I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

Archive for the Unsorted Category

2008

06

Feb

Natasha Bedingfield Molesting Dolphins of the Day

This is a UK singer named Natasha Bedingfield swimming with Dolphins for some Bahamas resort called Atlantis that you’ve probably already heard of and who probably won’t be giving me a free trip for shouting them out on the site, because no one reads this site, but if they did, they’d probably hate it as much as me.

I guess the whole point of hiring this Natasha Bedingfield bitch to take pictures with their Dolphins was in hopes of increasing UK travelers to their resort even though people from the UK don’t know how to swim are pasty as fuck because they are scared of the sun and the only thing they are good at is griping while drinking pints and eating sausage, but who I am to tell some resort that they’d be better off hiring someone a little more local for their marketing campaign and that there money would be better spent elsewhere and that maybe they should lay off the beastiality because this bitch kissing a dolphin only makes me wonder how far they got after the cameras turned off….It’s like Atlantis Resort’s very own 2 Girls 1 Cup….only instead of it being 2 girls, some shit and puke, it’s just one famous girl with a big dolphin dick cumming in her mouth after taking her up the ass…..

The funny thing is that these pictures have the same impact on me as the time I walked in on a chick jerking off her dog and eating his cum, now that may sound sicker than it is, because it was and the story goes like this. This little fuckin’ lap dog was humping the shit out of this hot girl’s her hand in a coffee shop for about a minute before she pulled up a hand full of dog cum and licked it to make her friends laugh. I thought about going up to her and asking her to do it again so that I could make it my marketing program for the site, but I was too busy gagging and not the kind of gagging you get off to…pervert.

BONUS – Some Pictures of Her in a Bikini Top Because Bikini Tops are Better than Wet Suits…Unfortunately There’s No Beastiality in These Pics….


Related Posts:

Tara Reid Swimming With Dolphins
Hayden Panettiere in a Bikini For Dolphins

Posted in:Dolphins|Natasha Bedingfield|Swim|Unsorted

2008

06

Feb

Victoria Silvstedt’s Stupid Tits That Made Her Famous of the Day

I hate Victoria Silvstedt and it’s not because she’s Swedish. That’s probably the one thing I actually like about her and it’s not because Swedes are known to being blond and big breasted, but it is because they invented Ikea and as a poor man, I can appreciate a quality piece of furniture at a low price, even though I got all my shit on the side of the street on moving day and it all still smells like piss a decade later, but I blame my wife’s over-productive sweat glands for that and none of that means I don’t have taste except for maybe in women….

Either way, I hate this bitch because she is the only celebrity that as tried to sue me since I started this shit and she’s not even a real fucking celebrity. Most of the other sites I talk to have given up on posting her shit because she’s a fucking vulture and doesn’t like that we laugh at her for only being famous for her tits and she’s not even that famous with those doing the working for her….

If you’re wondering why I got sued, it’s because she was getting eaten out by a married greek midget shipping tycoon who may or may not be related to Stavros, and she didn’t like us laughing at them. So here’s to the memory of me thinking someone important cared enough about me to bring me down before realizing that if she sued me not a single media outlet would pick up the story, not even her local town paper because they are ashamed of her too and I wouldn’t have made it to Perez level who is rumored to have made 1,000,000 dollars last month alone and that’s probably enought o get me through at least 5 years living large by my standards. Make it happen people…..

So… These are her tits at a Baby Phat event during New York fashion week.


Related Posts:

Victoria Silvstedt Exclusive Slutty Pics
Victoria Silvstedt Gettin a Lap Dance
Victoria Silvstedt Lingerie Action
Victoria Silvstedt Bikini Pictures
Victoria Silvstedt Hates Me
The Victoria Silvstedt Cease and Desist

Posted in:Unsorted

2008

06

Feb

Heather Graham and Her See Through Top at Fashion of the Day

I remember a time when Heather Graham was showing off her huge bush in movies, now all she’s doing is showing off her huge tits in a stupid see-through shirt with a bra on in an outfit that reminds me of the flea market in 1992.

If you don’t understand that reference, you obviously didn’t work at the same flea market as me, where I was forced to help some asshole set-up his booth selling army surplus shit and I’d get paid 50 dollars a day. His booth was positioned between a crazy hippie bitch who sold those weird asian pictures of waterfalls that light up and the closest thing to the local sex shop at a time before sex shops.

This booth was designed for biker wives and truck driving wives and pretty much any bitch who looked like Christina Aguilera with her fake tits, fake hair and pounds of make-up. Most of them were either strippers who shouldn’t be strippers if they were in the city but since it was all they knew they were allowed to work and the ones who weren’t strippers just looked like they were.

