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Archive for the Unsorted Category

2007

13

Nov

I am – Demi Moore Bikini Pictures of the Day

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I once randomly met a dude who decided to open up to me about how he fell in love with a girl in a picture. I am not talking about you perverts who print up these celebrity pics and scrap book them to cum on at a later date when your mom’s out of town on business, I am talking about a girl who was on a picture at a bed and breakfast he was staying at in the South of France, I guess he’s a romantic like that and I joked about whether his picture went to the beach and got topless with him and if they had sex while having a picnic eating baguette and cheese while drinking cheap bottles of when and he wasn’t laughing, he was lookin’ traumatized.

He went on to tell me that day after day he would see this picture of a beautiful girl and he would obsess over it, like lying in bed at night thinking about who the mystery girl was. By the fourth night he cracked, and snuck down and got the picture and jerked off to it, because he was in love and wanted to consummate their relationship. The next day he had decided to ask the woman who owned the bed and breakfast who the girl in the picture was and she said it was her daughter when she was 20, the summer before she died in a car accident 10 years earlier.

I feel like that jerking off to dead people, is kinda the same feeling you’d get having sex with Demi Moore. Here are her bikini pictures.


Related Posts:

Vintage Demi Moore Nudes Before She Launched Her Career Cuz Naked is the Way to Fame
Ashton Kutcher’s Mustache
Demi Moore’s Nipple
Rumer Willis is Lookin’ Good Sweetheart

Posted in:Ass|Bikini|Demi Moore|Unsorted

2007

13

Nov

I am – Petra Nemcova’s Doing Good in Haiti of the Day

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I’ve decided that Haiti is my kind of country. Not because I am black or because I speak their obscure language, or because I am a taxi driver, but because motherfucker’s are poor and I feel like it’s a place I could feel like Kanye West on my wife’s disability check.

Either way, they recruit a hot washed up model to do charity because she’s only washed up from being caught in the Tsunami and shit killed her boyfriend, it’s pretty obvious that she’s still got it going on in a mail bride kinda way, unlike me, which is why I’d do good in Haiti. I feel like they’d appreciate my work ethic.

I was lookin’ at the pics of Petra Nemcova propped up so everyone could see her hot Eastern European ass pretending to support them, because it’s a good PR move for her celebrity and they are using collapsable chairs as the stage because that’s how classy Haiti is. It’s more ghetto than the shit I used to sit on in AA and broke through because I am fat, or the milk crate I use as a desk, or the box I use as my dinning room table next to my stained mattress I found outside 2 summers ago.

Either way, it’s nice to see her supporting black people with her charity that she started, I am sure more black people will bust nut thinking of her than ever before and there nothing wrong with using your money for good, because I know, if I ever had money, I’d only help myself get more drunk than I already do and on a more regular basis while sitting on a beach surrounded by hookers, but I’m just not a good of a person and karma likes to remind me of that every chance it gets, by never giving me money to get drunk on beaches with hookers….


Related Posts:

Petra Nemcova is Cleopatra on Halloween
Petra Nemcova’s Upskirt
Petra Nemcova’s Got Some Hot Naked Tits
Petra Nemcova’s Got Hot Clothed Tits

Posted in:Legs|Petra Nemcova|Short Skirt|Unsorted

2007

13

Nov

I am – The Victoria’s Secret Angels Fly Virgin Airlines of the Day

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I guess the best thing about the Victoria’s Secret Angels flying Virgin Airlines, is how many virgins jerk off to their pictures everyday. Yes, I am talking to you.

Speaking of talking, I was trying to seduce some model who is in Tampax commercials that I came across on the internet, because I feel like despite having the shittiest website on the internet, models in Tampax commercials should try to get all the free publicity they can get, even if it means letting me watch them shower on webcam to reachout to 6 masturbating dudes, so I figured I’d ask her on a date, not that I’d ever leave my house, but it felt like she’d respond better than asking for nude pics, as I often do and never get. When she rejected me I wrote this:

You weren’t going on a date with me regardless, because I don’t do dates, they are a waste of time, and I don’t leave my house, but I used to fuck wannabe models and they were also a waste of time, but at least I get to see them doing things they wouldn’t want their father seeing, unless they were from a dirty family….which sometimes happens because I met them at the bus stop and they were teenage runaways, who weren’t really wannabe models, but didn’t seem to mind the camera when they were sleeping….

