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Archive for the Unsorted Category

2007

05

Dec

I am – Sophie Monk’s Pretty Good Tits of the Day

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I have a thing for Sophie Monk. She’s a tall blonde chick with a hot body and interesting lookin’ face and I am convinced she’s one of the hottest things out there. The only drawback is that she’s dating a gay dude, and as much as I turn to the gays to serve me coffee at Starbucks, or randomly give me uninvited advice about how I should dress when on the street, I get kinda thrown off when I find out they’re fucking girls I want to fuck.

Gay is trendy and every girl wants a gay, it’s like a fashion accessory every girl needs to have. What they don’t realize is that gay is a con being pulled on them because this whole gay thing gets pussy. First, by winning a girl’s trust so that they get naked or half naked in front of dude. Then by opening up and getting the girls to tell them about how they like to fuck and about their ex-bf’s cocks and all this shit that straight dudes are privileged enough to hook up, because they think straight dudes are predators and don’t realize that gays are too, they are just more smooth about things, until one night when they’ve both had too much to drink and feel experimental and the girl jumps on that gay dick as fast as she can, because she feels that she had the power to convert a motherfucker and that makes her feel good about herself.

Either way, I would still eat her shit, like we were in 2 Girls 1 Cup, even if shit tasted like Joel Madden’s cum, because he only slams her in the ass, it’s less “hetero” that way and lets him reflect on the years he shared a room with his brother when they were young, horny and experimental, while crying about how things will never be the same again….


Related Posts:

Sophie Monk Lookin’ Hot Shopping
Sophie Monk Does Christmas Rehearsals Last Year
Sophie Monk’s Boyfriend is a Cunt
Sophie Monk is Wasting Her Vagina
Sophie Monk’s Got Skinny Legs

Posted in:Unsorted

2007

05

Dec

I am – Cindy Crawford’s Stretch-marked Belly of the Day

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Here are some pictures of Cindy Crawford’s stomach lookin’ like shit just got off the set of a horror movie, but I’m all for being scared by ex-supermodels, because pregnancy stretch marks are a hell of a lot less offensive than my wife’s obesity stretch marks, and probably smell a lot better.

I always make jokes with pregnant chicks, or girls who just had babies about what they would do if their baby came out ugly. Some of them play along with me and tell me about how they’d get a third trimester abortion like they were in China, or they’d just release the fucker out into the wild to fend for itself and if it found it’s way home, it’d be worth keeping because it would mean that it was too smart or driven to give away to the neighbors or that professional couple that can’t have kids and that they’d just pretend the kid was their dead sister’s and they got stuck with it after the “accident”.

I know the reality is that all mother’s think their kids are amazing, that’s why they all brag about the useless shit their kids do everyday to each other, like the when the kid pisses itself or smiles or giggles or does something cute, like shit was the most amazing thing to the rest of us, because it’s the most amazing thing to them.

I think the whole fascination that they went through all this suffering and threw away their lives and bodies for this fuckin’ thing and that makes a person delusional, because otherwise they’d look vain and selfish and like an unfit mother. So they pretend that the thing is beautiful and was worth it all the suffering and destruction to their once rockin’ body. Admitting that it was mistake to start a family, especially when your uterus wronged you and your stomach never bounced back to the way it was and now you hate the way you look in the mirror would just lead someone to suicide, while lying to yourself about how happy life is now that you’re a mom and that you love your mom body is a good way to keep on living.

It’s kinda the same reason you’re going to marry a fat ugly bitch and pretend she’s everything you always wanted in a woman, because she’s all you can get and that my friend, is better than being alone. I know we aren’t friends, but I just felt like being personable. Cuddles.


Related Posts:

Cindy Crawford’s Muff in a 1989 Bloomingdale’s Catalog
Cindy Crawford Bikini Part 1
Cindy Crawford Bikini Part 2
Cindy Crawford’s Still Posing

Posted in:Stretchmarks|Unsorted

2007

05

Dec

I am – Mary Carey Auctions Off Her Fake Tits of the Day

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The pornstar for Governor, Mary Carey, is auctioning off her dirty used implants that she had removed, like some kind of barbarian freak. Now I am not much of a clean person because I don’t really wash myself often and smell often, but I get pretty fucking disgusted by other people’s filth. Like I can’t share a drink with someone because the thought of their AIDS spit makes me feel sick to my fucking stomach so when they ask me for a sip, like I’m some ex-convict working at the warehouse store handing out samples of Sunny D, and not like a motherfucker who’s enjoying his drink without their dirty lips on my shit, I usually tell them to fuck themselves.

