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Archive for the Samantha Ronson Category

2008

22

Dec

Samantha Ronson Makes 3 Million Dollars a Year of the Day

Everyone is freaking out about Samantha Ronson making 3,000,000 dollars a year as a DJ and claim that she’s only getting the 25,000 dollar a gig price because club promoters think she’s going to be carting Lohan around with her and is pretty much using Lohan to get the big payout, but bars and clubs are fucking sketchy business, run by the mafia to launder money and there’s tons of cash that needs to go around and get accounted to prevent people from going to jail, so people in the bar industry have always spent tons of money on various DJs, acts, parties, hosts, whatever, because they have tons of cash to do it, whether celebrities are involved in the mix or not….

Sure, more mainstream people know who she is now and care about who is DJing the party more than they used to, but that’s why these celeb DJs exist. People don’t know if someone can mix a record together well or not, they care about who is mixing that record and if they recognize any of the songs the DJ is playing so they can get on the table and dance around like idiots while singing along….

I snuck into a Ronson party last year when they were just rumored being together and shit was fucking packed with chachi motherfuckers who bought bottle after fucking bottle in some sea of cheese that made me want to kill myself, and that made the club a couple hundred thousand dollars, so why shouldn’t the DJ who people came out to see, see some of that money since the club was pushing her as “Lohan’s possible Girlfriend” to sell tickets. Seems fair to me….

A few years ago, DJ AM was in town and he got paid over 100,000 dollars to play one night with Nicole Richie when they were fucking, and he also has a million dollar deal with a Vegas club to play on a weekly basis. That’s 1 million dollars to work one day a week for a year. He also owns two night clubs and a management company that represents a bunch of these celeb/mainstream DJs who all get paid between 10k and 30k a gig, depending on when and where. So he laughs at the 3,000,000 dollars Ronson makes, while counting the 15 or 20 million dollars he probably makes doing the same thing….

I know this because a promoter wanted to organize a birthday party for the site, and I wanted celebrity DJs there because I thought it would be funny to throw shit at them while they DJed and not getting kicked out since it was my fucking party and I’ll throw ice at the overpriced celebrity DJ if I want to, so I reached out to the booking agents, and the cheapest quote I got was 15,000 dollars for any of them on an off night, like a Sunday or Monday. So instead of getting the funding to throw pies at AM while he Djayed, the idea was flushed down the toilet.

So these people make fucking bank,they party and drink all night, play music, fuck hot chicks and travel the world and people come out to dance to their boring, sweet sixteen, mainstream sets, but at least they are doing something for the party, unlike the time Paris Hilton came to town, she got paid 80,000 dollars and a bunch of coke to show up to an event, Hilary Duff, Christina Aguilera, Tila Tequila, Kim Kardashian, Pam Anderson, Marissa Miller, P Diddy, and a lot more celebs have rolled through here and they all cost more than 25,000 dollars a night and they just sit around for an hour pretending to drink before heading back to the hotel, so to put it all in perspective, it’s really not all that crazy, even if 95% of their sets is playing other people’s music….and what it all comes down to is that we’re idiots struggling to pay our rent because we didn’t have the foresight to get on this DJ train and date a celebrity of our owne, while Ronson laughs her way to the bank….

Posted in:DJ|Samantha Ronson

2008

03

Dec

How About Some More Lohan Ronson of the Day

Here’s another video of Lohan and Ronson shopping. I don’t really know why I am bothering posting it, but it kinda made me laugh, not because they follow Ronson around where she tells them they are following the wrong person, or because they confuse her for not being a Jew and ask how her Christmas shopping is going, and not because some New York accent screams out of no where at Lohan asking “How’s your fawtha?”, completely out of fucking context, but I guess trying to either rub in the fact that she has no relationship with her dad, or that she’s got major daddy issues, or maybe he has no idea they are estranged and have issues, or maybe he just likes being an asshole, but because they ask Ronson if she’s had the Ronson shake and Ronson’s got know idea hat they are talking about, but probably assumed they were asking about one of Lohan’s bedroom tricks, but she laughs it off when she realizes that it’s the Milkshake Paparazzi guy trying to push his shit on the people he exploits…Either way, I guess the whole thing really wasn’t all that funny, so I’ll leave you some Asian dude singing Touch My Body because it’s amazing.

Posted in:Lesbians|Lindsay Lohan|Samantha Ronson

2008

20

Nov

Sam Ronson is Watching You of the Day

Halloween was probably about 3 weeks ago, I’m not very good with dates, since everyday is the same hamster wheel for me, but I think it’s time for Samantha Ronson to take her death mask off. I guess it’s the late nights, the drugs and the drinking, the dealing with Lohan’s pussy and spending hours trying to lick it clean, a task even a person with all the stamina in the world would probably burn out from.