She never responded. Either way, marrying a lingerie or bikini model’s always been a dream of mine that I kind of fell short on, like I have with most of my dreams. I never thought I’d end up with someone you’d think would be a good spokesperson for Dunkin’ Donuts, until we got our rejection letter from them because despite bitch being a great customer, her morbid obesity takes away from the message they are trying to get out to young mother’s on the go. Apparently fat doesn’t sell, but it does kill, just not fast enough, not that I want her dead, but it’d be a nice vacation….but not as nice as one on a plane with these bitches, because I hear there are no laws once you’re off the ground….and exposing myself vagina shaped penis, because I am an inny not an outty and that would be the best way to convince them that I am one of them and that they can trust me enough to show me their vaginas and let me watch them pee. When I do it in the park, I always seem to get in trouble.


Related Posts:

Heidi Klum is a Cat on Halloween
Alessandra Ambrosio is a Playboy Bunny on Halloween
Alessandra Ambrosio is a Slut
Adriana Lima is Hot of Pirelli in a See Through Outfit

Posted in:Adriana Lima|Alessandra Ambrosio|Heidi Klum|Unsorted|Victoria's Secret

2007

13

Nov

I am – stepLINKS of the Day

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The older I get, the more confused I get when drinking. I try to keep up with the college kids and finish a 26 ouncer on my own but it always ends up messy. I just got an email from some girl saying how we made out multiple times in the night and that I wouldn’t stop chasing her around the club so she did it to get me to go away. I guess persistence is key and it’s really not cheating on my wife because I don’t consider making out cheating to begin with, but also because I have no fuckin memory of any of this. I seriously thought I was sober the whole night, but now that the stories are coming in, I just think I was amazing.

Here are my links:

A Paparazzi Is Seriously Injured While Chasing Britney Spears, Unfortunately I Don’t GIve a Fuck Because the Paparazzi Treat me Like Shit..and I Hope Someone Sues the Asshole Company He Works for Costing them A Lot Of Money So they Leave me the Fuck Alone
GO

I love the Rad Girls – Watch the Wheel of Puke Video because They are Classy Like That
GO

Mayrin Villanueva is the new Bond Girl and She’s Hot
GO

Some Webcam Girl Gets Caught in the Act By Her Dad, it’s fake.
GO

Janice Dickinson’s New Model Did Porn Before He Did Her Show…Check the Pics…
GO

Rosario Dawson Lookin’ Fuckin Hot in this Photoshoot
GO

Britney Spears Runs Red Lights Video Because She’s Above the Law
GO

Some Dude Gives His Gf a Bikini Wax
GO

LA Ink’s Kat Von D Interviewed
GO

Some Chick Named Maggie Q Wears her Bra to an Event
GO

Angelina Jolie has a Rip in The Ass of Her Leather Pants
GO

Some Winona Ryder Sex Scene I Think I Posted Last Week…But Don”t Remember Cuz I’ve Been Drinkin’
GO

Audrina Partridge Has an Upskirt Moment because She’s Single Now
GO

The Spice Girls do a Commercial for Some UK Wal Mart Because they Take All The Work They Can Get
GO

Audrina Partridge and Her Rebound Because She Just Broke Up With Her Boyfriend
GO

Girls With Hourglass Figures are Smarter then Girls Without….
GO

Nicole Sherzinger’s Got Some Hot Maxim Pictures
GO

The Megan Good Tit Flash I was Too Lazy to Post About Today
GO

Furries Attack In Japan
GO

Some Crazy Japanese Game Show Contestant Molests The Audience…
GO

Maria Sharapova May Not Know How to Dress But At Least She’s Got Insane Legs
GO

Some Girl In a Short Skirt Prank
GO

Real Prison Chicks Getting Down and Dirty
GO

Drunk Girls Grinding on the Floor Video
GO

James Woods is Robbin the Craddle with this 21 Year Old Girlfriend
GO

Paul McCartney Calls Heather Mills a One Legged Bitch Because She has One Leg and a Vagina….
GO

This is What Britney’s VMA Performance Was Supposed to Look Like
GO

Heidi Montag Backin’ Her Thang Up Like She Knows How to Dance in Vegas
GO

Paris Hilton’s Got Period Teeth
GO

Elisabetta Gregoraci is Fuckin’ Hot in Her Bikini Bent Over
GO

Kelly Brooke Does Some Nude Flower Pictures
GO

Hayden Panettiere Beefs Up at the Gym wearing Shorts
GO

Lookin’ Good Sweetheart the Diana Ross Edition
GO

Some Extreme Caterpillar Dancing Video
GO

Some Road Raging Dentist Caught on Tape
GO

Lesbian Video of the Day
GO

Lots of Slutty Girls Gettin’ Busy in the Clubs Video
GO

Paris Hilton Looks Better in Black and White
GO

Beth Ditto Throws Up on Homophobes…because They Throw Up on Her First…
GO

Some Assholes Let His Friends Shoot Him With a Potato Gun
GO

Some Busty UK Chick Named Seren Gibson is Topless for Front Magazine
GO

Penis Enlargement Spam is Poetic
GO

Behind the Scenes with Sofia Margarita Stuff Magazine Photoshoot Cuz It’s Hot
GO

Some Girl’s Vagina on Photobucket
GO

Lookin’ Good Sweetheart
GO

Some Girl Gets Naked for Someone on Photobucket
GO

Photobucket Allows People to Post Lesbian Shit Because They are a Fuckin’ Porn Site
GO