That story has pretty much nothing to do with these dirty fucking porn sacks of shit, other than the thought of a pornstar’s pussy grosses me the fuck out and that shit’s usually pretty external, so thinking about her used up fake tits is a whole other level of weird.

The real issue in all these is the creepy dude with too much money and no social skills who is going to buy this shit and justify it because the money goes to charity and everyone will play it off as a joke, except maybe his family when he brings the tits out to Christmas dinner and introduces them to the family as his wife he bought on ebay, when he could have called Mary Carey’s agent and fucked her for about 500 dollars an hour on camera.

The only reason this shit pisses me off is because I got slack when I was trying to sell used panties on the internet a couple years ago when I was more ambitious about internet businesses, everyone I came across told me I was a sick fuck and ebay canceled my fucking auctions 10 different tries before I gave up on my dreams, but selling fake tits that were inside a whore is more socially accepted…..


Related Posts:

Tera Patrick’s Huge Rack Pictures
Jesse Jane’s Pornstar Tits
Jenna Jameson on the Runway
Mary Carey at Some Pink Taco Opening Party

Posted in:Mary Carey|Unsorted

2007

05

Dec

I am – stepLINKS of the Day

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I was at the pharmacy buying my wife some maxipads because she can’t use tampons, they don’t touch the walls of her massive vagina, but you don’t care about that, so I started talking to some 20 year old girl in a mini skirt in the cosmetic section and I asked her to sit on my lap and tell me what she wanted for Christmas….she turned around and called me a pervert so I told her that I’m not the pervert – Santa is and if she hates Santa then she’s not welcome on my lap, because everyone loves him even the Jews.

Speaking of Jews, here are my links:

Watch Topless Girls Playing Wii
GO

O-Face or Infomercial Face
GO

Lohan is Working and Dressed Like a Biker Princess
GO

Helena Bonham Carter’s Boobs
GO

Cheryl Cole Shows Off Her Side Boob
GO

Watch This Armless Guitarist Rock Out With His Feet
GO

Some Photobucket Tits
GO

Vanessa Hudgens and Her Dog
GO

Share is the Cougar of the Day
GO

T-Pain Has No Talent – Watch Him Live….
GO

Some Nicole Scherzinger’s Booty and Cleavage in a Dress
GO

Some Girl Named Kayden Kross Naked
GO

This Guy Gets Caught Sniffing Panties and Gets in Trouble…
GO

An Old Lady Slaps a Man and Her Punches Her in the Face
GO

Wrong Beauty Queen Gets Crowned Video
GO

Lohan is Fucking Heath Ledger Which Means She’s Cheating on her Lame Boyfriend and that Means She’s One Step Closer to Getting Pregnant…
GO

Cate Blanchett Shows Off Her Baby Bump and I hate that People Call Pregnant Bellies Baby Bumps…
GO

Tyra Show Us How to Breast Feed Video
GO

Photobucket Ass
GO

Some Drunk Dude Rockin’ Out To Britney Spears
GO

Watch a Three Titted Chick Rub Her Three Tits
GO

Some Girl Fucking A Cucumber….
GO

Jordan’s Gay Boyfriend Admits to Having a Crush on Boy George Because He’s Gay
GO

Watch Some Girl In Very Little Clothing Exercising….
GO

A Whole Lot of Naked Chicks Together on a Bed….
GO

Download the Cool Kids Album
GO

Eva Green’s Nipples and Pubic Hair Poll
GO

Vacation Photos Gone Good and By Good I Mean NAked
GO

Some Hot Chick Named Nicole Lenz in a Bikini Lookin’ Hot
GO

Some Chick Named Paz Vega at some Movie Rock Party
GO

Some Whore Named Alexis Love Interview
GO

Ashley Olsen Molested By Selma Blair
GO

A Natasha Hamilton in Pictures Moment
GO

Some Girls Ass Implant Went Weird and It’s Pretty Fucking Funny
GO

Pete Doherty is Cool and Has White Powder All Over His Pants
GO

New Jennifer Lopez Music Video
GO

Coffin Cuties 2008 Necrophilia Calenday
GO

Check Out The Spirit Airlines MILF Sale
GO

Go Behind the Scenes with Nicole Scherzinger in London
GO

Cydni Lauper Uses Helium to Sing and You Care Because You’re a ‘Mo
GO

Music Video With Panties
GO

Aaron Carter Got in a Fender Bender Exclusive
GO

Truck Stop Megan Fox in a Rock and Roll T-Shirt to Compensate For Her Boyfriend Being a Fag….
GO

