anyway…

Posted in:Salma Hayek

2011

23

Jun

Salma Hayek Old Lady Street Walker of the Day

Here are some pictures of Salma Hayek looking like a streetwalker, cuz I like streetwalkers enough to pretend every girl on the street near a car is a streetwalker and treating them accordingly, it’s kinda my thing…

I guess what it comes down to is that as a Mexican celebrity straight from Mexico, she really was only a few bad blowjobs away from ending up working the street, and if she did end up down that road, like so many Mexicans before her, she’d likely be far skinnier, more haggard, and giving off a strong odor of shit not chanel.

But this is just one of those “things just worked out for her” for reasons I call “great tits” that were perfect to play the mexican part in some Hollywood shit to keep it authentic….

I still think she woulda made a better hooker and I think these pics prove it.

Posted in:Salma Hayek