Some Midget Wrestler Gets Knocked the Fuck Out
GO

Some Amputee Erotica Video Because Sometimes One Leg is Better than 2
GO

The Worst Acting in a Porn Video Ever
GO

Use this Spray to Get Laid
GO

Posted in:stepLINKS|Unsorted

2007

12

Nov

I am – Sarah Harding at some Lingerie Store Opening of the Day

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Here are some pictures of Sarah Harding doing the Paris Hilton at some store opening, because I guess when you’re some washed up popstar from the UK, Paris Hilton seems like some kind of success story that’s making all the right moves, so bitch goes out and does her hair like her, and shows up at events and poses like her, and even has the wonky eye shit going on, when all she really needs to do is take the free lingerie she gets from hosting this shitty Mall-lookin’ event, and make a fucking video for us all to dance to and by dance I mean masturbate, like I used to do to her shitty UK pop music, it just touched me in all the right places. But that was a long time ago, when masturbating was the only thing I had going for me…and now God’s even taken that away from me.

Speaking of loss, I know that girls aren’t as influenced by Paris as they were a few years ago because she’s old. Now they are all doing the Soulja Boy dance, when 5 years ago they were saying “that’s hot” and weren’t wearing underwear while suckin’ off their boyfriends on video. It’s kinda sad to have lost that too. I guess what it comes down to is that the world is a cold dark place but at least we still have our tears to cry with…


Related Posts:

Sara Harding Flashing Her Tits
Cheryl Tweedy Cole’s Animal Print Bra
Cheryl Tweedy Cole in a See Thru Shirt
Cheryl Tweedy Cole in a Bikini

Posted in:Lingerie|Sarah Harding|Unsorted

2007

12

Nov

I am – Sarah Michelle Gellar Maxim December 2007 Preview of the Day

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So I got an email saying that Sarah Michelle Gellar is the Maxim December 2007 covergirl with a link to some of the previews. I was pretty surprised because I feel like she’s fuckin’ washed up and that I have a better chance being a Maxim Covergirl than she does, but that’s only because I have hot tits, for a dude, and that shit should be fuckin’ acknowledged because I’ve spent a lot of time sitting and drinking and eating bad foods to make this shit happen and that’s all I have to say about that.

Check Out Sarah Michelle Gellar’s Magazine Preview
GO

Posted in:Lingerie|Maxim|Sarah Michelle Gellar|Unsorted

2007

12

Nov

I am – Pam Anderson’s Insane Tits of the Day

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I was at a bar drinking my life away, as I sometimes do and this busty middle-aged hooker Pam Anderson is her idol bitch sat down next to me. She was wearing a “Guess” t-shirt, so I said 36 D, and instead of slapping me, she liked the attention and said 36 DD. The sad party of this story is that this pick-up line is fucking genius, but the only bitches who rock “Guess” t-shirts are trashy older ladies that buy the shit at the discount center. There was a time when every chachi motherfucker girl and cheap french slut rocked this shit in this city. It’s not the cool choice anymore because all the bitches are into American Apparel or designer clothes, but if you’re from some trashy town, you may have the chance to drop this line and should, because a girl in guess is a girl who likes talking about her tits.

Here are some pictures of Pam Anderson’s ridiculously huge tits and hard nipples in some parachuting outfit, lookin like every cheap stripper who still thinks Guess is cool.

I think drinking has ruined my ability to tell stories. I’ll work on that for later today, when I sober up, or get more drunk that shit makes more sense to me.


Related Posts:

Pam Anderson’s Vagina Exposed
Pam Anderson’s Vagina Puppy
Pam Anderson’s Shitty Nipple Slip

Posted in:Implants|Nipples|Pamela Anderson|Tits|Unsorted

2007

12

Nov

I am – Lohan’s Shitty Upskirt Pictures of the Day

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I was hanging with some Native American girls this past weekend as I sometimes do, because I like to keep things multicultural and I don’t remember the night at all, but I do remember one of them hated me more than I hate myself and I like when that happens, because it reaffirms that I am right in thinking what I think about myself…it’s like getting an “A” on a test.

