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Archive for the Shakira Category

2009

21

Oct

Shakira’s Got a Gunt of the Day

I am not sure if a new trend in Hollywood is to let yourself go and age the way nature intended your womanly ass to fucking age, but I do know that I’ve been seeing a lot of gunts lately and I don’t like it one bit. If I wanted to see fucking gunts, I’d join the senior citizen’s aquarobics class at the local community center, because 60+ is where I like to keep the gunts, not on barely 35 year old smuggled Columbian trash everyone is hard over standing around in some ridiculous lookin’ dress that’s squeezing her stomach into all the wrong places, like her menopausal, mom of 5, nature’s pillow in her pubis….I’m not diggin’ this,but your lonely ass probably is.

That’s enough gunt talk for the day…no onto better things…

Pics via Fame

Posted in:Gunt|Shakira|Tight Dress

2009

14

Oct

Shakira on Dancing with the Stars of the Day

I hate Shakira. Not only is her command of the english language shitty, but she sings in some weird tribal chant that shoulda been forgotten in Columbia where they appreciate that shit cuz they are all jacked on cocaine.

She did some Bollywood rip off performance that should offend India because it sucked and she shaked her ass because I guess that’s all she’s good for. I am really not diggin’ this at all, but then again why would I, this show is targeted to gay dudes and I guess this was for them, and I’m posting it for you because you haven’t accepted the fact that you’re gay yet. I’, just doin’ my part.

Posted in:Dancing With the Stars|Shakira

2009

12

Oct

Shakira in Fetish Gear for i-D Magazine of the Day

People seem to love Shakira now more than ever because of her comeback in that video everyone jerks off to, so some fashion magazine got her in some photoshoot where they dressed her in some fetish gear and I guess the whole thing is not worth complaining about, but I was always disgusted by girls in their 30s, so to me, Shakira died 2 years ago and no matter what she does will come across as trying too hard to hold onto a time when I was jerking off to her breasts that were small and humble, in a time before her hips didn’t lie….

Posted in:Fetish|i-D Magazine|Shakira

2009

01

Oct

Shakira Has Short Legs of the Day

Everyone is freaking the fuck out about Shakira’s body because she’s done her latin dance proper enough to lose the extra weight on her small titted backside, but all I see is a bitch with uncomfortably short legs. I’m talking bitch strugglin’ walking up stairs or getting into cars, or doin’ regular everyday Columbian things, like running from the police or drug sniffing dogs, and I don’t mean to be picky, cuz this bitch looks hotter than most, has more flavor than most and has the weirdest dance moves that would feel good on my penis at least based on her music video, bit seeing her in this ridiculous shoes is straight up Halloweening….yes, I just invented a word.

Pics via Bauer

Posted in:Legs|Shakira

2009

18

Sep

Shakira Dances on America’s Got Talent of the Day

Shakira was on America’s Got Talent a few days ago, because apparently you don’t need to be American to be the guest on the show, and she did her stupid dance every motherfucker is masturbating to, despite how fucking awkward lookin’ the shit is. The only reason I am posting this is because I just got on the computer and I am trying to buy time, it’s not because I think she’s got talent…

Posted in:Dance|Shakira|Slut

2009

16

Sep

Shakira’s Short Legs in Some Tight Jeans of the Day

Everyone has been freaking out about the new Shakira video that I assume has been out for a while, but that I slept on because I don’t really care about bitches who claim their breasts are small and humble, especailly when they aren’t 18 anymore, but according to all my creepy friends at the park, apparently shit is one of those music videos you can jerk off to, which hasn’t happened in a long time, and I guess she can get away with it cuz she pulls the “latin” card, you know where she claims her people are much more in touch with their sexuality and bodies, when in reality all the latin women I know have fat asses and are addicted to eating tacos and will stab you in the neck while you are sleeping because they dreamt you cheated on them, so I tend to stay away from that shit…especially when they sing with her the stupid sounds she makes with her throat that remind me of some kind of duck hunt, or tribal mating call, but I’m not gonna hate on her, even though these pics lead me to believe she’s got short, stalky legs and I hate that shit….