Find Out What Porn Site Is Best For You….
GO

No Girlfriend? This Will Help You Get Sex
GO

This is Where You’ll Find People To Have Sex With
GO

FROM THE FORUM:

More Depeche Mode
GO

More I feel myself videos
GO

More Peachez BJ videos
GO

More M.I.A.
GO

Radiohead – In Rainblow CD2
GO

More Radiohead – Paranoid Android single
GO

Posted in:Unsorted

2007

04

Dec

I am – Gemma Atkinson’s Surfing in a Bikini of the Day

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Here are some pictures of Gemma Atkinson taking some surfing lessons in Autralia this past weekend.

The funny thing about Gemma Atkinson is that bitch is some sort of desired piece of ass in the UK, further proving my theory that the only hot girl in the UK is the fuckin’ Queen, but that’s just because I am turned on by her power and her etiquette since I consider myself a classy mother fucker who is forced to leave in trashy hell with a woman who don’t know what a metal fork is because washing utensils bites into her eating time and she’d use a shovel if she good.

So lookin at her average chubby body and busted face makes me realize that she got her breast implants to try and thin her out, because it is easier than hitting the gym or watching what she eats because that’s too much work for a useless party slut who likes eating sausage, the food not the penis and gets paid to flaunt her useless implants that even I could get if I had enough money, and should save for that shit because it seems like a pretty decent life. Then you could jerk off to me and it’d probably be equally exciting but that’s just cuz I exude sex, and by exude sex I mean smell like dirty pussy because I haven’t showered and spilled chicken soup on myself 4 days ago and it’s starting to smell fishy.

BONUS: Some Possibly Old, Possibly New Pictures of Gemma Atkinson in a Brown Bikini Because You Like Her Big Tits….


Related Posts:

Gemma Atkinson’s Hairy Stomach in a Bikini
Gemma Atkinson’s Lingerie Photoshoot
Gemma Atkinson’s Cherry Bikini
Gemma Atkinson’s Poolside Bikini Pictures

Posted in:Bikini|Gemma Atkinson|Surfing|Unsorted

2007

04

Dec

I am – Hayden Panettiere’s Showin’ Off Some Leg of the Day

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My day is pretty incomplete if I don’t get to post on Hayden Panettiere. I find myself lookin’ at anything boxy from TVs to Buses to Heavy Machinery to men walking out of the gym and the only thing I think about is Hayden. Here are pictures of her leaving the gym in a pair of shorts, showing off her hot model legs, and by model legs, I mean short and ripped and modeling for midget fetish sites, leading me to believe that the last place this bitch should be walking out of is a fuckin’ gym, because although strong legs are good for bouncing on fat lazy man dick, they aren’t too nice to look at and since you’ll never fuck her, lookin’ at her legs is as close as you’ll probably get.

This post is fuckin’ amateur, but I can’t always be on. I am not a dancing monkey who performs on command, but I’d totally fuck a dancing monkey, but only if I dressed it up in a blonde wig and call it Hayden.


Related Posts:

Hayden Panettiere’s Pickin’ Her Wedgie and Lickin’ Her Hand
Hayden Panettiere Eating Peanut Butter
Hayden Panettiere Buying Thong
Hayden Panettiere’s Upskirt Pictures

Posted in:Unsorted

2007

04

Dec

I am – Jennifer Love Hewitt Snackin’ In Her Bikini of the Day

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Here are some more of the Jennifer Love Hewitt pictures that show her snacking. Now I know she made some statement about how girls should love their bodies and shit, but what kind of lesson is she teaching today’s youth who are already battling with obesity, when she sits on the beach like a lazy pig and stuffs her fuckin’ face. I guess the only good thing about these pictures is that she’s covering her fat gut because it shows that she knows she’s got a belly and she’s insecure about that shit, but also because it saves us all from having to look at the shit.