Either way, they’d load up on the dumbest shit that I never found hot because of the girls who were wearing it. I’m talking spandex pants that looked like jeans and jeans that were so tight they’d have zippers down the seam around the ankle so the bitch could fit her feet through. They had cut off shorts and panty hose and the original g-string, they had american flag bikinis and bodysuit tops that snapped in the crotch so that they looked tight as fuck on their flappy chain smoking bodies. They had sheer, they had mesh, they had leather and they always had a fucking line-up like it was a motorcycle convention and they were in line to meet Ozzy Osborne or AC/DC whoever the fuck these trashy bitches get soft-ons for.

I guess it doesn’t really matter, what does is that Heather Graham is leaving some G-Star fashion show because G-Star is a second rate brand and Heather Graham is a second rate celebrity in some 1992 second rate stripper outfit and I still think it’s worth posting, but that’s just because she’s standing all crooked and that makes me think she’s drunk enough to stuff into my drunk and drive her home to meet my rubber vagina collection..not that I have a car, but you get what I am saying…..a little too well….and that’s why I am scared of you.


Related Posts:

Heather Graham Looks Like Meth
Some Heather Graham Stretch Mark TIts
Some Old Heather Graham Bikini Pics and One of My Best Posts of All Time
Here’s Some See Through Action of the Past

Posted in:NY Fashion Week|Unsorted

2008

06

Feb

Christina Aguilera’s Huge Tits Go to Best Buy of the Day

I can’t quite figure out what the fuck is going on with Christina Aguilera’s face but I feel like she’s stuck in a black and white movie from the 1950s. She looks like some kind of cheap trashy bitch who should be shaking her ass at a gogo dancing at a school dancing while chain smoking, or maybe wearing leather pants and driving around on motorcycle like some kind of rebel’s girlfriend or even serving me some apple pie at the roadside dinner when I am driving cross country in pink Cadilac convertible. She’s like a small town beautician who considers herself an artist with an easel filled with lipstick colors and a canvas that is her face….who goes door to door selling Avon..

I guess none of that matters and what does matter is that her hair and face is over the fucking top and her post pregnancy tits are busting out of her top because I guess titties get bigger when they are full of milk. The reality is that the only good thing about pregnancy is the breast milk, fuck the kid, it’s just a headache, the breast milk is like you never have to go to the store again because your chick is your very own dairy cow and her udders are twice the size they were when you met her like you won some kind of lottery because when you make your own food in your body it saves a lot of money. I used to dream about how amazing it would be to shit out a turkey dinner or even a burger or an extra large pizza like I was my very own self-sufficient canteen van outside the factory. Unfortunately every time I tried to do it, it just made a stinky shitty mess all over a paper plate.

BONUS – Christina Must have had the day off the kid because she also took her tits to vote…like a good citizen….


Related Posts:

stepTV Does Christina Aguilera’s Tour Bus
Christina Aguilera’s Big Tits in China
Christina Aguilera’s Pregnancy TIts in Action
Christina Aguilera’s Got Some Crazy Fucking Cleavage

Posted in:Huge Tits|Unsorted

2008

06

Feb

Katherine Mcphee and Her Male Pattern Balding Older Husband on their Honeymoon of the Day

Katherine Mcphee married a 46 year old balding dude who either has a huge cock or a lot of money or both. He probably offers her some kind of support her dad never offered her, even though I have a memory of seeing him crying like a girl at every American Idol performance, but maybe that’s the kind of emasculation that makes a woman feel like she has two mothers and leads her to banging a dude twice her age because he is a real man with a big bank account who never settled down because he was too busy building that bank account but now is ready to because money isn’t everything and a hot piece of 20 something ass is…once you have all that money….

Then again, I could be wrong, maybe it wasn’t her father crying at her American Idol performances and it was actually Ruben Studdard’s heart crying for oxygen as it slowly died a little more with every drop of sweat that dripped off his forehead each time her performed, or it could have been Clay Aiken’s mother crying because she doesn’t approve of gays, or maybe it was just Paula having a drug induced breakdown on set after fucking that dude Justin. I only watched Idol drunk and have a pretty shitty memory in general.

I guess none of that really matters, what does matter is that this is Katherine Mcphee and her eating disorder walking around in a little blue dress on her honeymoon with the old guy she married because she’s dressed in blue to match the pill this fucker is going to be taking to live out all the fantasies he’s kept bottled up all these years because when he was 23, no girls gave him the time of day….and now that he has money…they do and won’t be going to far until he’s done with them. It’s in the prenup.


Related Posts:

Katherine Mcphee’s Underwear Flash
The Katherine Mcphee Weight Loss Plan
Katherine Mcphee has Big Cleavage
Katherine Mcphee Has Some Idol Cleavage

Posted in:Bikini Top|Unsorted

2008

06

Feb

Rihanna and Her Umbrella of the Day

It turns out that that Rihanna is a whore and not the kind of whore I like, you know the ones who work the back alleys and smell of other men they serviced 2 days earlier, with rotting teeth and an addiction to crack that leads to cheap sex, Rihanna is the worst kind of whore and that is one with no pride but a whole lot of greed. We get it, this bitch sang about umbrellas and now it seems only fitting that she attach her name to and market umbrellas….because it will liner her fucking pockets. I hear she’s already working on song called “Drinking My Juicer Juice” or some other infomercial bullshit.

