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Archive for the Salma Hayek Category

2013

24

Oct

Salma Hayek Thong Ass of the Day

Salma Hayek was on set yesterday and everyone got excited because her old mexican tit was hanging out of her shirt…all big and round like you’d expect from a Mexican who only exists because of her big old tit…but the real excitement happened when her skirt got blown up by divine intervention, up on some Final Destination shit, like winning the lottery or not getting on a plane that ends up crashing, or avoiding a getting run over or having a drug overdose by staying in the night your friend hooks up bad pills…only better, because you don’t die looking at her ass as it’s exposed to you by the heavens….or maybe you do…all I know is it’s good.

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Posted in:Salma Hayek

2012

09

Oct

Salma Hayek for Harper’s Bazaar UK of the Day


Salma Hayek may be Mexican, and thus a second rate citizen stealing your jobs….and she may be old, and those have no business being considered sexy, but she’s sure got some great fucking tits, that she is showing off nicely, like a good second rate citizen who is old in efforts to still matter…and it is working….

Posted in:Salma Hayek

2012

20

Sep

Staring Up Salma Hayek’s Nose of the Day

My new fetish is looking up the noses of old, tired, weather, Mexican actresses who made it in Hollywood…especially when her nostrils and tryng to see up them is is all that’s is going on in the pic…they are overpowering and all my perverted mind can fixate on…imagining all the wonderful things that I can do with those nostrils…using my hands, mouth, dick, and feee….anything to get close to them….because when you stare long enough at her nostrils…the fact that she is 90 almost doesn’t matter.


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Posted in:Salma Hayek

2012

23

Apr

Salma Hayek and Sofia Vergara’s Big Latin Tits for Burger King of the Day

A couple of weeks ago Burger King got in trouble for putting a black chick in an ad about fried chicken…something that based on the black people I know…seemed pretty culturally relevant….but no one seemed to give a fuck when they put Sofia Vergara as a Burger King worker, something equally culturally relevant, except that Vergara was more of a whore than the other Colombians, you know sucking coke dealing millionaire dick until they helped her get famous with her tits….tits that Burger King didn’t exploit despite her willingness to exploit them….making that the real tragedy of this campaign….but at least they tried to save themselves by using Salma Hayek’s Mexican Mom Tits…..and here’s the Salma Hayek ad…that I should be getting paid to post, but I’m not.

Here’s the less successful Sofia Vergara ad….for obvious reasons….like no cleavage and total misuse of her…

Posted in:Salma Hayek

2012

03

Apr

Salma Hayek Big Cleavage in May’s Lucky Magazine of the Day

National Cleavage Day is over, I guess this Mexican, like all Mexicans didn’t get the fucking memo, cuz they were too busy changing sheets in hotel rooms and working in kitchens or gardens for you gringo pieces of shit….or maybe, just maybe, Salma Hayek’s been using her big fucking tits, and the cleavage they provide, for the last two decades to get herself fucking famous, cuz people like looking at big tits, apparently even if they are on moms in their 40s, cuz guys are half retarded like that, myself included…..

Here she is in some magazine spread that would be better if she was spread….


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Posted in:Salma Hayek

2012

11

Jan

Salma Hayek’s Big Titties Busting Out of the Day

You know Old Mexican Whore Tits always remind me of my mother. God rest her soul. Like Salma Hayek, she too was a busty Mexican whore, only instead of fucking movie producers, she was fucking asshole white middle to low level management who crossed the border looking for happiness back in the late 60s…. It’s not her fault- she had illegit children to feed….until we were taken away and she died.

Wow…..this is a really happy post about tits busting out of Salma Hayek’s mom shirt….

Posted in:Salma Hayek

2011

24

Nov

Salma Hayek Lays Gold Eggs of the Day

I don’t think this is actually Salma Hayek laying golden eggs, from what I’d imagine, she’s likely menopausal….and well past her child bearing years…..so maybe this is just her shitting gold…you know because compared to the shanty town, donkey shit made huts her friends she grew up with in Mexico and how they are living, she pretty much does shit gold….so why not share that talent with the fucking world…..It is thanksgiving after all…

Posted in:Salma Hayek

2011

16

Aug

Salma Hayek’s Grocery Shopping Ass of the Day

There’s nothing quit like watching a mom ass in a pair of period friendly shorts cuz she’s likely menopausal and the only discharge she risks leaking out of her box will get tapped in her incontinence pad…doing errands…I mean other than watching all the other bitches in the world with better bodies doing their menial daily tasks like shopping for bikinis, studying for college exams, or getting drunk and dancing on bars….Don’t get me wrong Mom Body with period friendly shorts jacked up her ass is amazing…and all…cuz I have an addiction to wanting to see as many vaginas as I can on any given woman I happen to cross paths with….so I don’t discriminate…but I will say…Salma Hayek’s seen better mexican starlet with big tits days….but here are the pics anyway…

Posted in:Salma Hayek

2011

23

Jun

Salma Hayek Old Lady Street Walker of the Day

Here are some pictures of Salma Hayek looking like a streetwalker, cuz I like streetwalkers enough to pretend every girl on the street near a car is a streetwalker and treating them accordingly, it’s kinda my thing…

I guess what it comes down to is that as a Mexican celebrity straight from Mexico, she really was only a few bad blowjobs away from ending up working the street, and if she did end up down that road, like so many Mexicans before her, she’d likely be far skinnier, more haggard, and giving off a strong odor of shit not chanel.