I feel bad for Jennifer Love Hewitt’s love. I don’t think dude knew what he signed up for and is already in too deep. It’s like when you marry the prom queen and after a couple of years and realization that her life is fucking shit and all she does is sit at home watching Soap Operas and emotionally eating, she packs on 50 lbs and isn’t the vagina you thought you’d spend the rest of your life with. Only in Jennifer Love Hewitt’s love case, the shit has already hit the fan and he’s not even locked in, once the security of marriage hits, bitch is going to explode….and he’ll be stuck jerking off to old photoshoots of her from her prime, the girl he thought he was going to end up with and at the rate things are going….so will you.

Image Removed due to Papparazzi

Bonus – Some Jennifer Love Hewitt and Her Boyfriend Walking Together….She’s So In Love…He’s Planning an Escape…First Marry the Desperate Fat Chick Without a Prenup, Knock Her Up then Leave Her For The Younger Hotter Mistress and Get Half of her Party of 8 Money…..The Parrott is Just Thrown in There to Help Make His Story of Love for Jennifer Love More Believable….


Related Posts:

Jennifer Love Hewitt’s Fat Fucking Ass in a Bikini
Jennifer Love Hewitt’s Skinnier Ass in a Bikini
Jennifer Love Hewitt’s Fat Ass Grocery Shopping When it Shouldn’t
Jennifer Love Hewitt in a Pretty Hot Photoshoot from Before She Got Fat

Posted in:Unsorted

2007

04

Dec

I am – Jessica Alba Hiding from the Camera of the Day

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Here are some pictures of Jessica Alba at the airport hiding from the paparazzi because she doesn’t want them to see her face. I was going to say that there’s nothing worse than when you get with a girl and she’s insecure about shit. Like too shy to pee in the bathroom near you because she’s scared you’ll hear her pee, or if she makes you fuck her in the dark because she doesn’t want you to see the stupid facial expressions she makes or her body jiggle in ways she’s not comfortable with, or when getting dressed or hiding her ass from you by covering it with a towel or a shirt after you’re through with her because if I just slammed her, I got no issues lookin’ at her imperfections, if I just came, the whole world is a brighter and happier place. Not that you’d know anything about that.

That said, there’s nothing wrong with Jessica Alba’s face and she shouldn’t worry about us making fun of shit unless she has a cold sore in which case I’d have no choice to talk about her herpes but that’s because I’m a legitimate news source.


Related Posts:

Jessica Alba’s Bikini Photoshoot Ass
Jessica Alba in a Blue Bikini
Jessica Alba’s Black Bikini
Jessica Alba’s Nipples in a Bikini

Posted in:Camera|Unsorted

2007

04

Dec

I am – Eve’s Got Some Fuckin’ Cleavage of the Day

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I got some hate mail that I don’t post enough black girls, because apparently some of you people are black or into black chicks an I am for welcoming different ethnicities because drunenstepfather is a worldly organization that doesn’t close it’s doors on anyone, because I can’t. It’s the internet and you can’t tell who’s who or what’s what and that’s why I don’t have enough hot girls reading this shit.

Either way, here are some pictures of Eve’s cleavage because rumor has it that she’s black and not just wearing make-up, even though she probably hopes those shitty tattoos were make up, because now they are there for life. I asked this black dude I know from the building what he thought of Eve’s tits and he told me they were small, so she’s obviously rockin’ a push-up bra, and despite it being misleading as shit, I’ll never bang Eve, so I’m happy lookin’ at her cleavage no matter where shit came from.

I knew a girl who had these massive fuckin’ tits. She told me that she wasn’t always stacked like that and that she had a choice to make when she was in her 20s whether to save up for breast implants or eat junk food and fast food as much as possible, knowing that eventually shit would wind up in her tits. What she didn’t sign up for was the ass and gut that came with her plan, but the 5 dollars a day was still easier to spend than the $5k in one shot. It was strictly a financial decision and she’s still working the strip club and making money offering discount dances, because it turns out dudes like fat chicks when it means saving money. Cuddles.


Related Posts:

Jewel’s Got Weird Cleavage
Carmen Electra’s Crazy Cleavage
Mariah Carey’s Got Cleavage
Britney Spears Crazy Cleavage

Posted in:Black|Eve|Unsorted

2007

04

Dec

I am – Amy Winehouse in a Bra of the Day

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Amy Winehouse was seen at 6 am walking the streets barefoot in her bra lookin’ like she just woke up for an refreshing good night’s sleep and I think she’s lookin’ pretty hot, but I also think a plastic bag of ground beef is hot, that’s just because I live with a wife who is about as sexy as the shit she leaves smeared on our toilet seat, which is actually a lot hotter than it sounds, but still leaves me impotent.