I feel sorry for this girl, you know dealing with a cunt like Lohan every fucking day. Child stars aren’t normal humans, they are needy, selfish and fucking dangerously insane, and to get emotionally involved with one, is probably a good way to get dangerously insane by association. You know, always being criticized and in her cunt shadow, and then getting dropped the second she decides she wants cock, which with Lohan, could happen any second, and in the entire mess, you don’t get a chance to enjoy your moment in the limelight, you know getting dolled up and putting make-up on to look your best, instead you get psychological abuse, and a face that looks like HIV ravaged it….because you’re up all night babysitting an unappreciative, overly dramatic peice of shit who takes herself too fucking seriously, is overly intense, and thinks her life is some kind of dramatic series that never got picked up by a studio, and that she’s the fuckin’ star of….if you know what I mean…and the good news is that it always ends in suicide..


BONUS THAT’S NOT REALLY A BONUS….

Speaking of Suicide – Did You Hear This Story About a Dude Who ODed on Xanax Like He Was Winona Ryder, and He Did it Live on Webcam?
GO

Posted in:Samantha Ronson|Scary

2008

30

Oct

EXCLUSIVE – Sam Ronson Nude Shower Picture of the Day

I was sent in these pictures from a source close to Sam Ronson that read:

Stepfather (if that is your real name),

I am a friend of Samantha Ronson’s. We have known each other for a very long time, I even went to high school with her. Since she started dating Lindsay Lohan, she hasn’t been returning my calls, or facebook friend requests and I find the whole thing pretty annoying. Sure, we went our separate ways and only spoke sporadically the last 5 or 6 years, but I don’t think this new found fame is any reason for her to neglect those she was once close to, especially when all I wanted was to say hi and see how she’s been holding up with all this media attention.

I went digging through some old photos and came across this one of her showering, I am sure you’ll find them entertaining. You can post them on your website, but I would like to remain anonymous.

Since I like to help people out, Sam Ronson, if you’re reading this, which you aren’t, since you don’t know I exist, but I’ll say it anyway….Please don’t forget where you came from because you are too busy babysitting Lindsay Lohan with your tongue in her vagina. You’re not too good for the people you once liked and tt’s just not a very decent thing to do, but posting pics of you naked is. Ps – Nice tits.

I can’t confirm or deny the legitimacy of this email or the pictures included, but they look legit to me and that’s all that matters.

Posted in:Nude|Samantha Ronson|Shower

2008

23

Sep

Lindsay Lohan and Sam Ronson Confirm Their Lesbianism of the Day

One of my life’s great tragedies is that I am not friends with Sam Ronson or Lindsay Lohan, but I could have told you they were having sex a long time ago. I could have also confirmed it when I went to a Sam Ronson show here that gave me a headache, when I went to take a piss and she was at the urinal next to me taking a piss and pulled her fingers out and slid them under my nose and asked me if I liked the sweet smell of Lohan’s cunt , and I didn’t because it smelled more like stale whiskey, cigarettes and a dirty homeless man’s asshole.

Either way, they were on the Loveline, with some asshole wannabe celebrity DJ named Stryker, talking about AM and the plane crash and basically having a who knows AM better conversation, dropping words like “dude” and “homie” in a rough New York rough accent, despite being rich and private school bred from England and Lohan got on the phone to confirm that she is dating Samantha Ronson, I don’t really realize why this is a story. I thought it was already confirmed and it doesn’t matter, what does matter is that those who wear shiny pants together, stay together.

To Hear the Interview Follow the “GO” Link
GO

Posted in:Lindsay Lohan|Samantha Ronson

2008

26

Aug

Lohan and Ronson Go Out for a Family Dinner of the Day

Here’s a little angry lesbian action as Sam Ronson gives the paparazzi the finger while lookin’ like Macauley Culkin or some shit. Now I like Sam Ronson and have defended her and her intentions for at least the last week. I never called her out as a social climbing socialite from a rich family who figured attaching herself to Lohan would get her more money for her DJ gigs, I never said that they probably aren’t fucking or are doing what they are doing to mess with the media because when you grow up as the kid or stepkid of some socialite mother and rockstar, you are taught at a young age what the right and wrong thing to say is, but I do think giving us all the finger is totally out of line. It’s one of those things where you like the media when they give you coverage, otherwise you wouldn’t be hanging out with Hollywood’s badgirl and you wouldn’t date or pretend to date someone so high profile, you’d attach yourself to a nice lowkey lesbian who is probably a whole lot easier to deal with than Lohan.

Beyond just giving us the finger, I ran into someone who went to some event she recently played in Montreal and he said that she ignored his attempts to meet her, she spent most of her time texting someone, and she looked like being there was the last place in the world she wanted to be, despite getting paid 30,000 dollars. In her defense, meeting random local freaks in every city is probably not something I’d be down with either, but I’m not a DJ trying to secure fans. He also told me her music sucked, her set sucked and the whole experience sucked harder than Lohan used to suck dick. The worst thing about her Montreal trip was the fact that she didn’t even reach out to me and ask me to hang so until she does, this bitch is dead to me and her bullshit flippin’ the bird for attention is just that…a cry for attention. That said, Lohan’s got some great tits.