When I found out that she wasn’t as native as her friend and was what they call non-status and pay taxes, I decided that would be a good theme for the night. So instead of learning her name or asking her to Huff Gas with me, I decided to name her non-status and try to encourage her to fuck every white guy in the place, because they’ve already fucked her. Everytime she bought a drink, I’d be like “sweet deal, you didn’t have to pay taxes on that shit, maybe I should get you to buy my drinks for me” then I’d correct myself saying “oh shit, that’s right you’re non status”.

I realize that this story is way less funny than the actually experience, I guess you’d have to have been there to get it, but I am too lazy to edit myself and I like to document how I piss off new minorities and this weekend was dedicated to the non status people….

Either way, here are pictures of Lohan having a shitty upskirt, that isn’t an upskirt and is really just a pair of shorts. She may have gone to rehab, but didn’t go to finishing school, so I am pretty sure that her freckled vagina isn’t done being willing to get raped and pillaged like a Native Village, but the status she’ll land is some STD shit, that I am willing to bury my face into, because she’s worth the pain.


Related Posts:

Lohan’s Vagina Pictures
Lohan’s Nipple in a See Through Shirt
Lohan is Hot From Every Angle
Lohan’s Hot Tits

Posted in:Hot|Lindsay Lohan|Uncategorized|Unsorted|Upskirt

2007

12

Nov

I am – RIP Kanye West’s Mom of the Day

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Death is never funny, even when it happens to a comedian or a clown, or when the person involved dies doing something stupid like showering with his TV because he didn’t want to miss his favorite episode of Friends or by trying to show his friends how cool he is by running through traffic like he was Frogger, or even if he died jerking off with a dildo jammed in his ass and a fleshlight in his hand wearing women’s panties, but this was emailed to me and I figured I’d throw it up.

I know that it’s not like there’s anything you can do about it and you’re probably not even a fan of Kanye’s but regardless, I am posting it because he was really close to her and sings about her and all that shit, and when death hits, the person either gets totally fucked up and self destructs or ends up producing the best shit of their life. So this is going to have some kind of impact on him and shit he’s involved in.

You should all call your moms and loved ones today, even if they are ashamed of you for being such a loser and fuck up who embarrasses the family and wrote you off 10 years ago asking you to never call home again, just because their still alive and you never know when they’ll drop dead leaving you with a whole lot of guilt for not talking to them when you had the chance that will follow you for the rest of your life and lead you to the bottle more than you’ve already been lead to the bottle.

Rapper Kanye West’s Mother Dies
By JACOB ADELMAN

LOS ANGELES (AP) — Donda West, mother of Kanye West and former chairwoman of Chicago State University’s English department, has died, a spokesman for the rapper said. She was 58.

Donda West died Saturday night in Los Angeles, said the spokesman, who asked for anonymity because not all family members had been notified.

“The family respectfully asks for privacy during this time of grief,” the spokesman said.

A cause of death has not been released.

Donda West was known for the strong bond she shared with her son, by whose side she was often seen at parties and award shows.

Kanye West, 30, often spoke of his close relationship with his mother, who raised him alone after her husband left when Kanye was 3.

She was the inspiration for the song, “Hey Mama,” on Kanye West’s 2005 album “Late Registration,” in which he sings: “Hey Mama, I wanna scream so loud for you, cuz I’m so proud of you … I appreciate what you allowed for me. I just want you to be proud of me.”

Donda West frequently defended her son against critics who accused him of penning misogynistic lyrics and other purported transgressions.

“I support my baby,” she said in a Chicago Sun-Times interview. “He is telling how he feels and he is speaking the truth as he sees it.”

In May, she published the book “Raising Kanye: Life Lessons from the Mother of a Hip-Hop Star,” in which she paid homage to her famous son.

Donda West served as chief executive of West Brands LLC, the parent company of her son’s business enterprises, and as chairwoman of the Kanye West Foundation, an educational nonprofit that works to decrease dropout rates and improve literacy.

Kanye West told the Associated Press in August that he and his mother worked together to devise the foundation’s first program, “Loop Dreams,” which helps public school students get involved in music.

“Me and my mother were discussing ways to give back and came up with the concept,” he said.

Donda West worked in higher education for 31 years, before leaving academia in 2004 to help manage her son’s career, according to a biography on the Kanye West Foundation’s Web site.

She began working at Chicago State University in 1980 and eventually chaired the school’s English department, according to the site. She started her teaching career in the early 1970s as an instructor at Brown College in Atlanta.

Kanye West’s writing partner Rhymefest lamented Donda West’s death Sunday in an appearance on Chicago radio station WCGI.

“She was everyone’s mom,” Rhymefest said. “A spirit never dies, a spirit lasts forever.”

Associated Press Music Writer Nekesa Mumbi Moody in New York and AP writer Sophia Tareen in Chicago contributed to this report.

Posted in:death|Kanye West|R.I.P.|Uncategorized|Unsorted