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Archive for the Tara Reid Category

2009

24

Jul

Tara Reid is Still Alive and She’s in Some Shorts of the Day

Tara Reid was at some party and I thought she was trying to seduce the bottles of booze, at least it looks like she’s coming onto it pretty hard, all pussy out and ready to take it all in, but it turns out she’s got a new man and his name is Michael Axtmann….

Now, Michael Axtmann is a really lucky guy. Not only did he get Tara Reid ten years after her prime, you know so that he doesn’t have to deal with pretty much anyone wanting to fuck her, except for maybe a few latch-ons who can’t let go, because after years of hard drinking and drug use while not working, people tend to forget about you, as long as they are OCD creepy chronic masturbations, but he also gets Carson Daly’s sloppy fuckin’ seconds and that’s something I’m not too sure I’d be able to live with, I’m talking murder suicide after someone tells me a bitch I am with banged Carson Daly, no matter how much younger or crazier she was. Not to mention everytime he pulls down her pants, not only does he see Carson lookin’ back at him, but he also realizes he’s hallucinating thanks to whatever fumes she’s got seeping out of her pussy, pores and pretty much all her orifices as her body tries to eliminate the pollution.

I guess the good news for her is that he’s German and has no problem with the fact that she’s lost control of her bowels, if anything that’s probably the reason why he’s with her…

And here she is in shorts and I think I’m in love.

Posted in:Beach|Love|Shorts|Tara Reid

2009

18

May

Tara Reid’s Got France in her Pants Pics of the Day

Tara Reid’s heart may be close to death from all the cocaine she’s done over the years. You know, one more line and bitch gets Heath Ledgered/River Phoenixed/Chris Farleyed/John Belushied.

But she’s never gonna be dead to me.

Here she is in a bikini in Cannes showing off that sometimes a set of fake tits are like the cherry on the sundae, even though I hate fake tits, not to mention knowing the kind of partying this bitch has gone through over the years, I am sure their perkiness would be a nice change of pace from her sloppy, mangled, hanging vagina.

Here she is after partying….

Here she is arriving in Cannes….

Posted in:Bikini|France|Tara Reid|Tits

2009

15

May

Tara Reid in Cannes of the Day

Tara Reid is still alive. Just a heads up.

I feel like death.

Let’s hope this is some Ghost whisperer preminintion shit to rid the world of a cunt like me.

Posted in:Cannes|Tara Reid

2009

23

Mar

Tara Reid’s Lookin’ Hot of the Day

Tara Reid seems to be bringing back the good. You know she was a time when the only thing wrong with her was that she was fucking Carson Daly, then that ended and she just spiraled into some permanent spring break party, lookin’ haggard, depressing and pathetic, unable to hold down a job, then turning to shitty plastic surgery that I assume she got while jacked on pills in Thailand, cuz it was all she could afford at the time, resulting in her being publicly humilated when her numb tit fell out of her dress, and her battered lipo stomach that looked like she lost a fight with farm equipment, and throughout that time, I always wanted to fuck her, even when drunk, during a herpes outbreak, with some random frat boy’s sperm dripping out of her mangled pussy. She is pretty fucking hot.

Posted in:Hot|Tara Reid

2008

16

Dec

Tara Reid’s Celebrating Her 30th Birthday of the Day

I’ve had a few people email these pictures of Tara Reid at Rox Bar in Miami celebrating her 30th birthday claiming they were taken yesterday, a day after she was admitted into rehab, or at least a day after her PR person tried to orchestrate this stunt, It didn’t make sense to me, at first I thought maybe the rehab story was a lie, to distract bar owners nd bouncers from stopping the puke covered Reid from getting in their club, because they’ll think it’s just a look a like because the real one’s in rehab, or maybe it has to do with securing a potential role, but then I figured out, thanks to Google, that her bithday is in November and that these shits aren’t of her back in action, sucking the booze like it was Carson Daly, and that she may actually be in rehab trying to clean up her act because she’s turned soft and boring. Either way, I am posting them to clear up the air to the 2 people who emailed me this shit, who happen to be the 2 people who read this site.

Posted in:Birthday|Tara Reid

2008

15

Dec

Tara Reid Hosts a Party in Rehab of the Day

So Tara Reid is in rehab and wants her privacy at this time. They aren’t saying what she’s in for, but I am guessing it’s got something to do with partying, because that’s all she does. She’s got enough money to not have to work and gets invited to parties around the world, and has a serious need to self medicate, something we all do to forget our horrible past and the bad decisions we’ve made along the way and in Tara Reid’s case, that baggage is Carson Daly. Something, I probably would have killed myself over, you know I thought fucking a fat chick and marrying her to remind myself that I hate myself was bad enough, but having Carson Daly inside you….I mean….that’s a fate I wish on nobody….so the fact she’s made it out of it long enough to get herself into rehab and to go through the needed therapy to forget his naked body up against hers, is already a pretty huge feat, maybe Tara Reid is really that superhero I always thought she was….

Either way, here’s the article…..

