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Archive for the Samantha Ronson Category

2008

23

May

Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson are Friends of the Day

I don’t understand why people give a fuck whether these two are lovers or not, if anything it’s hot as fuck and not something to get all pissed off and punch the wall over, it’s not like you ever had the opportunity to get with Lohan in the first place and the truth is if you really believe, as you print off ever picture you’ve ever seen of her to staple on your wall, and watch every DVD she’s ever been in every night before bed, you can still live out the fantasy of that when she goes back to men, you’ll be the one she chooses.

The point is that seeing a girl with another dude leads to a girl getting married and pregnant and leaving no chance for you to move in, but a girl with another girl always leaves the dream of an open door for another dude to come in and sweep her off her feet. Unfortunately, for me, that guy won’t be me, but I am fully supportive of this union but that’s just because I love watching girls go down on each other. I’m a guy like that.

I feel like I should be the dude getting off (the plane) with them, but that’s not going to happen because apparently the guy I met last night who looks like Sam Ronson thinks I have no chance and I believe him because he seems like an authority on tight jeans, sneakers and funny hats and knows what his people like.

Posted in:Friends|Lindsay Lohan|Samantha Ronson

2008

24

Mar

Lindsay Lohan’s Lesbian Pizza Party of the Day

I was surprised to find out that lesbians ate pizza, I always thought they only ate pussy, but here is Lohan and her lesbian cock, Samantha Ronson on a pizza date, proving me wrong.

I always find it funny when the people I’ve known in my life have had to fuck off to rehab and they come back to the normal life and ask me out for a coffee because they don’t drink or do drugs anymore and coffee is their drug of choice. So I have to sit through hours of them spewing their self absorbed bullshit on me, like how they are changed and how they are never going to touch drugs again and how they realized in rehab that they really hated themselves and that is why they were self destructive and now they are working on a better happier life, while I know they are bullshit and 3 months or less later I run into them jacked on coke in a club talking about how they are cured and just dabble in the shit and 6 months later I get a call from them asking me for money, which is pretty fucking desperate because everyone knows I have no money, but I guess they’ve gone through all their other leads and are desperate and then a year later a get a call from a mutual friend telling me they are dead.

I am not saying that Lohan is back on the drugs, I am saying she was never off the drugs. She looks like the kind of girl who has a mother who fed her cocaine when she was 10 to keep a trim figure while staying energetic so that she could make more money for the family, she just went to rehab to save face and make the public and producers think she was making positive changes, while in reality she’s still a vagina lickin’ cokehead with too much money to ever stop and I think I love that kind of determination. Unfortunately, the lesbian cock she’s sockin’ is Samantha Ronson’s and that destroys any lesbian all the sex appeal from a potentially amazing video opportunity, if only another chick was cast for the part.

Posted in:Lindsay Lohan|Pizza|Samantha Ronson

2008

13

Mar

Lohan and Her Lesbian Cock of the Day

I wonder who the fuck raped or molested Samantha Ronson when she was younger to make her end up like this creepy drug addicted lookin’ lesbian in a hat. I guess there is a chance that she wasn’t molested or raped and it is just a genetic issue. I’m thinking that maybe there wasn’t enough female DNA to go around in her mother’s broken womb, because it all went into Mark Ronson’s singing, and Samantha Ronson got stuck with the short end of the stick, literally, because bitch was born without the penis she wished she had….

Either way, she’s hanging with my internet mother Lohan, because she looks old enough to be my mother, which wouldn’t stop me from getting her herpes all over my face and my seed all over her uterus in hopes of having a genetic freak like Ronson of our own.

I am not sure why Samantha Ronson is creepin’ on Lohan, but I know she’s up to no good. She looks like the dude from the Frosty the Snowman cartoon who was trying to steal Frosty’s hat and ultimately killed him…and I feel like Ronson is up on that which means that they are either fucking, or doing drugs together, when they really should be shoppin’ for clothes together because Samantha Ronson’s needs a new look, but is more into drinkin’ beer, huffin lines, watchin’ football and fuckin’ bitches with her clown sneakers on….what she doesn’t realize is that just because she fucks bitches and is a bitch doesn’t mean she has the right to dress like a dude, if you have a vagina, you should be a lady who dresses like a lady even if you fuck ladies.

Either way, I messaged Ronson on Facebook for an official statement about these pictures, she ignored me. Maybe she was jerking off to porn and changing the oil on her car after building a shed in her backyard, like the dude that she is, or maybe she was out trying to ruin Lohan more than she already has by riding Lohan’s fame until Lohan self-destructs as Ronson shovels cocaine up both their noses….

I’ve spent too much time writing this post and it sucks. I need a nap.

Posted in:Lesbian|Lindsay Lohan|Nipples|Samantha Ronson

2007

13

Nov

I am – Lohan is Hanging With Her Lesbian Cock Ronson of the Day

lindsay_lohan_samantha_rosen4.jpg

So it seems like Lohan’s fallen off the wagon or is at least about to fall off the wagon and that gets me excited because she’s going to be more accessible. I don’t actually think she’s ever been on a wagon, but that’s only because her parents turned her into a money making machine when she was a kid and when you’re a money making machine, there’s not time to play and also because I am sure the rehab center she was at were letting her do whatever fucking drugs she wanted because she was a great marketing tool for them.

That said, she’s back with the Lesbian Cock Ronson and where there’s lesbian cock there’s cocaine, especially when that lesbian cock is a bad DJ, because she needs that shit to get the confidence to go on stage and make a fool of herself without realizing it. Powdered Courage baby…you should try it.