Pics via Fame

Posted in:Shakira|Tight Jeans

2009

17

Jul

Shakira in Some Leggings of the Day

I know that I’d rather see Shakira on all fours with an 14 inch dildo in her ass and a fist in her pussy because I hear when you get a Columbian girl enough coke, everything is fuckin’ possible, they are like cartoon pussy who do shit that other girls find impossible, but since that shit only happens in my imagination, I’ll settle for pictures of her in her leggings leaving the gym, because even though she’s 10 years older than when we first started our one-sided relationship, I still haven’t seen her pussy, so leggings are a good enough reminder that the popstar who got away, may have a second round, ideally a really fucking trashy round in her….ust next time, let’s get some shots from behind….because leggings without being able to check out the ass are really just a waste of fucking time…

Posted in:Leggings|Shakira

2009

04

May

Shakira’s Ass in Concert of the Day

The best thing to come out of Columbia since cocaine has got to be Shakira. Not because she reminds Wyclef of a Westside Story, or even because her ass is amazing, but because Columbia is a good for nothing piece of shit country that should be erased from the fucking map, I’m just kidding, I’ve never been to Columbia, I know nothing about Columbia, but where the fuck was I supposed to go with this post, when everyone knows she is the best thing out of Columbia since cocaine because because her ass is amazing. There’s nothing fun in that. I’d rather start wars and shit disturb. So that said, fuck you Columbia, you third rate Mexican wannabe cocksuckers.

Posted in:Ass|Concert|Shakira

2007

11

Jul

I am – Shakira's Ass of the Day

Shakira’s Ass

Shakira’s body defys all odds of physics as we know it, and I mean that in the best possible way. She gives hope to us young girls that we don’t have to starve ourselves in order be attractive. I also read somewhere she’s got an incredibly high IQ, but for all I know her publicist thought it would look good and just threw that in there to try and dim the fact that she looks like a stripper 98% of the time, which may or may not be a bad thing depending who you talk to.

I go to school with this girl who wants to be a stripper, no shit. She wrote about it in an essay for our Creative Writing class in a sort of “What do you want to be when you grow up?” type thing. It wasn’t some shit like “Oh, I wanna do it to put myself through med school” (which is always a lie btw) or even “I just wanna do it to make some cash.” this is actually what she wants to do for a living.

The look on the teachers face was priceless when she walked up to read her essay, and the content was filled with choosing a name which projects the type of image you wish to be known by, how she plans to deal with other strippers who want to fight her, and the art of using the pole to the best of her ability. Most of the girls just shifted uncomfortably in their desks, while the guys all seemed to have a new interest in her after class. I just laughed my ass off at the fact that my stepfather would probably be throwing dollar bills at her within the next 6 months.

Posted in:Ass|Shakira|Uncategorized|Unsorted

2007

11

Jul

I am – Shakira’s Ass of the Day

Shakira’s Ass

Shakira’s body defys all odds of physics as we know it, and I mean that in the best possible way. She gives hope to us young girls that we don’t have to starve ourselves in order be attractive. I also read somewhere she’s got an incredibly high IQ, but for all I know her publicist thought it would look good and just threw that in there to try and dim the fact that she looks like a stripper 98% of the time, which may or may not be a bad thing depending who you talk to.

I go to school with this girl who wants to be a stripper, no shit. She wrote about it in an essay for our Creative Writing class in a sort of “What do you want to be when you grow up?” type thing. It wasn’t some shit like “Oh, I wanna do it to put myself through med school” (which is always a lie btw) or even “I just wanna do it to make some cash.” this is actually what she wants to do for a living.

The look on the teachers face was priceless when she walked up to read her essay, and the content was filled with choosing a name which projects the type of image you wish to be known by, how she plans to deal with other strippers who want to fight her, and the art of using the pole to the best of her ability. Most of the girls just shifted uncomfortably in their desks, while the guys all seemed to have a new interest in her after class. I just laughed my ass off at the fact that my stepfather would probably be throwing dollar bills at her within the next 6 months.

Posted in:Ass|Shakira|Uncategorized|Unsorted

2007

26

Mar

I am – Shakira's Bra of the Day

shakira_bra_top.jpg

I was pretty fucking drunk last night and I don’t really remember anything funny happening except maybe the dude who I caught finger banging some slut he must have met in a bar on a park bench near the bench I rock. It was like a live sex show that didn’t turn me on because I could smell her ratty box from my seat. Don’t get me wrong, random fat girls who let random dudes finger bang them is what makes my world go round but I guess I am just too desensitized to appreciate it.

Speakin’ of desensitized, here is Shakira in see-through, something I have seen so many times a couldn’t give a fuck about it but will post it anyway because you are a fuckin loser and get off to this shit. Loser.

Posted in:Shakira|Unsorted

2007

26

Mar

I am – Shakira’s Bra of the Day

shakira_bra_top.jpg

I was pretty fucking drunk last night and I don’t really remember anything funny happening except maybe the dude who I caught finger banging some slut he must have met in a bar on a park bench near the bench I rock. It was like a live sex show that didn’t turn me on because I could smell her ratty box from my seat. Don’t get me wrong, random fat girls who let random dudes finger bang them is what makes my world go round but I guess I am just too desensitized to appreciate it.

Speakin’ of desensitized, here is Shakira in see-through, something I have seen so many times a couldn’t give a fuck about it but will post it anyway because you are a fuckin loser and get off to this shit. Loser.

Posted in:Shakira|Unsorted