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Archive for the Uma Thurman Category

2013

08

Jul

Uma Thurman in Bikini of the Day


This just in, Uma Thurman is still not a man, despite what her hands have been trying to tell us all these years…and she still confidently put on a bikini, even if there should have been a little resistance on her part, you know a little insecurity, self doubt…negotiations as to whether there were other options for her…but I’ll still stare but more because I’m trying to understand why I have the same bikini body as her…am I the one with the pear shaped problem with high estrogen levels thanks to not taking care of myself…or is she the pear shaped body with high testosterone…or worse..am I Uma Thurman? Or do I just look like her in a bikini…too many questions I don’t have answers for, this is too deep for me this hungover in the day… but I do have the pics of UMA and I Date you to look at them……

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Posted in:Uma Thurman

2012

29

Mar

Uma THurman’s Big Filled Uterus in a Bathing Suit of the Day

Earlier today, when I was fully absorbed in my hangover and not thinking straight, because I live with an obese woman and she has that effect on me….I made a crazy statement about MY BIOLOGICAL CLOCK TICKING CUZ I KEEP SEEING MOMS WITH NICE ASSES ….but these Uma Thurman, man hands, squatting on her yacht, you know ready to drop in a way I think the baby’s head crowning through her bathing suit, or maybe that’s just her mangled twat from other pregnancies, brought me back down to earth……gave me that perspective I needed….parasite fetus in womb is marketed as being natural…but shit is straight out of a sci/fi movie.


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Posted in:Uma Thurman

2011

30

Nov

Uma Thurman’s Got Fat Tits of the Day

Unlike Tarantino, I do not find Uma Thurman hot. She’s built like a fucking tank. Her hands are big enough to make even the biggest dick look like it is tiny and getting jerked off by a jolly green giant, a fetish to some, but not to me, cuz as a dude with a small penis, I only hire hookers with deformed hands, you know all underdeveloped and the size of a 5 year olds’….not that it matters, she’s showing cleavage, and that’s all you sick fucks care about, you’d fuck a AIDS baby in africa without a condom if it had a set of fucking implants.

You disgust me.

Posted in:Uma Thurman

2011

11

May

Uma Thurman’s Titty in a White Dress of the Day

I never found Uma Thurman hot…that was not until today….I guess she go some good botox, make-up artist, photographer, slimming pants, I don’t fucking know, I just know that her white dress that would suck to get her period in, provided she still gets her period, and isn’t too old to get her period, makes me ignore her manly hands and hard face that I’ve never seemed to get over all these years in trying to figure out why Tarantino was hard for her and put her in all her movies….until just coming to the conclusion that film nerds, even rich and successful onces people consider a genius, are still fucking nerds and get happy when all girls, even average at best with man hands answer their calls. True story.

Posted in:Uma Thurman

2011

06

May

Uma Thurman’s Sexed Up Schweppes Commercial of the Day

I’m guessing Uma Thurman is doing the “I can’t get that much work, but China is willing to pay me 100,000,000 dollars to be in a shitty commercial” hustle….Not that this is an ad from China, but it is an ad, and you know when a celebrity starts doing ads, they’re out for the money.

That said, I don’t know what the fuck Schweppes was thinking lining this bitch up with a part that implies sex on any level, everytime she mentions where she wants to have “schweppes” I crings as I look at her man hands that would make my dick look like more of a clit while in the handjob positions….

And I think to myself, why the fuck didn’t they hire someone for the same amount of money, who the general public actually wants to think about having sex, and not just someone Quentin Tarantino used to make use a strap-on for him in exchange for endless roles in his movie…

You see, this is a major disconnect from what the people want and what the gay marketers think we want.

But watch it anyway, you may like it, you know, with the whole closet case shit you’re going through….

Posted in:Uma Thurman

2010

12

May

Uma Thurman Old and Sloppy Tit of the Day

I was never a fan of Uma Thurman. There was never anything hot about her, except maybe her big tits, but like all things attached to a woman, they age and end up sloppy as fuck….but I have a feeling that your comic book loving, virgin, tit loving cuz you weren’t breast fed and haven’t played with enough tits, seeing the real deal Uma Thurman is far more exhilerating than the Kill Bill action figure you’ve been stuffing into your ass the last Monday for the last three years, cuz Tuesday is for Rose McGowan, Wednesday Rosario Dawson, Thursday for Sarah Michelle Gellar and the rest of the week is for the other women you see in movies who your delusional ass thinks you are married to because you stapled her pics to your bed…..

Pics via Fame

Posted in:old|Sloppy|Uma Thurman

2009

28

Dec

Uma Thurman’s Ex-Fiance’s Got New “Pussy” of the Day

Here’s a fucking useless piece of information….this is Uma Thurman’s ex-fiance on the beach with his new girlfriend….she’s in her bikini and looks pretty fucking masculine…I guess this guy is into chicks who looks like they should have dicks….

Pics via Fame

Posted in:Arpad Busson|Bikini|Ex-Fiance|Slut|Uma Thurman

2009

30

Apr

Uma Thurman Sloppy Tits of the Day

I just shoved my finger in an 18 year old girl’s mouth sexually and it wasn’t a hit.

I don’t know why, it was impulsive but I am sure it had to do with her perky tits being in my fucking face.

It wasn’t a random attack. I know the girl from around, she works the cash at the pharmacy down the street from me and we talk sometimes, that’s why I was so shocked when she called her manager and had me escorted out after I took things to the next level.

I hate pointing the “blame” finger, I rather stick it in a girl’s mouth/vagina/anus, but she was totally asking for it with those half-exposed fucking tits. Tits I can only imagine Uma once had when she was 18. But now she’s just a sloppy mess.

Posted in:Sloppy|Tits|Uma Thurman

2008

16

Jul

Uma Thurman is a Mess in a Bikini of the Day

I decided to go out and get a sandwich and was stuck waiting in line behind what I thought was a normal fat middle aged construction worker. He turned as was looking my direction and I didn’t think anything of it. My hands were full cuz I was carrying some shit and my hair was in my eyes, in one of my gayer maneuvers, I whisked my hair back like some kind of supermodel in a beach photoshoot, unintentionally. This caught the construction workers attention and dude was staring at me straight up llike I was also some kind of bear and we were going to go fuck in the back of his pick up truck. I ignored the looks, ordered my sandwich and when I asked her to put salami on it, the motherfucker licked his lips and moaned “mmmmm, i love salami”. I didn’t know how to react so I did what any normal person would do and followed him to the bathroom to suck his dick.

No seriously, you should never turn down a hook up, but I am not inot that whole gay thing, I just ended up paying and leaving the place feeling like I had just been raped, but with a new ego boost, because if horny gay overweight construction workers want a piece, there’s bound to be a girl equally desperate out there.

Speaking of overweight dudes who like to fuck, here are some Uma Thruman pregnancy bikini pictures from the other day, because I am slow moving.

Posted in:Bikini|Uma Thurman