In case you were wondering….this isn’t Lady Gaga dragging a dude out of the river to steal his penis to staple to her leg…it is Scarlett Johansson…recently divorced, aware that her husband has moved onto the town whore, Blake Lively, figures she should dress like an 80s whore, and drag wet suit wearing scuba men out of the waters searching for missing poeple, and filling her vagina that’s been missing people…if you know what I mean..How else could you explain this?
After the success of the Is This Olivia Munn Naked post…I figure all you perverts like celebrity look alikes in amateur porn…because a reader sent in these pictures of Scarlett Johansson, assuming they were the other hacked pictures the hacker put out to the internet before getting shut the fuck down, while I’m pretty covinced these are just pictures of some girl who resembles Scarlett Johansson….that’s not to say these aren’t her or that Scarjo doesn’t have these kinds of pics floating around….because let’s face it she went from obscure to huge pretty fast…all while being marketed as this hot piece that was clearly a hell of a lot of marketing…cuz despite being pudgy and decent looking, she was never the level they played her out to be and my theory on that is blowjobs paved the way, it’s the modern “Selling your soul to the devil”…but I’m pretty sure these aren’t pics documenting that….what do you think?
I don’t know why I bothered doing any other post today….this Scarlett Johansson pics I posted drunk at 7 am were all I really needed, so I’m posting this to remind you that I POSTED THEM ALREADY …. still don’t know if they are her….but they are amazingness… Notice The Tattoos Match
I know this all you care about – user….I feel like a whore…
Girls with cellphones are such sluts….they all do this nude picture thing…and it is amazing…
Here are the rumored Scarlett Johansson cellphone pics that were stolen a few months ago. I am not going to say they are of her because that will make me liable and she can sue me, but I will say this girl has a serious, uncanny resemblence to Scarlett Johansson….
I’m a firm Scarlett Johansson hater, partially cuz I think her raspy voice and acting is depressing and partially because I find her overrated….When I look at her I don’t see the hotness everyone else does, I see sloppy and big nose….but maybe that’s just by Hollywood standards…cuz these pics are hot enough for me….I guess cuz now I see her in a new light…or maybe it’s just cuz they aren’t of Scarlett Johansson at all… You be the judge judy…
It is 7 am….I am drunk and this isn’t what I want to be doing…You’re welcome. I am going to pass out and possibly choke on my vomit now….It’s been nice working for you…
Sidenote, between you and me, I’m happy to get some celeb nudity sent it, this is the shit the site was built on and the shit I wait for while posting shitty paparazzi stuff, so Scarlett Johansson or not, this gives me hope of a better fucking tomorrow…one sloppy tit and great ass at a time…
Sure these pics are hardly pornographic, gaping, spread eagled perverted, shocking or humiliating….They are all erotic, softcore nudes, all girls have taken of themselves, but that’s better than nothing….and more importantly better than her SHITTY SINGING ….here are the pics.
Here’s some dumpy shit that’s marketed as being hot for all the virgin losers who love all things comic book and the women in costumes who are bringing their fantasies they’ve jerked off to since they were teenage boys, unable to process how weird jerking off to a drawing is…..
Her name is Scarlett Johansson and she’s taken her half assed, raspy voice, shitty acting and gut and put them into some spanx and spandex to re-invent her sloppy self…and you’re going to masturbate to her….again….maybe cuz she reminds you of a 40 year old mom….who should be wearing an oversized sweatsuit to her pilates class…and that feels like home…but I’m pretty sure it’s just marketing…cuz this bitch is overrated and more importantly overfed. Get her away from the craft services table motherfucker, you have a movie to make….
Here’s a picture of someone who may or may not be Scarlett Johansson in a photoshoot wearing a one piece…because I think legally you can’t call a person by their name in a picture if it’s an artist rendition of that person…you know cuz her dumpy body was photoshopped so hard to look all dainty and modelesque and shit…when in reality she’s built like she works at the local fried chicken restaurant…or even an ice cream shop….you get what I’m saying and if you’re not it’s that she’s fat…but thanks to Elle magazine, she knows what she looks like if she wasn’t….and apparently it’s not that bad of a thing….
Seeing these pictures of a fat Scarlett Johansson running, possibly pregnant, likely just pregnant on donuts and emotional eating due to the pressures she faces as being the most overrated beauty in hollywood, something I’ve always contested with great passion, because sure he face was always something alright to look at, her body was always a dump….seriously…it always reminded me of my home…one step away from being condemed unsanitary…but it took her belly being bigger than her tits, you know extented outward for you idiots to fucking notice…typical perverts.
I don’t think her barefoot runner technology booties is really gonna save her on this one…it’s like watching a Japanese family who never skied in 40,000 dollars of equipment, traditional shoes woulda done just fine…pig…
Scarlett Johansson had her email hacked, at least that’s the rumor. They are saying there are nude pics of her floating around, these aren’t them.
I don’t believe it til I see it, I just assume it’s a Hudgens cover-up, you know cuz she had a scandal a few weeks ago that you probably already forgot about,….that’s what happens when your career is based on some fad for 10 year olds who are now 14 and are ashamed of the bullshit.