The reality is that I am a monogamous masturbater. That pretty much means that when I used to jerk off I would only do it to the same girl over and over again, like we were in some kind of relationship she never knew about. If I wasn’t impotent, Amy Winehouse would be that girl but that’s just because I have a thing for skinny girls who are down and out and on the verge of death because I know that if she knew someone was jerking off to her, maybe she’d feel a little better about themselves and wouldn’t overdose. I am a hero like that.

Just remember if you see a girl on the street lookin’ like this, don’t run away, she’s already half naked and she’s probably easy pickings so you won’t have to cry to your friends about never getting laid. She’s also probably too busy self destructing to be high maintenance or demanding on you, you know asking why you never call or why you don’t want her meeting your friends. She’d pretty much be a dream girlfriend.


Related Posts:

Amy Winehouse Has Shorts
Amy Winehouse’s Dirty Panties
Amy Winehouse See Through Bikini
Amy Winehouse and Her Pink Box

Posted in:Disaster|Dying|Unsorted

2007

04

Dec

I am – stepLINKS of the Day

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I am pretty much always braindead but I am usually really brain dead when monday’s roll around. I usually have all these stories to talk about but since I’ve been drinking really hard I don’t remember any of them. I was going to talk about midnight molesting girls you get drunk and go home with by fingering them while they are asleep, but I don’t think there’s anything funny about that. Then I was going to talk about how most dudes don’t like lesbian porn but most girls do which makes me wonder whether most dudes need cock to get off and most girls need pussy to get off….then I realized that no one would care so I thought about talking about dudes who ask their girls to have another dude get in on a threesome because they want to watch their girl get slammed by another dude, or maybe secretly hope to accidentally brush against the dude they invite in but then realized you don’t have sex and can’t relate, so instead I’ll just post my links.

I know I do too many links…but they are all worth clicking and you have nothing better to do….so click ‘em…..

Mario Lopez’s Gf in a BIkini
GO

Katherine Heigl Kissing Her Boyfriend and Complaining About the Movie Knocked Up Being Shit
GO

Jessica Simpson Goes on a Date With Tony Romo Pictures
GO

Lauren Conrad Does the Cover of Shape Magazine Bikini Action
GO

Dude From Kuwait Eats a Live Lizard
GO

2 Hot Girls on the Beach Giving a Blowjob
GO

Good Charlotte Grabbing Nicole Richie’s Belly Lettin Us All Know He Did It…
GO

Fergie in Leather Pants To Match Her Leather Face
GO

Paris Hilton and Britney Spears Partying Together and Comparing Vaginas
GO

Are These Tits Real or Fake?
GO

Girls on Spring Break Showing Off Their String Bikinis Video
GO

Girls Dyking Out on a Piano
GO

Ashley Tisdale Admits She Got a New Nose Because of a Deviated Septum…Predicted by Me Last Week
GO

Some Guy Catches His Wife Cheating and Doesn’t Take it Too Well
GO

Some Chick Comedian Talking About Masturbating
GO

How About Some Freaky Japanese Gameshow Action With Bush
GO

The Rest of Kristen Bell In Complex
GO

The Lovele Mistresses Calendar Party Video
GO

Watch the Spice Girls Perform Video
GO

Kathy Ireland is the Washed Up Bikini Model of the Day
GO

Carmen Electra Whores Up a Christmas Benefit Concert With Her Tits
GO

Guess the Celebrity Body Part
GO

Some Hot Girl Getting Naked on Camera
GO

This Video is Called Spew Bag….
GO

Some Chick Named Silvina Luna Topless and Big Breasted on the Beach
GO

Watch a Fish Blowjob Because You’re Fucking Strange
GO

Montel WIlliams Threatens To Blow You Up
GO

Some Retarded Huge Tits in the Bath
GO

Tara Reid in Pink in Australia Lookin’ Crazy
GO

Some Wreck of an America Idol Addict Offered the Cops a Blow Job To Get Out of Her Situation
GO