‘American Pie’ star Tara Reid checks into rehab

2 days ago

LOS ANGELES (AP) — A publicist says Tara Reid has checked herself into rehab. Jack Ketsoyan said Friday that the “American Pie” star went to the Promises Treatment Center. He did not specify what she was being treated for or when she entered the facility.

“We appreciate your respect to her and her family’s privacy at this time,” he said in a statement.

And here are some random pictures of her on her perpetual Spring Break that is her life…..a Spring Break that was fueled by whatever she is in Rehab for…..One that Rehab is going to put an end to…..

Posted in:Drunk|Rehab|Tara Reid

2008

23

Oct

Tara Reid’s Hard Nipple Looks Better in Clothes of the Day

Tara Reid has taught me so much out of life. First,i there’s no reason to not treat everyday like it’s a fucking party if you have made stupid money in stupid movies and you don’t really need to work the 9-5 grind like an asshole and instead can spend your life drinking and tanning around the world in a bikini. Second, that if you lose a bet that requires you to get plastic surgery on the dancefloor by some contraband plastic surgeon in a third world country, take the high road and don’t go through with the shit, because your nipples and stomach will suffer. Third, if you are engaged to an MTV VJ who has dreams of having his own talkshow that no one watches, escape when you ca and today she teaches us that wearing a shirt makes you look a fuck of a lot better than wearing a bikini, because your hard nipples aim in the right place and we don’t have to get distracted by the mess of scars we can’t avoid when you are half naked. So I guess she’s not a useless party slut after all, but instead a philosopher changing the way we think at least changing the way we think about her, because these hard nipple pics save those bikini pics….

Posted in:Hard Nipple|Implants|Tara Reid

2008

21

Oct

Tara Reid in Some More Bikini Pictures of the Day

Tara Reid is still out in a bikini showing up the body she destroys after losing a bet at a Full Moon party in Thailand during the course of her everlasting spring break, where if she didn’t finish a bottle of that Cobra Venom shit the crazy Thai people drink, she’d have to get botched plastic surgery from some back alley sex change operator in Bangkok and her mangled body is the result. Some say that the she could have afforded to hire a real American plastic surgeon in LA, and don’t understand why she didn’t and the answer to that is that it bought into her party time. In Thailand they do it at the party and in America, there’s this whole hospital rules, regulations and formalities bullshit that isn’t doing body shots while getting surgery, while in Thailand, it is highly recommended because it saves the cost of anesthtic. The truth is that I could be wrong about this, maybe it wasn’t Thailand at all, maybe she got her cheap unregulated horrible result surgery in Mexico, or Brazil, or Peurto Rico, because there is no way this shit was done by a trained American Doctor, and if it was, dude needs to lose his motherfuckin’ license. Like that time I lost my license to ill when I found out that the Beastie Boys were Jewish.
Or the time I lost my License to Lady Kill when I realized I don’t know what that means. Or the time I lost my License to Drive You Crazy….Okay time to stop this now.


Since the paparazzi want me dead and I want to continue talking about Tara Reid’s hot washed up party slut body, I have no choice but to link out to another site. That’s just how things are when you’re ghetto like me.
GO

Posted in:Bikini|Tara Reid

2008

20

Oct

The Sun is Setting On Tara Reid’s Permanent Spring Break of the Day

Sloppy skinny girls, or what I used to call “Slim-Fats” are usually a hell of a lot worse to fuck that fat chicks, paritally because they are false advertising and I hate being led to, but mainly because they are just these loose skinned dumpy things being held together with tight clothing and when your hand gets lost in saggy ass cheek between bone and anus, it’s hard to stay hard. At least with fat chicks, you know what you’re getting from the start and usually you don’t care what they look like naked, as long as they have a vagina, because you are horny enough to even be talking to them in the first place, and once you get their clothes off you realize that shit may be disgusting, but her obesity feels a lot firmer than you expected because her skin is so taut, like the skin of a drum working overtime to keep her fat from busting out at the seams. It’s the difference of putting a condom on a huge dick, versus a pencil dick, not that I have experience in either, but I was trying to find something you could relate to, like the guy I know who used to jerk off with condoms to get used to using them provided a girl every slept with him….

Either way, it looks like last call is around the corner for Tara Reid, the pool swim up bar is closing, the sun is setting and hurricane season is moving in. The resort is closing and the patrons have all gone back to their every day lives with nothing but memories and herpes, both last for life, but one is a lot more of a mood killer during first date conversation over dinner, Spring Break is over, for most it lasts a week, for Tara Reid, it’s lasted 10 years.

She’s past her prime and she’s had her time. Now she’s just the sloppy lookin’ fake titty whore with a tan at the public pool while her kids are taking swimming lessons, remember the good ol’ days at Club Med where she had her first gangbang and got on stage naked after too much tequila, and it’s a pretty sad day for all of us, because she was living the dream, an inspiration to us all, and it’s done. RIP Tara Reid Motherfucker and your slaughtered ass, the real casuality of this lifestyle of excess.

Posted in:Ass|Bikini|Tara Reid