But this is just one of those “things just worked out for her” for reasons I call “great tits” that were perfect to play the mexican part in some Hollywood shit to keep it authentic….

I still think she woulda made a better hooker and I think these pics prove it.

Posted in:Salma Hayek

2011

11

May

Salma Hayek Puss and Boobs of the Day

I wonder how many people made the Puss & Boobs joke when posting pictures of Salma Hayek and Antonio Banderas at some movie premiere. I’m thinking at least one.

So a spic and a spaniard walk in a bar…no wait, she’s a Mexican and Mexicans get mad when you call them Spics, cuz we ain’t no J.Lo….

I haven’t figured out why I’m doing this post, maybe cuz bitch isn’t exposing her big tits enough to keep me happy and I’m responding angrily by associating her with the other trash I post about….or maybe I’m doing it because I’m from Mexican descent and I know she’s our National pride cuz she is the best looking thing Mexico has produced, I mean other than my Dirty Taco eating ass.

This post is a disaster. Fuck you Hayek for Hiding You Tits.

Posted in:Salma Hayek

2011

17

Feb

Salma Hayek Getting Hot and Heavy on Set of the Day

Literally….

Get it…cuz she looks all thick and shit…

I’m so good at this Blogging shit…

Ps…I’m drunk.

Hi Mom…Why did you die on me?! I’m not talking to your Salma Hayek…you are a Mexican mother…just not my Mexican mother….

Posted in:Salma Hayek

2011

04

Jan

Salma Hayek Covers Up for Water Safety of the Day

I like the kind of women who aren’t 40 year old mothers with full lookin’ bodies to match their massively full lookin tits…who are eager to show off their tits that made them famous…cuz they are appreciative of the fact that they aren’t working at a resort cleaning off shit, piss, cum and puke off the Cancun hotel wall….and they know what we pay the movie tickets that made her famous for….the kind of bitch who under any and all circumstances would never cover up her titties when she knew the paparazzi was around cuz she wanted to get as many miles out of them as humanly possible before she’s too fucking old for us to care cuz all old ladies have big tits….You know the kind of bitch who risks drowning, discomfort, death, to give her audience what they came for…

I guess with money, success, fame, marriage, stability comes no longer caring or working for the people who jerked off to her tits countless times….That drive has disappeared and she’s got soft. Literally…

Here she is on a waverunner, covered up, reminding us that she’s over and done with.

Posted in:Salma Hayek

2010

30

Dec

Salma Hayek in a Bikini for Old Times of the Day

Salma Hayek is a fucking tank.

I guess that’s no real surprise cuz like all girls who had big tits in thier 20s, when they turn 30 the rest of them slowly follows their titty’s lead and by 40 turns into real thick…not the mention this bitch is a Mexican, and I have never met a slim Mexcian mother before….

So the fact that this Mexican isn’t being carted around on a medical scooter with diabetes is a testament to how hard she is fighting her Mexican genetics…..something that probably isn’t worth celebrating in her bikini, but since I like all pussy in bikinis, it’s good enough for me, even if it’s sending a bad message to young girls everywhere that ou can be proud of your mom body any shape it is and parade it around like it’s not a disgusting fucking mess…

Posted in:Salma Hayek

2010

18

Oct

Salma Hayek Big Cleavage of the Day

I know Salma Hayek is not the same Salma Hayek she once was, but as a Mexican I see it as my job to promote all good things Mexican and no matter how old her tits are, they are pretty much the best export other than Mexican food to eat and Ugly Betty to laugh at…

It’s one of those, whether she’s old or not, it doesn’t matter, cuz Mexican women aren’t meant to look this way, they are meant to be short, dumpy by 22 and moms to multiple kids fed by their hard work making hotel beds and their dad’s spend the day in siesta…but maybe I’m just throwing out stereotypes you white people want to hear….maybe the truth is all pussy in Mexica is Salma Hayek caliber, but I wouldn’t know, I haven’t been there since I was 5.

Here is her great mom cleavage…worth fucking a pinata over…I’ll tell you that much…slutty and conservative all at the sametime..this is like business casual…but better…and just as confusing…

Posted in:Salma Hayek

2010

31

Aug

Salma Hayek’s Amazing Cleavage of the Day

Salma Hayek may be older, thicker and a mom, but she’s still Salma Hayek and she’s doing pretty fucking good in these pictures.

I was one of the many dudes who thought her Mexican face wasn’t hairy enough to turn me off of her curvy fucking body, and I’m may have giving up on her, you know traded her in for younger, fresher pussy, but I’m not giving up on her now, she’s recruited me back into her fan club, even though I hate Mexican women cuz they remind me of my dead whore mother…not because of her rotting pussy, but because she’s Mexican….but her weight gain and pregnancy has brought her even bigger fucking tits, and since I don’t get to fuck her, I don’t really care how mangled her pussy has become….I just like that she’s out there, showing the other busty starlets that they aren’t anything special, cuz everyone with a little tit can get themselves a push-up bra and a low cut shirt…and as a perverted blogger…I’m glad she did cuz this is a magical reminder of great tits from a simpler time…

Posted in:Salma Hayek