Not that that has anything to do with Scarlett Johansson, the most overrated “beauty” in Hollywood….who you all think is so fucking amazing for some weird reason I call marketing, but who irritates the hell out of me…especially when she talks all slow, nasal, raspy and annoying. I just want to cunt punch her while shoving my dick down her throat to shut her the hell up….I’m a gentleman like that….Hi girls….
Here she is in Vogue China wearing tight clothes, it’s like Lost in Translation all over again for this bitch….who cares. FOLLOW ME
I don’t give a fuck about Scarlett Johansson, but then again I don’t give a shit about anyone…especially when they are overrated swine…you know, short, fat and dumpy with a big nose…but apparently, when they are photoshopped to shit for a ad campaign cuz that’s all the work she can get…I like ‘em just fine….
Scarlett Jahansson is married to Alanis Morisette’s ex-fiance…and now for some reason bitch is turning into her. I’m not sure if this is one of those insecure with her husbands past relationship things cuz she caught him jerking off to an old sex tape or something…but this homely shit is bad.
She’s rockin’ lesbian forearm tattoos, a elogated face with ratty fucking hair and she’s wearing a fat chick dress that fat chicks wear to give their fat body shape that is less of a sphere and more of a pear. This is more than disappointing. She has a responsibility to the public to live up to the overhype she got a few years ago when you idiots assumed she was more special than she actually is…
But the good news for her is that her fans are mainly virgin losers committed to pussy they will never meet cuz it’s easier to have fantasies than real human relationships…especially with all their aspergers…
I know people who get off to a lot less than a little cleavage on pussy they want to fuck….or pussy they don’t even want to fuck…but can’t help but jerk off to because it just happens to be there…people have weird fetishes, it’s just that simple, so Scarlett Johansson and her big nose may not be spread eagle doing a dance routine, but she’s still Scarlett Johansson, sometimes that’s enough for some…unfortunately, it’s not enough for me…but I am posting it anyway…cuz this bitch is overrated thanks to you virgin losers who don’t know how to move the fuck on…and I feel compelled to feed you idiots what you are into even if you should get over those things and even if the pictures suck…but unfortunately not as much as I suck…at life..
I never really got sucked into the Scarlett Johansson hype. I always saw a chunky, uninteresting girl with big enough tits and a nice enough face to look at, but nothing nearly as amazing as everyone seemed to think she was….she has flaws I just can’t ignore…unless of course I was dealing with them face to face, but since I’m not, I’ll judge her.
Sure she’s hot, I’d be an idiot to say she isn’t, but I can say she’s nothing special, I see girls as equally good on the daily and maybe I just have fucked up ideas of what makes a bitch hot or not….but I’m pretty sure she was a product of major fucking marketing…what I call big titty hype that got dudes excited….more than anything….cuz she has been consistently boring as fuck to watch….Never any drunken episode, nip slips or sex tapes, and as far as I’m concerned, that’s a sign of a bitch who thinks she’s too good and more important than she is. Fuck her.
But she photoshops well, so I figured I’d put these pictures up anyway.
Here are some voyeur pictures of Scarlett Johansson at the gym trying to slim down for old times cuz she realizes that a young chubby busty single chick brought her much more success than a thick older married chick and as a real voyeur, I am disappointed, I find them pics real fucking boring, and don’t understand why the paparazzi didn’t do what they were supposed to do and set up a camera in a locker that has a view of the showers like I’ve seen so many times on the internet, cuz a naked Scarlett Johansson is far more interesting than a clothed on, 15 pounds overweight or not.
Sloppy. But at least she’s doing something about it. Not that “doing something about it” has ever got me off, especially with my wife, cuz the only thing she does about the shit is just emotionally eat more food in one sitting than a small African Village eats in a week…
I have jerked off to vintage pictures from the 60s a few times. Once was when I was working in construction and found a tin box of nude photos, letters and a tuft of pubic hair in a pink kleenex in the wall we were demolishing….another time was when I was staying at my friend’s mother’s house out of town and she had a few framed family photos of their daughter in her bikini, a girl I found out died in a horrible accident a few hours after that picture was taken, making me feel like I fucked a ghost. I’ve also jerked off to old issues of Playboy…There’s just something about a aging photo shot on film of a woman I know has aged too, if she’s even still alive, that fires me up….
These pictures of Scarlett Johansson copying that shit isn’t quite as exciting as my experience with actual pictures from the 60s, but I guess it was a good enough try by Mango, except for the fact that she’s wearing clothes and a married woman who has lost pretty much all her sex appeal….but you may dig it.
I am just posting this Iron Man 2 poster for the virgin losers who think Scarlett Johansson still has it going on, or who already thing they’re engaged to her just based on the amount of times they’ve jerked off to her pictures between Role Playing videogames and the quality of the full body digital print they’ve managed to get on their bedsheets so that they feel like she’s in bed with them everynight, cuz that’s just how committed virgin loser comic book geeks are….
I figure at least one of you can jerk off to this movie poster, despite how fake she looks, because you’ve been getting off to cartoons for decades, so it’s not that much of a stretch…enjoy….