Posted in:Lindsay Lohan|Samantha Ronson

2008

23

May

Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson are Friends of the Day

I don’t understand why people give a fuck whether these two are lovers or not, if anything it’s hot as fuck and not something to get all pissed off and punch the wall over, it’s not like you ever had the opportunity to get with Lohan in the first place and the truth is if you really believe, as you print off ever picture you’ve ever seen of her to staple on your wall, and watch every DVD she’s ever been in every night before bed, you can still live out the fantasy of that when she goes back to men, you’ll be the one she chooses.

The point is that seeing a girl with another dude leads to a girl getting married and pregnant and leaving no chance for you to move in, but a girl with another girl always leaves the dream of an open door for another dude to come in and sweep her off her feet. Unfortunately, for me, that guy won’t be me, but I am fully supportive of this union but that’s just because I love watching girls go down on each other. I’m a guy like that.

I feel like I should be the dude getting off (the plane) with them, but that’s not going to happen because apparently the guy I met last night who looks like Sam Ronson thinks I have no chance and I believe him because he seems like an authority on tight jeans, sneakers and funny hats and knows what his people like.

Posted in:Friends|Lindsay Lohan|Samantha Ronson

2008

24

Mar

Lindsay Lohan’s Lesbian Pizza Party of the Day

I was surprised to find out that lesbians ate pizza, I always thought they only ate pussy, but here is Lohan and her lesbian cock, Samantha Ronson on a pizza date, proving me wrong.

I always find it funny when the people I’ve known in my life have had to fuck off to rehab and they come back to the normal life and ask me out for a coffee because they don’t drink or do drugs anymore and coffee is their drug of choice. So I have to sit through hours of them spewing their self absorbed bullshit on me, like how they are changed and how they are never going to touch drugs again and how they realized in rehab that they really hated themselves and that is why they were self destructive and now they are working on a better happier life, while I know they are bullshit and 3 months or less later I run into them jacked on coke in a club talking about how they are cured and just dabble in the shit and 6 months later I get a call from them asking me for money, which is pretty fucking desperate because everyone knows I have no money, but I guess they’ve gone through all their other leads and are desperate and then a year later a get a call from a mutual friend telling me they are dead.

I am not saying that Lohan is back on the drugs, I am saying she was never off the drugs. She looks like the kind of girl who has a mother who fed her cocaine when she was 10 to keep a trim figure while staying energetic so that she could make more money for the family, she just went to rehab to save face and make the public and producers think she was making positive changes, while in reality she’s still a vagina lickin’ cokehead with too much money to ever stop and I think I love that kind of determination. Unfortunately, the lesbian cock she’s sockin’ is Samantha Ronson’s and that destroys any lesbian all the sex appeal from a potentially amazing video opportunity, if only another chick was cast for the part.

Posted in:Lindsay Lohan|Pizza|Samantha Ronson

2008

13

Mar

Lohan and Her Lesbian Cock of the Day

I wonder who the fuck raped or molested Samantha Ronson when she was younger to make her end up like this creepy drug addicted lookin’ lesbian in a hat. I guess there is a chance that she wasn’t molested or raped and it is just a genetic issue. I’m thinking that maybe there wasn’t enough female DNA to go around in her mother’s broken womb, because it all went into Mark Ronson’s singing, and Samantha Ronson got stuck with the short end of the stick, literally, because bitch was born without the penis she wished she had….

Either way, she’s hanging with my internet mother Lohan, because she looks old enough to be my mother, which wouldn’t stop me from getting her herpes all over my face and my seed all over her uterus in hopes of having a genetic freak like Ronson of our own.

I am not sure why Samantha Ronson is creepin’ on Lohan, but I know she’s up to no good. She looks like the dude from the Frosty the Snowman cartoon who was trying to steal Frosty’s hat and ultimately killed him…and I feel like Ronson is up on that which means that they are either fucking, or doing drugs together, when they really should be shoppin’ for clothes together because Samantha Ronson’s needs a new look, but is more into drinkin’ beer, huffin lines, watchin’ football and fuckin’ bitches with her clown sneakers on….what she doesn’t realize is that just because she fucks bitches and is a bitch doesn’t mean she has the right to dress like a dude, if you have a vagina, you should be a lady who dresses like a lady even if you fuck ladies.

Either way, I messaged Ronson on Facebook for an official statement about these pictures, she ignored me. Maybe she was jerking off to porn and changing the oil on her car after building a shed in her backyard, like the dude that she is, or maybe she was out trying to ruin Lohan more than she already has by riding Lohan’s fame until Lohan self-destructs as Ronson shovels cocaine up both their noses….

I’ve spent too much time writing this post and it sucks. I need a nap.

Posted in:Lesbian|Lindsay Lohan|Nipples|Samantha Ronson