Bonus: Steve Aoki – Lohan’s Homey is in some videogame and it made me laugh


Related Posts:

Lohan Lookin’ Wrecked
Lohan is Partying Drunk
Lohan Lookin’ Wrecked
Lohan Doing Cocaine Screen Shots
Lohan is a Drunken Party Slut

Posted in:Lesbian Cock|Lindsay Lohan|Samantha Ronson|Unsorted

2007

22

May

I am – Samantha Ronson is Lohan's Lesbian Cock of the Day

lohan_lesbian_cock4.jpg

So Lohan has been on a crazed party spree according to the media. Bitch has been caught doing blow on video. She’s been seen drinking vodka out of the bottle cuz that’s so fucking crazy. She’s been having really loud sex with models in hotel rooms and she’s not even 21 yet. It sounds to me like bitch is having a good fucking time and that this is better than any college frat party or Girls Gone Wild DVD. So I support the fall into Satan’s temptation….

I know I’d be doing the same thing if I had all kinds of money, which I don’t. I also know that no matter how fucking drunk, high, wasted, jacked, inebriated, or whatever the fuck you want to call it, I was, I would never fuck anything that looked like this fucking piece of trash bull dyke Samantha Ronson. I know that Lohan’s been rumored to be rockin’ this cunt like it was a dick and by the looks of her, it probably is a fucking dick or at least it was at one point in time. I was trying to make out whether she is a tranny by looking for an adam’s apple, but she’s conveniently wearing a fucking tie to cover it up like she was your dad on his way to a bank to get the approved for a loan to buy your family a new trailer home.

I know that this Ronson has a twin sister, and I happened to watch an episode of 20/20 last week about transgendered kids. One story was about a set of fraternal twins that were about 13 years old at the time. The dude twin decided that he was a girl when he was young and at the age of 2 dude tried to cut off his dick with a set of nail clippers and from that day on dressed like a girl and resented his sister for being a girl. The kid was all fucked up and angry and I have a feeling that story was actually some old footage about the Ronson twins….but I can’t be sure…

Either way, they have to have a rich dad who is industry, because this talentless cunt obviously has no business traveling the world with Lohan. Even if she is stuffing Lohan like a thanksgiving Turkey. I guess that’s what Wikipedia is for and rich or not, we’ve already established that all the money in the world will never make you a real woman. Sure you can get the expensive surgery, you can afford the hormone therapy, but motherfucker, we know you were born a man and that means you have the insides of a man and no straight dude will stick his dick in your artificially lubed plastic box knowing that, but you’re a good transitional person for straight girls looking for a lesbian experience without actually admitting that they are dykes and into chicks….I guess you already figured that out on your own. Slut.

Bonus – Here are some pics of Lohan Dancing for Her Lesbian Cock. She is Lookin’ A Little More Haggard than Usual. I Guess Her Cocaine Lifestyle is Taking Its Toll….

All Pics Via Cobrasnake, The

Posted in:DJ|Hipster|Lesbian|Lindsay Lohan|Samantha Ronson|Uncategorized|Unsorted

2007

22

May

I am – Samantha Ronson is Lohan’s Lesbian Cock of the Day

lohan_lesbian_cock4.jpg

So Lohan has been on a crazed party spree according to the media. Bitch has been caught doing blow on video. She’s been seen drinking vodka out of the bottle cuz that’s so fucking crazy. She’s been having really loud sex with models in hotel rooms and she’s not even 21 yet. It sounds to me like bitch is having a good fucking time and that this is better than any college frat party or Girls Gone Wild DVD. So I support the fall into Satan’s temptation….

I know I’d be doing the same thing if I had all kinds of money, which I don’t. I also know that no matter how fucking drunk, high, wasted, jacked, inebriated, or whatever the fuck you want to call it, I was, I would never fuck anything that looked like this fucking piece of trash bull dyke Samantha Ronson. I know that Lohan’s been rumored to be rockin’ this cunt like it was a dick and by the looks of her, it probably is a fucking dick or at least it was at one point in time. I was trying to make out whether she is a tranny by looking for an adam’s apple, but she’s conveniently wearing a fucking tie to cover it up like she was your dad on his way to a bank to get the approved for a loan to buy your family a new trailer home.

I know that this Ronson has a twin sister, and I happened to watch an episode of 20/20 last week about transgendered kids. One story was about a set of fraternal twins that were about 13 years old at the time. The dude twin decided that he was a girl when he was young and at the age of 2 dude tried to cut off his dick with a set of nail clippers and from that day on dressed like a girl and resented his sister for being a girl. The kid was all fucked up and angry and I have a feeling that story was actually some old footage about the Ronson twins….but I can’t be sure…

Either way, they have to have a rich dad who is industry, because this talentless cunt obviously has no business traveling the world with Lohan. Even if she is stuffing Lohan like a thanksgiving Turkey. I guess that’s what Wikipedia is for and rich or not, we’ve already established that all the money in the world will never make you a real woman. Sure you can get the expensive surgery, you can afford the hormone therapy, but motherfucker, we know you were born a man and that means you have the insides of a man and no straight dude will stick his dick in your artificially lubed plastic box knowing that, but you’re a good transitional person for straight girls looking for a lesbian experience without actually admitting that they are dykes and into chicks….I guess you already figured that out on your own. Slut.

Bonus – Here are some pics of Lohan Dancing for Her Lesbian Cock. She is Lookin’ A Little More Haggard than Usual. I Guess Her Cocaine Lifestyle is Taking Its Toll….

All Pics Via Cobrasnake, The

Posted in:DJ|Hipster|Lesbian|Lindsay Lohan|Samantha Ronson|Uncategorized|Unsorted