Some Hot Lohan Airbrushed Photoshoot Pics
GO

Tara Reid at Some Hooker Ball in Australia
GO

Isabeli Fontana’s Lingerie Spread Because You Like Lingerie
GO

Some Tricked Out Station Wagon’s Sound System
GO

Lookin’ Good Sweetheart
GO

I am Hooked on this Kid Sister feat Kanye West – Pro Nails Tune. The Video Just Hit – Watch It
GO

Check Out This Hysterical Terry Richardson Exhibit in Hong Kong…You Have To Click The Hypebeast Link To See It Uncensored….Cuz Street Wear Gone Erect Penis is Strange….
GO

The Discount Wax Figures You’d Still Jerk Of To
GO

Watch This Give Us Your Voice Contest Submission Because You’re into Showtunes
GO

Some Heather Mills Pussy Pictures from When She Had Both Legs….
GO

Some Chick Named Seren Gibson Topless Photoshoot Video
GO

Watch This Fire Breathing Midget
GO

Ali G/ Borat’s Real Life Girlfriend in Her Panties
GO

Hot Beyonce Cleavage Pictures
GO

More Christina Aguilera Naked and Pregnant Pictures for Marie Claire Magazine
GO

Antiquiet Interviews The Dude From Queens of the Stone Age
GO

Check Out What Homie is Wearing in these Topless Beach Pics
GO

This Clip from Scare Tactics is Fucking Funny and That You’ve Probably Seen….
GO

Topless American Apparel Ad From France
GO

The Hottest Coffee in Vegas – Served By Girls in Lingerie
GO

Lookin’ Good Sweetheart
GO

Find Out What Porn Site Is Best For You….
GO

No Girlfriend? This Will Help You Get Sex
GO

This is Where You’ll Find People To Have Sex With
GO

FROM THE FORUM

More Suicide Girls
GO

UGK – Underground Kingz Limited Edition
GO

More – The Who
GO

FC Kahuna
GO

Chemical Bors. – American EP
GO

Red Hot Chili Peppers – Desecration Smile
GO

Untrue- Burial
GO

A Bunch More Fatboy Slim
GO

Groove Armada – Best Of
GO

Linkin Park Jay-Z collision Course
GO

Some Mya album
GO

The Firm – The Album
GO

More Nickelback
GO

Some Depeche Mode
GO

One of the wierdest things ever
GO

Taylor – Some Slut’s pics
GO

More I feel Myself Vids
GO

Pre-Rlease Too Short – Get Off the Stage
GO

Amature girl vids
GO

More Depeche Mode
GO

what’s your favorite way to finish? – SEX POLL
GO

Been to the Zoo Lately?
GO

The Police – Synchronicity
GO

Alkaline Trio Discography
GO

At the Drive-In Discography
GO

AFI thread
GO

Posted in:Unsorted

2007

03

Dec

I am – Tara Reid Bikini Pictures from Australia of the Day

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If you’re wondering why I am so slow moving today, it’s because there’s a huge snowstorm here and the roads are fuckin’ shit. Traffic everywhere and it put a damper on me walking my half naked fat body from my bed to the chair I sit on all day. I’m a pussy like that.

Speaking of vagina, here are some pictures of Tara Reid in a bikini, and it can only assumed that her pussy smells like whiskey and that is a huge turn on for me. Tara Reid is one of those drunks who can keep shit together, because her job isn’t really a job, since she hasn’t worked in a long time, when the rest of us with real jobs always end up getting caught wasted and then fired, not that I have a real job, but a boy’s allowed to pretend, this is the Internet. That doesn’t mean I respect her for holding it together but she’s kinda like a hero to drunk people everywhere.

I am into Tara Reid because I think she looks good compared all the drunken chicks I’ve come across. I like skinny blonde chicks who are drunk, but that’s just because a common theme in my sex life was that I could only fuck fat drunk girls with slopy tits, so she’d be a step up. Her fake tits aren’t as offensive as the ones I can afford to grab at the strip club, making her a potential candidate for my K-Fed retirement plan, because anyone who can afford to travel the world with a purse handler and spend her days in bikinis can afford to support me but that’s because I’m pretty cheap.

I have no idea why she’s wearing 2 different bikinis, but I can only assume it’s because she shit herself. It happens.