This kinda reminds me of the time my doctor who was cutting me pain killer prescriptions on the down low signed himself into rehab for having a painkiller addiction, only he wasn’t really making money off going to rehab, he actually lost money and his medical license, so maybe it’s not at all the same, but I do know that this shit is not very punk rock and that Rihanna and her umberalla are fuckin’ sell outs and that doesn’t change the fact that I want to make it rain on them ho with my semen.


Related Posts:

Rihanna’s Concert is Like Porn
Rihanna Performs in Latex with an Umbrella
Rihanna in a Bikini
Rihanna in a One Piece Bathing Suit

Posted in:Unsorted

2008

06

Feb

Mia Tyler is a Naked Plus Sized Model of the Day

I am pretty sure that these pictures aren’t new, but since staying on top of plus-sized models has never been my thing, since getting on top of plus sized wives is my thing and not really by choice. It’s pretty much the same thing as being fed the same shitty meal every fucking day for the last 5 years then finally convincing your wife to take you out to a buffet and seeing that one of the options is the same shitty meal you’ve been eating the last 5 years on the restaurant version and deciding to stay as far the fuck away from that as possible because you’ve exhausted that shit. I don’t know if that makes sense, but to make it make sense, I’ll put it like this….I don’t like seeing fat chicks naked or clothed because I live with one and don’t even wnt to see her naked and clothed. If there’s something wrong with that, you can blame my wife for being so disgusting and ruining fat chicks for me forever, because I obviously haven’t always hated fat chicks if I made the fucking beautiful life commitment that is marriage to a fat chick…..

Either way, this is Mia Tyler, she is Steven Tyler’s daughter who looks like she’s been stealing his food for the last 25 years explaining why he’s so skinny and she’s so fat…and now you can die knowing what her big tits look like and you can thank cake and emotional eating from growing up without a daddy who sent check from his concerts on the road but never sent hugs when that’s all she really wanted, for making all this possible.


Related Posts:

Liv Tyler Bikini Pictures
Liv Tyler Needs More than Just Make Up
Fergie and Steven Tyler Performing
Steven Tyler is a Clown

Posted in:Mia Tyler|Unsorted

2008

06

Feb

Coleen McLoughlin is in a Bikini of the Day

I figured that a good way to start the day is with some Footballer's wife who you've never heard of in a bikini. I really don't have much to say about her, other than if I was a footballer, she'd probably be one of the girls who I bring to my hotel room while on the road for a quick fuck, while the wife is back at home breast feeding our kids, and not make her into my wife. The reason for that is simple, she's not very hot. She's one of those girls who is good enough to fuck, because let's face it, anyone with a vagina is good enough to fuck when nobody is looking and it would probably be a lot less expensive than financing her vacation where these pictures were taken....

I guess if I was a footballer, I probably wouldn't be getting these high pressure induced nose bleeds, but I'd also have a different slag in every city ranked by how good they sucked me off, because you only live once and why sin all over your belly while god is watching when you can do it all over some willing chick's face. Because in the eyes of god, you're not cheating if you're wife doesn't know about it. At least that's the story I heard.


Related Posts:

Coleen McLoughlin in a Red Bikini
More Coleen McLoughlin Bikini Action

Posted in:Unsorted

2008

06

Feb

Christine Lakin from Paris Hilton’s Movie Does FHM of the Day

This is the girl who was on the show Step by Step that I used to jerk off to because TGIF was my porn before the internet and Step by Step was one of my favorites but that’s just because I have a thing for extended families, you know with being a stepfather and all. If you don’t remember this shit, it was on every friday and a slutty Susanne Somers was married to Pat Duffy and had a bunch of kids and this Christine Lakin was one of them.

She’s in Paris Hilton’s new movie that I want to pretend doesn’t exist and she plays Paris Hilton’s ugly friend, which is a joke in and of itself because Paris Hilton isn’t hot and Lakin is. Paris reminds me of this pet bird I used to have that was missing an eye because the cat got at her, only my bird had a little more class and the only sleazy thing it did was shit in its cage, and never even considered sucking dick on camera, but to be fair to Paris, my bird never really had the opportunity…..

Either way, Lakin is in FHM in a bikini and you’ll want to fuck her on camera while Paris Hilton direct, but you’ll never have that chance, so masturbating to these pics may be the closest you’ll ever get and I am glad to be a part of it even though being part of your masturbating kinda makes me feel uncomfortable and even a little homo. Cuddles.

To See the Rest of the Christine Lakin Pics from FHM
GO

Posted in:Photoshoto|Unsorted