Related Posts:

Tara Reid is Swimming With Dolphins
Tara Reid in a BIkini Top
Tara Reid is a Drunken College Girl 10 Years Later
Tara Reid’s Wonky Implant Nipple

Posted in:Australia|Unsorted

2007

03

Dec

I am – An Olsen at Whole Foods of the Day

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Here is a picture of Ashley Olsen at Whole Foods in LA this weekend. If you’re wondering why I am posting it, it’s because it was emailed in and I like to encourage everyone to send me pictures and this is what happens when you do. I think she looks pretty hot and I’d let her grocery shop for me anyday, but I think she’d probably come home with all kinds of lesbian shit when all I really like eating is cookies.

I went to the grocery store this weekend, because I had no where else to go and it was saturday night, I was drunk and figured any chicks shopping on a Saturday night was one looking for dick. So I saw some hot chick reading some US Weekly celebrity bullshit and was like “that’s my target” because if all else failed I could tell her I have a celebrity site that no one reads and she’ll be less nervous about some creepy drunk dude talking to her.

So she left the magazine stand and made her way to the fruit section. She was buying apples so I decided to put a bag of carrots in my pants so she’d think I had a boner and walked up to her and said that I am the creepy guy in the grocery store who preys on girls shopping alone. When she looked at me with disgust I asked her if she liked apples and how badly I’d love to watch her eat an apple, trying to keep my creep on, but then some dude who looked like he just left the gym who was buying lettuce 10 feet away came in to save the day.

He basically asked if I had a problem and that I needed to fuck off or he’d have to take care of me. Knowing that I had dug my hole pretty deep and that I needed to stop when I was ahead I relocated. Bitch thought dude was a hero and they ended up leaving the store together, so in a lot of ways I am a fuckin’ matchmaker and hope I get invited to the wedding so I can make a speech about how I introduced them.

If you want to read the story from the dude who took the picture – GO


Related Posts:

Ashley Olsen’s See Through Skirt
Ashley Olsen at Some Girl Named Nora’s Birthday
Mary Kate Olsen’s See Through Shirt
Mary Kate Olsen on Weeds

Posted in:Unsorted|Whole Foods

2007

03

Dec

I am – Lily Cole Naked for Paradis Magazine of the Day

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So if you don’t know, Lily Cole is a 19 year old model and now you know. These are nude pictures of her for some magazine called Paradis. I am all for chicks getting naked, for whatever reason, whether it’s to take a shit or to get boys to pay attention to them because their dad never did or because they are nudists or even when it’s for art. As long as I see some pussy, even when they have orange pubic hair and flat asses. I’m happy.

The only problem I have with this naked for art and fashion bullshit is that I am not down with the double standard. I post tits on my site everyday and I’m called a porn site and get blocked in schools and offices around the world and shut down by paypal and can’t secure advertisers but when Lily Cole shows off her pussy in a magazine, they end up luring in million dollar ad deals because shit’s considered edgy or artistic because a famous model is being the slut and not some hotter but trashier chick from Florida taking a load inside her.

They call that shit porn, but for those of you who don’t know, which is probaly 95% of you losers, the first step to cumming in a chick is having her get naked. So maybe Europe is more liberal, maybe I’d do well there, but that doesn’t change that you conservative motherfucker’s who are trying to shut me down have probably already closed this post so that your bosses don’t see you lookin’ at vagina when you’re on the clock. I guess it’s all about context, but I’ll still keep on keepin on, because I have nothing better to do.

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Posted in:Lily Cole|Paradis Magazine|Unsorted

2007

03

Dec

I am – Tara Reid Drunk in Australia of the Day

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I like Tara Reid because I feel like we have a lot in common. The only difference is that she’s got a budget to afford some dude to carry around her boots and purse after she gets a drunken pedicure, when I have to convince old ladies to let me carry their purses, so that I can run off with them and hope there’s enough cash to get me my next drink.

Reality is, nothing says I have a pussy or I have no self respect than getting paid to carry a girl’s fucking purse. I know you all probably kiss the ground that any girl who talks to you walks on, but that’s just because you’re a desperate loser and are scared of being alone. See, I’ve got no shame, but I still wouldn’t lower myself to doing that shit for anyone. I get mad enough at my wife when she asks me to take out the garbage or carry her grocery bags . I don’t feel like I have a vagina, even though every girl I ever got with felt like I had a vagina, so feel like I shouldn’t feel like a bitch.


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Posted in:Australia|Unsorted